Chapter Ten
CHAPTER TEN
Gem
Finn moved towards me, still clutching his paint roller in a white-knuckled grip. He looked half-terrified by his own actions, but there was a flame burning in his eyes I’d never seen before. A hunger that made my chest tighten and my dick throb. How the fuck we’d gotten here, I didn’t know, but I wasn’t about to question it. My feelings for Finn had grown more complicated over the past few days, and the idea of potentially getting my hands on him was something I wanted more and more with each passing second.
He was my friend. But could he be something more as well? There was only one way to answer that question.
I took a couple slow steps across the room, worried if I moved too fast I would spook him and he’d flee. I wasn’t sure why I was treating Finn like a skittish colt, but maybe it was because this situation felt so unexpected, and I was half waiting for him to realise what was going on and tell me to forget it.
“So,” I said as I reached him, “you think I’m gorgeous?” I was going for teasing, but my voice came out hoarse.
“Yes.” Finn sounded more confident than he looked, a tiny smile curling the edge of his lips. It was his dangerous smile—the one I already knew I’d do anything for. “I really do.” He suddenly seemed to realise he was still holding the roller and chuckled, lowering it to the floor before moving closer. Finn was taller than me, and there was something heady about looking up into his warm, hungry eyes. He fixed me with a look that made the bottom drop out of my stomach, and my cock filled so fast it made my head spin. This was not the Finn I thought I knew, but that wasn’t a bad thing.
“You’re not bad yourself,” I said, trying and failing again at being teasing. I heard the catch in my voice, the one I always got when I was reaching desperate. But how the fuck had I gotten there so quickly?
Finn chuckled again as he reached out one hand to brush it against my jaw. A slow tingle spread across my skin, and I let out a shuddering breath.
“What do you want?” Finn asked. That was the million-pound question. What did I want? I didn’t think I even knew.
“I… I don’t know.” I swallowed. Finn’s hand was cool against my cheek. It was all I could focus on.
“Do you want this to stop? We can go back to painting and pretend this conversation didn’t happen.”
“Is there another option?”
“Yes,” Finn said, his dangerous smile widening. “There are several. Would you like me to list them for you?”
I found myself nodding. This felt like the beginning of a fantasy—something I’d always dreamt about but hadn’t experienced, at least outside of listening to endless amounts of narrated porn. I’d let guys boss me around before, but there was something different about the way they’d done it versus the casual power in Finn’s voice. It was like others had tried to demand power but hadn’t expected to get it, but Finn didn’t have to demand because he knew all it would take was a single word and I’d drop to my knees in front of him.
Maybe I was reading too much into the situation. Maybe my brain was just desperately making connections because it needed something I’d never been able to give it before. It wasn’t something I could think about now.
Finn’s thumb caressed my cheek. “If we’re going to do this, the first thing I’ll say is that if I ask you a question, I want you to answer me. With words. I don’t expect full sentences, but I do expect a coherent, verbalised answer. Okay?”
“Yes,” I said with another nod. What the fuck was happening? Had my Finn been kidnapped and suddenly replaced? Or had this part of him been there all along, waiting in secret to be unleashed? I wondered how many people got to see this side of him and whether I should count myself lucky to be one of them.
“Thank you.” He smiled at me and my heart leapt. “Your options are, we can kiss and then go back to painting. We can kiss and then go into the stockroom where you can have either a blow job or a hand job before we go back to painting. Or we can finish painting and then go back to your flat, but I won’t do any more than the options you’ve already been offered. Not today. Or, as I said, we can forget this ever happened. It’s up to you.”
Yeah, there was no fucking way in hell we were going to forget this. I knew that doing this, whatever this was, would change things between us. But there was one thing I needed to know before I made my decision. Well, two things.
“Are you sure about this? I mean, do you actually want this? I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” I said. “I know you, Finn. You can pretend all you like, but you do things for people when you’re not actually interested in them for yourself. You’re selfless, and that’s amazing, but I don’t want you to do this just because you think I need it or something.”
Finn moved closer so I could see every detail of his face and feel his breath ghosting over my skin. His body brushed against mine, sending a jolt through me. “You’re so thoughtful,” he said quietly. “And I appreciate your concern, but trust me, I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t interested. I take consent from all sides seriously. And that includes myself. So, no, I’m not just doing this because I think you need it. I’m doing it because I know you need it, and so do I.”
I shivered as his words sank into me. “Okay, then. I just wanted to know.”
“I appreciate the concern.” He drew his hand down to my chin, holding me in place. “Have you made your decision?”
“I think so,” I said. “But do we have to come back to painting afterwards?”
“Yes.” Finn chuckled. “You said you wanted to get the downstairs painted today, so we’re going to. You just have to choose whether you want to do the painting now or later.”
Either way was going to be fucking torture, but the way Finn was making it sound like I had a choice made my cock ache. I needed release. Maybe if I chose now, Finn would let me come again after we’d finished painting. Like an extra reward.
“By the way, if you do choose now, you won’t get an extra orgasm afterwards,” Finn said, apparently able to read my mind. “That isn’t how this works.”
“Spoilsport.”
“Don’t pout. It’s not becoming, and I don’t like brats.”
I swallowed, trying to ignore the way he was hitting every single one of my buttons without trying. “Sorry,” I muttered.
“Apology accepted.” He leant down further so his lips brushed against my ear. “Now, make your choice, or you won’t get anything.”
“The second. The, er, the kissing and the stockroom. That one… please.”
“Good. Thank you for choosing.” Finn looked down at me, heat burning in his eyes. “I’m going to kiss you now.” I opened my mouth to make a stupid joke, but the words vanished when Finn tilted his head and brushed his lips against mine. Sparks jumped across my skin like I’d been shocked as a wave of sensations flooded me. Finn’s lips were soft but firm, controlling every aspect of the kiss. His tongue caressed the seam of my mouth, and I opened for him.
It was like I’d never been kissed before.
The intensity of the feelings should have terrified me, but all I wanted was more. Finn’s hand was still on my jaw, holding me in place, while his other reached out to wrap around my waist and pull me incrementally closer until I was pressed against him. My fingers fisted in the front of the old hoodie he was wearing like I was trying to keep him there, in front of me, forever.
Finn released me slowly, and I choked back a whimper. I’d never had anyone make me feel so wrecked after one kiss, like I’d been momentarily disconnected from reality. I didn’t think I’d be able to live without more of Finn’s kisses. It was like I’d tasted something secret and forbidden, and the knowledge of it was something I’d never be able to forget.
“Would you like more?” Finn asked.
I wanted to tell him that was a ridiculous question because how could I not want more after that? But then an exasperated voice reminded me how important consent was to Finn, and I nodded. “Yes.”
“Good.” He slid his hand down to mine and interlaced our fingers in a way that felt ridiculously natural. My heart raced as he pulled me towards the empty stockroom then closed the door behind us. The room was full of random shit I’d acquired over the past week—mostly cleaning and decorating equipment. Finn released my hand and moved a few bits aside until there was enough space around us. That would teach me to keep everything tidier.
My aching cock pulsed at the realisation of what was about to happen. Finn smiled at me again, and my stomach tightened. He pulled me against him and our mouths met in another kiss. My hand slipped under his hoodie and t-shirt, desperately seeking skin, and Finn shivered when my fingers brushed against his waist.
“Your hands are cold,” he murmured.
“Sorry, it’s a curse.”
“I’m sure I’ll get used to it.” He kissed me again while my stomach flipped. “Either that or I’ll make you keep your hands to yourself. I’ll take you apart without letting you touch me.”
“Fuck.”
“Do you like that idea?” he asked as his hands worked under my clothes. I bit back a moan as his fingers trailed along the waistband of my jeans.
“Yeah.”
“What else do you like?”
“Er… I…” Fuck. Did I have to admit what I wanted? I didn’t think Finn would judge me. We were friends after all, and he wasn’t the type to do that. But once again we were crossing into unknown territory, and I wasn’t sure if the map was marked ‘Here there be dragons’ or not.
Fuck it. We’d come this far. Might as well keep going. I could think about the consequences later.
“I like… I like the idea of, er, giving up control a little bit. Not, like, all the time, but I mean… Shit, I’m not explaining this well.” I shook my head and snorted. “I like other people to be in charge when we fuck. It gets me out of my head a little.”
“I understand,” Finn said, running his thumb across my bottom lip. “I feel the same, except I prefer to be in control. It’s a heady experience and one I take seriously.”
“Do you ever not take anything seriously?”
“Sometimes.” Finn smirked. “By the way, I wouldn’t test me. It could get interesting for you. But only if you want it too. Like I said, I take consent seriously. It helps me know just how far I can push you. And if this is something you want to do again, we’re going to sit down and talk about everything. We should be doing it now, but—”
“One blow job is not going to break things, I promise,” I said.
“So you’ve made your decision, then?”
“I guess I have.” I hadn’t meant to, but apparently my subconscious had decided for me. “Er, I don’t have any condoms, but if it helps, I got a test after the whole Jesse shitshow, and it came back negative. It just depends if you’re up for that.”
“I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t,” he said. His voice was low and soft, and fucking God, it was a turn-on. He kissed me again, his tongue leisurely exploring my mouth. Then he sank to his knees in front of me. “If you were in my bed, I’d take my time with you, draw this out until you couldn’t take any more. But I think today will have to be different because I’m not sure how long I can cope with kneeling on this floor.” I chuckled weakly. “Also, we still have to finish painting, and if I did everything I wanted to you, you wouldn’t have the energy left.”
“You can’t tease me like that,” I said. Finn reached for my belt, unbuckling it, and popping open my jeans. I suddenly panicked that I’d put on crap, old underwear that morning, but then I remembered I’d thrown half of them out over Christmas because I’d had to concede there was such a thing as boxers with too many holes in them. “It’s not fair.”
“Life isn’t fair. But don’t worry, I’m still planning on doing that at some point. Just not today.” He looked up at me with an intense gaze that had me rooted to the spot. “Trust me.”
“I do.”
Finn gently pushed my jeans down around my thighs, leaving my boxers in place. I glanced down and cursed internally as I realised I was wearing boxers patterned with fucking D20s. My sister had gotten them for me at Christmas as a sort of joke, even though we both knew I loved shit like that. Finn traced a finger over the hard line of my cock and looked up at me with a smile. “I like your underwear.”
“Thanks,” I said. “My sister got them for me.”
“Sounds like something my sister would do.” He stroked my cock leisurely, totally unfazed by the fact that he was torturing me. He’d said he wasn’t going to draw this out, but if this was Finn moving fast, his moving slowly was going to kill me.
He leant forward and pressed a gentle kiss to the head of my dick, which was straining against the brightly patterned fabric. I whimpered, my hands balling into fists. I still wasn’t sure what to do with them. Finn glanced up at me again. “You can put your hands on my head if you want. But you’re not allowed to push or pull me farther onto your cock, do you understand? You’ll get what I give you, not what you want.”
My cock visibly pulsed, and I nodded. “Yes.” The temptation to add sir to that sentence was unreal, but I wasn’t sure if that was Finn’s thing, and I didn’t want to ruin this moment by suddenly discussing dynamics. It had taken us enough time to get to this point following Finn’s wobbly steps towards me while he’d been clutching the pain roller. I didn’t want to draw it out any further. My hands reached for Finn’s hair as he pulled my boxers down to meet my jeans, letting my cock spring free. His short hair was soft in my hands, and it distracted me for a second… until I felt the wet heat of Finn’s tongue brush across my slit.
“Shit!” The word came out louder than I intended, and Finn snorted. I wanted to say something witty, but then Finn wrapped his hand around my shaft and all my words faded. His grip was tight as he slowly started to pump my dick, but it wouldn’t be enough to get me off. He was teasing me again.
Finn pressed another kiss to the head of my cock before wrapping his lips around it. His tongue flicked out again, caressing my slit and sending another bolt of pleasure through me before he slowly slid my cock deeper into his mouth. My fingers tightened in his hair as I cursed. Finn started to work my cock—sucking and licking and pumping my shaft with his hand while using the other to roll my balls between his fingers. It was nothing like the fast, careless blow jobs Jesse had inflicted on me. It had always felt like he was giving me head out of bored politeness instead of desire.
“Fuck, yes… just like that…” A garbled mess of words spilt from my lips as Finn bought me closer and closer to the edge. I watched every move he made, the sight making my chest clench and my cock swell. Finn glanced up at me, and the sight of his soft, hazel eyes full of heat and his slick lips stretched around my shaft were almost enough to make me come. Not that it was going to take much more.
Pulling off my cock with a slick pop, Finn’s eyes met mine while his hand continued to jack me. “Tell me when you’re close.”
“I’m really not far,” I panted. “You keep doing that and it’s not going to be long.”
Finn smirked like he was pleased with himself, and that did something completely new to my insides. Then he sucked my cock back down, and I knew I was done for. It barely took two pumps of his mouth before I was crying out a warning, and as Finn tightened his hand and his lips, I grunted and came down his throat, clutching his hair as he swallowed every drop of my load. He released my dick gently, his tongue swiping up the last few bits of cum clinging to the head of my dick. Then he sat back on his heels, letting my hands slide from his hair, and began to pull my boxers back up, a satisfied smile across his face.
“Did you enjoy that?” he asked as he tucked my cock away. The tone of his voice suggested he already knew the answer.
“Fucking hell,” I said. It was all I could manage. Finn’s smile widened. He reached for my jeans, tugging them up and handing them to me.
“Good.”
My hands found the waistband of my jeans, snapping into action even though the rest of my brain hadn’t caught up. Finn rose gracefully to his feet, and my eyes drifted down to his groin. “What about you?” I asked. “Did you not want to get off? If you give me two minutes, I’ll—”
“That’s very sweet,” Finn said, cutting me off. “But I’m fine. This wasn’t about me. It was about you.”
“But…” I was struggling to wrap my head around what he’d said. Surely he wanted something? Everyone wanted something.
Finn leant in close and kissed me gently. I could taste myself on his lips. “Another time,” he said softly. “I like making people feel good, and I don’t always need to get off to do that. Besides, we still have painting to do.”
“Are you still gonna make me do that?”
“Yes. That was the deal.” I felt him smiling against my mouth as I kissed him again.
“Are we… Do you want to do this again?” I asked.
“Yes, I do. If you do.”
“Yeah.” There was so much I suddenly wanted with him. Like this one experience had suddenly opened a door into a new realm of possibilities. I’d always had Finn firmly in the ‘friend’ box, but that was now broken. I just hoped that whatever happened between us, I would still have a friend at the end of it.