Chapter Twenty-Three
Landon
Fuck.
I pace back and forth outside of the doctor’s office, hoping someone doesn’t drive by and see me. The last thing I need is to explain why I am here on Christmas with a girl that is trying to remain hidden from the rest of the world. It’s bad enough Lainey saw us.
Not that I care what people say or think, but I know Allie doesn’t want Logan to come knocking down her door. And that’s exactly what will happen if words get to her that Allie is hurt.
My eyes dart back to the doctor’s office and I will the doors to open with Allie walking out. I have never in my life been so terrified. The sight of her in the tub, looking devastated and helpless will forever be burned into my mind.
It was like my nightmare was coming true and I knew that this time I wasn’t in some fucked up dream state.
I fought every urge in my body to hug her and never let go. Ever since that day in the cabin, it seemed like she has been letting her guard down around me. And then when she shared how her parents died and she let me touch her…it was like I could see another wall crumbling.
The brisk Christmas air whips around me, reminding me that today isn’t the holly jolly day it should have been. Instead, I’m standing here, begging for Allie to be okay.
Never in my life did I think I would befriend the girl that I was sent to retrieve from her own personal hell, but here we are and I don’t regret it. Allie has shown a level of raw and real emotion that most hide behind. She has allowed me to see what is happening behind those light blues and a peek at the pain she is fighting daily to survive. Some days are good and some are bad. And every night when I go to bed, I have to fight the voices in my head that are telling me I am her only option. That she only needs me because she doesn’t have anyone else. Part of me thinks she would be better off without me, but every time I try, I end up right back at her door because, selfishly, she is the only person who silences the voices in my head.
My phone vibrates in my pocket, and the feeling pulls me out of my head. Taking a deep breath, I glance towards the door to make sure Allie isn’t coming out before I dare answering whoever is calling. When nothing but the wreath hanging on the door sways in the wind after a few moments, I pull the device out of my pocket.
The vibrating momentarily stops as I see who it is, but it immediately starts back up.
Fuck. This isn’t going to be good.
Lachlan’s name appears on the screen and I take a deep breath before answering. He has always had some weird sixth sense on picking up unusual behavior patterns and for someone who is trying to desperately to hide the darkness inside himself, I need to secure my mask tightly in place.
Tapping the answer button, I bring the phone to my ear and lean against the Pitbull statue in front of the office. “Merry Christmas Lachlan.” My voice comes out void of emotion and almost cold.
Nice going Grinch.
“Merry Christmas Landon.” My spine immediately straightens at the tone of his voice. Lachlan is never one to show many emotions, but has one of the biggest hearts I’ve ever seen. He will help anyone and everyone, even if that means he kills himself in the process. Being a former Navy Seal, I can’t fathom what all this man has seen. But even with the weight of the past hanging on him, he always manages to have a soft, approachable demeanor to him. Today he sounds like…me.
Every care in the world besides Allie leaves my head and I kick off the statue, moving towards the car. Not many people are around, but I do not want to risk someone out for a walk hearing what I can only assume is going to be bad.
Before taking a seat inside the car, I glance back at the door. Pushing the seat backward to accommodate my long legs compared to Allie’s much shorter ones, I sit down close the door and snag a peppermint from the cup holder.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
Lachlan clears his throat. “Heard you ran into Lainey.”
I’m shocked for a moment. I expected him to jump right into the problem. Scrubbing my hand down my face and flipping the mint to the other side of my mouth, “Uh. Yeah. Maggie tackled me to the ground,” I say with a hint of laughter in my voice.
“Yeah. She said you were with some girl named Allie. Isn’t that Logan’s friend?” His voice is still void of emotion and it is leaving me on edge. What the fuck is he getting at?
“Yes.” I can’t help the anger that slips in. Why the hell is he questioning me like a goddamn captor?
“Well, be careful. Lainey said she looked terrified. We have no idea what that psycho did to her. You need to be sure you get her the proper care and help she deserves. She probably doesn’t want to see Logan, so that is out of the question, but professional help is definitely a need. I understand your need to help, but that girl probably needs more assistance than you can give her. If everywhere is full down there, there are spots open up here, just send me what assistance she will need and I will arrange it.”
Anger rises and I feel the fire starting to race through me, but I take a deep breath and rid my voice completely full of emotion. “You have no idea what you’re talking about, Lachlan. I am perfectly capable of taking care of her myself. Respectfully, Allie is none of your business, so I suggest you not question me regarding her ever again.”
My words are full of venom, and I don’t care. Allie needs to stay here. I am the only person she trusts. I may not be able to help myself, but I know one thing for certain, I can take care of her.
My eyes lock back on the door and I beg Allie not to come out. She does not need to see me seething and close to giving Lachlan my rage in full force. He doesn’t deserve it because I know he probably believes he’s doing what is best, but he knows nothing about her. I do. And I refuse to let anyone think otherwise.
Rustling on the other end of the phone draws my attention back to the present, Lachlan’s voice following. “I understand. My apologies for offering my help.” His voice is cold.
A blistering headache hits me out of nowhere, and I know now more than ever that I need to get off the phone so I can calm myself before Allie is done. She needs a calm presence and I am the furthest from that right now.
“Is there anything else you need? Or did you just call me about Allie?” I ask, my tone even and calm.
“Yes. Addison isn’t doing well and I need extra eyes on her while Miles is off on a competition. I would do it, but there was a ping in the system for a missing person up in Alberta. Her parents suspect foul play from one of her friends. It is a serious case. No one has seen the girl in a few months and the law, of course, won’t do anything due to her being an adult. So her parents are asking for assistance via Resilience.”
He takes a moment to clear his throat and now, as the weight of what is pulling him down hits me, I feel like a total ass for snapping at him.
“Fuck. Lach. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t—”
“Stop. Don’t. We all have our own shit. I didn’t mean to doubt your abilities, Lan. You are great at what you do. I’m just surprised you are…on the front lines with this girl. Gray is usually the man for that…shit. Do you ever feel like what we do is so hard to put into words? You don’t even know how to explain it to yourself?”
A laugh escapes me, my anger subsides, and I sink back into the seat, my eyes still locked on the door. “Every. Fucking. Day.” Lachlan’s small laugh echos mine and I continue. “But it’s all good. Honestly, it’s been hell here, but we are getting by. When did the ping come in to Resilience?”
“A few hours ago.”
I nod, as if he can see me and scrub my hand down my face. “I haven’t looked at my phone in a while. Allie had a medical emergency and my focus has been on her. She’s okay, but the situation needed my full attention. What is going on with Addy?”
“She isn’t doing well since the kidnapping. I think she is going through withdrawal, but refuses any help. I feel like I am seconds from losing her. And I cannot let that happen. We lose so many every day, I cannot let it happen to my own blood.”
His reasoning hits me like a ton of bricks. He is fighting to make sure his sister stays here after some bastard decided to take her life in his hands. And I’m sitting outside while Allie, a girl who is becoming something more than just a stranger, is fighting an invisible battle because of some asshole who had a god complex. Every day Lachlan and I have to watch the people we care deeply for suffer because grown men decide to throw a temper tantrum when women won’t give in to their fucked up mentalities.
Anger rises in my chest again and I push it down and pop another mint into my mouth while itching my arm.
“I’m sorry Lach. I wish I knew what to say to help Addy, but you know how this goes. There are no right words, just time. Only thing you can do is support and keep an eye on her.”
I hear him groan in frustration. “Yeah. I know. I just hate seeing her this way. I wish our parents weren’t such fuck ups and could help with her. With Miles in New York at a fight, Lainey in Cliff Haven, and me now needing to get to Alberta, I have no idea what the hell to do. Carter is out of commission and Bryce is off the grid. So I hate to ask because I know you have your hands full with your family and now Allie, but can you come up here? I’m desperate man and have no clue what to fucking do.”
Shit. What the hell do I do? I can’t leave Allie, but I can’t leave him alone. He has taken his sector of Resilience and a lot of mine while I have been helping Allie. I can’t exactly turn him away, but I can’t leave her.
Yes, you can. You aren’t good for her.
Just as I’m about to answer, the doctor comes out the front door, locks eyes with me, and waves me inside.
“I have to go, Lach. I will let you know as soon as I can. I’m sorry.” I don’t wait for him to reply and run inside, my feet skidding on the ice.
Inside the office smells of sterile cleaning supplies and the bright lights cause me to squint.
Doc is waiting for me in the waiting room and moves to stand at a large wooden door. “Come on back Landon. I need to discuss a few things with you and Miss Evans.”
I nod and stuff my hands into my pockets while stepping through the door. The doctor points towards one of the three exam rooms and tells me he has to grab something but to go ahead.
The second I see Allie, my body tenses. She is sitting up in an exam chair, a blanket tucked around her, and her hand sitting in her lap is covered in a bandage.
A clear line leads to her arm tucked under the blanket and when her light blues meet mine, I see the exhaustion and defeat in them. I rush to her side and sit in the chair next to her, my hand going to her bandaged one and my finger brushes her exposed pinky. Her hair is in a wild bun at the top of her head and a rogue hair hangs down in her face.
Without thinking, I brush the wavey hair behind her ear and search her eyes for a hint at what is going on inside her mind. We stay like this for a moment and she shakes her head as her eyes start to water.
An overwhelming urge hits me out of nowhere and all I want to do is hold her and tell her it’s all going to be okay. And when a tear escapes, I wipe it away and flash her a small smile. She returns it and I give a reassuring nod. Because sometimes words aren’t necessary and silence amongst the chaos is all you need to convey you are here for someone in a time of need.
A knock on the door causes both of our heads to turn towards the doctor. He comes in holding a few bottles of medication and a stack of papers. He makes his way to a stool on the other side of Allie and sits down.
“So. Miss Evans here is just finishing up a round of fluids. She was a bit dehydrated, so I gave her some electrolytes. I also gave her a good dose of pain medication to help with the pain and get her through the stitches. That knife did a number on her hand and I placed about twenty stitches in her hand.”
Jeez. My head swivels to Allie and I raise my eyebrows. She shrugs and we both return our attention to the doctor.
“My reaction as well. She will need to come back in a few days to get them checked for infection and then to get them taken out. My concern isn’t so much the hand. She suffered a significant amount of blood loss. Now it’s not enough for a transfusion or we would be on our way to MRMC, but I am still concerned.”
He pauses and I try to process everything he is saying. He waits for me to nod before continuing.
“So that brings me to the reason I brought you in here. Miss Evans here tells me she is new to town and doesn’t know many people. And while that would be fine, I don’t like the idea of her being alone in case she were to take a turn. Her body is a little weaker at the moment due to blood loss, and that can cause several things. A higher risk of dizzy spells, infection, and few other things.
“Now, Landon, I have known you and your family for years. And with you being here right now, I trust that despite Miss Evans insistence that she can take care of herself, that you will keep an eye on her. And I don’t mean once a day check ins, I mean all day. I would like her under twenty-four-hour supervision for the day or two if possible. If nothing happens, great. But with the winter storm coming in the next few days, the roads to MRMC may be impassible. So I would like someone with her monitoring her closely and having her come in the moment something looks off. My fear is if we catch something too late, it may be out of my hands and I’d hate for her to be stuck out here waiting for a helicopter or an ambulance to maneuver their way out here.”
To say I’m shocked is an understatement. I knew Allie was in rough shape, but I never imagined the doctor planning on her having constant supervision. I turn my attention to Allie and search her eyes for a hint of what to do.
She casts her eyes down to her hand then back up to me. Her eyes plead with exhaustion and wanting to get the hell out of here.
That gives me the answer I need and I turn my focus back to the doctor. “I’ll watch her. Just give me a written list of medications and things I need to do.” My voice is almost robotic and stern.
The doctor looks between Allie and I and nods. He jumps into an explanation and I try my best to listen, but one thing rings in my head.
Maybe Lachlan was right. What if I’m not the right person she needs? She needs someone stable and able to take care of her. And I am not that guy. I wish I was. I desperately want to be and hate the idea of anyone else trying to understand her needs because of the time it took to get her to trust me. But one thing still rings true. How can I help her when I can barely fight my own demons?