Chapter 17 #2
“I love you,” I murmur against her lips, and she stops kissing me and looks at me like she doesn’t trust my words.
“I do. I only love you. But we’ll talk about this later.” Before she can say anything, I spin away from her but keep my one arm around her waist, and we tread through the snow.
I faintly see the ice rink up ahead, but the snow is thick, so I’m not positive. I point. “Is that it?”
“Yes,” she says.
“Are you a good skater?”
She laughs. “Decent. I wouldn’t say good. Probably better than you, based on what you told me.”
“That I will fall and may end up having Dr. Sear operating on me?”
Her laughter rings through the air, and my heart swells. “Let’s hope that doesn’t happen. I think brain surgery should be enough for one year.”
“And I even have the scar to prove it.”
“Okay. Well, I’m anxious to see your skating skills.”
We get to the area where you rent skates, and I pay for two pairs. Charlotte and I sit down on a bench to put our skates on. She laces hers and gracefully stands. I put mine on, stand, and almost fall. I grab her, and she laughs. “I told you I suck at this, right?”
She bites her lip. “You going to be able to do this?”
I will probably fall on my ass fifty times and break every bone in my body, but if you want to skate, then I’ll break all my bones for you.
“Yep. Let’s go.” I grab her hand, and after a few steps, I seem to get the hang of balancing on the blade.
But then we hit the ice. As soon as I step onto the slippery rink, I go flying on my belly.
“Shit,” I say.
Charlotte skates around me and crouches down. “Xander, you okay?”
“Yep. Good thing I don’t have any ego around my skating skills, or I’d be crushed right now.”
Charlotte throws her head back and laughs.
I’ll fall all night if I get to see that.
She grabs my hand and attempts to help me up, but I’m a lot bigger than her, and I end up pulling her down on top of me.
“I’m sorry!”
She laughs more.
I’m sprawled across the ice, and Charlotte is on top of me. I kiss her, as people skate all around us.
The ice may be freezing, but Charlotte stokes a fire within me, and I’m once again unaware of anything besides her. I harden against her and pull her as close to me as possible.
She pulls back and murmurs, “I’d better get off you before the kids have nightmares.”
I give her another peck. “Okay, let’s attempt this.”
She gracefully bounces up, and I fumble but finally stand.
Once I take a few glides, I lose my balance but catch it then get the hang of it.
I’m not graceful like Charlotte, but I am making progress.
“You’ve got it now,” Charlotte praises as she continues to skate around me.
“Why do I feel you’re holding back?”
She grins and shrugs.
“Show me what you would do if you weren’t babysitting me.”
“Babysitting you?”
“Yeah. Go on. Show me your skills.”
“My skills?”
“Yes. I want to see your skills. Go.”
“All right.”
She takes off and skates several dozen feet then jumps, lands, and spins around like a professional skater.
You’ve got to be shitting me.
When she stops spinning, she skates back to me.
“That was incredible! Where did you learn to do that?”
She winks at me. “I could tell you, but I’d have to kill you.”
“Seriously, where did you learn that?”
“I took lessons when I got my first real job.”
“You skate like a pro,” I gush at her.
She laughs. “Let’s not go overboard.”
“I’m not! That was awesome.” I’m not just telling her that. It was impressive.
She takes my hand, and we skate together. After a few hours, we decide to turn our skates back in.
The snow is still falling, and it seems to have gotten heavier. “Hot chocolate?” I ask her.
“Sure. There’s a cafe across the street if you want to get out of the cold?”
“Yes. That sounds great.”
At the coffee shop, I tell her to grab a table while I order the hot chocolate and bring it over to her. I sit down. “That was fun.”
Charlotte’s eyes crinkle as she smiles. “You’re a good sport.”
“Hey, I only fell once. I consider that success.”
“You did good.” She takes a sip of hot chocolate.
We are sitting by the window, and the snow is coming down even harder. “Are we supposed to get a blizzard tonight?”
“Not sure.”
“So, what are you doing until Monday?”
She blows on the drink and takes another sip, whipped cream decorating her upper lip. When the tip of her tongue emerges to swipe it off, I almost lose my shit. She can’t know how sexy she is.
“I don’t know. I wasn’t planning on having all this time off.”
“Me, either. What is there to do in Chicago in a blizzard?”
She waves around us. “Stay inside.”
“Well, that will be boring in my hotel room.”
She looks like she wants to say something but stops.
“What?”
She quietly says, “Nothing.”
The atmosphere has shifted a bit, and I’m not sure why.
“I saw Vivian today.” I wonder if Vivian called Charlotte the minute I left her.
Charlotte blinks at me, surprised. “Why?”
“I checked out some apartments.”
A brief look of sadness passes her face, but as quickly as it comes it goes. “Did you find one?”
“No. I kept thinking you were supposed to be there with me.”
Charlotte turns and looks out the window.
I stroke her hand, and she sighs and faces me. “I’m sorry I’ve hurt you.”
“I know you are. I’m sorry I kicked you out of the car. Not my best moment.”
“It’s okay.”
“And my house at two thirty in the morning.” She nervously gazes at me.
I squeeze her hand. “Charlotte, it’s okay.”
She looks out the window again and shifts on her seat. I move my chair over next to her and I put my arm around her.
“Don’t feel guilty about any of that. Give me one more chance to show you I love you.”
“You love me?” She bites down on her lip.
“Yeah. Only you. And I don’t want you to say it back until you believe me. Let me show you.”
“You don’t love Billie anymore?”
“No.”
“Do you remember falling out of love with her now?”
“No.”
She inhales sharply and bites down on her lip.
My heart rips open again. Charlotte is still hurting and doesn’t believe me. I pull her chin to my face and look in her eyes. “It doesn’t matter. You’re my future. I only want you.”
Moments pass, and my heart is beating so loud I’m sure the entire restaurant can hear it.
“I want to believe you, Xander. I do. But I feel like I’m on this roller coaster, and I can’t get off.”
There’s so much pain in her eyes, and I know I’ve caused it. I’m on the roller coaster, too, and it sucks. I press my forehead to hers and search her blue eyes for any remaining hope she might have for us. “Let’s get off it together.”