Chapter 19 Ivan
IVAN
Watching Raisa lead Lev back to their guest room at the end of the night wasn’t easy. After spending so much time with my son, I was reluctant to ever see them go.
In a perfect world, Raisa and I should be taking Lev home. As a family. A cohesive unit of three people who belonged together.
But this wasn’t a perfect world. Every day felt like another drag of a waiting game.
Emil and Alexsei joined me for a late-night drink to hear me out about it, too.
“I don’t understand why it’s taking so long to check what she told us,” I admitted, sipping my drink.
“She was gone for eight years and stayed under the radar,” Emil reminded me.
“True. But we have so many men on it.” I told Luka all that Raisa shared.
He hadn’t hesitated to direct men to investigate and make sure that she wasn’t lying.
Answers were slow to come in, though. On one hand, I didn’t care.
It was more downtime for me to be with Lev and get to know the smart, funny boy.
It was more of an opportunity for Raisa to relax and not fear for her safety.
My uncle was reluctant to easily trust a Petrov in the house, but he wasn’t kicking her out.
It was a tentative situation to get answers.
So far, we’d tracked her previous places of employment over the years.
She’d sat down with a couple of spies and told them where to look to prove she had been where she claimed to be.
It wasn’t a matter of retracing all that she’d been up to over the years.
It was a matter of figuring out if any rivals or enemies were setting her up to be here.
She swore that she’d cut ties with the Mafia world, with any organized crime family. But we had to check and make sure.
Emil shrugged. “The fact of the matter is that some men in the family are skeptical of Raisa just showing up like she had.”
“But we did find some evidence in that house outside Paris,” Alexsei said.
Emil nodded. “We did. The crew we sent there did find evidence of a fight.”
I scowled. “But no bodies.”
“Too bad her new neighbors moved out so quickly. They could’ve been witnesses or seen something,” Alexsei said.
“And I won’t lie, it’s not a surprise that some of the men in the family are worried she’s a spy sent here from the Italians.
” He held his hands up in a truce-like manner when I opened my mouth to protest that.
“I’m not saying I believe that. But so far as I can follow, the Riveras have made no claim that they sent anyone after her.
The way they act, they never even knew about her or Lev. ”
I shook my head, pissed that anyone could want to accuse Raisa of lying about the Italians attacking her.
“You have to admit it’s suspicious,” Emil said. “She claims to be lying low and hiding, not wanting anything to do with any of us for years. Then all of a sudden, she has a change of heart?”
“She didn’t have a change of heart. Someone got too close for comfort. She came here to get help from me—from our family—because she worried Lev could be hurt.”
Alexsei nodded. “And I don’t blame her for that. She’s a protective mother from what I’ve seen. But still, there are answers to be found yet.”
I knew that, but it didn’t mean I had to like it. I didn’t want anyone in the Dubinin organization to see her as the enemy. She was the mother of my child. That inherently had to make her okay.
“A spy for the Italians…” I shook my head, annoyed at the ludicrous thought.
“And some are just concerned that Lev could be seen as a Dubinin heir.” Emil cringed. “Because he’s a bastard child and all…”
“No one is going to tell me that my son isn’t an heir just because he was born out of fucking wedlock.”
Emil grinned. “Too bad I hadn’t officiated a real ceremony that night.”
I shot him a beady stare.
“I think what he’s trying to say,” Alexsei remarked with a smirk for our cousin, “is that it’s implied Konstantin wouldn’t have ever been okay with Lev being a Dubinin heir. He wouldn’t have approved of you and Raisa being together at all.”
No shit.
“I also overheard from a few supervisors that there is more talk among the men about whether Raisa’s being here and being under our protection will spark more tension from those who were always the most upset about the feuds between the Petrov and Dubinin lines.
No one wants that old bullshit to resurface. ”
Petty fights from long ago were better left alone. Emotions could twist even the most straight-laced and common-sense soldier.
“I can’t see how that’s even a concern anymore.” I didn’t want to be overly dismissive. Having that kind of a relaxed attitude could be stupid. “Konstantin was believed to have been found dead years ago.”
“After a fight with the Cartel, right?” Alexsei asked.
“Yes. And my father and I have a few spies working on finalizing whether Konstantin is dead or alive.”
“If anyone were to ask me, Luka’s never given a shit one way or another. He’s just been happy and relieved that he doesn’t have to deal with him.”
Neither of them argued with me about that.
“Have you asked her about her father?” Emil asked.
I rolled my eyes. “Of course, I have.”
“Oh.” Emil almost smiled, like he was amused. “Hard to tell if you’ve ‘talked’ with her at all or if you’ve just been making up for lost time in the bedroom.”
I stared him down, daring him to smile and joke about this.
“Since you’ve seemed so much happier lately…”
I punched him. “Shut up.”
“He’s happy because he’s getting to know his son,” Alexsei said, backing me up against Emil’s teasing nature.
“She’s not…” I stood, hating to have to explain. “She still hasn’t forgiven me for the way I left her.”
“Ah…” Emil sipped his drink. “Well, then you'd best get started on groveling, huh?”
“Hey, she’s the one who hid my son from me.”
He tilted his head from side to side. “You’re both in the wrong then. Go on. Go make up and figure out if her father is still alive and a threat.”
I turned away from them, wanting to talk to her about anything, really. But when I checked in her room and saw both her and Lev fast asleep in the big bed, I wished I could do nothing more than slip in with them and be a real family.
Instead, I dragged myself to my room, determined to take this slowly and not scare off Raisa. The last thing I needed to do was let her think she could run away and avoid me again.
In the morning, while Lev was eating breakfast with Gabriella and baby Andre, who easily entertained my son with lots of laughter, I urged Raisa aside.
“What is it?” She raised her brows at me. “I signed the papers for Lev to start that tutoring program, if that’s what you’re asking me about.”
“No. No.” I stuck my hands in my pockets. “I just wanted to ask again if there is anything you can remember about your father. About his death.” If he’s dead or alive.
“No.” She donned an impatient smirk as she looked out the window instead of maintaining eye contact with me. “I have been under the assumption, like others, that he was killed. Word spreads, but I know it can just be rumors, too.”
“You never reached out or anything? You never contacted anyone from your family to know if he was alive?”
She hesitated for just a second. “No, Ivan. For my own safety, for Lev’s safety, I never wanted to initiate a line of contact with anyone from the Petrov outfit.
I couldn’t dare to risk being tracked or traced like that.
I never wanted to investigate anything of that former life.
I left it all behind and only wanted the peace to raise my son the best I could. ”
Our son.
He’s our son, Raisa. Not just yours.
If she was feeling clingy, fine. But she had to remember I was in the picture now. Lev deserved both of his parents, because I wanted to be present as much as she did.
“Why didn’t you ever look for me after the word spread that he was dead?”
I stared at her with that direct question she’d asked of me.
“After rumors spread that he had been killed, why did you still stay away from me?”
She’d hate it if I pointed out how vulnerable she sounded to ask me such a thing. I could only be honest with my reply and hope she didn’t assume I was lying.
“Because I believed it was safest to stay away from you. In case he was still alive. To avoid your being caught in the crossfire of the very family politics that caused us to split in the first place.”
She furrowed her brow, watching me. “Hmm.”
“What?” I asked, intrigued with how long she’d stay this hostile. I knew better than to push things too fast. I’d give her space and time and not make things more complicated with sex. But dammit, she was stubborn.
“How’s it any different now?” she asked. “These family politics are still in the way. Can you look me in the eye right now and tell me that if Luka determined me untrustworthy, you’d insist that I stay?”
Of course. Of course, you would stay with me. Yet, I knew that if I answered her, she’d twist my words somehow.
“I can’t comment on that matter. It’s an ongoing investigation, Raisa. We have many men and spies looking into all that you’ve told me so far. We have men looking for evidence of whether your father is alive or dead, if he’s hiding somewhere and remains a threat, especially with Lev in our lives.”
She rolled her eyes. “Sure, sure. Like always. Family over love. What Luka wants is priority.”
“Hey.” I frowned at her, not liking her tone.
“That isn’t true and you know it. You and Lev are family, whether anyone else wants to admit it or not.
I do. I can admit that you are the mother of my son.
And the biggest difference right now is that you are with me, here”—I stepped closer and dared her to protest, wishing I could hug her instead of getting stern with her—“and I’m not in any rush to see you or Lev go anywhere far. ”
I’d prefer it if they never strayed out of sight. Because in these slow couple of weeks of letting them adjust to being within my orbit while the umbrella of Dubinin security sheltered them, I’d come closer to realizing they were my destiny.
My family.
One I’d fight for no matter who wanted to challenge me from either side of the old rivalry.