Chapter 5
S ince waking from a dead sleep, I kept tossing and turning.
The large round clock over the fireplace told me it hadn’t even been two hours since I’d first lain down.
Wind rattled the window near the front door.
I couldn’t stop thinking about what Alex had said; Stools had been low-key since retiring from the force, but he’d reached out to someone who may know where he could be found.
I tucked the blanket under my chin, shivering. My brain had reached an unlimited exhaustion level. Now that I remembered everything, I couldn’t stop dwelling.
It was a blessing I’d forgotten who I was while in prison; the tearful, crying girl I’d been wouldn’t have survived. Not having my memories allowed me to endure the event—a bullshit silver lining.
I could pinpoint the differences in pain when he’d been touching other women, but there was a second pain.
Less frequent and much more difficult to get through.
Now I knew what that meant. I was an Alpha’s mate, which came with a few special aspects that were attached to that.
The main one was Heat Seasons. All Alphas’ mates suffered a heat.
Maybe it was because the Moon knew Alphas could be such fucking assholes, so they needed to put in a fail-safe that made females so horny, they sought out their mates.
I squeezed the blanket tight to me.
Well, I’d survived multiple heats already; I’d survive them all. They started as a dull throb that made me want to touch myself and morphed into excruciating pain when it wasn’t satiated.
I’d gone through heats alone. There was once where Tate asked me if I had a fated mate on the outside, and I’d responded ‘no’ with such conviction. Each time I felt it coming, I started a fight so I could be thrown into confinement. At least then, I could writhe in pain alone.
Bitterness coated my tongue.
What utter bullshit my life had been?—
The door jiggled, and I shot upright so fast the blanket pooled around my waist. My instinct to run in the other direction battled with my fight response.
I exhaled slowly and tossed my legs over the couch to stand.
The dark blue blanket pooled at my bare feet.
I licked my lips nervously, eyes fastened on the door.
It jiggled again, and a growl echoed from the other side of the door.
A very familiar growl . The wood around the doorknob splintered, and he flung the door open.
Lucian stepped in, naked and sneering. His eyes immediately pinned me.
I sucked in a breath, all of my body clenching.
“You’re wearing another male’s clothes?” he snarled, charging at me at full-force.
I lunged to the side, and his fingers grazed the shirt Alex had let me borrow.
I screamed, hopping to put the couch between us.
His fingertips grazed my arm, and I yanked away so fast. I gripped the back of the couch, staring at him standing on the other side.
His shoulders jerked, his mouth curled in a sneer. He was furious.
“Lucian,” Alex shouted from the entrance of the hall. Lucian growled.
“Not a good time, Alex,” I croaked. Lucian narrowed his eyes on his brother, and I could see his intention to lunge for him. I intercepted his charge. My hands slapped on a muscled chest, and I pushed at Lucian. A smidge of reason invaded his eyes as he settled them on me.
He grabbed my nape in a strong grip and refocused on Alex, his eyes spitting rage. He’d gone too still. His intention to kill was clear in his eyes. Instead of fighting to get away, I pressed my hand against his abdomen.
“Joey—” Alex started.
Lucian bursting forward cut him off. I slid my arm around his waist and dropped my weight, doing my best to hold him back. It was clear Lucian was trying not to harm me because he could have easily shoved me off.
“Just go, Alex,” I shouted.
“Do not speak to him,” Lucian hissed. He looked demonic from how angry he was.
I kept his gaze in a clear challenge. His upper lip curled into a sneer.
“I’ll kill him.” His threat sliced through the silence. Footsteps sounded, and I turned to look, but Lucian growled, his grip on my neck stiffening.
He forced me closer until my chest smashed into his. The hold remained stiff yet not hard enough to hurt unless I fought to pull back. He leaned down, and his vanilla scent played along my senses. A shiver crested up my spine. I gritted my teeth and lifted my chin.
“Alex isn’t a threa?—”
He sneered and tossed me onto the couch. I landed on my side with a yelp. I didn’t have time to balance myself because he shoved me face down onto the cushion. Cold air brushed my ass, and then he ripped off my borrowed pants.
I gasped from the release of pressure on my sex. His hand returned to my nape, forcing my cheek against the couch. My arms stayed curled under me, trapped, and I helplessly writhed. The couch cushion dipped, and he spread my legs with his knees, baring me ass-up.
“The only name you say is Lucian,” he snarled, sliding his cock inside my core with a hard pump until he stuffed his knot into me.
I grunted from the force, my sex clamping around his girth.
I screamed, my body accepting the familiar cock.
He ground his pelvis against my ass, his balls tapping against my thighs.
Slick dripped down my inner thighs, and as much as I wanted his body, I held myself still, panting.
It took everything in me not to move toward the pressure inside my channel.
Lucian heaved raggedly, his muscled arms flexing as they braced him over me.
“Where have you been?” he snarled. “Who did you touch?”
“Who did I fuck, you mean?” I spat.
Lucian stilled, and since his body was against mine, it felt like he’d shatter.
A growl rumbled from his chest: deep, resonating, harsh.
He pulled his hips back, causing liquid to slick my inner thighs.
He slammed inside me again. I tried to hold back my whine, biting my lower lip hard and squeezing my hands into fists.
His pace picked up, and with each hard shove, I jolted into the couch.
I couldn’t stop grunting from the power of his thrusts. He commanded me so easily, made me into a bundle of bliss without trying, but I did. Not. Move.
I hated how much I loved his fucking. Keeping my groans and gasps in check was hard.
“Moan for me, Princess,” he ordered, gutturally. His hands on my hips tightened, and he picked me up by my waist until my weight fell on my forearms. The angle touched something deep inside me—the secondary nerves.
That, combined with the pop and release of his knot entering and leaving my core, I couldn’t stop the orgasm. It rippled through my limbs, and I screamed. My thighs spasmed. Lucian groaned, picking up his pace.
“Good, Josephine,” he praised, and my channel clamped around his cock again. He gasped, his pace halting. “Fuck, mate. Your pussy grips onto me so deliciously.” As if to reinforce his claim, my channel squeezed him again. The release tapered down, allowing me to breathe.
Panting, I thumped my forehead against the couch. He didn’t stop his pace, his cock sliding in and out of me, eliciting more and more shivers from my channel.
His palm slid across my ass, and he squeezed my flesh in his large palm. “Beautiful.”
I couldn’t stop shaking. He slowly pulled out of me, and his knot leaving released a wave of moisture.
Lucian rolled me to my back and organized my legs around his waist, my sex parted for him.
He reached down and slid two fingers across my sensitive, twitching thighs, the moisture glinting on his fingertips. He popped them into his mouth.
“You’re delicious.”
He climbed up my body until his face hovered over mine. I was so limp I could only watch him. His lips touched mine. The soft press so gentle it made my stomach flutter.
How dare he come at me like this? He fucked me without reservation, anger guiding his movements. If he thought he could do what he wished with me, he had another thing coming.
Using every bit of strength I could muster, I tossed my leg around his waist and pushed up, forcing him to roll off the couch and thud onto the carpet. I landed on top of him, his cock jutting up a few inches from where I rested on his thighs. I clasped the wet thickness and pushed onto my knees.
With my eyes on his, I slowly sank down on his length. Every inch down—I felt the glide of his throbbing, ready-to-burst cock. Once I took most of him, I hovered over his base, not taking his knot yet.
His lips were parted, and he watched me with feverish eyes. He looked so needy, it made my sex clasp him. He grunted and his neck strained.
“Josephine,” he murmured, his trembling hand lifted to my cheek, cupping it so lovingly it made my heart stutter. I gritted my teeth, fighting my desires and cravings. “Please tell me it isn’t true. Please tell me you didn’t fuck anyone.”
I sucked in a breath. The pain in his eyes was a visceral ache in my chest.
I’d never really understood the saying that the heart and mind could conflict so viscerally until this moment.
All I could focus on was how she’d looked staring up at him in his office. The same office he’d fucked me in.
How many times had they screwed in there?
I gritted my teeth. They’d been close. Was it possible he was hiding her? That he harbored that bitch? That he might know where she was?
“Please, answer me,” he croaked.
I gritted my teeth, his beseeching eyes undoing me.
“No,” I spat and pursed my lips to stop their tremble. It wasn’t a lie, but I also wouldn’t tell him I’d kissed his brother. It would be a death sentence for Alex.
He expelled a hard breath, body shuddering. The knot in my throat throbbed.
Instead of shoving away from him, I softened. He groaned, his hips pumping to bounce me. Now that I wasn’t fighting against the pleasure, I rolled my hips, taking his thrusts.