Chapter 12 Zack #2
“It’s only wrong because you told yourself it is,” he sighs after a few seconds, searching my stare before finally releasing my shirt, but not stepping away.
“She’s not your blood, you’re both consenting adults.
Is it a little weird? Maybe. But it’s not the end of the world.
So you fucked her,” he shrugs, as if the fact doesn’t bother him the same way it does me.
“Probably even enjoyed it,” he adds, staring at me intensely, looking like he wishes he could read my mind.
“No doubt she did from how happy she looked yesterday.” I remain silent as he talks, not wanting to even fucking breathe, especially when he presses even closer to me.
“She isn’t moping around about the hot sex you both had, so why are you?
” Again I can feel his hot breath against my lips, and it stirs something inside of me, something almost as dark and forbidden as what I have already done.
His stare searches mine, and the only thing I can think to force out is, “I’m her brother.”
At that Max smirks. “When you’re done shining that moral compass, let me know,” he scoffs, letting his eyes trail over me, before he shakes his head and takes a step back. “If you don’t fix this, I’ll make you regret it,” he adds, before walking away without another word.
Everything he said is true, but what has me reeling is the fact my cock is now fully hard and leaking.
What the fuck?
The door whips open behind me before I can assess what the hell is wrong with me, and I startle a little, turning to come face to face with my sister.
“Is there something I need to know?” Elle asks, searching my stare, and I shake my head a little more than necessary, praying she doesn’t look any deeper than she already is.
“No, sweetheart, everything is fine,” I say, clearing my throat, and she glares at me, not believing a word of what I’m saying.
A fact only proven when she asks, “How’s Lily?”
I blink a little at her question, before forcing myself to respond. “She’s fine, a little sensitive with the anniversary, but that’s to be expected.” I can see the pain in her stare as she nods at my assessment, and I pray she doesn’t see the deception in my eyes.
“Do you think she will come with us to the Hamptons next month?” she questions, absent-mindedly cradling her stomach, and the guilt eats away at me.
“I honestly don’t know, but I’ll try my best,” I choke out with a smile, hating how I might have made things worse for everyone.
Elle only nods, turning to head back into the gym, before she pauses, turning slightly. “We’ve let her drown long enough, Zack, it’s time to pull her back in.” That’s all she says before she disappears back to her workout, and I hear it for what it is.
It wasn’t a suggestion, it was a demand, and I know she’s right.
We all did what we thought was best and let Lily feel her grief as much as she needed, but none of us imagined it would go on for this long.
Now I’m not saying there is a time limit on grief, there isn’t, it will always be there, like a shadow waiting to consume you, and sometimes you let it, but most of the time you shove it behind you and go about your day. It’s high time my sister did the same.
Heading upstairs I take a quick shower and get changed, and when I make it back downstairs I find Ash, Linc, and Cassie all sitting in the living room playing on the floor.
I desperately want to avoid them, I already feel bad enough, I don’t need to add their grief to the mix, but Cassie spots me instantly.
“Uncle, Z!” she screams, pushing away from the train set the guys have set up for her and rushing toward me, and I have no choice but to reach out and catch her when she jumps up into my arms.
I hold her close, the memory of the night she was taken from me forever imprinted in my brain, and inhale her sweet scent. “How’s my favorite niece?” I ask, pulling back and tickling her side until she giggles.
“I’m playing princess trains with Daddy and Superman,” she tells me, wiggling in my hold as her laughs surround us, and I sigh, letting myself breathe it in.
“Trains huh? I didn’t know you had a train set?” I tell her, looking at the unfamiliar toy, and her smile beams even wider.
“Daddy just bought it for me and it’s not even a special day, how awesome is that,” she squeals, pushing down from my hold and rushing back toward her new toy.
“Of course he did,” I drawl, cocking my brows at Asher, but all he does is shrug.
My little brother has more money than God, and spends it all on making sure his daughter has the kind of childhood he never did.
He’s the best father I could have ever wanted for my niece, and it warms my heart to see him with not just her, but Lincoln too.
They both suffered horrific upbringings, so seeing them sit here now, happily playing with Cassie, when I know such darkness lives inside of them, is something I will always admire.
“Do you want to play with us?” she asks sweetly.
“I would love to, sweetheart, but I have to go and check on aunt Lily,” I explain, and she nods in understanding.
It doesn’t matter that she’s only a kid, she didn’t escape the hole left by Logan’s death, an absence made ever wider by Lily’s avoidance.
Sadness washes over her, and I don’t dare look at Asher or Lincoln.
There are a lot of things I can handle about my brother’s murder, but seeing the weight of it on their shoulders isn’t one of them.
He was their light, their goodness, their reason for even finding love with one another, and if it weren’t for the little girl sitting between them, I’m not sure they would have ever survived his death.
“Can you tell aunt Lily that I miss her,” Cassie replies innocently, not realizing the knife she just lodged in my gut, and I nod, swallowing thickly.
“Sure I can, princess.” I finally let my gaze move to the guys, finding equal looks of grief and regret, and I open my mouth to try and offer some words of comfort, not that any would help, but a little fireball beats me to it.
“Cass!” Cash screams, barreling into the room holding an orange stuffy that’s almost as big as him.
“For fucks sake,” Asher mutters, making Lincoln smirk, but it doesn’t matter, the little girl’s eyes are already wide with joy.
“Oh my gosh!” she squeals, jumping to her feet and rushing to greet the little boy, just as Riley appears on the threshold, looking as if Cash ran away from her.
“I told you to wait for me, bud,” she gently scolds, but Cash is too focused on Cassie to take any notice.
“This is for you,” he tells her, shoving the giant teddy into her arms. “Riley said it’s to say sorry for cutting off all the heads of the others,” he adds meekly, looking anything but sorry, and Lincoln snorts a laugh, just as Cash notices the train set. “Oh, can I play?”
“No,” Asher responds instantly, glaring at the kid like he’s thought about his murder in multiple ways, and Lincoln smacks him in the stomach.
“Daddy don’t be silly, of course he can play,” Cassie replies excitedly, none the wiser to her dad’s death stares, as she sets the stuffy down and grabs Cash’s hand.
The two of them have really struck up a friendship in the last few months, much to Asher’s dismay, but Cash’s therapist said her presence is really positive on him. Barring all the decapitated stuffed animals, of course.
“Where’s Jace?” Riley asks with a soft smile, and I gesture toward the back stairs.
“Still in the gym with Elle last time I checked,” I tell her and she nods gracefully, before focusing on the guys.
“Can I trust him here?” she adds in question, and I note she is only focusing on Asher, who is still glaring at her foster son like he is the Devil himself.
“No,” he snaps at the same time Lincoln says, “Yes.” Asher looks at him with nothing but betrayal, then grumbles something about him not getting any tonight.
Riley rolls her eyes before she departs, and I use that as an excuse to leave myself.
“I’m heading back to the city,” I tell them, and Lincoln nods, as Ash goes back to watching Cash.
“You know we don’t hurt kids, right?” I call over my shoulder as I leave, and I don’t miss my brother’s middle finger hurled in my direction.
I laugh as I make it back out to my car, before climbing behind the wheel and taking a deep breath.
Time to face my actions.