Chapter 44
"W e should plan a trip together!"
Drew and I shared a look of amusement, his lips twitching with contained laughter. Nellie had gone from hating Drew's guts to fully embracing him back into the group's fold. I knew she’d softened her stance toward him, but even I was surprised by how excited she became when I told her Drew and I were starting to tentatively date again. Although, Drew did say that she’d made a few threats towards his private parts before she patted him on the back and advised him not to fuck up this time.
Things were moving slowly between Drew and I—something I insisted on and Drew had no trouble respecting my pace. It was a bit awkward at times trying to navigate this new pivot in our relationship, but it was a relief to have our group's rapport back. It was nice being back as a foursome again.
I was back in St Louis for the night, enjoying an intimate dinner party at Sene's apartment. I couldn't remember the last time we'd all been together. Even when Drew and I were married married, we hadn't had time to meet up for a casual dinner or drink during our last year together before we separated. I tried not to think about why. Drew and I were attempting to move forward. We still had shit to talk through, but it wasn’t doing me any good to keep rehashing the pain of our final months.
"I'm not leaving Alani that long," I told her, sipping my soda. I felt Drew's hand flex in support against my shoulder and relaxed.
Yes, I had attachment issues when it came to my daughter, but I made no apologies for it. Even now, I was enjoying myself immensely, but I still missed her. I thought about her all the time.
"So bring her," Nellie shrugged.
"Sure." That was something to earmark for the future. Not anytime soon.
Drew squeezed my shoulder again before leaning his dark head close to mine. "Alani doing okay?" he softly asked. He knew how anxious I got when I was away from her.
Drew's familiar and addictive scent soothed my senses. I never thought we would be close enough for me to breathe him in again. "Yeah. Dad said she's fast asleep. Finger's crossed she'll stay that way."
His eyes crinkled in the corners. "Good. I'm sure she's all tired out from the park."
I smiled in response, remembering the photos my dad had sent me earlier in the day. I'd shown Drew and he'd fawned over her little unicorn hair band. It still felt weird for me to have Drew be so taken with Alani. I loved it—it certainly made the decision to start dating Drew again easier. There was no way I would consider having him back in my life if I saw even a second of doubt. I knew he might be sad at times. I knew there would be times when he would have triggers. But I'd been around him with Alani long enough to know that if he did feel any type of way, he wouldn't let it show in front of Alani. It was something I hoped we could talk about soon. Even though Drew had fucked up, I wasn't completely insensitive to what he might be going through.
All those talks we had about his childhood and Carly made me understand a little of what had been going through his head at the time. It didn't excuse it, of course, but I appreciated his honesty and vulnerability. It made the trust a lot easier to build on.
With dinner and dessert finished, we sat in the lounge talking and laughing, an old movie playing on the TV as background noise. Drew’s hand moved to mine while we sat side by side on the couch. His touch was hesitant, as if he were bracing himself for my retreat. The gesture was casual and familiar, as if we were still a married couple and it was a give-in that he would be touching me.
My breath sucked in for a second before my hand relaxed in his—well, as much as I could relax with Nellie sending us knowing smirks. Tingles shot up my arm and stayed there. This was nice. It felt nice. Familiar, yet different and exciting. I wasn't ready to go any further with Drew; he knew that. But this, I didn't mind.
We stayed that way for the rest of the night, with our thighs touching and my hand tightly clasped in his. And when Drew started to rub small circles around my thumb, I didn’t even tense.
"I'll wait in the car for you," Nellie nudged me as she wobbled towards my car.
Sene had suddenly made himself scarce, tidying away stuff I knew he didn't need to. It felt like we were in high school, with our friends manipulating the scene so we were left alone.
A soft pink painted my cheeks when Drew tucked a hair behind my ear. His hand stroked down the side of my face. His expressive brown eyes were full of tenderness and love. "Drive safe," he murmured.
"Nell lives fifteen minutes away," I countered with a small smile.
He shrugged. "Still. I worry. I always worry about you." His fingers continued to caress my skin, his eyes eating up his movements. "It was one of the hardest things about being away from you. Worrying about you when I couldn't do anything about it."
My eyes softened, and I leaned my head into his touch. "Drew…"
He bent down and brushed his lips gently against mine. Once. Then twice. It was the first time he'd kissed me since that evening he’d met Alani for the first time. "Call me when you get to Nell's. I love you."
I drove back to Nellie's with a dreamy smile on my face. Luckily, my drunk friend had passed out next to me, so I didn't have to worry about an interrogation from her during the short drive. She woke up when I pulled into her driveway and promptly went straight to bed. I knew she’d badger me for details in the morning.
I washed my face and brushed my teeth and hair before braiding it for bed. I was on a high from tonight, and I knew falling asleep would take a while. It also felt weird crawling into bed without Alani's soft snuffles beside me.
Shit, Drew. I forgot to text him that I was home safe.
I went to my purse and grabbed my phone. Sure enough, Drew had already texted asking me if I was at Nellie's yet. But it wasn't his message that caught my attention. It was the one that had arrived ten minutes before his.
Carlos: Hi, Frankie. I'm sorry it's taken so long to reach out. Can we meet up to talk?