Chapter 25
I sat there for a while watching kids play in the park, then I found myself walking to the beach. My breath caught in my throat as I turned the corner and saw the sparkling blue ocean that almost ended my life.
I headed towards the hut, dodging round all the sunbathers and kids playing football. I could see Antoine talking to a group of kids, waving his arms about and pointing at the water. Like nothing had changed.
But everything had changed.
When I got close to them, I stayed out of the way, leaning against the surf hut in the shade under the overhanging roof, just watching.
And then he saw me. He looked over his sunglasses, then looked down the beach.
‘Sébastian!’ He called something to him in French and I watched Sébastian bound up the beach towards him.
It looked like he was complaining about something.
But then he saw me too and his face lit up with a smile.
Sébastian ran towards me, arms outstretched.
He pulled me into a hug and picked me up.
‘Margot!’ He squeezed me then put me down. ‘Sorry. Did I hurt you? I am so happy to see you.’
‘You too, Sébastian,’ I said.
‘Really? You are happy to see me?’ He put his hand on his bare chest and grinned.
‘Very happy,’ I said.
‘And now I am even more happy,’ he said, laughing.
‘Sébastian!’ Antoine called again.
‘J’arrive!’ Sébastian shouted back. Then he leaned in and kissed both my cheeks before walking towards Antoine and taking over his group of kids.
My stomach flipped when he walked towards me.
His chest was bare today and his board shorts hung low on his hips, showing even more of the deep V that outlined his abs.
He came right over and kissed each of my cheeks.
And although it sent fireworks through my veins, it felt weirdly formal.
He never greeted me like that. ‘We will go inside?’ he asked.
I followed him into his hut and sat down on the little sofa.
‘Would you like something? Water? Something to eat? Du chocolat?’ he asked, putting things away as he did.
‘No, I’m OK, thanks.’
‘Non,’ he replied. ‘You are not OK. That morning. It was intense. You must rest and take care of yourself.’ Antoine sat down beside me. He was so close that I could feel the heat from his body without actually touching it.
‘Two days ago. You scared me.’ He pushed his dark hair back.
‘I scared me too,’ I said.
‘But I can ask you a question?’ Antoine looked right into my eyes, the blue of his softened by the light inside.
‘Of course,’ I said.
‘Why did you surf alone? I told you not to surf alone. I tell you so much about the danger of the ocean, and it was like you did not listen to me at all.’ He turned away for a second, like he was too frustrated to even look at my face.
‘I thought I would be OK,’ I stammered, taken aback by his anger.
‘Margot. You almost drowned because you cannot follow a simple instruction.’ He stood up and paced around on the wooden floor in front of me. He picked up a tin of board wax and turned it over in his hand.
‘I’m fine!’ I said, realizing how blasé it sounded as soon as it came out of my mouth.
‘Non! You could have died! Do you understand? You could have died because you thought you knew better than years of experience.’ He threw the tin of board wax across the room, and we watched it bounce on the floor.
‘Why are you so angry? I thought you’d be happy that I’m OK!’ Now I was getting frustrated.
‘Why am I angry?’ Antoine threw his arms in the air and looked at me. ‘Because I am your instructor. I should have been there to protect you. And if some stranger had not been there to save you …’ His hand was in his hair again.
‘It wasn’t a stranger,’ I said. ‘His name is Felix. We’re … seeing each other.’
Antoine stopped pacing and stared at me, something turning in his head.
But he didn’t say anything, so I continued.
‘He works at the campsite Brasserie, and he hasn’t been in the water since his brother Gabriel died.
But he did go in. To save me. And that means …
I don’t know … everything?’ I could feel tears building again.
‘Stop,’ Antoine said, his tone replaced by something softer. More vulnerable. But I needed him to know what Felix did for me. People deserved to know.
‘Stop what? Telling you that someone else is the hero in this scenario?’
‘Margot, I said stop!’
His face went white. The fury still there, but it was mixed with something else. A raw kind of pain that exposed him. Exposed Antoine as being the same as everyone else. Not invincible after all.
He turned to look out the window, at the ocean that looked so beautiful and threatening at the same time. ‘You are … with him?’
‘Well, it’s complicated.’ I stood up too. ‘We’ve been spending a lot of time together.’
‘And you are sure that he saved you?’
‘Yes.’
I watched Antoine’s shoulders sink. Like some life just left his body. ‘Go home, Margot.’
‘Antoine …’
I stood up and walked towards him, but before I got there, he strode purposefully to the door and opened it, holding it ajar. And when I went past him, head up, shoulders back, I noticed that his eyes were glistening.
‘Margot?’ Antoine called when I was a few metres away.
‘What?’ I asked, the word sticking in my throat.
‘If you are going to surf again, you need to find another instructor,’ he said, before closing the door behind me.