Chapter 34
It was hard to wake up the next morning. The dawn sessions and late nights were catching up with me, and when my alarm beeped at four thirty, I almost reached over and turned it off. But then I stopped myself. I wanted this. I wanted to surf, I wanted to compete. So I needed to get up.
I dragged myself out of bed, put on a bikini and the borrowed rash vest, then sneaked out the door, more quietly than ever.
Delphine grinned when she saw me. And I’d never seen it before, Delphine smiling like that. She waved at me from down the beach and when I reached her, she kissed me on both cheeks.
‘Margot! You came. Antoine told me that you said that I am your instructor. Now we can train back in the usual spot. Unless you do not feel like you can?’ Delphine looked into my eyes, searching for fear.
Fear that wasn’t there. I’d rationalized it in my head.
I knew the qualifier would be held at that same stretch of beach, so I’d made myself think about it logically.
There was no difference where I surfed. All water could be dangerous in the wrong conditions.
And I’d rather practise where the competition would be.
‘Let’s go,’ I agreed. And she nodded.
‘I was not sure if you would come back after last night. It was a bit intense. Non?’ she said as we walked along the sand.
When we got to Antoine’s hut, Delphine went straight to the rack and pulled out a surfboard. Antoine’s black surfboard.
‘Oh no, that’s –’ I protested.
‘I told her to use it.’ I heard Antoine’s voice before I saw him. Then he emerged from the back of the surf hut, a length of rope slung round his neck. And, for the first time, my words got properly stuck in my throat. So I coughed.
‘Oh, thanks,’ I said, heat rising through my body as I remembered all the things we’d done in my head last night. I turned away, hoping he wouldn’t catch my blush.
‘Antoine is only watching. So do not worry.’
‘I wasn’t,’ I said, reaching for some board wax and crouching down to scrub it on the board.
I concentrated on it, trying not to miss anything. But my mind kept flicking to last night. The tension, the electric air, the daydreams …
‘You have missed a bit, Princesse.’
I looked up to see Antoine beside me on his haunches. I sighed dramatically, then chucked him the board wax. ‘Do it for me then,’ I said, then stood up as Delphine laughed.
‘Yes, Margot!’ she sang, and Antoine gave her a side-eyed glance.
Delphine walked a few metres away from the hut and held out her arms. ‘Minimal wind. Perfect. What will you do, Antoine?’
‘Board repairs. And I will watch.’ And when he said the word ‘watch’ he was looking straight at me. I shivered and picked up my board, walking towards Delphine.
‘Margot. What are you doing?’ She looked at my board.
‘What?’ I asked.
‘We run!’ she said. ‘The same as yesterday.’
And she was right. Yesterday we’d gone on a beach run followed by stretches before we even set foot in the water.
I was blaming Antoine for that. Messing with my head.
I glared and him and he smiled back, tilting his sunglasses down slightly, and I rolled my eyes before dropping the board and running after Delphine, who’d already taken off.
The training session was harder today. Which was good. It didn’t give me any time to worry about what Antoine was looking at back on the sand.
‘Your tail slide. It needs some work,’ Delphine said when we finally got in the water. ‘All of your weight, it must go on the front leg. You are not doing that.’
So I did it again. And again, until Delphine was happy.
We emerged from the sea exhausted. Antoine greeted us with bottles of water.
‘You looked good out there,’ he said.
‘Thanks,’ Delphine answered with a smile.
‘You both did.’ He took my board from me and put it on the rack. ‘Margot, you are more ready than I was for my first competition.’
I glowed with pride.
‘I am taking all the credit for her.’ Delphine put her arm round Antoine’s neck.
‘I think she can take all the credit herself,’ Antoine said, then chucked a towel at me.
And I blushed at that as I covered my face with it.
I squeezed it through my hair gently, trying to get it to dry as quickly as possible before Mum and Dad saw.
When I threw the towel back to Antoine, I noticed Delphine looking at the sky. She mumbled something in French.
‘I think they were right. What do you think, Antoine?’
‘The storm? It is coming, for sure. Lucky you had a session already.’
‘A storm? No!’ I complained. I was so looking forward to uninterrupted surf lessons.
‘You will be OK, Margot. You can do some push-ups in your caravan,’ said Delphine. ‘Oh, I must go and help Felix set up. I told him I would be there today.’
I waved goodbye to Delphine and turned to Antoine. ‘So, what did you really think?’
He stopped tidying up for a second and studied me. His eyes rested on my face before tracing my body. And it was like I could feel them, as if he was touching me with his fingertips.
‘Your bottom turn. You are dropping your back shoulder,’ Antoine said, his eyes on mine.
‘Oh really? Delphine didn’t mention it,’ I said.
‘It is subtle, and sometimes Delphine does the same thing … I can show you?’ He raised his eyebrows. ‘Yes?’
I nodded, and he took the board back off the rack, lying it on the sand. ‘Lie down,’ he instructed.
I hesitated, before lying down on the board as if I was going to paddle out. Then he was next to me, leaning on the sand.
‘OK, pop up.’
So I did. And he watched. Inches away from me. Then his hands were on my shoulders, gently repositioning me. And there was that current. The one that I knew so well but still seemed to shock me. I inhaled. Desperately trying to hold on to the moment and concentrate at the same time.
He guided me through the movement. One hand on my shoulder, while another moved to my hip, and I had to bite my lip to distract myself from the craving in my abdomen. ‘Do you feel how your weight shifts?’
I nodded, swallowing hard.
‘When you come out of the bottom turn it is about connecting your upper body to your lower body.’ The hand that was on my shoulder joined the other one on my hips. He turned me slightly and then put his hand on my stomach. ‘The core. The power comes from here.’
My breath was shallow. ‘I think I get it.’
‘Good,’ he replied and let go. But the feeling didn’t disappear – my skin was still alive, almost vibrating from where he’d touched me.
‘I better go. Before my mum and dad get suspicious.’
‘OK. Just remember that the storm is coming. Be safe.’
‘I will.’
I walked away, with my skin still burning from his touch.
Mum and Dad were outside eating breakfast when I got back to the mobile home. My hair had already dried in the sun so it couldn’t give me away.
‘Morning, Margot,’ said Mum. ‘Did you go for a walk?’
‘Yep, just down to the beach. It’s a really nice morning.’ I kept my voice cheery.
‘It really is. We are planning a trip to Saint-Jean-de-Luz for lunch after the girls’ lesson – would you like to come? Or have you other plans?’
‘Sure,’ I said. I didn’t have any other plans; Delphine had cancelled our extra training because of the imminent storm. ‘But there’s a storm coming. Did you know?’
‘It says that it’s not due until this afternoon, so we should be OK.’
‘She’s really coming?!’ I heard Wren shout from inside.
And that made me smile.
It was hot in Saint-Jean-De-Luz. Like really hot. The humidity was making my T-shirt stick to my skin and I noticed Rue fidgeting with her splints even more than usual.
Saint-Jean-De-Luz was just how I’d remembered it from when I’d come here with Felix and we’d had such a lovely day.
And as soon as Felix came into my head, so did the guilt of all the thoughts I’d been having about Antoine.
I’d been so sure at the beginning that it had been true passion with Felix.
He’d been so nice to me. And maybe that’s what made me confused.
Theo had never been like that, and it was intoxicating.
Just being with him made me feel so good about myself.
And then I felt selfish. Like I’d somehow used him.
But I hadn’t. Not intentionally. I didn’t trust myself to think about Antoine when I was with my family.
It felt wrong, having those thoughts. So I pushed them both out of my head.
Dad gave Rue a piggyback through the town, all the way to the little pizzeria that Felix and I had eaten in.
And after we ate, Mum’s phone rang.
‘No caller ID. Hospital?’ Mum mumbled at Dad, and my stomach lurched, as it did every time the hospital phoned. Because it never meant something good.
I looked over at Rue to see if she’d noticed, but she was busy showing Wren something she’d drawn on a napkin. Mum stood up and I watched her walk outside into the humidity. Dad followed her and I just studied the two of them, trying to work out what was being said.
Mum put her hand over her mouth, and I still couldn’t tell. She didn’t look upset. Maybe Rue didn’t need to have her operation because they’d got some test results back and she’d been miraculously cured?
Now Dad had his arm on Mum’s shoulder. She was still on the phone, and it looked like she was asking loads of questions. She wiped sweat from her forehead, then hung up the phone and just looked at Dad.
Then they hugged. And I still had absolutely no clue what was going on.
They stayed outside talking for a while before coming in.
‘Why did you take so long?’ Rue demanded to know when they walked through the door. ‘We need to order ice cream.’
‘Ice cream, of course,’ Mum said, when it was clearly the furthest thing from her mind. I glanced at Wren, who was looking nervously between Mum and Dad, like she knew something was coming.
Mum ordered ice cream, then both she and Dad sat down.
‘We have some news,’ she said. She was looking at Rue when she said it, then looked at both me and Wren.
‘Good news?’ Rue asked with a huge smile.
‘I think so,’ Mum said.
My stomach twisted.
The waiter came back and set down bowls of vanilla ice cream in front of Rue and Wren.
‘Merci,’ I said for them. ‘What is it?’ I asked Mum, getting impatient.
‘Well, it’s about Rue’s operation,’ Mum said. Everyone looked at Rue, who just stared into her ice cream. ‘Remember that it was supposed to be in September?’
‘Yeah?’ I nodded, scared for what was coming next.
‘Well, we just had a phone call from Doctor Malone. She said she had a cancellation and can do Rue’s operation early,’ Mum said carefully.
I glanced at Dad, who just looked at Rue with pain in his eyes.
‘How early?’ I asked.
‘Next week,’ Mum said. ‘Which means we’d have to leave on Friday to get to Liverpool on time. And they said there’ll be space at the Ronald McDonald house, so we can stay there.’ Mum tried to sound bright and cheery, but her voice wavered and gave her away.
Friday.
The day of the qualifier.