Chapter 39
Lili’s mum’s house was perfect.
It was right on the beach. Just ten minutes from the campsite.
There were flowers in little baskets beside the door, and wind chimes hung over the surfboards that were propped up against the wall.
I inhaled, taking it all in. This was going to be my home for the next couple of months.
And it was nice to see my new room with Mum, Dad, Rue and Wren, like they were leaving a part of themselves with me.
Wren bounced on what was going to be my bed and Mum and Dad asked Lili’s mum a million questions. And when we left, they seemed happy.
Back at the mobile home that evening, Mum laid the table with little tea lights.
‘Look, Margot, isn’t it beautiful?’ Wren asked.
I looked again at the table and saw that it had been decorated with shells too, dotted all over the white plastic.
‘We did it for you!’ Wren said.
Mum came down the little metal steps carrying bowls of spaghetti and Dad followed with more. They set them down on the table, pushing candles and shells gently out of the way to make room.
I couldn’t help feeling sad. Our last night. The last time I’d see my family in I didn’t even know how long.
‘Thanks for dinner, Mum,’ I said.
‘I thought you should eat pasta, give you energy for tomorrow. Oh, Margot, are you sure this is what you want?’ Mum looked at me with worry all over her face.
‘I’m sure,’ I said. And I was even more sure after seeing the house on the beach just then. It felt right. Like this was where I was supposed to be.
‘I’m sorry.’ She shook her head. ‘It’s all just a lot.’
‘I made you this.’ I turned to see Wren standing beside me holding a folded piece of paper. She handed it to me, and I opened it out. A map of the campsite that she’d drawn.
‘A map, so you won’t get lost when we’re gone,’ she said.
My eyes filled with emotion, and I hugged her. ‘Thanks, Wren, I’ll use it every day.’
‘And here, you can have this!’ Rue said, pushing a shell towards me from across the table.
‘A shell. Thanks, Rue.’ I smiled.
‘Not just any shell. A lucky shell,’ she corrected.
I held it in my fist, then slid it into the pocket of my shorts. ‘Thanks, Ruthie.’
‘You’re sure about this, Margot? Really sure?’ Dad, who’d been so quiet, gazed over at me.
I nodded. ‘I wasn’t looking for this. I didn’t come to France looking for anything. But I found this, and I need to see where it leads,’ I explained.
Dad nodded at me briefly in understanding. ‘Wren, why don’t you give Margot her present?’ Dad nudged her and Wren grinned.
‘But you’ve given me presents,’ I protested.
‘This is from all of us,’ Mum said, and got up with Wren and walked behind the mobile home.
They emerged carrying a surfboard. A bright pink one with painted black waves on it.
‘Oh my God,’ I said, getting up.
Wren could barely contain her excitement. ‘Do you like it?’
‘I chose it,’ said Rue.
‘I did!’ argued Wren.
‘They both did,’ said Dad. ‘The woman in the shop told us it was perfect for someone starting out in competitions.’
There was a lump in my throat, and I could barely get the words out without my voice shaking. ‘Thank you all, so much. Wait. When did you even get it?’
Dad smiled. ‘Remember when I said I was taking the girls to the supermarket, just before we went to look at your new room? Well, we actually went into town.’
My heart swelled at the thoughtfulness.
‘Can we play that game again?’ Wren asked.
‘What game, love?’ Mum said.
‘The one where we say what we’re grateful for,’ she said quietly.
Dad glanced up at me and I remembered the last time we’d played, the better part of a month ago. I cringed again. Not because of the game, but at how angry I’d been the first time.
‘Yeah, let’s play,’ I said.
‘OK, me first!’ Rue shouted. ‘I’m grateful for the surfing lessons, even though I fell a lot.’ Rue grinned.
‘You didn’t fall that much,’ Wren offered. ‘I’m grateful that I got to see how brave people can be. Like Rue going surfing even though it’s hard for her, and Margot staying here all by herself. And Mum and Dad letting us try new things even though they’re worried,’ said Wren.
I looked over at Mum, whose eyes were shining. She put a hand over her heart. ‘That was lovely, Wren.’ She cleared her throat. ‘And I’m grateful for seeing my beautiful daughters discover new parts of themselves.’
Dad reached over for Mum’s hand. ‘And I’m grateful for this holiday. For making us all see each other a bit differently.’
A wave of emotion rolled through my chest. What was I going to do without my family?
‘Margot?’ Dad asked.
‘I’m grateful for …’ I hesitated. The lump in my throat was still there, and my voice wavered.
I coughed. ‘For this place. The ocean, and everything it taught me. For new friends, and for you all, supporting me.’ I took a deep breath.
‘For you, Rue, for showing me what never giving up looks like, for Wren who always notices what people need. For Dad – thank you for letting me do this even though it scares you. And Mum –’ I found it hard to look directly at her, so I settled my gaze on the top of her head in case I collapsed into floods of tears – ‘for believing I can do this.’
‘And I need a super-fast recovery so I can be a real surfer too,’ Rue said, jumping in, making me laugh, and making me even sadder that they’d be gone in a matter of hours.
Mum laughed. ‘Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.’
We finished dinner, then Dad brought out a plate of desserts they had bought in the supermarket.
Tarte au citron, les éclairs au chocolat and les mille-feuilles, the same kind that Felix had shown me.
He’d cut them all up into tiny pieces and we shared them as the sun set, with the sound of cicadas singing in the grass around us. It couldn’t have been more perfect.
But this was it. This was goodbye. Tomorrow, I had to get up at five thirty a.m. and be at the beach by six. There wouldn’t be time for extended goodbyes. And I needed to get to bed, to rest before the competition.
Back in my room, my phone buzzed.
ARI: Surfing … that’s unexpected. Turns out Theo is a piece of shit to everyone, not just you. He dumped me for Carrie Richards a couple of days ago. I fucked up and I know it. Sorry. A x
And I didn’t reply. I didn’t have the headspace. Not with everything else going on. So I just put my phone down and went to sleep.