Chapter 24 Sud
Chapter Twenty-four: Sud
Noi’s exhausted. He filmed his scene that was so emotionally draining, and as soon as the director called cut, ran sobbing to a corner where he’s been for thirty minutes while I’m filming another scene.
Finally, I’m able to go to him and coax him to go lie down in one of the rooms with a bed.
I lie down next to him, stroking his hair until he falls asleep.
He did really well with the scene. I watched even though he didn’t want me to, but I stayed in the background, viewing it on the monitor with P’Tee.
Seeing him so broken was hard. I didn’t realize I was crying until P’Tee handed me a tissue.
We have to go on location next week—I didn’t hear where, only that it will be a three-to-four-hour drive.
Before we go, we have to film the second half of the love scene, or the entire thing over again if the director decides he wants something different than what was in the unofficial trailer.
P’Intapong and P’Tee agree to give Noi and me Wednesday off and schedule the scene for Thursday.
Noi spends all that day and night with me. We mostly play video games, and, that evening, I cook a simple dinner for us, after which we put on a movie. He snuggles into me on the couch as we watch it.
During a break in the action, Noi says, “This is nice.”
“I agree,” I say, stroking his soft hair.
“Sud?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m sure you know I’ve always loved you, but this is…different.”
“Yeah, I get it. Because I feel the same. You’ve always been special to me, but lately it’s, well, like you said. Different.”
He nods, head against my chest.
“I’ve been thinking about something,” he says after a minute. “I think we should wait until after we film the love scene to go any further in our own relationship.”
Since we cleared things up between us and confessed our feelings, we haven’t really acted much different with each other than usual. But I feel the underlying pull between us.
Noi looks up, watching my face. “You know, because our characters are supposed to be entering something new, and we’ll do a better acting job if it really is new to us.”
“Pragmatic as always,” I say, grinning.
“Do you mind?”
“Do I mind not getting to make out with you? Yeah, I do.” I wait a beat. “But I understand, and you’re probably right. We’re not in a hurry.”
Noi’s smile is unbearably sweet.
He falls asleep as soon as we get back to watching the movie. Wrapping my arm around him, I tug him closer.
I guess I’ve got it bad if I’m watching him sleep now.
During the time I thought he was seeing P’Wisit, I asked myself again if maybe my jealousy had more to do with having to relinquish my role as the most important person in Noi’s life.
I could see by the tightening around his eyes and the way he sometimes winced and rubbed his temples when he thought I wasn’t watching that he was stressed, but I knew better than to say anything about it.
Noi wouldn’t want me to call attention to it at work, and that was the only time I saw him.
Imagining him going to P’Wisit for comfort made me nearly crazy.
Looking at him now, dark lashes against pale skin and plump lips parted in sleep, I realize that I’ve never felt quite like this about anyone.
I’ve always known that Noi and I have something special, but I never equated it with romantic love.
I thought the shallow feelings I had for girlfriends were closer to what love was supposed to be, which was probably why I wasn’t eager to get into a permanent relationship any time soon.
Leaning in, I press a kiss to his head, lingering a moment to take in the sweet smell of his hair before resting back against the couch, noting every minute change in his expression as he sleeps.
Eventually, Ford and Tao come home from their jobs, and I can feel their questioning glances. They’ve been avoiding me lately because I’ve been such an ass, and I need to apologize, but for now I ignore them.
Scrolling through my phone, I see someone at Rainbow took a video of me and Noi lying on the bed after he filmed his scene and posted it on the website. The comments are all about how cute we are together and speculation on how deep our affection for one another runs.
Tao comes out of the bathroom fresh from a shower and gives me a thumbs up on his way to the kitchen.
Since he told me he saw Noi and P’Wisit holding hands at the movie theater and I stormed out of the apartment, Tao’s been avoiding me. I’ll have to have a talk with him soon and explain what’s been going on.
For now, I just smile and give him a nod.
I turn off the TV and ease out from under Noi before lifting him in my arms and carrying him to my bedroom. Carefully, I strip off his pants, leaving him in his T-shirt and shorts, then I undress myself.
Lying down next to him, I cover us with a blanket.
I’m tired, and it doesn’t take me long to drift off.
At some point during the night, Noi rolls closer to me, wrapping one leg and one arm around me, his head close to mine on the pillow.
I watch him, filled with tender feelings, until my eyes slip shut again.
****
Both Noi and I read the novel Hearts Set on Fire. We are well aware the love scene is NC-17. But changes have been made recently, and what we’re looking at today is entirely different from what we looked at two weeks ago.
“BLs are currently pushing the limit,” P’Tee tells us as we prepare to shoot the scene.
Our hair and makeup done, Noi and I are wearing robes over our boxer briefs.
The staff has been sent away, leaving only two camerapeople, the sound guy, P’Tee, and his assistant.
“The producers want to test the waters with the secondary couple.”
Noi and I look at each other.
“Do you think that will be a problem? Do you want P’Arm here?” P’Tee asks.
“I think we’ll be okay,” Noi says, and I nod agreement.
“Okay. We’re picking up mid-scene, just after the dialogue ends,” P’Tee tells us. “After we view the first and second half of the scene together, I’ll decide if I want to refilm the first half.”
He directs the sound guy to move a little to the left of the bed with a wave of his hand before turning to Noi.
“Mee Noi. In the interest of being realistic, I want to see some discomfort on your face at first. Not too much, but enough to let the viewers know what’s going on in that moment. I’ll let you know when.”
Ears turning bright red, Noi nods.
“And I want noises. Grunts, groans, moans out of both of you. And I want to see tongue. Otherwise, improvise. I’ll let you know if I want you to do something. Any questions?”
We both shake our heads. “We’re ready,” I say.
“Okay. Just let me talk to the camera crew a minute.” P’Tee gets off the bed where he’s been sitting with us and walks over to the man and woman behind the two cameras.
I meet Noi’s gaze.
“Are you ready to do this?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Noi says.
“Let’s take these last few minutes to get into character, okay?”
Noi nods, and we both close our eyes and do the breathing exercises and other things we’ve learned that prepare us to sink into the identity of our characters.
P’Tee returns and takes his place in front of the monitor. “Okay, let’s do this.”
We take off the robes and get in our places under the blanket on the bed while the cameramen get into position. Above our heads, the sound boom hangs just out of frame.
“Action!” P’Tee calls.
I lean in and kiss Noi, our lips brushing softly. It’s like a dance, our lips meeting and pulling away, then meeting again.
“Deepen the kiss,” P’Tee directs over the intercom.
We part our lips, and when Noi’s tongue slides against mine, the moan that rises from my chest is very real. Thankfully, no one has to know that.
In his role of intimacy coach, P’Arm warned us we might get hard when filming scenes like this.
He said that it’s totally natural and expected and doesn’t mean anything.
Everyone present when filming NC scenes is a professional and knows to ignore it if it happens.
Back then, I never thought it would happen.
I couldn’t get hard for a guy, no matter how I felt about Noi.
Well, I was wrong. It’s happening, and I can’t do anything about it, so I take his advice and ignore what my body’s doing, thankful for the blanket covering us. When it comes to the part where Train slides his hand down Sound’s chest and stomach, seeking my…and then brushing against it…
With a soft gasp, Noi’s hand stills and he meets my gaze. With my own, I try to convey to him how much I want him, dying to move against him and feel him respond to me.
Holy fuck.
“Cut!” P’Tee calls and approaches the bed to walk us through the next bit, and again I’m very happy to have the blanket covering me as P’Tee shows how I should press Noi down, kiss along his jaw and neck, and then encourage him to flip over.
As I lean on my elbow, my erection pokes Noi in the stomach, and it’s hard not to think about it. No pun intended.
P’Tee calls for action again, and my mouth seeks Noi’s, sucking his lips, taking his breath, wanting so much more.
“Good, good. Mee Noi, give me those noises of pleasure,” P’Tee instructs.
Noi closes his eyes and makes this incredible sound that goes straight to my nuts.
He’s breathing deeply, bare chest moving beneath me.
I run my teeth over Noi’s collarbone, eliciting another stuttering groan from deep in his throat as his fingers dig into my side.
Only the presence of the five other people in the room and the two cameras in my face keep me from thrusting my hips to get some friction against my throbbing cock.
“Okay, Sud, you’re going in. Noi, be ready with your reaction.”
Going in. Oh, fuck. Now, I’m imagining doing it for real.