CHAPTER 27
“I forgot to tell you, but I’m meeting Riana for coffee today,” I lied, my gaze landing on Mikey, who was fiddling with the bass, trying to come up with a riff for the past couple of hours.
“Okay, what time?” he asked, without looking up from his sheet notes.
“Like in ten.”
“I’ll drop you off.”
“No need. She is coming to pick me up.”
His eyes finally focused on mine. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.” I mustered a convincing smile.
He nodded, going back to his guitar.
A silent sigh of relief escaped me. Thank God he didn’t ask more questions. I wasn’t sure how long I was going to lie like this.
“I’ll get going then.” I leaned in to hug him goodbye.
He kissed my cheek. “Have fun.”
“I will,” I promised as I left the apartment, knowing well that I was going to have anything but fun.
“Thanks for doing this,” I said as I got inside Jack’s Mercedes. He’d parked a few blocks away from mine, just in case I ran into someone since we all lived in that same building.
“Don’t worry about it. How are you?” His concerned eyes found mine.
“I’m fine. Well, fine as I can be, I guess,” I said, fastening my seat belt.
“I’m worried about you, Lily.” His eyes were focused ahead as he drove, but the unease in his voice was evident.
I didn’t say anything, and a moment of uncomfortable silence passed.
“How’s Lola?” I asked, changing to a subject that I knew he loved. Riana and I roped Jack into a group chat to help him win over his ex.
“Good. I helped her settle into her new apartment, just like you girls told me, but it’s all very platonic. I have the feeling that she is scared to trust me again. Understandably so.”
“Girls need a lot more time, but if you keep showing up, she’ll come around. Trust me, she wouldn’t remain friends with an ex if some lingering feelings weren’t still around.”
“I hope so.” He smiled, pulling into the parking lot of the familiar private clinic. “If you don’t mind, can I come along too? I don’t want you to go through all that alone.”
I nodded gratefully. “Thanks.”
After a few hours and a bunch of tests later, I was led into a familiar office at the end of the hallway. I was already dead tired at this point.
“Lily.” Dr. Karlfield greeted me with a warm smile just as I entered, his eyes going straight to Jack .
“Dr. Karlfield, this is Jack, my friend,” I said with a jittery smile as I walked into the white room. It was clinical yet serene because of the view from the huge window on the side, overlooking the vast lawn outside.
“I’m glad you brought someone along, Lily. Take a seat.”
My attention turned back to him, and I said, “Thank you.” Jack and I lowered into the seat in front of him while he fiddled with his monitor.
My eyes fixed on the models of human organs behind him, scanning over the intricate parts weaving through them, sidetracking my mind because I was scared to hear what he had to say.
“Lily,” Dr. Karlfield’s voice pulled my eyes back to him. “I don’t have all the results, but with what I have, they don’t look very good. Just like we’d expected, your disease is rapidly progressing, but since the nature of it is unclear, we can’t really take any chances. Are you sure about your decision?”
My eyes widened, and my heart thudded, the palms of my hands clammy with sweat. “Yes,” I muttered, but my voice didn’t sound as confident as it did last time. Why?
Wasn’t I sure that I decided that I wouldn’t be trying, that I would just go ?
“Look, I can’t tell you to change your decision. That’s up to you. Nor can I divulge this information to anyone, but your brother is like family to me, Lily. I just wish you could talk to them before you make a final decision. You need their support at times like this. If you’re scared, I can arrange for you to talk with someone. ”
I swallowed the lump down my throat. “That won’t be necessary, Dr. Karlfield. I’m fine with this.”
He sighed, nodding. “I’m just going to move your prescription up a bit to make you comfortable, but like I said, this is not a long-term solution.”
“I understand. Thank you, Dr. Karlfield.” My mind was already slipping away someplace else.
After thirty minutes, Jack and I walked out of the clinic, finally done with the visit.
“He’s right, you know,” Jack added, his face pinched in worry.
The crunch of my footsteps against the gravel driveway halted.
“You need your family’s support. I know you think that you made the right decision by hiding this from them and dealing with this by yourself, but imagine the guilt that would eat them alive that they couldn’t help you. I’m not going to tell you what to do, but give this a fighting chance rather than giving up, like your life means nothing. You mean a lot to the people who love you.”
A blazing lump stuck in the back of my throat, and I didn’t realize I was crying when a single tear slid from the corner of my eye.
A calming breeze brushed the tendrils of my skin like a warm embrace on a desolate day.
“Lily.” An awkward smile spread across his lips. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“It’s okay. I’m okay.” I blubbered in laughter. My eyes were still blurry, full of unshed tears .
His face softened, and he pulled me into a hug, rubbing soft circles down my back. “You’ll be okay.”
“Thank you,” I whispered against his sweater. “I’m sorry for dragging you into this. I know you don’t owe me anything.”
“Hey.” An offended look crossed his expression. “Now my ego’s hurt. I thought we were friends, Lily.”
A smile stretched across my lips. “Then I’m quite lucky to have you as my friend. Though on my end, I’m a pretty useless friend.”
“You know there is a saying that says everybody comes into your life for a reason. Maybe I came into yours to drive you to your doctor’s appointment.” He grinned cheekily.
I rolled my eyes as we started toward the car. “I don’t know why all the men around me are clowns,” I muttered.
“Hey, I heard that.” His laughter hung in the air as I slid inside the car.
“Where to next?” Jack asked, twisting his head toward me, his hand gripping the steering wheel. “Home or somewhere else? I have nothing to do today.”
“I don’t feel like going home.” The vulnerability of the appointment still lay like a fresh wound on my skin.
“Wanna go to a shitty hole-in-the-wall bar right outside the city?” He raised a brow. “I found that place a while ago. It’s really quiet, unlike the ones in the city at this hour.”
“That’ll be nice,” I said, darting my gaze outside. “Quiet is good.”
It took about an hour to reach the place. In the meantime, I texted Mikey that I’d be home late, another form of guilt coursed through me, but I brushed it off. It wasn’t like I was cheating.
“Hope you don’t mind, but Riana has invited herself yet again.” Jack sighed as he grabbed a chair in front of me. “She’s bringing Noah.”
“Nope, I miss them.” And I did. Even though I’d just started working at the studio a few months ago, my group of friends had wormed their way into my heart, and now I couldn’t help but feel like it was all being taken away from me.
“Sorry.” Jack slid back in the chair, handing me a glass of water while he settled for a pint. “I didn’t really think before bringing you here. I know you can’t eat the greasy stuff.”
“It’s okay. I’m not that hungry anyway.”
This place was nice, with a single wonky neon sign lit up on the far wall. Other than that, it was shrouded in low lights, smelling like cheap beer and fried food with just a few patrons lingering about.
A loud, cheery voice screeched in my ears, “Lily,” before pulling me into a tight hug, smelling like gardenias.
“Riana.” I clutched her tightly. “God, it’s so good to see you.”
Noah captured me in another hug as soon as she drew away. “Lily, it’s been so long. I can’t believe you left us without saying goodbye.”
The guilt just kept adding on. I wondered how long I could take it before it crashed over my head.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled as he let me go.
Riana soon occupied the seat next to me, firing questions a million miles an hour .
I was smiling the whole time I answered her. I could feel some of her joyous energy radiate off to me and distract me from my clouded mind.
“Makima, that bitch, I want to tape her mouth shut. Ever since you left, she’s not even afraid to show us her true colors. If it wasn’t for Noah, I would quit just like you.” Riana’s eyes fixed on Noah, smiling shyly.
Noah beamed back, a flush of pink rising on the tops of his cheeks. They’ve been going strong ever since their World of Warcraft night, and I was so happy for them.
Riana, being herself, told our team the real reason I quit, not really caring about the consequences. They were all shocked, to say the least, but kept me in the loop like I was still a member of their team. Somehow, that warmed my heart.
“Is this you going out with Riana?” thundered a familiar voice from behind me.
Every cell of my being froze, skyrocketing my pulse to a new high.
The conversation around our table hushed, and they all twisted their attention toward the voice. Noah and Riana’s eyes widened like saucers when they realized who it was, while Jack grinned from ear to ear.
My head snapped in his direction. “What are you doing here?”
Mikey’s gaze narrowed into thin slits as he regarded me. “Can I talk with you for a moment, Lily?” His thumb poked into the dark hallway behind him. “Alone.”
And before I could protest, he was already half the distance away .
“Sorry, guys,” I mumbled, striding fast behind his back.
I knew I didn’t do anything wrong, but trepidation flared its way up my gut for some reason.
“What?” I asked as soon as I approached his side, where he was leaning casually against the far wall.
“You want to explain this to me?” he asked in a cold voice that had made my hair on the back of my arm stand up.
My forehead creased as I leaned over to look at the image on his phone that he was holding.
It seemed to be like some sort of headline from a gossip site.
The elusive Lily Jameson, the sister of our favorite rock star, J.J., was seen getting cozy with a mystery man, who sources have confirmed is her boyfriend, grandson of the Mathias group, Jack Mathias. It looks like love is in the air for these two.
My eyes almost bulged out of my head as they skimmed through the words. The photograph was taken right outside Dr. Karlfield’s clinic when Jack and I hugged. How the hell did they get this? I was hardly the focus for the paps. I could count the number of times they photographed me, and it was usually with the boys, never like this.
A sick feeling rose up my chest as I met his gaze.
“It isn’t what you think.”
“Really?” Mikey cocked a brow. “You know I recognize that place. It’s the same clinic where Dr. Karlfield works, and your GPS told me you were there for exactly three hours, Lily. With him.” His tone was devastatingly furious as he bit the last word.
“Yes, I was there with Jack… Wait.” I faltered, holding up a hand. “You have a GPS on me? ”
“It’s in your phone; it’s in all of ours. It’s security swept for protective measures. But don’t evade my question, Lily. Tell me why the hell was my girl hugging another man when she said that she was out with her girlfriend?”
“Jack is sick,” I blurted. “He wanted someone to accompany him, okay?”
His jaw clenched. “Then why did you lie to me?”
My heart lurched. “I didn’t.” I licked my lips, trying to think of something. “I wasn’t okay. I just left out that part. I was still meeting Riana.”
“Fine.” His greens glowered in the dark. “I still don’t think you went to the clinic for him. What was the real reason, Lily?”
Before I could utter another word that gave away the real reason, Jack arrived at our side, and Michael looked ready to pummel him to the ground.
“She’s not lying. I asked her to go with me.” Jack gave me a reassuring look. “I happen to go to the same clinic, and these pictures are because of me. I apologize, Lily. Grandpa is currently battling a civil trial that has been the talk of the town, so the paps have been hounding our family. I didn’t think they would go this far. I’ll take care of it.”
Jack fixed his gaze on Michael. “Don’t be too hard on her. I asked her to keep my hospital visit a secret. I’m not interested in Lily that way. I can assure you that Lily and I are just friends.”
A long beat of a moment passed before Mikey nodded. “Don’t ask my girlfriend to keep secrets from me. You won’t like what I do the next time.” With that, he clamped a hand around my wrist and dragged me out of the corridor .
I pivoted to wave goodbye to Jack, so grateful for this kind man to come into my life.
He returned my wave with a warm smile, mouthing, “Take care.”
I nodded, mouthing back, “Thank you.”
Mikey led me to the door at the end of the hallway, and a blast of chill wind hit our faces as we exited into a dirty alley.
“You called me your girlfriend,” I chirped, as we walked toward his car.
A pinch fixed on his face as he eyed me. “Aren’t you?”
“I don’t know, you never told me.”
In an instant, he spun my body around. My back dug into the car as his body trapped mine. “Do I need to spell out everything for you, Lily? If you want to get it through your head, yes, you are my girlfriend.”
A betraying blush flushed my cheeks. “I’m not convinced,” I mumbled, snaking my arms around his neck.
He smirked, pulling my upper lip between his teeth. “Then what will make you convinced?”
“I might be convinced if you kiss me breathless.”
His eyes zeroed in on my lips. “I might do just that.” His hot breath washed over my skin.
“You bitch, I told you not to call him. You did, didn’t you? You slut.” A loud jarring voice followed by a whimper made Mikey still.
I frowned. “Who was that?” It was pretty dark in the parking lot, except for the lone streetlamp that was on the far corner which did nothing to light up this place.
“Stay here,” Mikey mumbled, pulling away from me .
“No,” I protested. “I’m coming with you,” I said, following him toward the end of the parking lot where the voice got louder and louder.
“Is everything okay here?” Mikey asked in an icy tone that sent shivers down my spine.
A big burly man had a woman pinned against the wall. Even in the low lights, I could tell that something was wrong. It was clear that she was crying—her makeup was caked under her eyes and a heavy bruise was forming over the line of her jaw.
“Mind your own business. I’m talking to my girlfriend.” The guy squinted his beady eyes on Mikey, who didn’t seem to be backing off.
“I was talking to the girl. Ma’am, are you alright? Is this man hurting you?” Mikey questioned her, ignoring the man.
A sense of danger filled the air as the man eyed Mikey and me with disdain.
The woman only whimpered, bringing her dull eyes to us. Just as she was about to open her mouth, the man clamped a hand around her wrist. “Don’t,” he warned.
“Is this man hurting you?” Mikey repeated, louder this time, striding a step toward them.
“Yes,” her slow whisper hung in the air.
The man’s face was masked in a furious expression. He cursed, turning toward her with a raised fist.
But it never landed because Mikey swooped in with a roar and punched him straight across the face, which surprised him, and he lost his footing and fell on the ground .
Mikey took advantage of that, climbing on top of him and rolling in the punches one after another, consumed by blind fury.
My eyes widened as the crunch of bones and pitiful whines coursed the air.
I slowly approached the woman to ask if she was okay, but at one look at me, she ran away, crying loudly.
I huffed out a sigh and turned my eyes to the wrath unfolding in front of me.
“Michael,” I called out. “I think that’s enough.”
The man was passed out and bleeding at this point. If Michael went any further, he was going to end up dead.
“Michael, stop,” I called out again, but it was like he was in a trance, devoured by the focus of destroying the enemy in front of him.
“Mikey,” I shouted, louder, stepping closer as I gripped the end of the hoodie and pulled him back with all my force. “Mikey, stop, that’s enough! You’re going to kill him,” I lashed as his glazed green eyes focused on me.
His fists released that man, his eyes rounded as he volleyed his gaze between the battered man lying in front of him and me.
Almost in a daze, he hauled himself up to his feet, receding back as he wiped his bloody hands on his jeans.
My brows pinched with concern. “Are you okay?”
Still in a daze, he brought his wild eyes to me, but he didn’t say a word.
“Michael? Can you hear me? Are you okay? Do we need to call the cops or something? ”
He shook his head. “Call your brother and ask him to send Tyler.”
“Okay,” I muttered, still worried as I placed the call.
The man coughed, spitting out blood, but he didn’t wake up.
It took about an hour before Emmie and Tyler, who was Emmie’s guard, a.k.a. a part of the band’s security team, reached us.
The entire time, Mikey didn’t speak a single word. He sat by the pavement, staring at the ground with his head buried between his thighs.
“Lily,” Emmie’s alarmed tone met me before he gathered me in a hug. “Did anything happen to you?”
“No, nothing is wrong with me. I’m totally fine.”
“Thank God.” He kissed my forehead before eyeing Mikey and the bleeding man, who was still passed out.
“Why don’t you go sit in the car, and I’ll come in a bit and drive you home, okay?”
“But…” My eyes darted to Mikey, my heart hurting to see him in this state. It felt like he was worlds apart from me. I just wanted him to look at me with playful green eyes and tell me he was alright.
Emmie followed my gaze. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him.”
I nodded, lingering for one last look before I hurried into Emmie’s car and slammed the door.
My eyes were glued to the window as I watched Emmie crouch in front of Mikey, saying something to him to which Mikey only nodded, still having his eyes trained on the ground .
Emmie placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing before he came to a stand and said something to Tyler, who nodded, already typing something on his phone.
Emmie once again turned to Mikey and said something that made Mikey look up straight at me like he knew I was watching him the whole time.
My heart stilled, my eyes trying to convey unspoken words to him, but he quickly averted them.
It wasn’t a minute later when Emmie rushed to the car, sliding into the driver’s seat as he started the engine.
“Wait, what about him?” I asked, the corners of my eyes creasing.
Emmie shook his head. “He’ll be fine. Let’s go.”
My eyes went back to him again. “He doesn’t look fine. Why can’t he come with us?”
Emmie let out an audible sigh as he retrieved the car from the lot. With each passing moment, Michael was getting farther and farther away from me.
“No, Emmie. Go back, he needs someone. He looks so…so alone.” My panicked eyes met my brother’s.
“Trust me, he doesn’t want you near him. He asked me to take you home.” Emmie pulled the car onto the road, and the bar was now far behind us.
“He said that? Why would he say that?”
Emmie spurted out a lifeless laugh. “Because he thinks he’ll hurt you.”
My confusion only deepened; I had no idea what was going on. “How would he hurt me?”
“Li.” My brother’s eyes found mine, his face softening as he peered at me. “Mikey has some issues.” He exhaled. “ Issues that cannot just be fixed in a day. Give him some time. He’ll come around.”
I still didn’t understand anything that he was saying, but I nodded, my brain and heart filled to the brim with worry, doubts, and fear.
For him, for me, and the limited time of my future.
It was gnawing at me the whole time.
As soon as Emmie dropped me off at my apartment, I peeled off my clothes and headed straight into the shower. The heat of the steaming water beat into my back, breaking away the knots in my body but not quite the thoughts hammering inside my head.
Forgoing my usual hoodies, I slipped into one of Mikey’s T-shirts with his citrus smell clinging to it.
I buried myself under the blankets, my ears trained for any sound that would give away his arrival. Since my room shared a wall with the hallway, I could almost always hear when someone walked in.
It was well after midnight, hours after I lay on the bed, when I heard the faint sound of footsteps carry through the wall.
I didn’t even waste a second as I pushed off my sheets and ran outside, barging out the door right when he was about to open his.
“Michael,” I rasped through my ragged breaths, equal parts from running and from the anticipation of seeing him.
“You should go back to your home, Lily.” He still had his back turned to me.
“Why?” I asked, my feet padding closer to him .
“Don’t,” he whispered as if he sensed me and those tortured greens that met mine. “Go to bed, Lily.”
But I didn’t stop. I never knew when to stop. “No, I don’t understand what’s going on. Why won’t you just talk to me?”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“That’s a lie, but if it’s not, then why are you acting this way? Acting like you’re pulling away from me.” My voice was laden thick with emotion.
Only his eyes gave away his torment, but his face still had a blank look.
“I’m not okay.” He gave me a wonky smile. “I just want to be alone tonight.”
I sighed, not being able to take it, but I nodded. People sometimes need space, right? It wasn’t like he was completely pulling away from me like he did all those years ago, right?
“Okay.” My voice cracked. “Promise that you won’t leave, promise that you’ll come back.”
Something akin to distress marred his face. “I won’t,” he said, and he bolted into his apartment.
I stood there staring at the door, the whole time thinking he never said promise.