CHAPTER 27
“Go out with me,” Jay asked, his voice sounding hopeful.
I froze, my hand midway on my coffee mug that was making its way up to my lips.
“What?” I mumbled, averting my gaze like I hadn’t just heard him say that. If my thundering heart echoing down the silent room was any clue, I heard it just right.
“Go out with me,” he repeated in the same tone like he knew I had heard it the last time.
“Like a date?” I asked in a meek voice as I slid my gaze over to him again.
He smiled, shaking his head. “Yes, Evelyn. I think going out means just that. But if you want it in words then, go out with me, on a date.”
I swallowed, the speech centers in my brain trying hard to formulate the words into my mouth. “I don’t know,” I muttered. The tips of my ears instantly sparkled red at my weak reply.
It wasn’t like I didn’t want to go out with him. But it was the fact that if I did, then what?
Every time he asked me something, I immediately said yes, and only got destroyed at the end.
This time, I wanted that point after a long rally. I wanted to hit that match point. I wanted to rule the ball on my side of the court. And I wanted to win.
Everything in our relationship has been according to his terms, but if we were ever going to do this, I wanted things to go down my way.
“It’s just a date. Say yes, and you won’t regret it.” He leaned against the kitchen counter with his arms folded; his backdrop was of a few different shades of pink peonies.
The bitter coffee washed down my throat as I shook my head. “I’m actually going to say no.”
He frowned, sliding his hands to the counter behind him, knuckles turning pale as he gripped them. “Why not?”
I lifted a shoulder. “I’ve been saying yes to everything you ask. I need to learn how to say no.”
He surprised me with a full-blown grin that crinkled the corners of his eyes.
“What?” I mumbled, confused.
He grinned harder as he cupped my cheeks, tilting my head as he brushed his lips softly across my nose.
It only made me more confused. “What?” I repeated.
“My girl is growing up,” he muttered.
Pinks tinted my cheeks, feeling my cheeks blaze as I pushed him away. “I’m a grown woman.”
“That you are but you love so fiercely that sometimes you fail to stand up for yourself. I’m glad you’re saying no, you should say no all the time. It drives me to try harder and do better. And if I have to do that for the rest of my life then I will.”
I watched wide-eyed as he kissed my cheek one last time and pulled away from me.
“I’ll see you soon.” He winked, crouching down to pat Strawberry before he dashed off from my apartment.
The breath I didn’t even know I was holding escaped from my parted lips.
What the fuck was that?
The sound of my keyboard laced with Tony Ann’s “Icarus” playing in the background while I added to the final word count for my submission tomorrow.
A knock on my door interrupted me as my fingers stilled on the keys.
Fuck, who was that?
But I think I had an inclination as to who it could be.
It was Jay’s never-ending flowers.
The whole point of me loving this job was the fact that I could work from home without moving around a lot. But with the number of deliveries that I’d been receiving, this might as well become my full-time job.
And the trips I’ve been making to the local shelters to drop them off were becoming ridiculous.
“Thank you,” I mumbled to the delivery guy, who must think I’m some sort of lunatic receiving all these flowers from a madman.
Though annoyed, I couldn’t deny the tiny hum in my heart wanting to read his note for the day.
Flower 834 out of 2230–I think these shades are the exact shade of pink on your lips. And no, I’m not talking about the one that’s close to your nose. Have a lovely day, sweetheart.
PS How about a date?
Fuck.
I couldn’t stop the blush that scorched my cheeks.
His handwritten notes melted my resolve like a candle on a heated day.
I slapped my palm across my face. Get it together, Evy. Focus and stay strong.
I returned to my work and grinned when I hit the submit button, and another knock rattled on my door.
I blew out an exasperated breath.
I was so done with this. I was sending back whoever it was and would stick with my original plan for tonight with no one else interrupting me.
Hot shower. Cuddles with Strawberry. Sleep.
I wasn’t going to allow anyone to ruin my precious night.
“Ma’am, are you Ms. Evelyn May?” asked a man who wasn’t my usual delivery guy.
I frowned, confused. “Yes.” Who the fuck was he?
He nodded. “You have a delivery, ma’am.”
“Okay,” I mumbled as I watched him gesture to two men standing at the side carrying a huge rectangular box. I couldn’t do a thing as I watched them place it on my living floor, thanking me while they exited.
I sighed. What was it this time?
Strawberry was already causing a ruckus, running around the package and barking loudly.
I dropped to the floor and picked out the note stuck to the front.
One glance at the slanted curved handwriting, and I knew who it was.
I couldn’t give you a version of it in real life, so I hope you settle for a miniature version at the moment .
Intrigue filled my blood. A miniature version of what?
I tore open the brown wrapper covering the box. I came into view with a hard, flat bottom surface with a pink covering on top that said “Lift me.”
The sweet smell of candies hit me first. My eyes widened as I took in the swirls and swirls of pink cotton candy set up like a miniature world. A huge sign that said Evy’s World, made from peppermint candy, stood between two candy floss towers. The attention to detail in this edible fantasy made the strings holding my heart tremble. A mini version of me was reclining on a longue among a sea of tiny chocolate cakes while a mini man who looked a lot like Jay was holding a sign that said “Will you go out on a date with me?”
The whole thing was so corny, cheesy, and childish, but I couldn’t stop the smile beaming from my lips.
This was what I loved the most about him.
He never forgot a thing about me.
My stupid daydream from all those years ago staring me right at my face was proof.
Strawberry immediately tried to put her nose on the candy to investigate it. “No, baby. That’s not for you. You can’t eat it.” I pulled her to my lap and kissed her head. “Mommy will get you something to eat, okay?”
She whined like she understood.
After settling her and taking the hottest shower in my life, I sat down to devour my treat after I took about a dozen pictures of them. Being an adult meant I could have sugar for dinner. So cotton candy and chocolates it was, and damn, were they good.
A ping went off on my phone.
Jay–is it still a no or yes?
Evy–Yes.
Jay–Yes, is it still a no or yes to the date?
I grinned as I typed.
Evy–Yes, to the date.
Jay–My ego is kind of hurting that you said yes because of cotton candies.
Evy–*rolling my eyes*
Jay–Be ready tomorrow night at seven.
Evy–I might be busy tomorrow.
I wasn’t busy at all.
Jay–Fine, when does Her Highness have some spare time for a lowly rock star?
A laugh burst out of my lips.
Evy–Turns out she actually has some time to spare tomorrow.
Jay–So seven tomorrow, my lady?
Evy–Yes .
Damn. Here we go again.
I hoped this time it wouldn’t end up being a disaster.
I ached for those serene happy days that I would spend with him earlier in our relationship.
I could only wish this time luck would stroke my side.
“Hey.” Jay pulled me into a tight hug.
“Hi,” I mumbled against his soft hoodie.
Tyler had picked me up and dropped me off at Blueline letting me know that Jay was waiting for me at his apartment.
I thought we would be going out somewhere, but I didn’t realize we would be having dinner at his place.
“You ready?” he asked as he kissed my cheek, lacing his fingers with my own.
“Yes, I think so.” I frowned, confused by his question.
A smirk sneaked his way up his lips as he led me outside.
“We are going somewhere else?” I asked as he dragged me behind him. I watched him open the small door at the end of the hallway.
“Where are we going?” I questioned as he sauntered up a narrow stairway.
“Patience,” he muttered, the smirk still dancing on his face.
He knew very well that I was the most impatient person ever.
A freezing wind gusted across my face as he opened the door that led to the rooftop. Though spring had set in NYC, the cold from the winter remained. I was grateful I wore a thick sweater and my comfy pair of jeans.
He walked me to a firepit set in the corner surrounded by plush floor cushions.
“I thought we’d give a nod to our first date.” He gestured for me to sit down. “No stars this time. Though I hope this will do.” He pointed at the twinkling lights of the NYC skyline.
“It’s perfect,” I whispered, sinking into the softness.
I smiled as he draped a warm blanket over us.
He poured me a glass of wine while we nibbled on some cheese cubes.
“How was your week?” he asked softly as he slid his arms over me.
“Better than it could be, I guess. Thankfully, I don’t have to deal with people like Amelie anymore or run around in the subway with my fucked-up knee, but I do miss little Theo. Work has been going great. The people there are amazing, and I’ve been hitting the submit button a lot more than I should. Strawberry has been a naughty girl, running around everywhere. She nearly toppled my bookshelf yesterday.” I shook my head. “Oh, and lately I’ve been on the hunt for the best pretzels in town, but no luck so far. Buttered cinnamon sugar is still my favorite.”
He chuckled, pulling me closer to him. “Have you tried cream cheese with jalape?os?”
“Whew.” I scrunched up my nose. “That sounds disgusting.”
“What?” he mumbled. “That’s my favorite.”
I rolled my eyes. “Only you would have weird favorites.”
“You calling me weird?” He pointed at himself. “The weirdest person in the world is calling me weird?” He gasped, mocking me.
“I’m sure you’ve met more weirder people in your life.”
He tapped a finger to his chin as if he was thinking hard. “Not that I can think of. And I’ve met a lot of people.”
“Ass,” I muttered under my breath.
“I heard that, you know,” he said, sipping on his wine.
Minutes slipped into hours as I cuddled closer to him, talking about nothing and everything as we watched the fading city lights while the night grew darker.
We avoided bitter topics. It was as if we were edging on a fragile line. It made my heart thunder with each passing moment.
I swallowed the sudden lump that formed its way up my throat as I peered at him. I asked the inevitable. “Why the date, Jay?”
An instant frown marred its way up his forehead. “What do you mean?”
“Like.” I waved a hand around. “Usually, people go out on dates to get to know each other. But that’s already been established for us. Ours is a weird situation. It’s neither of our fault that we ended up this way. We’ve never been the problem all along. But that still doesn’t stop the fear that creeps into my heart. I think all this lost time has changed us, Jay, and understandably so.” I shrugged. “Yes, the passion, the familiarity, and the trust still exist. But the gap is glaring. We’ve grown apart so much, Jay.” I whispered the last part.
He heaved a heavy sigh, lacing his fingers with mine while drawing small circles on my palm with his thumb. “Then we’ll get to know each other again. It’s not our first rodeo, so let’s do better this time. Let’s fix the gap and battle out our fears. You’ve sacrificed a lot for me, and I won’t forget that. But let’s not let that ruin what we should’ve been. What we are meant to be.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “You are all I ever wanted, sweetheart. I promise I’ll do everything in my power to make sure nothing hurts us again. We have our entire lives ahead of us. Let’s live it the way our younger selves would be proud.”
I smiled, nodding as I brushed my lips to his. A surprised smile spread across his lips, and I gasped as his tongue swiped every inch of my mouth. The softness of the kiss tingled my core. I melted against him as his big hands pulled me closer to him, tilting his head as he went deeper. My hands roamed all over his back, relishing in the feel of his strong body.
I could feel the resolve in my heart shattering.
I felt soft and vulnerable in his presence again, my heart opening for him.
I let myself go as I deep dove into the unknown, this time holding his hand and trusting my everything to him.
“Hey.” He grinned, kissing my nose as he pulled back.
“Hello.” I pulled out a groggy reply, my head still in a daze from that kiss.
He brought my back to his chest as he clamped his arms around me. I sighed happily as we enjoyed each other’s presence and sat comfortable in the silence.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he whispered.
I stilled, somehow knowing exactly what he was talking about.
“I know you went through some pretty hard times. And you had no one by your side, and I know it took a toll on you. Hell, you were having panic attacks just trying to talk about it. That’s a lot to bottle up for this long. You’ll feel better once you let it all go.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” I croaked through the thickness of my throat. “I guess I didn’t have time to deal with all that. I don’t even think I’ve fully dealt with it even now.”
“It’s okay not to deal with it.” He nuzzled his face on my neck. “It’s okay to take your time, and one day it’ll just be a nightmare.”
“I hope so.” My whisper carried in the wind, rustling us.
Time ticked away as we sat in heavy silence, but he didn’t prod me after that.
“She cornered me one day. White,” I said as a forced laugh slipped out of me. “I found out after that she planned the whole thing. I don’t know why, but from the very start, something about her irked me. I just didn’t like the way her eyes followed you everywhere and the look in her eyes when she saw us together. I could never buy her whole ‘I’m so nice’ act.”
I could feel his muscles tighten around me. “I’m sorry I couldn’t see it.”
I shook my head. “It’s not your fault. I think the only reason that it was evident to me was because she tried so hard not to let you see that version of her.”
“Maybe. It was mostly the fact that she wasn’t that important in my life so I didn’t really think much of her at all. Let alone the way she acted toward me. I brushed it off as an innocent crush because you were the only one constantly running through my mind at that time. I was worried and scared, more like terrified that I was going to lose you.”
A sad smile lifted my lips. “How funny that we both saw the signs yet were blindsided anyway.”
“Yeah, but we were just kids. I thought I knew everything back then, but now I realize how dumb I was.”
“You weren’t dumb,” I muttered. “In fact, you were too mature for your age. The person who was dumb and childish was actually me, thinking that living in a cotton candy world would save all my problems.”
His laughter vibrated through my back. “But you were so adorable and cute.”
I rolled my eyes. “Only you would think that.”
“I have no other choice.”
I gave him a sharp jab with my elbow to which he coughed, howling as if it really hurt him.
I wheezed out another breath. I really wanted to say it all. I really wanted it all out of me. “So yeah, she got me alone one day mixing up Katy’s schedule, so no one would notice a thing. She was good at that, leaving no trace behind. I could see the fixation in her eyes as soon as she got me alone. She made ridiculous demands, asking me to leave you, saying the album would only get recorded if I wasn’t in the picture. She had this whole idea in her head. Like she would swoop in as soon as I left.”