CHAPTER 28
JAY
My heart hurt as I listened to her spell out all the shit that she went through because of me.
And the guilt seized my gut.
Guilt that I couldn’t see it.
Guilt that somehow it was all my fault.
If Cece hadn’t been fixated on me, then none of this would’ve ever happened.
“She made all these plans, like after I left, she’d become your best friend and then your lover, and within a year, she was sure you would be engaged.” Her voice became hoarser as she continued. It only made the pain in my heart thunder.
“She even said that you were only with me because you were blinded by lust. I didn’t know what to do other than to sit there and listen to her. It only made me mad as hell. She concluded that I had no other choice if the album was ever going to see the light of day. I obviously told her to fuck off and stormed out of there. But even then, I was scared about what she might do.”
I swallowed the anger that was climbing up my throat with every fleeting second.
“I tried not to think about it over the next week. And I also didn’t want to tell you because that scared me too. Then shit hit the roof. I knew she was the one behind it all. First, they delayed your recording, and a week later, they denied the album. And she was there with you all, acting like a victim, and I couldn’t do a single thing about it. That night, you looked so lost, almost as if all the life had been drained out of you, and that was when it dawned on me that I could never live with myself if I didn’t do what it took to make your dream come to life.” Her voice cracked as her eyes glittered with unshed tears.
I pressed a soft kiss on the side of her head. “I’ve only ever wanted you, and I’ll only ever want you. That is something that will never change.”
She gave me a soft smile as she nodded. “So I went to her house the next day, confident that I could do this for you. I couldn’t, though. I broke down, begging her to change her mind. But nothing worked, and I had to turn it all off to go through with it. She made me sign a contract, and I told her I needed six months to leave you because honestly, I had no idea what I was doing, but mostly it was because I wanted to spend more time with you before I left. Initially, she denied it, but then agreed, saying that it would be a great opportunity for her to make you hate me.” She sniffled.
I didn’t know what to say as I held her. Even seeing my girl stumble and hit her head made my heart ache, but listening to all that she went through felt like a thousand burning arrows were digging deeper and deeper into my chest. I let it all fuel me. I can’t wait to bring that fucking bitch down for playing with my girl.
“Then it started.” A sob broke through her. “She would send instructions, telling me how to act, how to dress. I hated it. I hated it so fucking much. She would mock me and taunt me when no one was looking. She was careful every single time. She kept you guys so busy that no one suspected a thing.”
I breathed out a heavy breath. The pain only heightened with each of her cries. I felt helpless and destroyed. I think this was something I would regret till the day I died.
“She would instigate every single one of our fights. Do you remember the fight we had by the pool because of Will?”
I nodded stiffly.
“That was all her. Even after that when we were picking our dress for the event. She made me do all that. I was so lost. I didn’t know what to do. She told me to drink, and I did. It kind of helped, kept my mind muddled because I hated doing all of that to you. I hated hurting you, lying to you, acting like I didn’t want you anymore. I didn’t know what to do. Everything in me died the day I left you, Jay. I was barely surviving; I couldn’t even eat or get out of my bed. But Auntie M pulled me out of it.” She rubbed the wetness crowding out of her eyes, running down in streams.
“But then she died on me when she promised that she’d always be there for me. Then I was all alone again. Everyone I loved disappeared from my life,” she sobbed.
“Fuck, Evy.” I crushed her to my chest, running my hand down her back as her body rattled from her cries. The sounds coming from her torched my blood.
“Hey,” I whispered, wiping away all her tears. “It’s all over now. No one will hurt you anymore, okay? I swear I won’t let anything happen to you from now on. You have me, forever. I am never leaving your side, okay?”
She nodded but continued to cry.
I hugged her close to me as she let it all out.
It felt like forever before her cries turned to tiny whimpers and then her breathing settled as she came back to me again.
“Sorry,” she mumbled, running the back of her hand through the remnants of the wetness stuck to her face. “I’m a mess.”
“The most beautiful mess.” I kissed her sweet lips.
My heart soared from the laugh that transformed her face. God, she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I didn’t ever want to be apart from her for a second.
Evelyn was the pulse that jumped up my heart. She was the light that soared my life. She was the reason I wanted to wake up every morning to live because I wanted to and not because I had to. The past few months showed me how much I missed her. How much I needed her in my life.
She was my inevitable.
She was my undoing.
And I didn’t want it any other way.
EVY
“You ready to head down?” Jay asked as we lifted ourselves from the floor.
“Yes,” I mumbled as I stretched out. It was close to midnight, and the air was a lot colder. Not that it affected me because I had a human torch keeping me all toasty.
“You sleepy?” We entered the apartment, making our way straight to the living room.
“Not really.” I lifted a shoulder. “I should probably go home.”
His blues flashed to mine. “Stay.”
My exhale caught in my throat. “Thought this was the first date, Jay.”
“It is.” He smirked. “I wanted you to stay because it’s pretty late, but it seems your mind has taken you somewhere dirty.”
A flush pinked my cheeks. “I didn’t say anything.”
“Yes, of course you didn’t,” he mocked, but then the lines around his eyes softened. “You sure you’re okay?”
I nodded as I felt a real smile sweeping my lips. “Yes.” And it was the truth. It felt like all the pain caged inside me burst open. Set free like a flickering ember from the flame that has been burning for hours. I could feel the lightness in my bones and I loved this feeling. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way and I don’t want to change it anytime soon.
“How about some food?” He raised a brow, peering inside his fridge.
“If by food, you mean the monstrosity that you keep inside your fridge, no thank you.”
He rolled his eyes, his face glowing from the light of the fridge. “I have ice cream.”
I gasped, holding my palms to my chest. “What?” I asked. “The healthy asshole has ice cream in his fridge? I still remember him reprimanding me for adding a splash of oil to his omelet.
“I’m sorry,” he grumbled sheepishly as he ran his fingers through his hair. “It just drove me mad to see you in my kitchen.”
A chuckle spilled out of me. God, he was so adorable. “Fine, I like my ice cream with lots of chocolate fudge and roasted almonds.”
“Whoa, that’s a new one.” He gave me a lopsided grin.
“Trust me, it’s the best way to have it. Katy suggested it, and I agree.”
“She’s got a big sweet tooth, doesn’t she?”
“Yeah. Well, speaking of Katy, did she say anything to you? She seems a bit down lately.” I sank into the breakfast chair, while I watched him put together my sundae. “You know, after all this thing with White went down.”
“Yeah.” He blew out a breath as he slid in next to me, sliding down my ice cream in front of me.
“Thanks,” I mumbled.
“She’s been off lately. She and Cece were pretty close, closer than the rest of us, and to learn that it was fake must’ve hurt her bad.”
I sighed, spooning my dessert. “Hopefully, she’s back to her old self soon.” My mouth hit the sweetness of my ice cream and the crunchiness of the almonds. God, that was good. “Are you not having any?” I waved a hand around.
His dark eyes never left mine as he shook his head. “No, I don’t really like ice creams anyway.”
My eyes spun upward. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I pinched his delts, which were hard and firm to the touch. Damn, he was ripped. “You’re not going to lose these muscles because of a few spoons of ice cream, Jay. Don’t be a prude.”
“Fine.” He gave me a cheeky grin as he stole the spoon from my hand.
“Hey,” I shrieked, swatting his shoulder, which obviously felt like a breeze to him.
The grin never left his face as he gobbled a huge mouthful of it. Almost half of it was gone. Now, I regret even asking him to try it.
“You’re right. I think I’ll have this.” He clutched my bowl and pulled it closer to him.
“Hey.” I jumped to my feet, swinging my hands around to snatch it away from him. At least I tried to, but that tall asshole wouldn’t let me. He laughed, eating all my ice cream while I screamed obscenities at him and running around his chair in circles while he kept twisting away from me.
I realized this wasn’t going to work and put him in a headlock from behind. “You ate all my ice cream,” I whined, biting on his lobe.
“You asked me to.” He grabbed my puny arms that were trying to strangle him.
“Ugh.” I stomped like a toddler. “That’s not fair. I hate you!”
In an instant, he spun me around, and with a huff, I landed on his lap—my core straight on his hardening cock.
I swallowed as I peered into his blues. I bit my lips, gyrating my hips along his length. “Did you eat all that healthy shit to manhandle me like this, Jay?” I teased, which pulled a groan out of him.
“If you don’t stop, I’m going to show you just how much I can manhandle you. Only this time in my bed, sweetheart.” He caught the skin on my jawline between his lips.
I grinded harder. “You don’t see me saying no.”
He caught my lips between his as I moaned my next breath into his mouth. Swirling my tongue, we didn’t miss a beat as he swooped me up in his arms and carried me across the hallway.
My thundering heart echoed through the empty walls as he dashed me to his room in seconds.
The air gets knocked off my lungs as my back hits the bed, his mouth never leaving mine.
“Jay, I want you,” I mumbled, the heat in my core dripping through my panties. My hands fumbled to pry away his hoodie.
“Oh, not so soon. I plan to have my way with you tonight.” He pressed slow, languid kisses down the side of my face.
“No,” I whined. “Please, I want you so bad.”
“Fine, just because you’re asking so nicely.” He pulled away my sweater and jeans in one quick swipe, leaving me in just my lacy pink underwear.
“Pink, uh?” He swiped his tongue across his lips.
“I thought I’d wear it for the occasion.” I shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant though my ragged breath and heated gaze told a different story. I was so fucking bothered by him.
“Oh.” He smirked. “So you were planning to end up in my bed tonight?”
The flush that heated my skin pebbled my nipples hard against the thin lace of my bra. The gleam in his eyes told me how much his words got to me. But the gleam turned into a hint of sadness as they dragged to the sparkle lying on my chest.
His fingers traced the presents he gave me all those years ago. “I should’ve known,” he said, almost to himself.
“I never took them off.” The ‘J’ pendant and the peony ring were my objects of strength.
He swallowed. “I should’ve known when I saw you wearing them after all this time that you never stopped loving me. I’m sorry.”
“You wouldn’t have known, and it’s not your fault. Now shut up and come here,” I mumbled.
He shook his head, smiling as he threw away his hoodie and swaddled my body with his heat.
“Hmm, you’ve become bossy,” he muttered against my neck, sucking the skin whole. His teeth dragging along in long strokes, I was sure they were going to leave a heavy mark tomorrow.
“Jay,” I groaned, threading my fingers through his soft locks. “I want you, please.”
He pulled back, lips glistening under the dark bedroom lit just by the skyline twinkling through the open window.
His elbows rested on the sides of my ears. “Tell me exactly what you want. Do you want to be fucked or made love to?”
The red in my cheeks deepened. My pulse spiked, hammering in my ears. Feeling a sudden sense of bravery touch me, I whispered, “How about you fuck me all night and then make love to me at sunrise?”
“Fuck,” he gasped, his lips widening as a grin covered his face. “Didn’t expect that, but done,” he mumbled against my lips, sealing the promise.
He gave me a long, tantalizing kiss that I felt deep down in my bones. My drenched panties were making me uncomfortable at this point. I wanted out of them.
“How long can you stay on your knees?” he asked between the kisses. “I want to take you from behind.”
My throat tightened. “Not for long, but I can try.”
He nodded. “Then get naked for me.”
I swallowed as I watched him join me as we peeled off the rest of our clothes till only our bare skin remained.
His large hands grabbed hold of my waist as he pivoted me around. A gasp escaped me as my lips met the softness of the sheets.
My body shivered as he maneuvered me around. He slid a pillow under my hips, prodding me to get into position.
I brought my elbows on either side of my face as I got onto my knees.
“Is this okay?” he asked, sliding a pillow under my right thigh to take the impact off my knee.
“Yes,” I mumbled, wet and ready for him. The vulnerability of it made my fingernails curl around my palms.
“Good.” His hands clasped around my hip as I felt him kneel over me. “’Cause I’m going to fuck you hard.”
I trembled, screaming his name as he delved inside me in one large stroke.
So big and powerful.
I panted, losing my breath as he fucked me hard.
“Fuck,” he grumbled, slamming his hips into me. “Tell me, how does that feel, sweetheart?”
“Ugh.” I squeezed my eyes as the pleasure of his thrusting drove me wild and mad. At this angle, he hit a spot deep inside me that made my toes curl.
He stilled. “I’m not going to continue till you answer.”
“What?” I groaned. My brain tried to recall his question.
“Tell me, how does that feel?” he grunted, thrusting hard with each word till he stilled again.
“Fuck,” I moaned loud. “Good,” I breathed out, trying to meet my hips with his.
“Is that all?” He leaned lower, kissing the small of my back.
My breathing hitched, feeling his cock rubbing me deeper. He still didn’t move.
“Good, very good, Jay. Now please fuck me. I want to come.”
Sharp tingles spread over my ass as he smacked them hard. “If you want to come, arch that back for me. The better you arch, the harder I’ll fuck you, and the sooner you’ll come.”
Fuck. I could feel my heart levitate to my throat at his words. In a haze, I pushed my chest down the mattress, sliding my elbows higher as I curved my back as much as I could.
“Good girl.” His palms cupped my ass, and he started his thrusts at a deep and grueling pace that made me spew out words that didn’t make any fucking sense.
I held on to dear life as he plummeted into me. The sound of our thighs slapping against each other filled the room.
“Fuck. I would give up everything just to fuck that tight pussy every single day,” he rumbled, never slowing down his pace.
My pussy tightened as I fought to catch my breath. My clit pulsed as the built-up pleasure ached to burst open. I brought a finger down to my throbbing clit, strumming as I kept up with his pace.
“You want to come?” He groaned, going faster.
“Yes.” I gasped.
He swatted away my finger and replaced it with his, rubbing my clit in smooth hard circles. “Come,” he commanded.
I screamed as the consuming pleasure blinded the edges of my vision. A plethora of colorful dots dizzied my brain as I tried hard to stay focused. My knees gave out, and my body still didn’t stop coming as I felt his warm seed spill deep inside me as he growled, clutching me tighter to him.
It felt like hours before my breathing returned to a semblance of normality.
“Hey.” He wiped away the sweaty hair sticking to my face as he eased in beside me.
“Hey back,” I beamed, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.
“Drink this.” He handed me a bottle of water. “I wanted you hydrated for tonight, I plan to keep my promise.”
I almost choked on the water at his words. I quickly averted my gaze downward as I chugged it away.
“You ready?” He slipped inside me once again.
This time on my back, I hooked my ankles behind his back as I whispered, “Yes.”