Chapter 14 #3
He burst into a loud laugh, unfazed by my unasked-for behavior. “First, there are no girls on call, with or without an S. Second, I haven’t hooked up with anyone in over a year.”
I’m sure my face must have betrayed my shock. I pressed my lips together, trying to keep my expression neutral. “No need to play it down for me, Mase. You’re free to live your life the way you want. You owe me nothing.”
He took another step forward, invading my personal space.
“Is this what you think? That you dumped me, and I acted out? Because, for all I know, even if we weren’t talking for the last few months, we walked the same high school hallways.
I haven’t been linked to anyone in ages.
You can’t deny it. Even the rumor mills would have confirmed it. ”
“Yeah, right. I’m not some innocent teenager anymore. I don’t care about your extracurricular activities.”
“Well, I do, and the only place my dick has been in over a year is inside my fist.” His eyes seemed to add, Every time I thought about you, and I refrained from reacting.
I did the math in my head, and I was sure he could tell the moment I realized his last hookup was from before we had started spending all our free time together.
“Stop. Ugh. Disgusting. Spare me the details of your anatomy’s whereabouts.
That’s where I draw the line. Anyway, delete this conversation from your brain. ”
“Sorry to disappoint, but I can’t. I wanna know what made you think I was sleeping around in the last year?”
“I heard girls talking about it.”
“Who? Which girls?”
“I’m shutting up now. This conversation has already taken too much of my time. I’m tired and wet, and I wanna go home.”
Mere inches separated our bodies, and I unfolded my arms to avoid us touching.
“Which girls, Mel?”
“Girls on the cheerleading team. Tanya’s minions.” I waved a hand like I didn’t care and was over it. “It’s not important… It was a long time ago. Who cares, right?”
“I do. A whole fucking lot. Because it’s a load of bullshit. I haven’t even as much as kissed a girl in over a year.” He clenched his jaw, and I could see the anger bubbling up inside him.
“Okay. No need to rehash the past. What is done is done. By the way, I would have never tried to change who you were, Mase. I loved you and what we had, and I knew the risk of getting attached to you.”
“You love me?”
“Loved you. Past tense. My crush is over, Mase. It was a stupid high schooler thing. I know better now.” My pulse kicked up at my admission.
I could barely breathe, too stunned by the words leaving my mouth.
Mason would know I had loved him and that I had pushed him away and pretended he never meant anything to me.
That I had lied when I said he was better off without me when he admitted his feelings to me.
We had lost some valuable time together when we could have been by each other’s side all along, and he could have helped me through my struggles like he had asked me to.
“First, I love you too. No past tense.” Love.
“And second, it was all a lie. Whatever these girls said happened never did. It’s important to me you know the truth.
There was only one girl I wanted to be with during those last few months, and it was certainly not Tanya—and even less, her minions.
No matter what, I wouldn’t have touched any of them.
Even my dick agreed.” He huffed. “Just to be extra clear, I haven’t dated anyone since we broke up. ”
“We didn’t break up. Geez, you’re so stubborn. By the way, you’ve never been the dating type, so you not dating anyone means nothing.”
“So we’re speaking the same language, and there is nothing left unsaid between us. You didn’t see me with any other girl at school because I haven’t been with anyone since you.”
“It seems like I’m not the only liar here.”
“The thing, Mel, is that I’m telling the truth. You were the last girl I held in my arms, the last one I danced or shared a bed with. The last pussy I touched. My life has circled around football, and football only, since you flushed me out of your life like an old pair of socks.”
“Don’t say things like that.”
“Like what? The truth? You want me to lie to you?”
I shook my head and exhaled. “No, but...”
“But what?”
“I thought—or rather, I hoped—you were over us. Have been for a long time.”
“Then, think again. There’s unfinished business between us, and until I have the certainty we are truly over, I won’t move on.”
I snorted. “This is stupid.”
“Not in my playbook.”
“We would never work. Better to move on now than lose precious time finding the one, Mase.”
“Mel, do you want me to move on?”
“That’s not the point. I’m not the boss of you.”
“Keep telling yourself that. I once told you I was in love with you…that I’ve been for years. Since I was eleven years old, to be precise. I don’t see that changing in the near future.”
“You can’t say things like that to me.”
“It’s a free country, so yes, I can. Do whatever pleases you with that piece of information. I gotta go. See you around.”
“Mase—”
We stared at the other for the longest time.
As if we were seeing each other for the very first time.
I could tell from the way he swept his lips with his tongue and scratched his temple that he was swallowing every piece of information we’d just shared.
We were being brutally honest with each other for once, maybe a little too much.
“We’ll finish this conversation another time. I really need to get to practice now. Let me drive you to your place.”
I looked away. “I don’t want to—”
“I never pictured you as a coward.”