Chapter 6 Samurai culture, of course
Leah and Gabe didn’t mention their conversation again that weekend. When Leah went to bed that night after Shira’s confession, Leah and Gabe scrolled through Netflix while cuddling. They chose some movie whose name Leah couldn’t remember and then both fell asleep before getting to the climax.
On Saturday they went out to brunch with Shira and then went apple picking at a nearby orchard. In the evening, they had dinner with Leah’s parents where the most controversial topic was whether the chicken had enough salt on it. Savannah thought it did, but Leah did not.
Saturday evening, they went out to a small bar that Leah had remembered from growing up. She had walked by it so many times as a teenager, always thinking how fun it would be when she was old enough to go there herself. Now that she could enter legally, she was happy to order a cocktail and sit with Gabe while music flowed around the crowd. She recognized a few people from her high school, there was her old math teacher and a few people from her grade. They said hello politely, but no one really had any interest in conversation. Neither did Leah, she’d rather listen to Gabe talk about why he’d always wanted to travel to Asia, Japan specifically, but hadn’t yet had the chance.
“It’s mostly because I’m interested in the food,” he said. “And the samurai culture, of course.”
By the time they had gone back to Leah’s parent’s house, Leah too thought Japan might be an interesting place to visit one day.
The next morning, they woke up to the smell of Savannah’s French toast. “Get coffee and a plate,” she ordered them once they made their way to the kitchen.
They ate and drank their coffee and everyone got ready to go without any mention of their destination. But Leah felt it like a brick on her heart. She hadn’t been to her temple in years. Once, it had been her home away from home. She had gone to pre-school there and then Sunday school. When she was 13, she had her bat mitzvah there. Then, when she was active in her Jewish youth group, the B’nai Brith Youth Organization, she attended weekly meetings at the temple. Plenty of events and dances took place there. She knew every inch of the temple, had memories in every room.
Rabbi Daniel had been there all along. He had done her bat mitzvah and her confirmation when she was 16. She thought he was young then, cool and handsome for a rabbi, and she, like everyone, wanted his approval. She knew he was proud of her and her commitment to Judaism. How could she face him now?
Leah sat in the passenger seat and Gabe in the back as Savannah drove them to the temple. She parked and they walked toward the gated building where the security guard greeted them and let them in.
Even though Leah knew exactly where they were going, she let her mom lead her and Gabe to Rabbi Daniel’s office. It was opposite an outdoor courtyard in front of the temple. They had to walk through the temple, from the back through the pews toward the bima where the Rabbi and Cantor stood when they led services. Where Leah stood for her bat mitzvah and many other occasions before and after.
The bima had two podiums on the sides of a huge wooden ark where the sacred Torah scrolls were housed. The ark was decorated with carvings of the ten commandments and plated with gold that Leah had always wondered if it was real or not. On the side of the ark, was a door at the back of the bima, which led to Rabbi Daniel’s office. It was where Leah had met with him before her bat mitzvah to work on her speech and her Torah reading. He had been so proud of her then.
“Savannah!” He said with a giant smile when she rapped on the open door frame. “And Leah! Look how mature you are!”
He held out his arm to give Savannah a friendly shake and then took Leah’s hand in his. “I’ve heard you are doing amazing things in the city!” he said with a wink and then he looked at Gabe. “With whom do I have the pleasure?”
“I’m Gabe,” he introduced himself with a firm handshake.
“Nice to meet you,” Rabbi Daniel said and offered everyone a seat. “I hear mazel tov is in order.” He said it with such happiness, that Leah was sure he didn’t know the point of this meeting was to discuss conversion.
“Thank you, yes,” Savannah said. “That’s why we’re here. Gabe, you see, is interested in converting to Judaism before their wedding.”
“I see,” Rabbi Daniel looked at Gabe. “That is quite a big decision to make. We should discuss. Savannah, would you give me some time with the happy couple?”
At first, Savannah looked offended, as though she were every bit a part of the union as Leah and Gabe were, but her face softened and she agreed to step out. Once she closed the door behind her, Rabbi Daniel took a deep breath and smiled.
“So, tell me a little about your relationship,” he said.
It wasn’t what Leah had been expecting him to ask behind his closed door, and the question brought her relief. She looked at Gabe, who held her hand between their chairs, and they smiled at each other.
“We first met on the subway the day I moved to Manhattan,” Leah started. She recounted the story, how she had just moved into her apartment and was going to a single’s event at the Chabad. A homeless man was singing and she had mistakenly smiled at him. She would never do something like that now that she was an experienced Manhattanite! Anyway, the homeless man then got angry that she didn’t give him money and Gabe saved her, with a dollar and a charming smile. Coincidentally, they ran into each other later that night and had a beer with their friends.
“What a great story!” Rabbi Daniel enthused. “Now, tell me about your relationship now. What do you like to do together, how do you make each other happy, what do you love about each other?” He looked at Gabe as though it was now his turn to talk.
“Well, we like experiencing things together,” Gabe said. “New foods, new places, new experiences. I love that Leah is interested in trying things and that she is so ambitious and smart. I love that she is adventurous and can be silly sometimes. And she is beautiful, of course.”
Leah blushed. She didn’t even know Gabe thought of her like that. She was adventurous!? Silly?
“I love how intelligent Gabe is and how thoughtful. I love how he treats me and thinks about me. He’s also kind and also very ambitious and he makes me adventurous. He exposes me to things I never would have tried before.”
“Beautiful,” Rabbi Daniel said. “It sounds like you two are really b’shert . Gabe, do you know what that means?”
Gabe shook his head.
“Meant to be,” Rabbi Daniel translated. “Now, let’s talk about the future. How do you see your relationship, and upcoming marriage in the next five years?”
Leah and Gabe looked at each other again. The previous questions were so easy. This one was not.
“I think that’s our challenge,” Gabe said.
“Yes, for all couples it is a challenge,” Rabbi Daniel said. “But I don’t want to hear about what you’ve agreed upon or discussed. I want to hear what each of you want. Gabe, would you like to start?”
Gabe cleared his throat and looked at Leah one more time before staring straight at Rabbi Daniel. “Well, I want us to stay the same,” he said. “We have fun together, we enjoy each other, we challenge each other. I want that to continue for the rest of my life.”
“That’s wonderful, but what about the type of home you want to create with Leah?” the rabbi asked. “Because you understand, that’s what makes marriage different than a relationship. In a relationship, you do all the things you just mentioned. In a marriage, those things continue, of course, but you also build a home.”
Gabe stared straight ahead even though Leah was looking at him. “I don’t know,” he said. “I guess I want a warm home with a lot of love.”
“Are there traditions you want to incorporate? Happy memories from your childhood? What about children?” the rabbi pried.
“Yeah, I mean, I had a happy childhood, and I would want to bring some of those things forward,” Gabe said. “I never really thought about being a father though.”
“Most men don’t think about it until they meet the right person,” the rabbi said. “What about now? That you found your b’shert ? Do you think about raising children?”
“Sure, maybe, I guess, I can see it happening,” he admitted and Leah wanted to jump for joy. Gabe did want children! With her!
“And how would you raise them?” Rabbi Daniel asked. When Gabe shrugged, the rabbi continued. “Would you want to share your religious upbringing with them?”
“I don’t know, maybe some parts of it?” Gabe said it like a question.
“Good, it’s good to start thinking about these things,” Rabbi Daniel said. “Leah, your turn.”
It was Leah’s turn to avoid Gabe’s eyes while he looked at her and she looked at her rabbi. “I want a Jewish home and to raise Jewish children,” she said. “I’m not against incorporating things from Gabe’s religion, but I want the kids to be Jewish.”
“I understand,” Rabbi Daniel said. “Would you mind if I speak to Gabe alone? Savannah said this conversation was about conversion. That’s a very personal decision for Gabe and I think he should make that decision independently.”
Leah looked at Gabe and nodded. He squeezed her hand, and she slipped outside. She was tempted to stand with her ear against the door and try to listen, the way she would listen to the student practicing his Torah portion with the rabbi before she did, but she knew better. So she walked back through the temple and out to the courtyard where the kids attending Sunday school were out taking a break. Some played soccer or handball. Others were climbing on the small jungle gym. Groups of girls sat around making bracelets and talking.
“Rabbi Daniel has always been so wonderful to you,” Savannah said, startling Leah who hadn’t seen her.
Leah agreed. She had always respected him and believed him to be wise and enlightened because of his position. Would he convince Gabe to convert? Or would he convince him to end their engagement? What would the rabbi say about choosing an interfaith path? All she could do was wait to see when Gabe emerged.