6. Azrael
SIX
AZRAEL
S omething kicked my face, and I shook my head and myself awake. To a light so bright it stung my eyes.
Fudge.
I turned away from the light source, coming right through the window, and waited for my eyesight to adjust before I searched for the person who’d kicked my face.
Yeah, not a person. A dog.
“Clover! Tanga! I’m on your side.”
But he didn’t react. He didn’t respond to his name or to me calling him an idiot. He was fast asleep, back legs kicking like he was in an MMA fight.
I had to admit, I didn’t think sleeping with the stalker dog would be feasible, but it had been quite calming, if not a little too warm for comfort.
Heck, I’d even get used to getting kicked awake if I could do it again. He was adorable, just like his rescuer.
Huh? Adorable? Where had that come from? I mean, it wasn’t a lie, but still. I’d never thought of any guy I met as adorable, but then again, I hadn’t been around many guys that could be considered adorable.
“Hey! Sleepyhead. Wake up!” I shook Clover.
He blinked with difficulty at first, and then he was on all fours as if he’d been caught with his pants down and was making up for it by pretending nothing had happened.
“Asong tulala.” I chuckled and pulled the comforter away to get up.
What even was the time?
I reached for my phone and Clover went for my hand, nipping playfully at it.
Shoot.
It was a little past nine. How had I slept so long? Especially considering we’d retreated to our bedrooms at, like, nine last night?
How embarrassing to be so late on my first day at the sanctuary. I got dressed in record time. A shower could wait until I’d made up for my lateness.
When I got to the door, Clover stepped on something yellow that stuck to his paw and sent him in a frenzy around the room.
It took a couple of minutes before I managed to catch him and grab the Post-it Note.
I have an appointment. Sorry to leave you alone. Should be back by ten. Feel free to rummage through my fridge and cupboards. All the yumminess, no secrets .
It was a very Duke thing to write, which took me by surprise after only knowing for less than a day, but it was like he spoke the words aloud. His handwriting was neat and small, unlike anything I’d seen from a doctor, although, granted, Duke was a vet.
So even though it was a long note, there was plenty of space left.
He was such a strange little human, and I was acting stranger for wanting to know more about him.
I sighed and went down to the kitchen, where Clover immediately found a bowl of kibble and I located sliced bread and jam. I made short work of putting the bread in the toaster and getting a plate out.
The jam smelled amazing. It was a blueberry jam in a little glass mason jar labeled Very Berry Jam from a place called Dare’s Farm, which seemed to be located on the island.
I sat at the table with three slathered slices and a cup of warm coffee and closed my eyes.
“Bless us, Lord, and these gifts we are about to receive through Christ, our Lord. Amen.”
I bit into my toast and almost let out an orgasmic moan. Good thing Duke wasn’t here to catch me, or he would’ve had something to say about that, for sure.
“What do you think, Clover? Should we get to work?” I asked the dog when I was done and cleaned up my mess.
He followed me to the basement, where there were a couple of volunteers. An older guy with salt-and-pepper hair and glasses that a day ago I would have mistaken for Duke and a younger woman with long blonde hair with pink highlights.
“Oh, hello there,” she said when she saw me. “You must be the new volunteer Duke told us about.”
“Morning. I’m Azrael.” I shook her hand and gave her my best smile.
She was gorgeous, with beautiful gray eyes and a cute smile.
If these were the kind of volunteers that came through this place, then this would be a great time. A very berry great time indeed.
“I’m Madison, and this is Jake. We both help out here on a regular basis.”
“Pleasure to meet you both. And I’m sorry I’m late. My alarm failed me this morning.”
The man Madison had called Jake chuckled and shook his head.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s all good.”
“So…how can I help?”
Madison glanced at Jake and pursed her lips.
“We’re good, really. If you want, you can wait for Duke to show you around. He has a system.”
Of course he did.
“Surely there’s a way to be useful.” I hated sitting back and acting like a tourist when I was supposed to be helping.
“You could sanitize the tables? But honestly, it’s okay. We’ve got it.”
I winked at her, grabbed the sanitary wipes conveniently placed at the end of one of the tables, and started wiping. No point slacking on my first day.
“Great. We’ll go take care of the feedings, but honestly, don’t feel like you have to go all out. It’s only your first day,” Madison insisted, and I gave her a thumbs-up.
“Give us a shout if you need anything,” Jake said and went outside with her, leaving me alone with Clover.
It was terribly quiet without anyone around. But it also gave me an idea. Maybe I couldn’t do anything to help out around the farm, but there was a thing I could do.
“So, Clover,” I told him after I was done sanitizing all the tables. “What do you say? Should we snoop?”
Clover stared at me with his tongue hanging out.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
I looked back at the door Jake and Madison had used to go out to the farm and retreated to the other side, where there was another door.
I pushed the handle down, and just like Duke had said, it was unlocked. Always unlocked.
“Oh, Duke, Duke, Duke,” I muttered under my breath.
While the exam room was clean and ordered, the office was the exact opposite. A perfect chaotic mess of paperwork and dust.
But I wouldn’t have expected anything else from the guy who rescued animals for a living. It was clear what he was good at and paperwork was not it.
“And that’s why you’re in trouble,” I said to myself.
Clover stared at me.
“What?” I asked him before turning the light on and going through things. This was going to be quite the challenge.
At some point, I had to cut my research short, especially as more volunteers turned up and were given jobs to do, which only made me feel worse for not contributing more physically.
I managed to make myself useful by making everyone snacks like sandwiches and sweet tea, which Duke had in abundance.
After I brought the trays of food back up to the main floor, I heard the door open and Clover went berserk, running out of the kitchen.
As expected, when I followed him, I found he’d gone berserk for no other than the man of the hour—no, decade, actually—Duke himself.
Duke cast a glance at him and gave a half-hearted smile, which was when I fully noticed his face.
“Hey. You’re right, you know,” I said.
He raised his head but didn’t really look at me. More in my general direction.
“Hey,” he replied.
Something was wrong. I could tell something was wrong. He wasn’t…himself, which I realized was rich coming from a guy who didn’t know him from Adam, but…he wasn’t okay.
“Did you get lost?” Maybe some levity would help.
It didn’t.
Duke ignored my joke and slumped on the sofa. Max, who had spent most of the morning in my company in the kitchen, climbed up beside him and rested his head on Duke’s lap with the same cheerful disposition as his owner.
“Is…is everything okay?” I sat on the armrest and watched as Clover made a fuss over Duke that wasn’t reciprocated.
Duke nodded.
“Life’s peachy,” he answered.
It didn’t look that way, but I couldn’t push. I barely knew the guy. It’d be rude to prod even though that was exactly what I wanted to do.
“Would you like something to eat? I just made some food for the guys downst?—”
“I’m fine.”
It didn’t look like I’d get anything out of him, not even a glance, so I did the next best thing. I sat beside him—Max in between us—and just breathed.
Maybe he needed time, and the best I could do was give it to him. But I was also here to protect him, and I couldn’t help but feel it was my responsibility to be there for him when he was ready.
So until he was, I could do nothing but stay quiet, stroke Max, and ignore Clover’s puppy endeavors.
I didn’t know how much time had passed, but when I heard a sniffle, I turned to find Duke in tears.
“Duke, what happened? Are you in pain?”
He ignored my question, wiped his face and snotty nose, and turned to me with a fake smile.
“I was right about what?” he asked instead.
“That can wait. You’re clearly not well.”
“I’m fine, Azrael. What am I right about?”
I stared at him in that state, red eyes, wet nose, stained cheeks, and I felt a pang in my stomach, like a gut punch. It was horrible, seeing a guy like him broken down like that. And for whatever reason, I felt responsible. As if I’d brought that into his life, whatever it was.
“I…um…” I cleared my throat, checked that no one was at the staircase, and licked my lips. “I went into the office while you were out. I thought maybe I’d make sense of things, but I didn’t get very far. Your invoicing system sucks though. You need to keep better track.”
It felt wrong to put him down when he was like that, but what else could I do? At least he was talking to me.
“Yeah. I thought I’d tidy up, but then again, I didn’t want anyone to suspect anything, so I just…left it.”
He choked on the last word but tried to hide it by turning away from me for a second. But when he looked back, I saw a fresh tear running down his face.
I wish he would confide in me, but that was too much to ask of a guy he’d just met.
“Yeah, that’s a good idea. Although…”
“Although?”
“I’m confused. How did you end up in this mess?”
He shrugged.
“Running a sanctuary is expensive. I didn’t realize how expensive until I was drowning in debt. So when this guy turned up and told me he’d help erase my debt and keep the lights on around here, I…I jumped at the opportunity. Because I’m stupid.”
“And you’ve never met him?”
He shook his head.
“Nope. Just emails and the occasional phone call. I’ve only met his lawyer.”
Was it stupid of him to hand over half his business to a guy he didn’t know and never met? Yeah, yes, it was. Would I have done things differently? Most definitely. Could I judge him?
Well, the Bible said don’t judge lest you be judged. So I couldn’t, even if I wanted to. Truth be told, before I met Duke, I thought only a crazy guy would do what he did. Now that I had…I could understand.
I hadn’t needed to know the guy long to realize he was devoted to his work, to his animals. It was easy to see how a guy who was more at home with dogs would completely miss human red flags, especially if it meant saving his sanctuary.
“Don’t sweat it, Azrael. You can say it. I’m an idiot. A class-A idiot.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you were thinking it.”
I shook my head.
“Well, then I was.” He closed his eyes and arched his head back with a groan. “Why me, God. Why?”
I pursed my lips, took a deep breath, and grabbed his hand.
“Hey, it’ll be okay.”
Duke jumped as if he’d forgotten I was there, as if he hadn’t expected me to touch him.
“No, it won’t,” he said.
I squeezed his hand tighter and stared at his intense blue eyes harder.
“Yes, it will. I’m here now. You’re not alone, okay?”
He watched me back but didn’t say anything. Only his eyes turned shinier, the lights above reflected in his tears.
“Okay,” he whispered after a few moments, and I breathed a little easier.
He squeezed my hand back, and right there, in the middle of my chest, was a pinch under the skin. I’d felt it yesterday, but this time, it was stronger. So strong I instinctively put my hand where I felt it.
What was that all about?