11. Duke
ELEVEN
DUKE
H ow had I gotten myself into this situation?
How had I ended up living with a walking, breathing sex dream, potentially running a money-laundering sanctuary, and on top of that, with a straight guy practically begging to fuck me?
Okay, maybe the begging part is a little bit projecting, but the rest is as true as it gets.
If I had read this scenario in a book or watched it in a movie, I would have cried bullshit and thrown the book or TV across the room as a form of protest for shoving unrealistic crap down my throat.
Yet, here I am. In the middle of this story.
“Make a list! Pfft!” I muttered and threw a piece of paper away from me.
Max raised his head, followed the trajectory of my latest paper ball, and then went back to sleep.
Even he knew I was being pathetic.
“Don’t judge me,” I told him, but he didn’t even open his eyes. “It’s not easy. How am I supposed to make a list of what I want? I don’t know what I want. That’s why I’m a virgin. And why a list? What am I? A grocery store?”
I stared at my dog as if he would answer me, and when he didn’t, I fell back into bed. I was supposed to be sleeping. I was always in bed by nine, ten at the latest. With the sanctuary, I couldn’t afford to stay up late, or it would affect the next day, which would affect my next sleep cycle, and so on. I’d worked so hard to get my sleep schedule right so I could do my dream job.
Yet here I was, closing in on one in the morning, trying to figure out what I wanted for my first time.
“Maybe I should just forget about it. It’s too complicated.”
Somehow, that made me feel better. Knowing I could just change my mind and not go through with it.
Yeah. I’ll just tell Azrael I don’t want to do it anymore.
I took a deep breath, gave Max another scratch, and closed my eyes, forgetting about losing my virginity.
If only someone could have told my brain that because all my dreams were centered around…well, dick.
It was no surprise I woke up tired the next day, dragging my feet everywhere. At least I didn’t have any clients to see. I may not get days off, but Sundays were the closest thing to it.
“So? How are you getting on?” Azrael asked me that evening after feeding cats and dogs and locking up for the day.
“Oh.” I turned away from him and took the stairs to the main floor. He followed close behind me. “It’s fine. I don’t…I don’t want to do it anymore.”
A hand grabbed me by the shoulder and turned me around. I almost lost my balance on the stairs, but Azrael held me steady.
“Why? What happened?”
“Nothing. I just…” His stare pierced through me, and even though I had every intention of lying… “I don’t know what I want, okay? Making the list was stressing me out more than doing the damn thing, so I’d rather?—”
“Then forget the list,” he said. I frowned.
“What?”
“Forget the list. I only suggested it to help you make the best of it. If it’s too stressful or doesn’t help, forget it.”
I nodded and turned back around.
“I didn’t mean to forget about doing it. Do you still want to lose your virginity?”
I stopped at the top of the stairs and glanced at him. I offered him a shrug because that was all I could manage.
“Okay then. Give me half an hour and…and meet me in the living room.”
Boy, he really wanted to fuck me, didn’t he? Maybe he wasn’t as straight as he claimed to be.
Or maybe I was pathetic enough that even a straight guy felt sorry for me.
“Okay. I…I’ll go get changed, I guess.”
Although change into what, I had no idea.
As if he could read my mind, Azrael piped up and took my hand in his.
“Just have a shower and put your PJs on. You don’t need anything fancy. Just put on what you wear to bed.”
I huffed.
“Huh. Sucks for you. I wear nothing to bed.”
He smirked.
“What a coincidence! Me too.” He looked at me and then smiled, squeezing my hand. “Go on.”
Before I knew what was happening, his lips were on mine, and I held my breath.
It didn’t last longer than a second, but boy, did it set my body on fire.
A fire that shot through me like a hurricane, leaving me stiff and breathless.
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. How pathetic. He gets horny from the chastest of chaste kisses.
Well, I do.
Sue me.
It was actually Azrael turning my body a full one-eighty that made me find my senses again. And then I just lost them again when he…
When he slapped my butt.
“Go on. Get!” he added.
I swallowed a knot in my throat and walked away, hoping he couldn’t see how ridiculous I was.
When I entered my bedroom, I actually locked it behind me. Don’t ask me why. I had no idea. The ghost of his kiss still lingered on my lips. It didn’t matter that he’d barely touched them and there’d been no meaning or passion behind the kiss. I still felt it on me like an imprint.
“Damn. I’m about to lose my virginity,” I said to the empty room because Max wasn’t there and because I was that weird.
The room naturally didn’t answer back. Thank God. I didn’t need delusion on top of everything.
“Right.” I stopped leaning against the door and got to work. More specifically, I jumped in the shower.
A boy had to be clean before he gave himself to someone. Right?
I scrubbed everywhere I could, thrice, before I dried off, brushed my teeth, and went through my pajama options.
Did I wear my llama PJs or The Flash PJs? Which was less pathetic?
Neither? Well, that’s rude.
I went with the rainbow PJs because that was also an option and I was going to be doing…rainbowy things, and then I picked the underwear that looked the newest.
Shopping wasn’t my forte, and I didn’t like fast fashion, so I always wore everything until it couldn’t be worn no more. But that wouldn’t do tonight. I couldn’t turn up for my first official fucking in tattered boxers with holes over the taint, could I?
Actually, don’t answer that. I know.
Half an hour later, I opened the door and made my way downstairs. And if you were curious, yes, I did have to wait a whole fifteen minutes because I got ready way too fast. No, I wasn’t eager. I wasn’t eager. At. All.
The first thing I noticed was the lighting. It was dim and flickering, and soon, it became obvious why. There were candles lit on every coffee table— and if you’re wondering how many there are, that’s three —and a few on top of the old piano my uncle used to play. It wasn’t a lot, but it was ambient.
Azrael was sitting on the sofa in a loose-fitting tank top and a pair of shorts. His look was completed by a pair of white socks. The mere sight of his hairy bare legs stole my breath away. I’d never been alone in such close proximity with a man in this state of undress.
“Hi,” he said, and I smiled, biting my lip in the process.
“What is all this?” I looked around the room again, taking it all in and breathing deeply.
“It’s nothing. I thought I’d set the mood.”
Oh, he thought he’d set the mood. Nothing more normal than a straight guy setting the mood for a gay fucking.
“Okay,” I replied.
He stared at me with that beautiful smile, and I didn’t think he’d ever looked more irresistible than now. He looked so…chill and casual. And most importantly, he looked like he belonged here.
In fact, this whole scene, with him sprawled all over my couch with candles lighting the room, looked very domestic. I wanted to pinch myself, but I didn’t for fear of looking like an idiot. And hurting myself.
“Wh-where are the dogs?” I searched for them to give myself something to do but still felt his gaze on me, burning my skin, scorching me whole.
“Safe and sound in my room.”
I nodded, and he patted the space beside him.
“I don’t bite,” he said.
“I might,” I mumbled and rolled my eyes.
What a time to be a comedian.
Good job, Duke.
“I don’t mind. As long as you don’t do it too hard.”
I frowned, and Azrael’s smile deepened.
“Sorry,” I apologized. Not really sure why, but it felt right.
“You’re nervous.”
“Am not!” I said way too confidently. But Azrael saw right through that.
He got on his feet and took my hands.
“Come on. Let’s watch a movie,” he said.
“A movie?”
Azrael moved one hand to my head and fixed a stray hair or something. How did I know? I couldn’t see myself. But he did it so gently, so naturally, that it only made the domesticity of this moment more intense.
It made him feel like a boyfriend rather than a one-time-fuck, and I didn’t know what to make of that.
“A movie, yes. Is that so weird?”
“I thought we were doing the great debauching of Duke,” I said, too lost in the moment to control my tongue.
But hey, at least it made Azrael laugh.
“No one is debauching anyone. We’re just…two friends watching a movie. Nothing scary about that, right?”
I nodded slowly, and Azrael took the opportunity to drag me to the couch and sit me down.
“The major thing I want is for you to be comfortable. So if we have to watch five Marvel movies for it to happen, so be it.”
I snapped my head around. “How did you know I like Marvel?”
Azrael narrowed his eyes before raising an eyebrow.
“You think I haven’t noticed your socks?”
I looked down at my feet, but I had opted for a pair of rainbow socks to match the pajamas.
“In general,” he added, and I grimaced again.
“My socks are DC, thank you very much.”
He rolled his eyes with a grin. “Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but he covered it with his palm, and my soul left my body. Like utter decimation.
Breathing became hard again, as did swallowing or blinking.
“I’m just messing with you. Now stop complaining and watch a movie with me, Duke.”
I nodded with his hand still on my mouth and he pressed play before he let me go and immediately turned his attention to the TV.
It took a bit longer to do the same because I was frozen in place, too helpless to look at anything but him.
Was I really about to… watch a movie with this hunk of a man?
“Eyes on the screen, dude!” he said and gently pushed my head around to face the TV.
He’d opted for the first Avengers movie—fantastic choice—but I couldn’t find it in me to enjoy it. Not even when Tom Hiddleston showed up, all dark and sinister.
“You know, this is actually only my second time watching this. I didn’t even remember Loki is the main vi—” he started when I grabbed his face, turned him to me, and fused my mouth to his.
But whatever courage I’d found deserted me, and I stayed still while lip-locked, waiting for him to shove me away, turn around in disgust, or show me how undesirable I was.
But he didn’t.
Instead, he opened his mouth and deepened the kiss, one of his hands finding the back of my neck, the other grabbing the collar of my top.
And I was still too stunned to respond. Too awed to even reciprocate.
All I could do was taste him on my tongue, a light, minty flavor that set my taste buds on fire.
He was kissing me.
He. Was. Kissing. Me.
Shit. Azrael was kissing me.
Before he thought I’d turned into an ancient Greek column or something equally nutty, I placed my hand on the back of his neck and set my own tongue in motion.
Was it my imagination, or did that make him smile?
Was there anything that didn’t make this guy smile? He was like a human version of a golden retriever.
“Is this okay?” he whispered, pulling away just enough to talk but not far enough to separate our smooshed faces.
“Uh-huh,” I grunted, and he went back to kissing me, back to darting his tongue into my mouth, back to pressing me against him.
With each lash of his tongue, a shiver went down my spine. Each lash made my internal temperature rise a few degrees until I was certain I was as hot as the sun.
Even though I was surely too hot to handle at this point, he didn’t let me go. If anything, I found myself lying on my back with Azrael lying on his side beside me, glued to my mouth, to my body.
Okay. It’s time to wake up now.
Now.
What about now?
Surely, I was bound to wake up any time now and realize this was all the figment of a vivid REM sleep cycle.
No?
Really?
The hand that had been hooked around my collar flattened against my chest, and he rubbed it along my sides, my nipples getting hard under his touch.
And it wasn’t the only thing that got hard.
My cock was like a fucking rocket, tenting my pajama bottoms, ready to launch into the moon. Hopefully, he hadn’t noticed. How embarrassing.
Although…
Why was that embarrassing?
Wasn’t that the point of what we were doing? To turn me on and fuck me into oblivion?
This was the Great Big Fucking of Duke Allen, DVM.
And if you’re about to whip out the ol’ Google search bar, let me save you a typing. Doctor of Veterinary Medicine. There. You learned something new today. And you’re not the only one.
I’m about to learn something of my own.
I decided I’d played opossum long enough, so I brought my hand forward from his neck to his face and felt another smile.
Jeez, this guy.
But when I tried to move my other hand, buried between my body and his, it got caught on something hard.
What the fuck?
I pulled harder, and only when I’d unearthed it did I realize what it’d been caught on.
“I’m sorry.” I winced.
“What for?” he asked, raising his leg slightly to rest it on mine before he ground against me.
And…
Yep. That was, in fact, his dick.
Shit. It was hard as a rock. And now that it was grinding against me, it felt awfully big.
How the hell was I supposed to take that up my…?
A moan escaped my lips, and Azrael smiled again. Of course he did. The sadist.
“Are you okay?” He pulled away with narrowed eyes and puffy lips.
I nodded.
“I’m fine,” I answered and glanced down at his…rod. “And so are you from the feel of it.”
He grinned.
“Yeah. And to think I was worried about getting hard.”
I craned my neck back and grimaced.
“You were?”
He shrugged.
“I was but a little gay porn proved very educational and reassuring.”
I frowned as he ground against me as if trying to prove a point.
“Um…are you sure you’re straight?”
He didn’t answer. Instead, he kissed the side of my face, behind my ear, down my neck, and soon, I didn’t care about his answer.
If he wanted to live in denial a little longer, who was I to stop him? Although it was hard to imagine him being in any sort of denial considering our compromising position and how hard he was against me.
So what’s a boy to do other than close his eyes and enjoy being humped and lavished with kisses by the gayest straight guy to ever walk the earth.
Or this house, anyway.
As he sucked on my neck, his hand on my chest navigated down to my stomach. The act sent shivers to my core. My cock pulsed. I gasped.
But when the hand pressed down on my crotch, I didn’t just gasp. I moaned like a fucking porn star.
Fuck!
My body didn’t feel my own anymore. I was so hot, tense, and on edge that I felt possessed. Possessed or transcendent. Whichever was the least freaky.
What? I’m too busy being fondled to think straight.
“Is this okay?” he asked, wrapping his hand around my erection, over the fabric of the pajamas, not that it mattered because he might as well be touching my bare skin with how supercharged I felt.
“Fuck yeah,” I mumbled, which gave him all the encouragement he needed to slip his hand under the waistband and take my literal breath away.
I bucked my hips and squeezed my eyes as he held my real bare cock, doing my absolute best not to come undone right there and then.
This has got to be a dream. There’s no other explanation. There’s no way Azrael is actually touching me right now.
I was convinced it was a dream when his kisses moved from my neck to my chest. When he lifted my top and planted soft kisses on my belly. When he pulled my pants down and exposed my hard, pulsing cock.
And then his tongue? Oh, his tongue lashed at the skin of my shaft and my brain turned to mush.
There was nothing I could do but sink further into nirvana as he took me in his mouth. His head bobbed as he sucked me, and I throbbed. My stomach clenched. My hands tightened into fists, and I gasped.
He looked up, and I caught his soft, innocent almost-brown gaze and the way he still appeared to be smiling even with my cock in his mouth, and I lost all control.
I didn’t get a chance to warn him. I shot my load and writhed under his touch while doing it.
“Fuck!” I managed to groan after a few long, heavenly moments. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
I pulled myself back to a sitting position, and Azrael looked back at me with a blank expression, like he couldn’t believe what I’d just done, a drop of my cum running down the side of his mouth.
“I’m so…” I repeated, my cheeks feeling hotter than the rest of my body. I looked away from him. “I’m such an idiot. I’m sorry.”
How could I be so stupid? How could I be so pathetic? What kind of man comes so fucking easily, without warning, without even going that far? How ridiculous was I?
I’m a stupid little virgin boy who can’t even do sex right.
Jeez.
“I’m sorry,” I said again before I ran to my room. Away from further embarrassment, away from the shell-shocked Azrael, and away from whatever had just happened.