Chapter 37
ONLY THE BEGINNING
“What’s for dinner, Mom?” Gracie asked three days later.
“I was thinking burgers,” Arden said. She had ground beef in the fridge still. That and pork chops, but her daughter wasn’t a huge fan of that.
She wasn’t in the mood for arguments. Not with the week she’d had.
“Fries too?”
“Yes, we can have fries.”
“Is Dr. Blaze coming tonight?”
He’d been there every night, but not once had Gracie seen him. Maybe tonight wouldn’t hurt.
“I can ask him,” she said. “He’s at work right now and you know he gets out later.”
“I want to see him,” Gracie said. “He’s your boyfriend. I want him to know that I know.”
She smiled. “He knows, but I’ll pass it along. You know, you can call him Blaze, not Dr. Blaze, like you were before.” Like her daughter had slipped a few times before her bike was stolen. She hated to think they had to warm her back up again because there was a trauma in her life.
“But he’s a doctor.”
The smile was still tugging at her lips. “He is, but outside of the ER he’s just Blaze to me. He can be to you too.”
“Okay,” Gracie said. Should have said that before. Maybe she was just making more out of it.
She pulled into her garage, the new bike up against the wall where it now was taking up residence when not in use.
Gracie got over her sadness when her new bike was a little bigger. Not what she wanted to do, but she’d grow into it and all she wanted was to wipe out the memories of it being missing.
To her little girl, it was a thing of the past.
To her, it felt like only the beginning.
The dread driving to work. Waiting for security to come get her, which felt ridiculous though she knew it wasn’t.
All day looking over her shoulder, the visits to the ER to at least see Blaze once, even if it was at the end of her shift.
Playing it up, Maddy said.
Only it wasn’t play to her.
It was relief.
That he was there in front of her. A reminder of the strength she learned to lean on.
Something she’d missed for so long in her life from a man.
Having it now was like a weight lifted until she remembered the reason she was seeing more of him than how a normal relationship should progress.
Even the fear of them falling for each other due to the nature of the events in her life.
Then she had to remind herself that she shouldn’t be looking for everything wrong when so much with Blaze was right.
“I’m going to change and then get dinner started.”
“I want to ride my bike,” Gracie said.
“Maybe after dinner.”
Though she knew damn well Blaze would have something to say about it. She’d have to stay in front of the house and not leave the sight of her home.
She ran up the stairs, changed quickly, then came back and unpacked her daughter’s backpack, cleaned out the lunch bag, and started on dinner.
She picked up her phone, sent a picture of dinner to Blaze so he knew she’d have dinner for him when he got in later. Gracie wants to see you tonight.
There would be no reply and she didn’t expect it. He’d be done in ninety minutes unless unavoidable. And since she knew Clay was watching the house along with her getting alerts on her phone, she’d be fine like she’d been when he was gone.
For a guy who took a lot of extra shifts, he said he wasn’t doing it now until this was done. He didn’t want to be away from her on the weekends unless he was working, and he had the next few off.
Once she and Gracie finished dinner and Arden cleaned up, she opened the garage door to kill some time and let her daughter ride.
Billy had actually texted her two days ago to ask if there was any update. If things were getting better or not.
She didn’t know if he cared or needed reassurance to not push his sliding control.
It was best to keep things civil. She couldn’t risk any other strife in her life.
She pulled her phone out and captured Gracie riding her bike in a little video. “Tell Dad Hi,” she said. “You wanted him to see your new bike.”
If Gracie hadn’t brought it up the first day, then she wouldn’t have considered this. Gracie looked up from the driveway, then turned around and yelled, “Hi, Dad.”
The minute she sent it, she got up off the porch step. “I forgot to stop for the mail. You can ride down while I grab it.”
It was still close enough to see her place. There were other people out on this beautiful mid-August evening too.
She grabbed her mail from the box, then shut it and turned, Gracie turning and riding on the side of the road next to her.
“Stay in front and the driveway now.”
“Can I turn in other people’s driveways?”
“In this unit, you can. As long as there isn’t a car there.”
She didn’t think anyone would mind. Most of the neighbors weren’t outside anyway, if even home.
The mail sat heavy in her lap, a harmless routine suddenly feeling like a loaded gun as if teasing her to flip through.
She thumbed through envelopes. Ads, bills, coupons. Nothing that mattered.
Until one did.
Her fingers froze. A current of sharp dread shot up her arm, immediately piercing her fragile state of mind.
The hair on the back of her neck stood straight. Her pulse pounded so hard she could feel it in her teeth.
That handwriting.
Those thick, gouged capital letters that looked angry.
That deliberate pressure of pen to paper like someone trying to carve their fury straight through and into her life.
No return address. Postmarked out of state, but that was happening a lot now, coming in from hubs further away.
Her throat went dry. She shouldn’t have touched it.
But she had and now it was burning in her hand.
She set it down in her lap and stared at it, her heart hammering against her ribs, the roaring in her ears almost deafening. Blaze would lose his mind if she opened it without him. But she couldn’t just sit here pretending it didn’t exist.
Sweat dribbled down the center of her back. Her pants for air came fast and shallow as she lowered her head to breathe in slowly.
She glanced at her watch. Blaze wouldn’t be home for at least an hour. Maybe longer.
An hour suddenly felt like a lifetime.
Her gaze flicked to the camera hidden above the door.
What if the person who sent it had been here already?
No. She would have gotten an alert. Would have known if they’d gotten close enough.
Still, she couldn’t shake the image of someone standing just out of frame, smiling as they imagined her finding the letter.
Her head swiveled around as if it were a spinning teacup at the carnival. No one was around. Not within sight.
Her phone buzzed in her trembling hand, and she nearly dropped it.
A text from Clay. What’s wrong?
A sob ripped out before she could stop it.
Through the blur of tears, she turned her head to see Gracie was riding her bike in lazy circles at the end of the driveway, humming to herself, oblivious. Safe. For now.
She lifted the envelope with shaking fingers and held it toward the camera.
The reply came seconds later, her screen lighting up again. Don’t open it. On the way.
Her grip on the envelope tightened.
She could feel it. The evil wasn’t in the words yet, but in the waiting.
“What’s wrong, Mom?”
“Nothing, honey,” she forced out through a smile so tight she thought her lips would crack. “Why?”
“You look funny.”
She dropped all the mail on the porch covering the letter that was causing her anxiety. Should she go in the house and wait? She was positive Clay would have told her to do that if that were the case.
“I’m fine,” she said. “Just waiting for Blaze.”
“How much longer?”
“A little bit of time. Why don’t we go in the house? How about a bowl of ice cream?”
“Yes,” Gracie said, pedaling into the garage and getting off her bike.
She grabbed her daughter’s hand for comfort. For security. For the assurance and shield to whisk her away.
“You’re hurting me,” Gracie said.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.” She dropped her daughter’s hand quickly after hitting the button to shut the garage, then ran through the house to the front door to lock it.
She forced herself to get her daughter’s snack and keep her occupied, the mail still sitting on the porch where she left it. Probably a mistake.
When her phone went off ten minutes later, she saw the alert. Someone was walking up the front steps, then stopped to bend and get the mail.
Ford.
“Stay here, honey. Mom needs to talk to the neighbor.”
She slipped out the door, shutting it behind her.
“I got here before Clay. He’s on the way. Gracie in the house?”
“Yeah. Can we stay out here while we do this?”
“Of course,” Ford said. “Come sit. Take a deep breath. In and out again.”
“I can’t stand this. It’s just a letter, but it feels as if it’s going to be the knife to come out and get me now.”
“It’s what it represents,” Ford said. “It’s a clue. Every clue leads to catching the person.”
“If you say so,” she said, lowering her body to the top step.
Ford sat next to her, put gloves on and slid the envelope out so as to not touch it. He took a few pictures, then pulled the top back and slipped the letter out.
A small sheet folded three times. The same paper as the other two. The same writing.
HE WON’T SAVE YOU. HE CAN’T. HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW.
Her hand went in front of her mouth. “It’s about Blaze, isn’t it? That’s who they are talking about, right?”
Ford let out a massive breath. “Looks that way to me.”