Chapter 12
The Seventh Friday
Neil had acted upset all week. For the first time, I didn’t try to fix it. Going to the hotel with Isaiah was all his idea, and he’d left me there. If anyone should have been upset, it was me.
I wasn’t mad, though. Mostly, I felt numb and tired.
I deleted my profile on the hookup app. Isaiah had only told me something I’d known all along.
I wasn’t made for hookups. Insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
I wasn’t insane. I didn’t expect the hookups to be different, and I didn’t expect sex with Neil to be different.
It was time to do something new. So when Neil left for his “hall pass” date, I took a rideshare to The Muse, no longer wanting just fruit juice.
Sean lifted an eyebrow when I got out of the random vehicle. “Something wrong with your car?”
“Nope. I plan on getting really, really drunk.” I patted his arm when his mouth fell open and headed to my regular seat at the bar. Had someone else sat there when I didn’t come the week before? The thought made me sad.
Jack smiled when he saw me, helping to take that feeling away. “Hey, you. I was hoping you’d come when you didn’t text.”
“Here I am. No dates tonight, or likely ever again.”
Jack’s eyebrows rose. “Ever again?”
“Long story. Can I have a kamikaze shot? Do you know how to make those?”
Jack’s hands planted on the bar. “You want a shot?”
I looked around. “This is a bar, isn’t it?”
He frowned. “Is everything okay?”
Sean took the barstool next to me.
I held up a hand to ward him off. “Don’t try to talk me out of it.”
He grinned. “Wasn’t planning to. I want a front-row seat to the show.” He pulled off his logoed shirt, leaving him in only a black undershirt. His armpit hair stuck out a little, and the shirt made the muscles of his arms look even bigger. He nodded to Jack. “I’m off the clock.”
Jack looked even more confused.
Tension slid into my stomach. I hadn’t meant for my outing to mess with Jack’s bar. “But who’s going to be the bouncer tonight? I like you keeping an eye on me.”
His eyes softened as he looked at me. “I can do that better from right here.”
Jack sighed. “I’ll call Edgar up from the back. He won’t like it, but it’s been a while since you took a night off.” He held out a hand toward me. “If you’re sure about this, give me your keys.”
“I’m sure about this. And I left my keys at home.” I folded my arms on top of the bar. “So, a kamikaze shot?”
“Make that two. I’m buying.” Sean snagged his wallet out of his back pocket, sliding his card to Jack. “In fact, double everything she orders tonight. I want to see if I can keep up.” He bumped my shoulder with his.
“I plan on drinking a lot,” I warned him.
“Bring it on, honey,” he shot back.
Jack took his card. “I am going to charge it to you, since I’m being left out.”
“You could always join us,” Sean said. “Right, Hailey? You want Jack to drink with us, don’t you?”
I hesitated, studying Jack and wondering if he’d be a mean drunk or a fun one. The image wouldn’t rise. “I can’t picture you drunk,” I admitted.
“Oh, he can drink.” Sean’s lips tilted up.
“But not tonight,” Jack said. “Someone has to make sure she gets home safe.”
His promise let the twist of tension in my stomach loosen, warmth replacing it.
“A kamikaze, huh?” Jack searched my eyes. “So vodka is your poison of choice?”
I swung a little on my barstool. “It goes well with fruit juice.”
He laughed. “That it does.” He began mixing the drinks, and I watched his hands, fascinated by them like always. I didn’t often see him mix shots. Most people ordered whiskey, since it was a whiskey bar.
“When are you going to tell us what happened last week?” Sean asked.
I grimaced, looking down at my hands. “Ask me again when I’ve had enough drinks.”
He laughed. “How many is enough?”
“When I answer the question.” I reached for one of the glasses Jack set down. The liquid was mostly clear with a bit of murkiness. I took off the lime, tilted my head back to down the shot, then sucked on the lime after.
Sean followed a beat behind. “Another, Jack. She did it wrong.” He leaned in closer. “You’re supposed to clink your glass with mine before you gulp it like that.”
“You’re right.” Giddiness hit me when the heat from the drink flooded through my chest. At least, I thought the heat was from the drink. “I’ll get it right this time.”
Jack shook his head, but he was smiling. “You two are going to get so wasted. Sean is terrible at holding his booze.”
After the second kamikaze shot, Jack brought the pineapple drink, but with vodka, and then the pretty purple one with an even heavier pour. By the time I was sipping at the one with a red splash, I was a little dizzy and finally ready to talk.
“Wait a minute. You’re saying it was his idea to watch someone else go down on you? And you didn’t call me?” Sean looked crestfallen.
I leaned against his side, liking his warmth. “I’ve been wondering all week if I’da been able to orgasm if it was you,” I admitted.
“Don’t wonder. It would have happened.” Sean gripped his drink. “If we weren’t both drunk, I’d take you up to Jack’s apartment right now and show you.”
I hummed in my throat. “You’re prolly right. I always do when I’m imagining it’s you.” I tried to whisper the last part in his ear.
“Fuck, honey.” Sean took a long swallow of his drink. “You’re making this hard.”
“Cut it out, Sean,” Jack warned, his eyes narrowing on him.
The reality of the prior week crashed in on me all at once. “But maybe not. I’ve never actually done it. You know.” My arm nearly smacked Sean in the face when I waved it in the air. “Orgasmed with someone.”
Sean’s drink clinked on the top of the bar as he set it down hastily.
Jack’s eyebrows drew together, creating wrinkles on his forehead. “Never?”
“Nuh-uh. But don’t worry.” I leaned closer, trying to smooth out his wrinkles with my fingers. “Vibrators get me there just fine.” I was pretty sure I managed to whisper this time.
Jack closed his eyes. “Letting you drink was a terrible idea.”
“I think it’s working out pretty well,” Sean argued.
My fingers gave in to what I really wanted to do, and I brushed along the long line of Jack’s gorgeous nose. “I love your nose.”
Jack grew still as I petted it. “My nose? No one likes my nose.”
“I do.” His skin was so soft.
Sean laughed. “How’s that self-control going, Jack?”
“I hate you,” Jack told Sean, but he didn’t pull away from me. I was tempted to trace his lips as well, but then I’d have to stop touching his nose.
Wendy’s voice buzzed in the background. Likely introducing tonight’s band, but I was too busy molesting the best nose I’d ever seen to pay attention.
Until I heard the voice start to sing, a voice that I hadn’t heard in twelve years. My hand jerked away from Jack, and I swung around to stare at the stage. Logan was singing up there. He was older, and his hair wasn’t as long, but it was him.
My stomach lurched, and my hand flew up to cover my mouth. “Ugh!” I cried, my eyes widening as bile burned my throat.
“I’ve got you,” Sean said, lifting me off the stool and booking it toward the restroom. We made it just in time, and he held back my hair as I lost most of the booze in the toilet.
I slumped forward, my head whirling. “Why didn’t you get sick?”
“Because I’m not a lightweight like you.” He tore off a paper towel, and water splashed. The dampened towel felt good on the back of my neck. He curled it around so it’d stay, then tore off another. This one he used to wipe my face and finally my mouth. “You doing okay, honey?”
“Did I really see him?” I asked.
Sean frowned, throwing the towel away. “Who?”
I shook my head, not ready to say his name. My chest felt too tight. I pulled the other paper towel off my neck, climbing to my feet to move to the sink and rinse my mouth. Then I stared in the mirror.
I hadn’t tried to look pretty that night. My hair was in a lopsided ponytail, and I wore comfy jeans and a baggy T-shirt, with a wet spot on the shirt I didn’t want to think too much about. I wiped at it with the towel, making it spread. The lopsidedness I could fix.
“I’m such a mess,” I muttered.
“You’re really not.” Sean wrapped an arm around me, right on top of the wet spot, and nuzzled my hair. “I don’t think you realize how much I like you. How much we do.”
“You and Jack have helped me a lot.” I smiled at him in the mirror. “I hope you know how much I like you, too.”
“With what you said today, I’m getting a better idea. Can I ask you something?”
“Always.” I leaned my head back against his chest.
“Do you ever imagine Jack? Like you said you imagine me?”
Heat filled my cheeks. “I started to, but it’s different. He’s my friend.”
Sean frowned. “I’m your friend, too.”
“But you sort of gave me permission, didn’t you?”
His eyes crinkled as he grinned at me in the mirror. “I did, didn’t I?” He released me to step back. “You done in here?”
My hand moved to my stomach. “Yeah. I can’t believe I threw up already.”
“I think you just swiveled too fast.” Sean took my hand as he opened the bathroom door.
The women who had been waiting gave us the side-eye as we exited together, and I realized they likely thought we’d been using the bathroom for something naughty. The idea of it made my cheeks hotter.
When the stage came in sight, I paused to study the band, letting go of Sean’s hand.
Logan looked good, and his voice was even better than I remembered, if that was possible.
His eyes met mine, and I watched them widen as he continued to sing.
A smile spread across his face, and he nodded at me. He remembered me.
My stomach swirled again as I made my way back to my barstool. Fries and water were waiting for me.
“No more alcohol,” Jack said.
“Yes, Dad,” Sean teased, reaching for a fry.
“Those are for her, to soak some of it up.”
“Sorry, Jack. I didn’t expect to get sick so quickly.” I reached for the water.