Chapter 32
Oakley
I gave up trying to figure out what was wrong with me. If Sabastian didn’t care, then neither did I. As long as I could stay cuddled up against him, I didn’t want to be anywhere else.
Tucking my head in between his shoulder and collar bone, I sighed once again.
Right here, I could smell him. A tiny bit sweaty, probably from my own body heat, and Irish Spring soap. And maybe some of his sandalwood shampoo, too.
Sir had never smelt good. He smelt like rotten fish and day-old bread.
I shivered, remembering the times I had to take his cock into my mouth, where it’d touch the back of my throat as he forced himself on me. The smell there was worse than rotten fish.
“It’s okay, little one. You’re safe here.”
Another deep sigh, this one that let go of all the past fears. I couldn’t help but soak into the man.
He could so easily hurt me, so easily push me away and do unthinkable things to me. Yet, he simply held me. He spoke soft words. And he…just…was nice.
“Nice.” I mumble the word, knowing he couldn’t make out anything I said. I wasn’t daring to take out the paci to repeat the word, either.
“My good boy.”
I was being good. So, so, good. So, I nodded against him, trying to clamp my legs tighter around his hips. I never wanted him to let me go.
But when I squeezed my legs tighter, I felt something hard between us. I froze, for a single moment, before doing it again.
It took a moment for my brain to register what was hard, but most importantly, who.
It wasn’t right.
I never got hard unless Sir had given me pills. And even then, he didn’t like it when I was hard or soft, or anything.
I whimpered, confused about way too many things again. And something I had never felt began to bubble inside me. A type of need that I hadn’t got to experience before. That alone was frightening, and worrisome.
“Settle, little one.”
But I couldn’t.
As I tried to force my body to go lax, I sucked harder on the paci.
I moved again, not able to help it. I felt….warm and cold and needy and…and….
“Fuck. You gotta stop moving, Oakley. My brother just pulled into my driveway.”
I didn’t want to stop moving. I didn’t want to keep moving, either.
I whimpered, finally getting my body and its stupid movements under control. My breathing was labored, and I could feel the heat rush to the surface over my entire body.
“You have two options,” Sabastian said, not pushing me away as he shuffled on the couch a bit. “You can stay right where you are, or you can go hide in the bedroom with your stuffie.”
Oh, now I wanted my stuffie. Could I have both?
At least with my mind on something else, the other more pressing need slowly simmered to a level that was ignorable.
“You and stuffie,” I said around the paci. This time, thankfully, he understood. Or at least could guess.
He let out a laugh. “Not surprised by the answer. You can go upstairs and get your toy, and come right back, if you’d like. And maybe get a bit cooled down.”
Nope. I wasn’t going to fall for that trick. He knew I wouldn’t come back with company in the house. Nope. I was going to stay right where I was. So, I squeezed my arms again around his neck, giving him my answer.
“You can change your mind at any time. And don’t forget to go to the bathroom if you need to.”
Did he do diapers like the books? That thought jarred me enough to remember where I was, and why.
Why the heck did the idea of diapers all of a sudden cause that stirring in me again to rise up.
Maybe it would be better if I ran off to hide. That way, I wouldn’t be a disappointment for Sabastian’s brother.
I was a mess, and pretty things weren’t to be a mess. Neither were good boys, or so I assumed.
“Do you need to go to the bathroom?”
I had no idea, so I gave out a shrug, not pulling away even though my brain was trying to tell my arms to let him go.
“Alright. This is gonna be not fun.”
Well, maybe he didn’t want to face his brother any more than I did. That thought left a smile on my lips as he pulled out his phone once more, and leaned back against the couch.
“Letting Nathan know to come in. I don’t think I can walk holding you, even if you weigh next to nothing. Your skirt will trip me up more than my own feet will.”
I almost offered to take it off, but thought better of it. If something was still hard, and I wasn’t going to move to test that theory out, I didn’t need to give everyone a show without orders to do so.
Moments later, there was commotion at the front door. I couldn’t help but hold my breath before letting it go.
Whoever this brother was, Sabastian would keep me safe. He said he would, and I didn’t want to doubt that at the moment. Not when his arms were holding me to his chest as much as I was holding onto him.
“I never thought I’d see the day where you let a little girl keep you down.” I shivered at the voice, not liking the way he spoke to Sabastian. I didn’t care if he called me a girl. I didn’t care if Sabastian thought that, too. I was his, and that was all that mattered.
“And I never thought I’d see the day you let your woman spend thousands of dollars on beauty products,” Sabastian tossed right back, without the heat though.
“And, Oakley isn’t holding me down. I could stand.
” It sounded like Nathan sat, and then Sabastian introduced us.
Sorta. I didn’t look over that way, simply sucking at the paci.
“So, this is the kid you saved.”
Sabastian sighed, then went on. “Of course it is. I wouldn’t just hold anyone on my lap like this otherwise in my house.”
“Why is she in your lap?” That was Molly.
“He got in trouble for something, but it’s all been forgiven now.”
“He?” That was Nathan. “Have you seen this kid in your lap. Sure looks like a girl.”
“Believe me, Oakley is all boy under these clothes. What he wears doesn’t define his gender. If he likes skirts, than that’s what I’ll buy him. If he wants to wear pants, than I can do that too. As long he finds something to like, that’s all I want.”
I liked being in his arms, but I didn’t say that. That’d be too many words and I’d have to let go of the paci to say them. So instead, I just breathed him in, letting my eyes close again.
Maybe, if I willed it all away, these two people would go away.
“Will you be bringing him to dinner with the fam next week?”
“No,” Sabastian scuffed. “I don’t think meeting the entire family is the best idea. Oakley’s skittish and afraid of his own shadow as it is. Mom would overwhelm him way too easily.”
“You know you can’t hide him away forever.”
“I’m not. I took him out shopping today. Which, he did better than I expected.”
“Then why is he in your lap like a baby? Are you having sex with him?”
“Absolutely not. He’s in my lap because he had a small meltdown. It’s either this, or he’d be passed out in bed with an anxiety med. This is a better option.”
I agreed. Being attached to the man was far better than any meds. Well, I probably would be lying on him anyways if he had given me a pill.
“That means he has his own room.”
Sabastian didn’t reply to that one.
“Hey, you.” I jerked, forgetting for a moment that I still had the paci in as I turned my head to look at Molly.
I hadn’t heard her come closer, or sit down next to Sabastian.
“I think we should let these two men talk without us. Whatta ya say? You can show me your room, maybe? Or we can get a snack.”
I glanced up at Sabastian, who was looking at me. “Whatever you want to do, little one.”
“You are fucking him, aren’t you?”
“Shut up, Nathan.”
“There’s a stuffed animal on the bed,” Sabastian went on, ignoring the grumbles from his brother. “Sippy cups-“
“I know where they are, Bash.” Molly’s eyes went back to me right before I laid my head back down on his shoulder. “Come on. Little boys, or girls for that matter, don’t need to hear bad grown up words.” A pause. “I bet your hungry. Maybe some goldfish?”
“No fishes.”
“Crackers, then. I’m sure Bash has something that you’d enjoy.”
“You can go, Oakley.”
But I didn’t want to.
I looked up at Sabastian, hoping that he could see that I didn’t want to be anywhere else.
“Dude. Can he even go pee without you holding his fucking hand?”
A blush rose up.
“Go with Molly. get a snack, a drink and your stuffie. I’ll be here when you’re done.”
It took too much work to pull myself away from Sabastian. Instantly, my front was cold, and I felt lost inside. Tears gathered in my eyes as I dropped them to the floor, wrapping my arms around myself.
“Snack or stuffie first?” A small touch to my elbow got me to look up.
I shrugged. I didn’t want either if I couldn’t have Sabastian.
“I know…” she mused, leading me towards the back door. The one I’d stare out sometimes and let the warmth soak into me through the panes. “Let’s sit outside. I’ll run up and grab your toy and stuff.”
I couldn’t step out without Sabastian, could I? I hadn’t been out here before. What if I set off the alarms? What if he came running and pulling me away? What if the monsters were watching?
I hadn’t moved a single foot by the time Molly was back beside me.
She didn’t say anything as she handed over my stuffed animal, which I pulled to my chest, letting the softness tickle my neck.
Then, she ushered me outside. Once I was sitting on a chair, she quickly went back inside to get us snacks and drinks.
Pulling my feet up so they were on the chair, the stuffed animal squished between them and my chest, I rested my chin on my knees.
It was nice out here. Quiet and warm, even in the shade. The edge of the yard was far away, hidden behind a row of trees.
“Here ya go,” Molly was back, setting the stuff on the table. “I wasn’t sure what you liked to drink, so I went with water.”
I watched her, not wanting to talk. I wanted to go back to Sabastian.
I had to blink back the tears, even if it were a loss cause.
“You aren’t the same as you were earlier.”
I had nothing to say to that because I kind of wasn’t. And I didn’t know how to get out of whatever my mind was at. I tried, and failed horribly.
“Do you know,” she mused, handing me the sippy cup since I made no move to grab it.
“I’ve seen a lot of things in my life. Nathan may have saved me, but he can’t erase everything that I’ve been through.
I don’t know your story, and Bash won’t dare tell me anyway.
But I’m kinda like you. Saved from bad people who wanted to hurt me.
I have been hurt by men, and women, too.
They wanted me to be a sex slave, used for other’s pleasures.
I would be dead right now if it weren’t for Nathan. ”
Would I be dead if Sabastian hadn’t came and gotten me? I wasn’t sure. I do know that I’d be in unimaginable pain, at the least.
“ Bash will spoil you, so be ready for that. But you’re different.
a good kind. I may not know you, like at all, but Bash seems to care a lot about you.
He’d never let someone cuddle up with him like he was with you.
He couldn’t have cups for you, or toys, or heck, take a day to just hang out with you. ”
“He’s nice.” I took out my paci to say the words. I clutched it in one hand. “He doesn’t hurt me.”
“That’s good. Bash is super nice. So is Nathan even if he’s scary at first.” She paused, pushing the plate of crackers and cheese closer to me. I wasn’t hungry though. I did take a sip of the water. “What was your punishment?”
She wasn’t asking what I did, just want I got in return. Which was…unexpected.
“Standing in the corner for fifteen minutes.” I mumbled, remembering how I felt. I didn’t want to feel that kind of disappointment ever again.
“That doesn’t seem so bad. Better than what I get for mouthing off.”
I wasn’t going to ask, even though she got a wicked look in her eyes, like she enjoyed being punished for misbehaving.
“Anyways,” she sighed, picking up a cracker and nibbling on the corner. “Do you really like wearing skirts? Not that there’s anything wrong with it, of course. Just, you know, Bash will let you wear whatever you feel most comfortable in.”
“I don’t mind them.” I shifted a bit, putting my feet on the floor. The wood was warm against my feet, even if we were in the shade. “Not a fan of the underwear though.”
“I was about to ask if I could see them, but then Bash will be the one to punish me. So, what kind did he get you? I’m assuming he bought you some?”
“Uh…white ones?” I knew there were others, but how else could one explain what type of underwear I had one. They were…plain and simple. Scratchy, too.
“That doesn’t help much. Are they thicker? Thin? Seams too wide?”
“Thick, I guess. I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Just don’t like them. They aren’t soft.”
“You can tell Bash. He’ll get you some different ones for you to try.”
I shrugged. I couldn’t do that. I’d be fine with what he offered me.
Molly rolled her eyes. “I remember that feeling, not feeling like you can ask for things, even though Bash will get you anything you ever ask for.”
Still, I wasn’t going to ask. It wasn’t like I’d be out in public all that often anyways.