Chapter 33
Sabastian
I needed a drink. A strong one.
Nathan stared me down, as if he could see into my soul. Could he see how much I was falling for a sweet boy I never meant to fall for? Could he see that I had no options but to keep Oakley, despite knowing that I should let him go?
The answers to those were undoubtedly yes.
“Here I thought I was the only idiot in the family.”
Apparently not anymore.
I told him everything that he hadn’t known yet. Nathan knew how I came across Oakley, since he was the one person I told about the boy. I had plans to just get him out of that house and away from Donny. But things had changed way too quickly.
It wasn’t my fault the boy was nothing like the pictures. It wasn’t my fault that I was falling the way I was. And it fucking wasn’t my fault that Oakley was sweet and adorable, and spoke to a part of me that I had only let out at certain times.
“You’ve got it bad, Bash.” He shook his head, leaning back in his seat. “What are you going to tell the parents?”
“Not a clue. Oakley’s different. I don’t know how he will take it, let alone Dad. You know he doesn’t exactly approve of my after hours lifestyle.”
Us men were meant to look manly in all ways. Strong, smart, fast thinkers, and then have pretty little wives to carry our babies. At least with Nathan, he had a wife, who wasn’t ready to settle down with a baby and family. But she would be eventually. Maybe.
Mom always pressed on us three boys to find a wife, one who would love us, while we protected them from the world. At least she didn’t care if we got said wives from unethical means, since she was one herself once upon a time.
She’d at least be on my side of things. But Oakley was different. He didn’t speak his mind. He didn’t go out of his way try to prove his self-worth. And he didn’t do much of anything unless he had permission, which even then wasn’t much.
Not to mention, still underage.
“He’s not even eighteen yet.” I rubbed a hand down my face.
“So? He will be some day.”
Like in four days, but that was beside the point.
“What’s making you doubt, Bash? From what I can tell, that girl…
uh boy is everything you want in a partner.
Maybe he’s a bit quieter than what you’d go for, but I bet with time, he’ll open up.
He’s been through hell and back, probably more than once.
Just go for it. Be the Daddy you’ve always wanted to be.
Care for him, show him how much you can, and will, love him. He deserves it. You do, too.”
“I think I said something like that to you when you were falling for your own girl.”
“Yeah, well. I took your advice. I wasn’t stupid.”
No, well he was in that department. Molly was happy to leave so many hints that it took me pointing them out for him to get his brain on the right track. Now, the two were more than happy, having a relationship that they both wanted with tons of communication and each need met.
“Just,” he went on, eyes drawn to were Oakley and Molly were sitting out on the porch.
We had moved to the kitchen to keep a closer eye on them.
Well, mostly to keep a close eye on Oakley.
I wasn’t sure how’d he do on his own without me.
But so far, he seemed to being fine. “Don’t keep him away from the family for too long, alright.
He’ll have to learn to deal with all of us at some point.
Prolonging it isn’t going to help him, or you. ”
“I’m not bringing him this week.” That was for damn sure. The day before his birthday wasn’t the plan, at all. I didn’t need to explain how old he was, and why he was still a minor, while being my boy at that.
“You’re lucky they don’t come here, then.”
I raised a brow. That was part of the reason I moved so far away. Sure, thirty minutes was nothing, but it kept some people from venturing to the county, as they liked to call it.
I liked it way out here. No traffic. No nosey neighbors. It was perfect, and I wouldn’t change it for anything.
“Have you had sex yet?”
What the hell?
“No.” I growled out the answer. “Absolutely not.” Nor would I be anytime soon.
I could assume the boy wasn’t a virgin, just from how the bruising had been that first night. And the monsters he talked about were definitely the cause of a lot of the pain and suffering. And who knows what else Donny did to the boy when he was drugged and unconscious.
“I figured you had. He’s…clingy. And any boy would be after being-“
“I have not, nor will I, talk about my sex life with my brother.” I hissed, anger boiling under my skin. “Oakley will be cherished, with or without sex. If I plan to be his freaking Daddy, that means I won’t rush.”
“Won’t rush what, Daddy Bash.”
For all that was….
I glared at Nathan, even as Molly came around and leaned against his side. Of course he saw them come in when I wasn’t paying close enough attention. Just because I had my eyes pinned to the table instead of the boy I was currently obsessing over.
“I think that’s our que to leave, baby girl. Are you ready?”
“Yup. I’ll see you later Oaks.”
“Overstepping family members,” I grumbled, turning towards my boy.
He stood in the doorway, hands wrapped around the stuffed bunny in a death grip.
“Come here, sweetheart.” I waited for him to walk over. His eyes bounced from me to where my brother and his wife were leaving. He slowly came closer, seeming just as unsure now as he had been the entire time he’d been in my care.
I hoped that someday, he’d find out that he didn’t need to be unsure. That my arms were always opened for him.
When he was in front of me, I rested my hands on his hips. He wouldn’t meet my eyes, which wasn’t out of the normal.
“How far into the book did you get?”
“I-I-I finished it.”
“What about the others? What books did you pick?”
A deep blush filled his cheeks. It took him a moment to answer, and I didn’t rush him.
“The ones with…baby things.”
Ah. The first ones I tried to get out of his sight. Ones that most people would overlook, thinking they were in fact, baby caring books. The gag gifts.
“What made you want to read them so badly you had to sneak them, dear boy?”
He opened and closed his mouth a few times before fidgeting from one foot to the other.
While his hands twisted about, I saw his paci’s hook along one finger, the sippy hidden behind the stuffed animal.
“The covers.” He finally answered, voice barely audible. “I won’t touch them ever again. I won’t read them. I’m good, I promise. I’ll…I won’t look at them.”
I wasn’t surprised.
“Do you know what a little is?”
He tried to fall to his knees, but I kept him standing, not letting him go. A whimper caught in his throat.
“A Little is someone who regresses from their physical age. They enjoy kid things. Like toys, coloring, pacifiers and naps. Some even like bottles and diapers. Those books went over that, didn’t they?”
He nodded, sniffing as he took a deep breath, trying to keep himself calm. He was doing fairly well, for the most part.
“Dose those things appeal to you?” I knew the answer, but I wanted his answer.
He slowly nodded, then shook his head like he was afraid he answered wrong.
“I’m you’re pretty…thing?”
“You are pretty, yes. My good boy, too.” I rubbed my thumbs along his hip bones, not going any further in touching him than that. “But I want to know your thoughts on what you liked in those books.”
Another deep blush, which at least got his sniffles under control. His eyes bounced from side to side, then back to the floor, my lap even. But never my face.
I waited him out, letting him get his thoughts in order.
“Cuddles?”
“I know you like those. And the stuffie.”
He nodded quickly, pulling it closer to his chest. He almost got his thumb to his mouth before he remembered where he was.
It really was easy for him to slip into that mode.
“What about the pacifier? Is it too big? Too small? I have other brands you can try.” Most of the littles I played with liked the softer brand, the one that had thinner plastic and fit in smaller mouths, just like Oakley’s.
When he didn’t say anything, I went on.
“It’s okay to like that kind of stuff. Paci’s, sippy cups, toys, and even bottles and diapers, if you want to try them.”
I highly doubted he’d be comfortable doing diapers any time soon.
He shifted again, and I had a feeling he was trying to keep his body from kneeling before me.
“Tell me one thing you didn’t like in those books?
” Maybe that would be the better way to go.
Or…actually, I had another idea. “I won’t use any of your dislikes against you.
Ever. I may try to get you to work through some fears, but I won’t force something on you just because I may enjoy it.
For instance, kneeling on rice. It can hurt your skin, and you wouldn’t learn anything from that sort of punishment as you would by standing in the corner. ”
His eyes widen. I guess he at least never had to do that before, nor would he.
“You’re too sweet to make you kneel on rice, so I’ll never do that.”
“Thank you.” He breathed. “I…paci’s are nice.”
“I will have a chore set out for you tomorrow to do while I’m out.
Those first books you read?” He nodded, holding his breath.
“At the back, you saw checklists. I want you to mark them. Follow the directions that are in there. Green for something you will do easily that won’t cause you to panic.
Yellow for the ones you’d do, but don’t like.
And red for things that you hate the most. The ones that put you into panic.
Mark anything you have done with Donny with a d. ”
He nodded once. I could feel his heart beating through his entire body, but he was at least not panicking just yet.
“All of the books you read with the baby things on them. You’ll have a couple of days to work through them. And ask me if you are confused on anything. There’s some strange terms in there that will be confusing.”
“Do…I…” he paused, taking a deep breath. I was more proud that he was trying to say something instead of just assuming my answers. “Mark the….other stuff too?”
I tilted my head, trying to remember what exactly was in all the books. “Sure. Sex things, Little things, Dom things. All of it. It’ll let me know what you won’t tell me.”
He nodded once. “Okay.”
“Now, Littles need a person to care for them. Show them rules, and be there to make sure they are safe, and to help them grow in every part of their life. This person lets the Little be able to relax and be whoever they want to be.”
“I’m….I…I’m not that.”
“No, little one. You are not.” I smiled, pulling him a step closer to me.
He stood between my legs, and I could feel his breath on my face.
“That’s my job. My place is to care for you, be there for you when he need cuddles, or to read to you at night.
My place is to keep the monsters away.” I wasn’t going to dare say the word that I’d love nothing more for him to call me.
I wasn’t going to put that word in his brain, even if it was already there.
“I’m like a caregiver, you could say. Someone to protect you. Which means you have to start talking. Start telling me when you need something. I’m not a mind reader.”
He gave some sort of noise that said otherwise. But I wasn’t a mind reader. I was a mood reader, which wasn’t the same thing.
“For now, I’m your Bash. You can call me whatever you feel comfortable calling me as.”