32. Javi
32
Javi
After I left Sophia at her door with that fuck knuckle, Perry, I headed down to the hotel bar. I am able to sit at the bar and see when people exit the elevator to leave, ordering a water. I was hoping he would be taking the same path soon. Riley, at the other side of the bar, comes to sit next to me.
“What’s the haps?!” he asks as he approaches, slapping my back and sitting on the bar stool next to me.
“Not much. What have you been up to?” I ask. My eyes don’t leave the elevators, taking a mouthful of liquid.
“Just finished hanging with Fleur and Cole. Since you started this motocross project with Sophia, I’ve needed to find other friends to hang with,” he jokes.
“Sorry, man,” I reply, completely distracted at the moment.
“Dude, what the fuck is going on?” he pushes. “I have no idea what’s happening here.”
I sigh. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
“No, something’s up. You can lay it on me. What are friends for? It might help,” he pushes again.
Groaning, I reply, “This just stays between us, all right?”
“Of course.” Riley’s focus is completely on me.
“Sophia and I have been kind of…seeing each other…through this season,” I whisper.
“I knew it was about a girl!” Riley whisper-yells, snapping his fingers.
“Yeah, well, her ex, Perry, just showed up and was waiting at her door tonight. He’s up there talking to her now. I’m here waiting for him to leave the hotel,” I say, my eyes rarely letting the elevators out of my sight while I talk to him.
“Argh, that guy is bad news. Grade A dipshit,” Riley says, disgusted.
“I know. I hate him so much for treating Sophia like shit, but she and I agreed to keep things casual. I can’t go in there and act like another egotistical asshole demanding a relationship from her,” I say, exasperated.
“Sounds like you should do that—but not in an egotistical way. You like her. I can see it. Why else would you be waiting here to see if he leaves? Does she not deserve to know how you feel?” he challenges.
“I saw what she had to come back from this year. I don’t want to add to her shit year,” I reply.
“Who said it would be shit?” Riley offers, somewhat sage-like.
My mouth opens to reply, but I see Perry exit the elevator and head outside. Geez, I want to sock him one.
“I’ll be back.” Getting up, I don’t both waiting for a reply from Riley, and rush to meet Perry. He sees me approaching and smiles, like a moron, at me.
“Hey Javi.” He outstretches his hand to me.
Taking it, I squeeze until I see him wince, not bothering to greeting him. I pull him in close and whisper, “Don’t fuck around with Sophia again. She doesn’t deserve your mind games. And if I hear you have hurt her, let’s just say I hope you don’t trip and bust your face open outside at the cab rank.” Releasing his hand, he steps backwards, mouth agape, in shock. I stare at him and he scurries around me to leave the hotel.
Dashing for the elevator and back up to Sophia, I knock and am impatiently waiting for her to open the door.
The door opens and she stares at me. Her eyes and tip of her nose are red, like she has just been crying. And I get annoyed at Perry all over again. I should have just punched him.
“Hey, I wanted to make sure you were okay. I was in the hotel lobby and saw him leave,” I say.
She motions for me to enter.
“Thanks. True to his last act, he came and completely mind fucked me.” She put her head in her hands, and my heart breaks for her.
I go to her and wrap my arms around her.
“I’m sorry you had to deal with his shit again. Can I do anything? I can go kick his ass for you,” I offer. Just give me the word and I will. My hand automatically goes to stroking her hair, her head now resting on my chest. I wish she would never leave from this embrace. This is what I want.
“He said he wants me back,” she adds. I freeze. What the fuck? What is he doing?
“Oh,” is all I can manage to say, my body not following any instructions to move or act normal.
“I don’t know what to do,” she says. I can hear the confusion and despair in her voice.
I am now at a loss for words. I don’t know what to say to her. I want to keep seeing her, but I don’t want to put that pressure on her. But this jack off has the audacity to come and dump it on her? Everything was going fine an hour ago. Now everything is fucked up and slipping out of my reach.
I move my hands to her face, tilting her chin up. I can get lost in her beautiful eyes. My thumbs graze against her soft cheeks, but I can’t form the words. I can’t say I need you.
“You can go if you want. This is getting pretty complicated,” she offers me an out.
“Are you going to be okay? I feel like you need some time to process,” I reply, moving my hands down to her shoulders.
“I will be okay, and yeah; I need some time for my head to stop swirling,” she says, stepping back from me, putting distance between us. I feel like shit. I want her in my arms again. To help her feel better. To never let her feel this pain again.
I nod, and try and hold back my sorrow.
“Call me, if you need me. Otherwise, I’ll see you at the track in a few days,” I reply. Shoving my hands in my pockets, I head to the door. I open the door and pause.
Looking back at her, I say, “If ‘us’ is too complicated, you can take us out of the equation. I don’t want to add to your stress and worries.”
She nods and I can see her eyes water again, and I hate I have caused it. But I’m trying to be better for her.
I dip my head and leave. I can’t look at her again. I will take it all back in a heartbeat.
I head back down to the bar in a daze. Why did I back out so quickly? I should have said something better.
Riley sees my face and knows it didn’t go as planned.
“I gave her time to think,” I offer before he asks.
He gives me a subdued smile and says, “Guess we will see what happens. And at least you’ll still have her in the pits. A positive.”
I nod, not wanting to talk about it anymore.
This has turned into a really fucking shit day.
My sleep is interrupted by my ringing phone.
Hopeful, I reach for it, expecting Sophia’s name to appear, but it’s Dad calling.
“Hello, Dad, how are you and Mum going? Enjoying your trip?” I ask.
“Hi, Javi!” they both answer. “The trip is amazing! So glad we finally did it!” Mum replies.
“We were able to watch the latest race! You did a great job. The team must be so happy,” Dad adds. There’s only one person in the team I can think about being happy right now.
“Yeah, the team are working really well together,” I contribute to the conversation.
We catch up on where they have travelled to and their next few stops before outlining when they will most likely have reception again.
Then Mum comes in with insight. “Are you okay, sweetie? You sound a little off.”
“I’m just having some problems with a friend of mine,” I fob off.
“What’s Riley done now?” Dad asks, laughing.
“Nah, not Riley.” I sigh. Fuck it. “Someone I have been seeing.”
“It’s not working out?” Mum asks.
“Not at all. She’s great. Things are so smooth and easy going with her. She went through a tough time, personally, at the start of the season, but we had gotten to a really good space. Except last night her ex came back and asked her to get back with him. But he’s an asshole and treated her awfully. I just feel hopeless. I gave her space because I thought it was the right thing to, but I don’t want to give her space. I don’t want her to doubt anything when it comes to us,” I reply.
“Does she know how you feel about her?” Dad asks.
“I didn’t want to add pressure to the situation,” I reply.
“But you do like her?” Mum pushes.
“Yes, I really like her. I don’t think I have liked someone so easily and quickly. I love spending time with her, even if it’s just hanging in the pits,” I reply.
“Then you have to tell her. Otherwise, you will be filled with regret on the ‘what ifs’ forever,” Dad adds.
“I know. You’re right. You’re right,” I say, my head in my hands.
“Is she a grand gesture kinda girl or quiet declaration?” Mum asks, ever the romantic comedy lover.
“Considering we were keeping things on the hush so the team didn’t know about us, I will say quiet declaration is more her speed,” I reply.
“I’m so happy for you, Javier, and we can’t wait to hear how it goes,” Mum says.
“I’ll have to figure out her schedule.” My mind is already racing through ideas.
I wrap up with my parents, and arrange to chat to them again later that night before they head off to no reception in the early morning.
My phone in my hands, mind racing through possibilities, I take a deep breath and hit call. “Hey! Sorry for calling you so early, but I need your help with something. Can you meet up now? And can you bring Nikki?”