Chapter Fourteen
It was hilarious really, watching him drag out this whole thing, when the answer wasn’t really all that salacious. It was something I already knew, because we’d bonded a bit while Rocket was off hiding from his woman, and I’d asked, out of pure curiosity, since he definitely didn’t ride one.
“Come on, man, everyone knows mine,” Rocket demanded, as V smirked at him.
“Yes, baby, I enjoy your ‘rocket’ very much, but can we focus?”
“That’s not… woman, I swear… you know it’s-”
“Let’s not get off topic,” I interrupted, because those two would go all damn night if we didn’t nip it in the bud.
Harley ran a hand over his tidy beard and rolled his eyes.
“It’s not that interesting, really.”
“I agree,” I added, grinning when the others all darted their eyes at me.
“You know?!”
I shrugged, offering them a shit-eating grin. “Of course.”
All eyes hit Harley again.
“You told him before me?” Rocket gasped, resting a hand against his chest like he’d just been mortally wounded.
“Jesus, you’re like a fucking… whatever…
it’s simple. My grandfather loved motorcycles so much he changed his name to Harley, and I figured, why not?
It’s a good name. It’s important to me, because he was a fucking amazing man, and you know what?
You want your ride fixed, you go see Harley.
It’s a name that suggests I know motorcycles, right? ”
Everyone groaned, and his grin finally reappeared. “Told you.”
“No sex on bikes?” V asked wearily, dropping her head on Rocket’s shoulder dramatically. “That’s so boring!”
Caroline leaned over to kiss Harley’s cheek. “I think it’s a beautiful story.”
“Gag,” V followed her response up with actual gagging sounds, and the best part of all this?
Glory was laughing along with me at their antics, her face lit up and full of life.
Nixie was wriggling in her arms, chewing her hair, which I wanted to point out, but I just didn’t want to wipe the smile off her face.
It was everything to me. It was a reminder of her before all this, the woman she’d always been.
The woman I loved with every fibre of my fucking being. My Glory. Glorious and spectacular.
“You’re staring,” Rocket murmured to me, and that’s when I realised the whole fucking table was watching me watch her.
“Fuck. Just uh… watching Nixie chew her hair, that’s all.”
“Oh god!” Glory tried to wrestle the soggy clump of hair from the suddenly feral little dachshund, while the rest of us chuckled at their struggle.
“Rocket, she shouldn’t be eating hair, dammit!
Help her!” V snapped, and I was out of my chair in an instant.
Nobody was getting that close to her, nobody but me.
That was an asshole thought, like I was staking my claim on a woman I hadn’t earned, but it was also fact.
She didn’t need someone getting up in her face right now.
“I’ve got it.” I reached over to lift Nixie from her arms, so she could focus on retrieving the chewed hair from the pup.
“Uh… why’s she growling at me now?”
Rocket appeared at my side and plucked Nixie from my arms.
“You know she’s not fond of men, man, sorry.”
“Huh. She’s never growled at me before.”
“You’ve never been taking away something she wants before. She’ll get over it, won’t you, baby?”
“Don’t fucking call her that!”
“Woman, I’m just calling her it like an endearment. Will you get your head out of your ass for like, a minute?”
I dropped into the seat beside Glory, and leaned close while she gingerly wiped her hair against her shirt. Fuck me, right near her… nope, don’t look at her boobs, man. Don’t look.
“They’re like that all the time, by the way. It’s just their thing.”
She snorted. “They’re so alike. Are we sure they’re not actually related?”
“That’s gross, but then, maybe that’s just how it is in their family.”
We both started to laugh, as I bastardised a line from another movie we love; Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
Our good, relaxed moods lasted until our guests had left, and then the awkwardness settled back in almost instantly.
“Glory, don’t,” I whispered, watching her backing up into the hallway, almost fading into the shadows right in front of me.
“I’m trying not to,” she replied, just as softly, her fists clenched by her sides.
“I’m no threat to you. I couldn’t be.”
She nodded. “My brain knows that, my heart knows it… but my body seems to keep going for fight or flight when we’re alone. I don’t… I’m not afraid of you, but…”
“Being alone with me is a problem,” I said flatly, glancing at the door again, “do you want to be living somewhere else?”
“No! My god, stop trying to fix everything, N… Henley! You can’t rush this or shape me into what you want me to be right now. I’m trying!”
“I’m not… I’m not trying to do anything for my own benefit. I just want you to be okay.”
“Well, I’m not.”
I swallowed hard, not willing to lose my shit in front of her, either with rage or fucking fear. I felt like I was losing her, and just an hour ago things felt normal.
Glory
Iwas destroying him. I could see it happening in increments, every fallen smile, every extra crease in his brow, every extra sag in his shoulders.
He was losing faith. Losing his belief that I could be fixed, and among all of that, he worried that he was getting this wrong.
That he was pushing me too hard, or breaching limits we’d never discussed.
“I want to cook tomorrow,” I insisted, trying to find a boundary and set it in place, trying to start us off with something we could both accept or build upon.
He looked surprised by my sudden declaration, but nodded, stepping into the hallway I’d retreated into.
“I’m good with that. Need me to shop for anything?” Oh god, did I? What if I tried to make something and the ingredients weren’t all there? What if I burned it? What if it wasn’t tasty enough, and he realised-
A soft hand cupped my chin, breaking the disturbing train of thought as my eyes met his.
I saw so much concern and sorrow there that I think it broke the last pieces of my heart.
The parts that Sean didn’t destroy, I just did that to myself, by being so broken that I was breaking my best friend too.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, his thumb landing on my bottom lip as it quivered.
“Nope. No sorries. Let me show you what we have in the kitchen, then you can tell me what you need, and Glory? When I say tell me, I mean fucking demand it. Stomp your sassy little foot, fold those arms, and glare at me until I do your bidding. Be the goddess I know you are.”
I leaned back against the wall, his proximity overwhelming me, but not in a threatening way. There was something comforting about his closeness, something that softened the tension in my bones, and allowed me to feel safe.
“I hate disappointing you,” I said softly, my lips still brushing his thumb because he’d moved with me, and was still holding me.
There was nothing friendly about it, because it felt like more, but it also didn’t feel unfriendly.
It was all so confusing. My senses were so accustomed to fear and panic, that they didn’t seem to know what to do in the wake of his gentleness.
“You could never disappoint me, Glory. I’m always here for you. I’m glad you called me when you got out, although I’m still unclear on how that happened, but I’ll keep you safe. You’re safe with me, and I mean that. There’s no threat to your safety from anyone, including me.”
“A charity helped me, I mean you know that, but it’s…
I think I was meant to run into her that day, because she gave me the lifeline I think I was desperate for, because there was no way out otherwise.
I mean, you said you didn’t know everything, so I’m sharing more.
I was… I guess praying for something to end that life for me, and she was…
my saviour. A less bloody way out, at least for me. Not so much for him.”
Henley practically choked on his breath, both hands cupping my face, their warmth seeping into my skin to chase away the bone-deep cold that had been my cage for so long.
“Fucking hell. Thank god she found you! Thank every fucking god. You were… you’re… you don’t feel that way now, right? You know there’s a future, and safety, and happiness now. Right? No reason to leave?”
I swallowed against the torrent of emotion that filled my throat as I watched panic and pure dread fill him at my words.
“I didn’t say it to-”
“I know. But I’m glad you did. I’m not only your physical safe place, Glory.
I’m here for you emotionally too. You need to talk, I’m here.
And hell, if I’m not here, you have my number, and you have the business number to reach Libby.
I uh… I’ll program others in your phone for you.
Micro and Harley. Rocket. Oh, Ice. Dammit, no, Lissa. Fucking hell, I-”
I pressed a hand over his mouth as he tried to shut up his own babbling. It was adorable when he did it, because he literally seemed to be trying to keep up with his brain, and he didn’t need to rush, did he?
“I’m not going anywhere, N… Henley. So we can have these conversations over time. You don’t need to cram it all into one speech.”
“I know,” his muffled response came, but he didn’t push me away.
In fact, we sort of froze right there, like one of those weird statues that makes no sense to anyone but the artist. He was still cupping my face in both hands, and I was covering his mouth.
It was probably some artistic expression about silencing something, but for us it was just how we naturally ended up.
He started chuckling as he realised it too, and I laughed a little breathlessly.
“We both made it weird this time,” I said as I lowered my hand, and the giggles kicked in.
He was still cupping my face, but his laughter was almost euphoric, as if this moment was the pinnacle of our friendship.
Maybe it was. This was as real as we’d ever been, both caught up in drama and fear, loss and regaining each other. Maybe it was-
His lips touched mine suddenly and we both froze again. What was he doing? Why wasn’t I pushing him away?
“Fuck,” he muttered against my lips, “I… fuck.”
He pulled back, his own fingers settling over his mouth. He looked horrified. Stunned. Was it because he didn’t want to do it, or because he really wanted to, and knew it was wrong? Was it disgust or shock?
“I… fuck me, I made it weirder. I’m so sorry.”
I swallowed again, surprised to realise I wasn’t horrified or angry. Just surprised.
I touched my own lips, almost a ghost of how it felt when his lips pressed against mine.
“I’m… it’s too soon, but I’m not sorry.”
Henley’s eyes widened at me. “It’s assault.”
Another laugh escaped me. “Hardly. It was… a surprise, but not a bad thing. It’s too soon for me to even consider-”
“I wasn’t… Fucking hell. Just forget I did it. We’ll uh, we’re moving on, that’s it. Uh…” he checked his expensive Seiko wristwatch and groaned, “I swear this isn’t a lie, but I do have to go take a call.”
His business was the kind that meant calls day and night were possible, even as the hands-off boss he seemed to be right now, so I didn’t argue.
“I’ll bring you a cuppa.”
His lips did that thing I loved, that wide happy grin that made him look a little like a puppy.
“You will?”
“Get back to work,” I sassed, and he laughed again.
“Thanks, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart. He’d always called me that, but was it just a term of endearment, or was there more to it?
He kissed me. I’d been the one with the crush back then, but things seemed to have changed for him in the time I’d been gone.
Was he my future? And if so, did I have the courage to reach for it? For him?