Chapter 21
Despite his intentions, Cassian did want to get to know his mother-in-law.
Lady Wynn was a good lady, and he could see that she was a good mother, too. Adelaide had not appeared as comfortable as she did at that moment, and he liked to see that.
“You caused quite a stir,” Lady Wynn remarked lightly when he joined them. “I have been told that you outright threatened Mr. Hargrave last night.”
“I would not say that I threatened him, though I certainly did warn him. I did not marry your daughter for him to persist in his advances.”
“And I thank you for that. My daughter has never been one to defend herself.”
“Mama!” Adelaide huffed.
“It is true, dearest,” Lady Wynn replied dismissively, before turning back to Cassian. “I suppose you have seen that for yourself.”
“Actually, Adelaide seems to have less trouble voicing her opinions. I am pleased about that.”
Cassian wished to know what his wife was thinking. She seemed annoyed that he had joined them, but of course, she was grateful for his compliment.
“I suppose I should apologize to you,” he continued. “The thing is, I cannot pretend that this marriage is going to be any of the wonderful things you have envisioned for your daughter.”
“On the contrary, it is everything I could have ever wanted. It is practical, and you are good to her. Yes, I would have liked for her to find true love, but we all know that is most rare. My daughter will be taken care of, and that is what matters to me.”
“And you are certain of that?”
“I am. I am a sensible lady, Your Grace, and I know that my daughter’s reputation has suffered of late. To have all of that happen, only to become a duchess, has proven that she cannot be the lady Mr. Hargrave accuses her of being. In that way, you have saved her. I could not have asked for more.”
Cassian sat back, when the tea arrived. It saddened him to hear what Lady Wynn had thought of her daughter’s prospects. It was not too far from how his mother thought of him, even though he knew it was very different. Lady Wynn loved her daughter, whereas his mother could not stand him.
Even so, it could not have been easy to hear.
He looked at Adelaide, who did not seem very surprised by what her mother had said. He supposed that she had grown used to it.
“I have heard,” Lady Wynn continued as Adelaide poured tea, “that your mother lives with you still. Is she well? I have not seen her in years.”
“I was not aware that you knew one another.”
“But of course! We debuted together. She married first, and to a duke, which stirred up the envy of many young ladies. Fortunately, I never much cared for titles, so I was simply happy for her.”
“Yes, you might have been alone in that. My mother is well enough, although she has easier days and more difficult ones. She has not left her room yet, so I can only assume that it is because today is more difficult.”
“It is a shame that that happened to you all. I can only offer my condolences.”
Cassian felt himself break into a cold sweat, not wanting Adelaide to ask questions. He had assumed that she knew something at least, for it had felt as though everyone knew what had happened all those years ago, but he could see the confusion in her eyes.
She did not know what had happened, but he was not so foolish as to hope that it would remain that way. She would learn of what he did eventually, and that terrified him.
“Thank you,” he said quickly. “I do not believe that my mother will be coming down, so it might be best for you two to visit the village. They are very fond of your daughter there.”
“Oh, Adelaide, is that true?”
“My husband is simply very kind.” Adelaide blushed. “Though I must say that it has been easier than I first expected. They are all very good people.”
“Then we shall finish our tea and go visit them.”
“Did you not want to rest first? The journey must have been—”
“Nonsense. I do not need to sleep; I need to see my daughter. My mind is made up, dearest.”
Satisfied, Cassian left the room.
The truth was, though he did indeed want them to see how well Adelaide was doing, he wanted to keep them away from his mother. He did not know how she would react, and he was also aware that the time was coming for their conversation about what he had done the night before.
It always came when he least expected it. Therefore, he had learned to always be ready for the attack.
It came shortly after his wife and Lady Wynn left for the village. Cassian said his goodbyes, then turned to see his mother standing at the top of the stairs, glaring down at him.
Not wanting to give her any power, he simply smiled at her and asked if she had slept well.
“Do you plan on inviting all of London here?” she asked, ignoring his question.
“She is my wife’s mother. Adelaide has every right to have her here.”
“Yes, but she did not invite her, did she? Are you that much of a coward that you needed to bring another lady here so that I would not speak my mind freely?”
“You were more than welcome to join us and admonish me, if it is what you wanted.”
It was a lie, for there was nothing he wanted less, but she seemed to believe it. He returned to the drawing room, where he poured himself a drink, and she followed him.
“I suppose Lady Wynn thinks the world of you, yes? You have rescued her sweet daughter from spinsterhood, so you are a hero.”
“That is not quite true, though she is grateful that I married her daughter despite her reputation. Believe it or not, Mother, there are other people with tarnished reputations.”
“Well, I have always assumed that. Why else would she marry you?”
Cassian set his glass down with more force than he had intended. Even his mother jumped back slightly at the loud thud.
Though he did not want to scare her, there was satisfaction in seeing that she was not completely in control. She was still a delicate lady beneath her veneer and had her fears about what he could do.
He needed that fear if he was going to successfully keep her in line.
“I am only going to say this once,” he said in a low voice. “If you cannot bring yourself to respect me, then you can find somewhere else to live. I let you stay here because, whether you can see it or not, I do care for you. But now that I am married, I must think of my wife first and foremost.”
“That is incredibly selfish of you.”
“On the contrary, it is very much selfless. If I had my way, you and I would sit in a room and not leave it until you accepted that I am not some vicious monster and I had done the same for you. But I know that is not what you want. The truth is, Mother, you revel in all of this.”
She laughed dryly, a gleam in her eyes. She paced the room for a while, not looking at him.
Every so often, she would let out a dark chuckle, and he wondered if she was truly beginning to lose her mind.
He knew that Bedlam was an option if she could not control herself, but he did not want to do that to his mother, even if it was very tempting.
“Is that how you think of me?” she asked. “Do you truly believe that I am even half as monstrous as you? We are not the same, Cassian. You know what you did, and it should haunt you till your dying day.”
“You were there too, Mother. You were just as capable of helping him as—”
“Don’t you dare!” she snapped. “You know perfectly well that there was nothing I could have done. You, on the other hand… You killed him that night, and if you think that I am going to leave and let you do the same to her, then you are very much mistaken.”
“Very well. If you want to believe that I am a murderer, then do so. I will never change your mind, I know that. However, if you intend to protect my wife from me, then you ought to stay here, and the only way to do that is to be kind to both of us. If you cannot do that, I am well within my rights to send you away, where you cannot protect her. The choice is yours, Mother.”
His mother looked at him coldly for a moment, before leaving him standing there.
Cassian felt sick having to threaten her the way he did, by suggesting that he would ever hurt his wife, but it was the only way to make her understand. She was never going to believe that he was a good man, so he had to be the best villain he could be.
He remained in the drawing room with a book until they returned, not wanting his mother to see them when he was not present. They were both laughing, and the sound rang through the hall.
It had been a long time since he had heard laughter in his home; the sound was far more pleasant than he had anticipated.
“You seem to have enjoyed your excursion,” he greeted.
“Indeed, we have.” Adelaide smiled. “I did not think I would say this, but you were right. They do seem very fond of me in the village. That seems to extend to my mother, too.”
“That is excellent news.”
“It is, indeed,” Lady Wynn agreed. “However, I must say that I am weary from all the travel. I had hoped to push through until tonight, but I believe I may collapse if I carry on much longer.”
“Then you may rest,” Cassian said softly. “I shall have a maid show you to your room.”
She thanked him and was then taken away.
It was strange to be alone with Adelaide, for it had not happened since their argument the night before. The accusation still lingered in her eyes, but it had softened. Considering what he had done for her, that was no surprise.
“You did not tell me that you had invited my mother.”
“I thought you would appreciate the surprise. Was my assumption incorrect?”
“No, and that is what frustrates me.”
“Ah, I see. You are frustrated that I knew what you wanted and did it for you.”
“That is not—well, I suppose I am, in a way. Cassian, I do not understand you. You made it so abundantly clear that you do not want to get to know me, but then you do such a lovely thing, and it does not make sense.”
“I would have to disagree. I know that you are unhappy here, but that is not what I want. I do not have to be in love with you to know how to make you happier.”
But he realized, as she stared at him with her hands clasped in front of her, a curl loosened as she preferred (and as he did too, so that he had an excuse to touch her) that she was exactly the sort of lady he could fall for.
He did not want to, for it would only make everything more complicated, but he could not help it. She was everything he could have wanted: poised and perfect when needed, but so alive when she came undone.
No amount of pushing her away seemed to fix it. And no amount of spending time with her revealed a flaw that he could not see beyond.
“Is your mother well?” she asked after a moment.
“She is not pleased with what I did at the ball either. It appears that the two of you have more in common than I expected.”
“I am not angry with you, not anymore. I know that you were only trying to help, but Cassian, you have to be more careful with Hargrave. You have offended him, and now he will want revenge.”
“Adelaide, you have to trust me. I have made my presence known, and he will not challenge it. Men like that—if you can call them men—hurt ladies because they know they do not risk retaliation. He is afraid of the consequences, the very ones I threatened. He will not bother us.”
But his wife was not convinced. Uncertainty shadowed her face, and her eyes darted around as though there was something she knew but was not telling him.
He wanted her to say it, but he was also aware that he would dismiss any concerns she had.
He could not help himself; he knew how gentlemen worked, especially ones like Hargrave.
The man would not be a threat to them any longer. He had already lost, and Adelaide had married someone else, and there was nothing he could do about it. He would have to accept defeat and find another young lady to pursue.
Cassian hoped that the man would remain alone for the rest of his life, but he was not a fool. He knew how society functioned, and it was on marriage.
He was fortunate to have taken a good wife, but even then, there was conflict. Adelaide did not trust him, and he could hardly blame her for that. He was the one keeping his distance, but he had the best reason for it. It was also keeping his mother at bay, and that was most important.
Because if his wife knew that he killed his own father, there would be no coming back from it.