Chapter 27 #2
“How easily you excuse impropriety when it suits you.” Charlotte gave a slight shake of her head. Nathaniel’s brow was a straight line, for he was unused to being tested like this.
“I did not ask you to dance to talk about our… to talk about that,” he corrected himself quickly. Neither of them wanted to mention the word ‘kiss’ lest anyone around them should overhear.
“If you wish to write it off as a mistake, then so be it, but none of us can help our natures, Your Grace, and it seems hypocritical for you to judge everyone else when you fail to live up to your own standards. I dread to think what Lady Honoria would think.”
Charlotte meant the comment only as an offhand one, but Nathaniel bristled and stopped dancing for a moment. The music continued, however.
“Is that a threat? Do you seek to ruin me? I never took you for a petty person.”
Charlotte flinched.
“What could I possibly gain from threatening you? A little acknowledgement is all I ask, and an explanation. I think it is the least I am owed.”
“I have no explanation to give,” Nathaniel replied quietly. Charlotte sensed a struggle in his words, something unspoken. He glanced around as the people around them began to notice that Nathaniel had stopped dancing. He resumed the motions, and the room began spinning around Charlotte once again.
She looked into his eyes and silently urged him to share his inner thoughts with her. There were depths to the man that she had glimpsed, but he seemed determined to keep them obscured. She parted her lips, ready to try to coax the truth out of him again.
He was not a man who kissed on a whim. Something had driven him to steal a kiss in town, but what had it been? If it was desire, if it was love… she almost dared not think the thought.
Could that ever be a possibility when he was so unwilling to set aside his duty?
“Will you marry him?” Nathaniel asked abruptly.
“Who?”
“Lord Winstanley.”
Charlotte blinked with surprise.
“Why would you ask such a thing?”
“Because I am intrigued by a man who could make you reconsider your stance on marriage. He must be impressive. Any man who could make you do such a thing must be. So, are you going to marry him?”
“Quite frankly, Your Grace, that is none of your business,” Charlotte replied.
She didn’t want to talk about the Baron. She wanted to talk about their kiss, but Nathaniel kept wanting to pretend that it never happened. She couldn’t understand why he was so bothered about who she married or didn’t marry, and she had only danced with Baron Winstanley.
“As you will be a member of my extended family, I feel that it is my concern. I would like to make sure you marry someone suitable.”
“Someone who respects duty, no doubt.”
“I wish only to express my concern.”
“Your concern is noted, but unnecessary. As I have told you before, marriage is not high on the list of my priorities. Baron Winstanley and I share common interests, and I’m sure I shall speak to him again. Whether that will lead to marriage or not, I cannot say.”
“So there is a possibility then,” Nathaniel said.
Charlotte stared at him, wondering if there was something more he wanted to say.
“Yes, perhaps we shall both be married. You to Lady Honoria, the epitome of a duchess, and me to Baron Winstanley, an educated man with whom I can enjoy spirited discussions.”
“So, he is well-read, then.”
“He is.”
“I’m pleased you have made such an acquaintance. Shall I expect a third marriage to be announced? If I know now, then I can arrange for them all to be declared together.”
“As far as I’m concerned, nothing has changed. I wish to continue my parents’ research and publish my book. Those are my dreams, and I shall not get married if I think it will get in the way of my aspirations. Marriage will only hold me back, so there is no need to make any announcements.”
“I see,” Nathaniel replied. It was still so hard to discern his innermost thoughts. He was about to say something more when the music stopped. The men bowed; the women curtsied. Charlotte pinched her dress and forced a smile onto her face.
The conversation hadn’t given her what she wanted. Nathaniel was obstinate in his desire to ignore the tension simmering between them. Perhaps Charlotte would have to resign herself to the fact that their lives were on different paths. The promise of their kiss would be unfulfilled.
“Nathaniel, Nathaniel, I need to speak with you!” Beatrice came running up to Nathaniel and tugged his hand, dragging him from the dance floor.
There was a fretful expression on her face, and her eyes glistened with tears that had yet to fall.
Her lower lip trembled, and they moved to the side of the room.
Charlotte was about to follow them when she felt a hand on her arm, holding her back. It was Lydia.
“She needs to talk to him alone,” Lydia said.
“Why? What on earth has happened?”
“It’s Lady Honoria. I was speaking with Her Grace when Lady Honoria approached her. I excused myself, but I could still hear their conversation.” Lydia’s expression was fraught with guilt as she clearly struggled with hearing something she hadn’t meant to.
“What did she say?” Charlotte asked in a hushed whisper, looking across the room as Nathaniel listened to his mother’s words.
“It seems that Lady Honoria has decided against marrying His Grace. She said that things were not as she had hoped they would be. More was said, but they moved away. Lady Honoria departed shortly after that.”
“Oh, my…” Charlotte replied. Thoughts raced through her mind. Had Lady Honoria departed because she saw Charlotte and Nathaniel dancing together? Had she realized that duty was no reason to get married?
“Yes, the poor man. I really thought they were going to get married. They seemed perfect together. He will have to find another bride elsewhere, I suppose,” Lydia said.
“But the Duke has exacting standards. I’m not sure it’s going to be easy for him to find someone who meets his expectations.”
“Or perhaps there is someone close to him already,” Lydia whispered into Charlotte’s ear. A tingle ran down Charlotte’s spine.
“Don’t be silly, Lydia. You know full well there is no chance of our getting married.
I think it’s quite clear from seeing Lady Honoria that I am not the kind of woman he would want as a wife.
I lack all the qualities she possesses. And I do not want to get married anyway,” she said, this last part not to remind Lydia but to remind herself.
As she gazed at Nathaniel, she did find herself wondering what it would be like to be his wife, to stand beside him and listen to him asking her to marry him. To dance with him at every ball, to kiss him nightly.
And now there was nobody else making a claim to be his duchess.
Might there still be a chance for her after all?
Did she even want it?