Chapter Eleven
Rose
Happiness never seems to last. -Rose
“Hey, I decided to stop in town, and I got your favorite ice cream. Heavenly hash, of course. I thought we could watch that scary movie we talked about, eat some of this, and then go upstairs and do wild, practically illegal things to each other.” I giggle, but my words seem to echo in Lucky’s kitchen as I place the plastic bags from the grocery store on the counter.
Lucky is sitting at the table, but instead of greeting me with a kiss or a funny quip like he usually does, he sits there, silent. He’s glaring down at the table like the patterns in the oak may hold the key to the future. A feeling of trepidation crawls up my spine.
“Hey, everything okay?” I ask softly. “Did you get bad news? Did something happen to one of the guys?”
“No, not the guys.” The words are said quietly but there’s steel in them.
“Come sit down, Rose.” He lifts his head and his expression is hard as stone.
His blue eyes are flat, devoid of emotion.
The twinkle that I always see in them is gone.
Cold dread swirls in my stomach. Something is very, very wrong.
I sit down and wait. Wait for whatever news is about to break. I know about bad news. I’ve been here time and again. I’ve had doctors deliver it, my father, my mother…I know when someone is about to tell you something you don’t want to hear.
“What?” The word comes out shaky, but I try my best to hold all my emotions together. Whatever he says, I can get through it.
“You know this started out as fun, right? Fuck you so you could lose your virginity?” He sends me a sneer. “Well, things aren’t fun anymore, babe. I’m getting bored.”
I bite down on my lower lip. I won’t cry. I promise I won’t cry.
“Not fun anymore?” I ask in a tremulous voice. “So, you just want me to go? No more seeing each other?”
He nods and his blue eyes gaze straight into mine. “I think it’s time. It was fun while it lasted, right? Had a few good weeks anyway.”
“A few good weeks,” I echo. I push away from the table and stand. Suddenly, I’m angry. Very angry. “That’s all you have to say, huh? We had some fun and it’s over?”
“Look, that’s all I signed up for. I wasn’t here to love you. I was here to fuck you. That was what you wanted, right?” There’s nothing behind the words that come out of his mouth like gunfire. Every bullet hits its’ target and I feel like I’m going to sink to the floor in pain.
“Right. That I did.” I turn to start gathering the bags I brought in. “I’ll just get out of your hair then.”
I feel his hand on my shoulder and shudder. “Hey, Rose. You’ll get over this. I mean, I’m nothing. I’m the guy you come to for a good time. And you could get sick again, and then maybe…”
I swing around, bunching my fists by my side. “That’s what this is about? You found out about the cancer? Who from? My dad? Was he here?” Suddenly, I can see it all so clearly. The two men I care most about in my life quietly deciding what’s best for me.
“You should have told me. That would have been the right thing.” The words are said in that flat tone.
“Why? So, you could tell me that you didn’t want to have to take care of some sick person in case it came back?” I’m boiling angry now. I just want to hit him. I want him to hurt the way I hurt.
“I wouldn’t have said that. I would have talked to you about it.”
“No, you wouldn’t have.” I throw my arms in the air. “You wouldn’t have because this is just fun! So much fun!” I let out a laugh that sounds a little maniacal.
I practically sprint to the front door, losing stuff from the bags along the way.
I turn to glance back at Lucky as I open the door. “This was so much damn fun, babe. Thanks!” Thanks for breaking my heart.
He starts to say something, but I close the door in his face. By the time I get to the car, my whole body is shaking. I hear the front door open and shut again, but I don’t look back.
“You can’t drive like this. You’re upset.” Lucky’s deep voice finally has some emotion in it. Worry. The dumbass is worried about me.
“Fuck you! I’m fine. Remember this never meant anything anyway. Why do you care what happens to me?” I break down on the last word, but I won’t give him the satisfaction of glancing back at him again.
I throw the plastic bags in the car and crank it up. Tears are rolling down my face now, but I ignore them. I throw the car in reverse and speed down the driveway.
Fuck him. Fuck that bastard.
I take that first turn at top speed but then let my foot off the gas when I hear the roar of a motorcycle. He’s following me. The wild biker who doesn’t give a shit about me is following me. Something doesn’t compute.
I drive more carefully into town, peeking in the rearview mirror every few seconds. When I finally reach my house, I sit in the driveway for a few seconds. Lucky is still there, on his motorcycle. Just watching me. Waiting for me to go inside.
The motorcycle finally tears away as I open my front door. I watch him go. The man I love leaves me without a backwards glance.
But if he doesn’t care at all…why did he follow me? Why did he make sure I got home safely?