Matt
MATT
Staring down at the pastry before him, poked it listlessly with a fork. He’d ordered it because he knew he needed to eat something , but now, he couldn’t understand why he thought it looked even remotely good. The cafe served delicious, quality food, but the pastry looked dry to him, and the filling looked like brown paste rather than chocolate cream.
“I didn’t know you wanted to fork over eight bucks just to play with it,” Elias said at the small cafe table across from him.
grimaced. “I didn’t. But now that I have it, it, uh, doesn’t look very good. Do you want it?”
Elias grunted. “Not really a chocolate person.”
“You could take it home to Cade,” offered.
“Do you know what will happen to me if I offer him chocolate?” Elias asked wryly.
“I assume it involves a few things that I don’t want the details of,” guessed.
Elias chuckled softly. “I guess. But according to him, all I have to do is exist, and he wants that to happen.”
raised a brow. “Like you’re not just as bad.”
Elias grinned. “True. A few years ago, I would’ve never even wanted to wonder what sex with another guy was like, let alone with Cade, of all people. And now? Hell, I think he and I are starting to understand why things didn’t work out with all those women before.”
snorted. “What, you were secretly into guys the whole time?”
“No, just each other. Which isn’t exactly something they explain to you in sex ed.”
“Yeah, pretty sure Cadesexual and Eliassexual aren’t on the list of commonly known sexualities.”
Elias shrugged. “It is what it is. We get each other, and we get into each other, but it’s the first thing that matters the most. No one ever got me like he does, and apparently, it’s the same for him.”
smiled at that, hearing his friend’s ordinarily calm, if somewhat sarcastic, tone turn sentimental. He was genuinely happy for both Cade and Elias, even if they were probably one of the oddest couples he’d ever met, at least in terms of their beginning. They were good men and excellent friends, and he believed they deserved happiness.
Yet, he couldn’t help the twist in his chest that felt like envy and self-pity. His friends deserved their happiness, yes, but that didn’t make his nights any less lonely or his last few attempts at romance any less disastrous. Ethan wasn’t his first disaster, but that didn’t make it sting any less.
Elias cocked his head. “Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”
smiled. Of course, Elias didn’t ask if he was okay. When Elias wanted to know something, he didn’t give someone the option to back out or evade, not without having to work for it anyway.
Slumping back, pushed the plate away. “Just...recovering is all. After everything that happened, it feels like I’m...drifting, lost.”
“Is this about Ethan or Keith?”
“Bit of both. Depends on when you catch me.”
“I think you know what I’d say about Keith.”
managed a smile. “That I took your chance to hit him?”
Elias rolled his eyes. “I told him I’d beat his ass, not just hit him. Just like you didn’t just hit him.”
Wincing, shook his head. “I’d rather not...think about that. It’s still hard to believe that was me. I’ve never...I’ve never hit anyone in my life, Elias.”
Elias played with the rim of his cup of once-steaming tea. “And if anyone deserved it and were capable of pushing someone to it, it would be Keith. It doesn’t make you a bad person, . You have to know that.”
“Yeah,” shrugged. “I guess.”
“It doesn’t. Everyone has their breaking point, and you finally found yours. You ask me, he acted like a total shit for so long because he thought he could get away with it. And while you might have finally stood your ground in a way you don’t like, it’ll make him think twice. And I’m sure the suspension will help.”
“I just want peace,” admitted quietly.
“I know. And I’m sure if he had any sense, he’d see that. And if he has any brains, he’ll know that you’re why he still has a job. That’s why you took the hit too, isn’t it? You didn’t want him to lose his job.”
grimaced. “You see right through me.”
Elias chuckled. “Well, Keith is lucky you’re the way you are. I don’t think I would have been as forgiving...no, I know I wouldn’t.”
chose to take a sip of his still-warm coffee rather than comment. Guilt churned in his gut, but he couldn’t tell if it was because he’d actually hit another person in anger or because of why it had happened. Or rather, he knew it was both, but sometimes, he couldn’t tell what he felt worse about.
“So, about Ethan,” Elias began, watching carefully.
“I guess this is why you called me out here,” said.
Elias snorted. “No, I called you to have some food and a drink with me because you’ve been off work for almost a week, and I know you need to get out of the house occasionally. And I know you’ve probably been torturing yourself unnecessarily, so I figured you could use a little talk.”
“I have not been torturing myself,” protested, knowing that wasn’t strictly true.
Elias grunted. “I’m actually a little surprised Cade caught onto what was happening before I did. Not that he’s ignorant of other people and their emotions, but he’s?—”
“Cade,” finished with a fond smile.
“Yeah, he’s Cade. That about sums it up.”
“So, you knew too? Because Cade told you?”
“He did. And I won’t point out that you once got upset because you thought Cade and I had been dating without telling you.”
raised his brow. “You’re normally better at making people feel better.”
Elias chuckled. “Alright, alright, I won’t tease you.”
shifted awkwardly in his chair. “It was just...new. One minute, I was just feeling him out, and the next thing I know?—”
“You were really feeling him out,” Elias said with a curl of his lips.
frowned at him. “I think you’ve been around Cade too much.”
“I know, it’s almost like we were best friends and now boyfriends. Weird how that works.”
“Not any weirder than hearing you make sex jokes. That’s his thing.”
“You’re changing the subject.”
wrinkled his nose. “He asked me out, just randomly. I said yes. We went on a date, it was fantastic. We had another one at my house, and he stayed for the weekend. A few days after that, well, you saw what happened.”
“What exactly did Keith see?”
“Us kissing.”
“Ah, yeah,” Elias winced. “That would do it alright. No wonder he was yelling loud enough we heard him outside.”
groaned, putting his face in his hands. “It was so stupid of me. We were at the station, and I knew Keith was working. I knew the risks, and I did it anyway. So I managed to not only out Ethan to his brother, but then turned around and slugged his brother in the face.”
“Have you spoken to him?” Elias asked.
“Yeah, right. I’m probably the last person he wants to talk to right now.”
Of course, wanted to talk to him, if only to know he was okay. He had no idea what Keith had done once he was sent home. For all knew, Keith had promptly pushed his brother out the door with his things and was content to pretend he didn’t have a brother anymore. didn’t even know if Ethan had a way to take care of himself financially, only that he was still looking for work. The man could be living on the streets, and it was ’s fault.
“Or…” Elias drew out slowly. “Now, bear with me here. You could always, I don’t know, talk to him and find out.”
peered up at him. “Sarcasm? Really?”
“You’re the one sitting there beating yourself up when you don’t even know if you should be beating yourself up.”
“I ruined his life!”
“That’s a little dramatic.”
“Really? Did you see Keith? Do you remember who he is, what he’s like?”
Elias sighed. “Davis told us they’re still living together. They don’t talk, like, at all. And Ethan is barely at the house, but Keith hasn’t lost his shit on Ethan, and he hasn’t kicked him out.”
“Wait, really?” asked, feeling some of the weight ease.
Elias nodded. “That’s about all we know, though. Apparently, Keith is pretty much pretending his brother didn’t do...anything. He still ignores Ethan’s existence, but he point blank refuses to talk about it, even to Davis.”
“That’s unusual. Those two are tight,” noted.
“Yeah, and if you ask me, Davis is getting frustrated.”
Not that the new information changed anything. Ethan and Keith would have still been close if it hadn’t been for ’s stupid decision. Ethan may not be homeless, but he’d essentially lost the sense of security and stability he’d had living with his brother.
“You could always talk to him,” Elias suggested. “For all you know, you’re both avoiding the other for reasons you shouldn’t.”
“Why would he be avoiding me if it wasn’t for him being pissed at me?” wondered.
Elias snorted, taking another drink. “There could be any number of reasons. I mean, his brother kind of started a fight with you. I’d be embarrassed and pissed if my brother did something like that to Cade.”
“You don’t have a brother.”
“Not the point.”
sighed heavily, wanting to believe him. Yet even then, he didn’t think he’d be able to shake the feeling that he had screwed up royally. Despite those few weeks being the best he’d known in ages, it wasn’t worth it if the price was Ethan’s happiness.
“I should go,” said, standing up. “I left my dad with Holly and she’ll need to leave soon.”
Elias held up a hand as reached into his pocket. “I’ll cover it. Especially since I’m apparently taking your pastry home to Cade.”
sighed. “Okay. Thanks, Elias. I appreciate you talking with me.”
“Just think about what I said, okay?”
“I’ll try.”
* * *
As soon as he reached the door, he knew something was wrong. His stomach twisted as he pushed it open and immediately heard a heavy thump from somewhere in the house. Hurrying in, he kicked off his shoes and jogged into the kitchen.
It was clean, but the dining room was in complete disarray. A pitcher of orange juice was knocked over, soaking into the tablecloth. The pile of mail was scattered across the table and onto the floor, and the rug between the dining room and kitchen was kicked to the side.
“Calvin, honey,” he heard Holly’s pleading voice say.
His father’s unusually gruff voice said something couldn’t make out. knew that tone, though, and his stomach dropped even further. He hurried into the living room, where Holly stood, her hands held out toward his father.
Calvin Howell was hunched over the desk, pawing through the drawers with such ferocity that items lay scattered about, and one of the drawers had been ripped out. The couch cushions had been torn, blankets tossed around, and the bookshelf was half-empty, with books scattered all over the floor.
Holly turned to him, face pinched. “, I’m so sorry. I was trying to calm him down, but?—”
smiled as best he could. “It’s fine. I know you’ve got other places to be.”
She looked uncertain. “Are you sure, honey? I can clean up, at least.”
“I can manage,” said, watching his father as the man muttered to himself, yanking open another drawer with unnecessary force.
“Don’t you let her out of this house until you’ve searched her pockets!” Calvin growled, flashing an angry look at them.
gestured quietly for her to leave once his father had turned back to his search. Holly gave him an apologetic look as she passed, moving quickly and quietly so his father didn’t notice.
“Dad,” said, “what are you looking for?”
“Thieves,” Calvin grumbled, shoving his hand further into the drawer.
looked around the room, wondering if anything would end up broken. “Dad, we have an alarm system, and there’s always someone here. We haven’t had any thieves, no break-ins, nothing.”
“Then you’ve been hiring them, bringing them into my house.”
The next drawer was not only opened but ripped off the track and dumped. When he finished, Calvin tossed the drawer away, hitting the wall hard enough to put a hole in the drywall and send a few pictures crashing.
“Dad,” pleaded, watching his father stomp away from the desk after looking over the pile he’d dumped out. “Come have some tea, and I’ll help you find it.”
“There’s no time,” Calvin insisted, eyeing the cabinet where they stored blankets and a few other odds and ends. “I have to find it before your mother comes home. She’ll be heartbroken if I let someone steal her charm bracelet.”
’s heart ached as he reached out, letting his father see him advance so that the touch wasn’t a surprise. His father was lost in a different place and time, wandering the fog of his brain and ending up somewhere he shouldn’t have been. had made sure his mother’s bracelet had been buried with her. Each charm bore a special significance to her; even never learned the story behind some of them. But they had been her memories, and he’d thought it only right that it went with her.
“Don’t you touch me!” Calvin growled, stepping away from and glaring. “You let those thieves into this house. Now, they’ve taken the only thing she ever cared about. She’ll be heartbroken. Are you happy?”
’s chest hitched, but he smiled. “How about this, you come sit down and make yourself comfortable. I’ll put on some tea and see if I can find it. I just don’t want you to get hurt. There’s glass on the floor.”
Calvin frowned at the scattered pieces of the broken picture frames with mild surprise. “So there is. You should clean that up. Someone could get hurt.”
“You’re right, I should. But let’s get away from it and sit down for a bit. I’ll start the water for the tea,” offered.
Calvin huffed, still scowling. “I suppose that’s the least you can do. Couldn’t do your job hiring these people, might as well make the tea. And put some extra on. Your mother would probably like some.”
carefully led his father to his plush chair and watched as he eased into it. “I’ll make sure to. It’s the least I can do.”
“Damn right it is,” Calvin muttered, though he sat back in the chair willingly.
“I’ll be right back. Just stay there so I can come back for the glass,” reminded him.
“I see the damn glass.”
smiled, turning so he could have a moment to let the expression fall. He supposed it was only a matter of time before one of his father’s uglier moments came to pass, and this wasn’t even the worst had seen. Yet, on top of everything else, felt like he was breathing through a thin tube, and his eyes stung with tears he refused to let out.
Wiping his face, he hurried out to start some tea.
And found Ethan standing in the middle of the kitchen.