Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
Luka woke up to a nightmare.
Reno sat on the corner of the bed, both feet planted on the floor, with his phone in one hand and his other clamped tightly over his mouth.
“What’s going on?” Luka rubbed his eyes to clear them, then scooted to the edge of the bed next to Reno. When Reno didn’t move, only took in a sharp breath and squeezed his eyes shut, Luka started to wonder if someone had died.
It felt like an eternity before Reno handed him the phone.
It was hot in his hand, but it wasn’t the heat that made Luka’s palm immediately start sweating. No one had died, but it felt like the next worst thing.
Article after article.
Photos on photos, threads with hundreds of commenters, posts piled on top of more posts containing Reno’s personal information.
His full name, his family’s location and names, his closeted sexuality with photographic proof, and somehow even medical records with his mental health diagnosis and therapy notes.
Documents and recordings from the court cases were posted, allowing anyone to read or listen to Reno defending himself as Joy accused him of the worst.
Luka didn’t even care when he saw himself pop up over and over.
They couldn’t actually do anything to him.
So what if everyone knew his birth name and gender and where he’d grown up, or that he’d been separated from his parents?
None of that mattered when they were being bombarded with articles tearing into Reno for his apparent sexual deviancy and social media threads speculating if he’d groomed Luka over all these years.
There were so many posts about Reno being gay and some about how he wasn’t actually gay because Luka wasn’t born a man.
Luka staggered out of the room and locked himself in the bathroom to heave into the toilet.
He’d ruined Reno’s career.
This was his fault.
He’d ruined Reno’s life.
Luka knew these kinds of things had so deeply scarred Reno in the past, and that his life balanced carefully, precariously, on the protections placed in his favor. With those broken, he wasn’t sure how Reno would recover again.
He pressed his forehead against the toilet seat and listened to his phone ringing in the other room.
He’d been so selfish.
If he stayed, things would just get worse for Reno.
He’d been right since the beginning, that even if Reno knew the risks he was taking, Luka agreeing to those risks would tear Reno’s life apart.
Now, even Reno’s name was public information, after all these years of hiding it to protect his family, his sisters, from having to bear the weight of his fame and the threat of overly devoted fans.
That peace of mind was gone because Luka had said yes to Reno, over and over, even knowing it was a bad idea.
And, if he stayed—if they were caught together after all of this—it would only cement the things they were saying online.
All because he’d been naive enough to trust someone new, to let someone close enough to Reno to hurt him again.
Reno didn’t deserve this. Luka pulled himself up off the ground and brushed his teeth, ready to tell Reno that this wasn’t his fault. But when he left the bathroom, Reno wasn’t on the bed anymore.
Luka slowly walked into the living room and spotted Reno in the kitchen, his elbows on the counter and his hands wrapped around a yellow mug full of steaming coffee. His phone was in front of him, dialing on speaker.
When he looked up at Luka, he thought that maybe this was the first time Reno and he had locked eyes and Reno had not smiled.
The phone stopped ringing. “Well, hello, my love.”
“Joy,” Reno replied, sounding cold in a way that Luka had never heard from him before.
Joy giggled over the line, “I’m so happy you’ve unblocked my number. They’re saying some pretty crazy things online and in the news today. I wonder what happened.” She hummed, and Reno’s expression went blank.
Luka felt like such a fool. This person was enough trouble that Reno needed her number blocked, needed a restraining order against her, and Luka had saddled right up next to her, letting her buy him drinks and telling him he was fun to be around.
“Your number is only unblocked to tell you I am taking legal action.”
“Now, why would you do that?” Joy replied, sounding amused. “I haven’t done anything wrong. I stayed away, just like you asked. I won’t even press charges against Arnaud even though he ruined my dress with that drink.”
Luka curled into himself, sinking onto the ground. Reno watched, his eyes narrowing, looking torn before he said, “I’m coming after you. This is the last time you mess with my life.”
And he hung up.
He pressed a few more things on his phone before it rang again.
“Yes?” He answered, and Luka tried to remember how to breathe.
“Reno, are you okay?” Kandi asked, and Reno frowned.
“Of course not.”
“We need to resolve this together.”
“I know.”
“Will you come to the office? We will be here with the police to make a statement.”
Reno sighed, then looked at Luka, who was clinging to himself on the ground. “Two hours. Don’t bother us until then.”
“I’ll hold everyone off until then.”
“Thank you.” Reno hung up and showed Luka his phone, pointing at it so Luka would watch as he powered it down. Once the screen was black, he left it on the counter, grabbed the mug, and silently walked over to where Luka was on the floor and sat in front of him.
He held the mug out and said, “It always helps me.”
Luka tried reaching out and found his arm shaking. “I’ll drop it.”
“It is my favorite mug, so please don’t.” Reno didn’t smile, but something softened around his eyes. “Here, lean forward.”
He held the mug to Luka’s lips and tilted it slowly. It was sweeter than Luka liked, but the warmth was comforting.
Reno took a drink after him, then set it to the side.
“How are you so calm?”
With a small frown, Reno said, “This isn’t the first time I’ve been through this. I’m so sorry.”
“Why? You didn’t do anything wrong here.” Luka put his forehead on his knees and held his legs to his chest. “I’m the one who messed up.”
“I have the order of protection, but it did not extend to you. That’s an error on my part.
I failed to protect you,” Reno said, and Luka had never heard his voice so flat, so even.
He was so used to the expressive nature of Reno’s voice that he felt a part of himself wither.
“I didn’t want to scare you, but I should have said something when I saw her name in your phone last week.
I thought I could handle things on my own. ”
“So, you knew and didn’t tell me?” Luka asked as his stomach turned again.
“Not exactly,” Reno said, and Luka lifted his head to take in how he looked.
He was so unlike his usual bright self, Luka felt startled.
“There’s a million Joys in the world. I didn’t want to come off like a paranoid lover, asking you who was in your phone or who you were seeing.
I tried to convince myself it wasn’t her.
She’s been so quiet for so long, it felt unlikely it was. ”
“You could have asked,” Luka snapped. “Just asked me what she looked like, told me your ex's name, told me you had an active stalker, so I could be more vigilant, be clued in just a little that I might be endangering us both.”
“You’re right,” Reno admitted and shrank into himself.
“This is the first time I’m doing this with a partner.
I wasn’t popular like this when I was dating her.
Every time I handled my information being leaked or rumors, it was just my life affected—though it’s never been to this extent—and I survived. This is different. I made mistakes.”
Luka ran his hands through his hair and tugged, the feeling on his scalp grounding him a little. He felt like crying, but was too frustrated to do so. “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t tell me uncomfortable, important things.”
“I know. I didn’t want to scare you.”
“I’m more scared now than if you had told me!” Luka tugged harder and put his forehead to his knees again, making a frustrated noise.
“I’ve learned this too late.” Reno slowly turned the mug so the handle was facing him before picking it up to take a sip. He let the steam hit his face for a moment before he said, “I am telling you now.”
“You’re not. I’m finding out in bits and pieces.” Luka huffed into his knees, not letting Reno see his face. “There were so many moments you could have just explained this to me.”
Reno sat silently for a while before picking the coffee mug up and taking a sip.
The air between them felt charged in a way Luka hated.
He was so used to the feeling between them being charged with passion, with affection.
Right now, it felt nearly dangerous, and Luka shuffled away from Reno a little, a sickness creeping up his throat.
Luka lifted his head to say, “You were supposed to trust me.”
Reno flinched. He put the mug down and asked, “What do you want me to do?”
“I don’t know.” Luka lowered his eyes to the floor. “I’m not great at figuring out plans quickly.”
“I will give you time to know what you’d like from me.”
“That’s not fair, Hikaru,” Luka protested. “This can’t just be up to me.”
Reno frowned. “I don’t know what else to offer.”
Luka scowled, everything else about the day falling away as his attention narrowed down to just Reno.
Just them, sitting on the living room floor several feet apart.
It didn’t matter what strangers said about either of them online.
It didn’t matter if Joy’s slander never stopped.
It didn’t matter if their relationship was always under observation. “You have to choose.”
Reno looked away.
“And if you pick me, you’re an idiot.”
“I thought that you liked that I’m kind of stupid.”
“I’m not going to let you choose me,” Luka snapped, ignoring Reno’s comment. He uncurled from himself, toes just barely touching Reno’s crossed legs, and fought the nasty urge to push. “I already said so.”