Chapter 10 #2
I look up and realize how kiss drunk he looks. His black hair sticking up in places. The loose tank top displaying every hard line of muscle as he hovers over me.
“You taste good.” He smiles. “Like mint.”
I swallow, everything sinking in.
What the hell am I doing? Sawyer must see something on my face because he nods and gets off me. He sits on his hands, looking up at the night sky as if he didn’t just throw my world off its axis. I slowly sit up, feeling so out of place.
That kiss.
I remember Cam kept bitching about kissing Bo and how it changed him. I thought it was stupid.
Sawyer looks up at the night sky, and then his eyes slide to me, a smile growing on his face. My own matches it, stretching the corner of my lips. “Tonight was a good night,” he says softly. “I’d ask you if it was good for you too, but I think it’s pretty clear.” He smirks, looking down.
I follow his eyes as he looks at my erection, and I adjust myself in my shorts, swallowing hard. What the fuck is happening? The silence between us builds uncomfortably.
“It’s been a good night,” I confirm, looking up at the sky.
I feel him before I look and find him watching me. “Good night. And the kiss?”
I look at his mouth then away. “Good kiss.”
Sawyer chuckles. “Aw, careful now, Aiden. I don’t want you being sweet with me.”
His laugh is soft and something tightens in my chest. When I look at him, something deep inside me comes loose. Unravels.
“Don’t worry,” I murmur. “You don’t have to worry about me being sweet.”
Silence is the only thing that joins us on the drive back to the bakery. I pull in, putting the car in park, not sure what’s going on or how to even speak.
“Thank you for tonight,” he says finally, with his fingers on the door. His eyes dart briefly to my lips, but I pull away, ignoring the disappointed look on his face. I need air. I need space. This is too much. “Right, well. Good night,” he says. “Wait. Your cookies. I can grab them.”
“I’ll get them next time I work.” I need him to get out of my car. My chest feels tight. Choking. “Good night,” I whisper.
He reaches for the door then pauses like he wants to say something, but thankfully he takes mercy on me as he just nods then slips out of my car. I watch him walk around the building, shoving his hands into his pockets.
I’m staring after him, my pulse tripping over itself. Something’s happening to me, and it feels like this weight on my chest that won’t let up no matter how hard I try to get it off. I put the car in reverse and back away.
I don’t think, I just breathe until I’m almost back at the woods.
It’s dark, but the clearing of trees above lets a sliver of moonlight peek through. I’m not afraid of being out here. I know from experience that houses don’t hold any less horrors than outside does. Most of the time the homes hold more.
I slip into the back seat and take off my dress pants, leaving me in my black briefs. When I rest my head on my pillow, my thoughts only know one thing.
Dark, starry eyes. Soft red lips.
A man who’s gentle.
Is this what he meant about romance? My hand smooths down my boxers, cupping my erection, and I squeeze, restless. I can still feel him on my lips and taste him on my tongue.
I just need relief.
I need this tightness in my chest to let up so I can fucking sleep.
I slip my hand inside and grab my dick, giving it a slow stroke. Most of the time I don’t even care enough to do this. Then again, I’ve never been turned on like this before.
Over a stupid fucking kiss and a boy with bright eyes.
I lift my hips and slide my briefs down a bit, stroking my length. When I shut my eyes all I see is him.
His eyes shine when he laughs.
They crinkle at their edges.
It’s cuter than I want to acknowledge.
The way he braced himself over me.
How hard he was.
How he fit.
How we fit.
I squeeze my eyes shut.
The darkness behind my eyes makes the memories sharper.
The soft press of his warm lips.
He said I taste like mint, but Sawyer tastes like poison.
Sweet and decadent and most likely meant to kill me.
It’s soaked into my bloodstream.
It feels like I’m dying.
My chest tightens. I spit into my hand, working myself faster.
My fingers curl around the edge of my seat as I stroke.
My pulse flickers. It’s humiliating how pent up I am over a pathetic kiss.
My hand twists with purpose. My body aches with need.
I want to kiss him again. The feel of his hands along my body.
The strong way he held me to him. My lips still buzz with the feeling. I feel marked. Claimed.
And the worst part is, I want another taste so bad.
My climax hits me hard with no warning.
I bite my cheek, stopping my moans. My stomach contracts. Warmth spills over my fist, and I sag when it’s over. My head feels light. My hands are shaking. I don’t know what’s happening to me.
I’ve never experienced even a sliver of this.
This is everything I’ve avoided wanting, and now I know why.
It’s torture.
I close my eyes, but the sticky warmth on my belly begins to irritate me. As I clean myself up, my phone vibrates. I reach between the seats to grab it from the front and lie back down.
Sawyer:
I know you probably don’t want to hear from me, but I just want to say thank you again. I needed tonight.
Sawyer:
Not the kissing part, just talking
Sawyer:
Not that I minded the kissing part
Sawyer:
The kissing part was great
Sawyer:
Ten out of ten kissing part
A smile grows on my lips. He’s so irritating.
Sawyer:
Right. You’re probably trying to block my number now
Sawyer:
I keep typing and I don’t know why
Sawyer:
Good night
I stare at the rambling messages, and before I can stop myself my fingers are typing.
Aiden:
Hey, Sawyer.
I wait for a moment seeing the bubbles appear.
Sawyer:
Yeah???
Aiden:
I liked the kissing part too.
I hit send before I can stop myself, then put my phone on silent and throw it back up front. I turn onto my side on this back seat and try hard to close my eyes.
I think about his question before our kiss.
Are you happy?
I didn’t know how to answer then, but now, in the darkness in this car, I know the truth.
I think I found the light.
For the first time in my life . . . I am.
And then the dark.
I don’t deserve it. People like me don’t deserve to be happy.