Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
SAWYER
I open my eyes to arms wrapped tight around me.
I want to smile, but then I remember the state he was in last night. I need to change his bandages when he wakes up.
But I won’t wake him.
His red lips are parted.
He’s so beautiful.
I shift a little onto my side, holding him while he lies on my chest. I go to touch his back and stop myself, remembering the welts.
What kind of monster would do that?
Is this what he goes home to every night? It makes the late-night drives we’ve had more heartbreaking.
Carefully, I smooth his hair away from his forehead, then I trace the thin scar down his cheek. I just want to take all his pain away. There are so many things I need to do before the Valentine’s event, but right now I just want to lie here with him and hold him.
Slowly his eyes open. He looks confused before his mind seems to settle in real time. “Why are you staring?” he asks groggily.
“Just admiring the view.” I smile, pushing strands of his hair away from his forehead. I don’t ever want to leave this bed.
My skin heats when I feel his thigh brush my leg as he lifts it over my hip. He’s so pliant when we’re like this. Normally he’s so closed off, but here in bed with me he just seems to let all that go. All the stress and evil he seems to live with just seems to melt from the hard lines of his face.
My fingers touch and trail along his skin.
I cup his face and lean in, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. “I want to check your back, then do you want to help me? I have a recipe I want to try.” Aiden nods and I press a kiss between his eyes.
“Why are you so nice to me?” Now his hands roam and touch along my back.
“Why wouldn’t I be kind to you?” My thumb brushes his cheek. “How’s your back feeling?”
“Sore. I don’t know how much help I’m going to be. I feel tired.”
“I’m sure.” I kiss his lips. “You don’t have to help. You can just watch.”
His throat works before he nods. “Thank you.”
My fingers ghost down his cheek. “What happened? This scar?” I’m curious but I also want him to talk to me.
“I got into some trouble at school and they sent the police to our door. I’d been out sick, but my mother wouldn’t get my assignments for me, so I missed them.
I always tried so hard, and I wanted to get good grades.
In my mind back then, I thought if I did, I might be successful enough to run away from Ivan and my mother.
The teacher wouldn’t let me make up my assignments, though, so I got pissed and set my failing report card on fire and threw it in the trash. I know it was wrong.”
I watch him swallow.
“They let me go on a suspension, but the damage was done at home. Ivan told her to discipline me. So she beat me.” He bites his lower lip. “That wasn’t enough for him, though. I’d brought the police to his door. This was before Katya was born.”
“And how did you get the scar?”
“He held a knife to my eye and sliced deep down my face. He told me the next time I called attention and brought the cops to his door I’d lose an eye.”
“Aiden, that’s horrible.”
My fingers smooth through his hair as he looks like he’s trying to fight the oncoming emotion welling in his eyes. “I’m used to it.”
I pull him into my arms and hold him. I feel him shake softly and cup the back of his head. “Doesn’t make it right.” His being used to it makes it worse.
Finally, he pulls back, rubbing his face.
“What are we going to do today?”
“Who are these for?”
I write down all the ingredients I’m going to need for these cupcakes. We could go downstairs and do this there, but I don’t want to leave my apartment yet.
More than that, I don’t want Aiden to have to put on clothing.
His tan thighs are a bit distracting. How bad I want to be between them is even more so.
Back to work.
Jane only needs three different flavors, and since it’s for an art opening, I want to decorate them specially.
“My sister is an art dealer, and a client of hers has ordered them for a showing. Just testing out some flavors, that’s all.
I’m going to make a rose pistachio cupcake, a raspberry cupcake with raspberry cream in the middle, and then a chocolate-covered strawberry cupcake with strawberry buttercream.
They all have to have pink icing, but different kinds of flavors.
I just want to test out the frosting for the raspberry one. ”
“Are you making frosting?”
I nod, grabbing a bowl. “Just a simple one. The butter I need for the other buttercream is downstairs. I just wanted to try out the whipped cream frosting for the raspberry-cream cupcakes.” I push the bowl between us. “Want to try?”
“Are we making the cupcakes now?”
“Oh no.” I grab heavy cream and powdered sugar.
“The cupcakes can be made days in advance, but this is not due for another week and a half. Whipped cream frosting is always best fresh, though. A few hours is fine, but any more than that it’s not as good.
What I’m going to do is just make sure this is the direction I want to go, then the week of I’ll make the cupcakes and frost them the day before the event. ”
Aiden grabs the bowl. “It’s cold.”
I nod. “You want to do it in a chilled bowl.” I measure out heavy cream, powdered sugar, and vanilla. “Place it in the mixer and turn it on to whip. Not too much. Just until stiff peaks form. We don’t want to make butter.”
Aiden watches the mixer while the machine does its magic.
I want to put fresh raspberries on top, and I need to make the frosting pink.
Maybe I’ll mix in some beet powder. It’ll turn the frosting pink without changing the flavor too much.
Although freeze-dried raspberries might be nice too.
I don’t really like to use dyes if I don’t have to.
“I think it’s done.” He shuts the machine off, and I grab the bowl out and scoop some into a ramekin. I find two tasting spoons then dip one into the frosting and bring it to his lips. He takes it and I watch the way his lips wrap around it. “Oh, wow.” He laughs. “That’s so good.”
I take a clean spoon and dip it in, trying it myself.
In my opinion it came out a little sweet, but that’s okay.
The tartness from the raspberry puree inside will balance it out.
“Once I reopen after the Valentine’s event, I’ll finish these up.
” My hand presses gently on his lower back as I move around him. “Can I see your bandages?”
Aiden looks at me, nodding, and I pull his shirt up slowly.
When I changed the bandages this morning after his shower, some were still seeping.
Luckily, it looks like they’re dry now. Some of the welts aren’t as swollen, but bruising has formed around them.
Mottled dark purple and reds. The lashes are shallow at least.
I gently put his shirt back down and I just can’t help myself, pressing my lips to the back of his neck.
“What are you doing?”
I’m trying so hard not to press too hard against him. I think it hurts worse than he’s letting on. “Kissing you.” I drag his ear between my teeth and feel the way his body shivers against mine. “If that’s okay?”
Aiden turns his head then nods a little.
Now, I’ve been in love before. I’ve felt desire and need.
But I’ve never felt unhinged.
With Aiden it’s like this part of me lets go and I just want to devour him. Every inch of him. My hands on his hips smooth to his front, dipping into his boxers and feeling how hard he is.
I kiss the back of his head then press slow kisses through his hair. He’s moaning softly, pushing back into me, so desperate I don’t even think he realizes he’s doing it.
Resting bitch face my ass.
The expressions on his face play like a movie reel, they’re so expressive and beautiful. “I’ve never felt like this before,” he admits.
That I agree with. “Me either.” His head hangs as I place a kiss on the back of his neck and slip my hand into the front of my boxer’s he’s wearing, squeezing his cock.
I jerk him slowly, pulling back his foreskin then concealing his head with it.
His violet eyes are closed, his soft red lips parted.
I grind myself against his ass, and while having him bent over the counter is the best idea I’ve ever had, I want to do something else.
Something for him.
I don’t know a lot about Aiden’s home life, but what I’ve picked up is terrible.
That kid who came in with him. Katya. The abuse.
I want to take care of him. It’s pleasure, I know it is, but I feel like with Aiden it’s more.
It’s like he lets go. Caves in. Lets me be the one who holds him close and treats him with a gentle hand.
The same man who swore that romance was tedious melts for me now.
It’s a jolt to the ego, sure, but it’s more than that. I feel so much pride knowing he trusts me with this. That he lets go with me.
Just for me.
I grab the edge of his boxers with a questioning tug. “What are you going to do?”
I grin against his neck, pressing a few more kisses there. “I want to see what my frosting tastes better on—my cupcakes or this gorgeous ass.”
He cranes his neck to look at me. “You want to—”
“Very much.” My hands roam his hips, sliding up his abs and then thumbing his nipples.
I feel him buckle against me. “You’re very sensitive, you know that?
” I give them another flick before stroking circles around his peaked brown nipples.
I feel him tremble. “I bet you could come from just this,” I whisper.
“Slow touches like this.” He shivers in my arms. I kiss his shoulder. “You’re shaking.”
“You’re killing me,” he breathes.
“Yeah?”
He nods, closing his eyes, moaning and biting the inside of his cheek. My hand slips into his boxers again, jerking him slowly root to tip before stroking slow circles around his dripping crown.
“Aiden.” I bite his neck. “So much precum.” I pull my hand out of his shorts and bring them to his lips. “Taste.”
Aiden swallows, then sucks my fingers between his lips. Fuck, I want them around my cock.
“You taste good, huh?” I grin. “I remember.” I look over his shoulder and dip my finger into the sample dish of frosting. “Taste.” He watches me out of the corner of his eyes then sucks my fingers clean. “You taste better.”
I swipe another bit of frosting and suck my finger clean.
“Pull your shorts down.” I swipe another bit of frosting as he slowly pulls them down. “F-fuck, Aiden. This ass.” I palm him, kissing him hard, then I take my frosting-covered fingers and run them up his crack. “Want me to see what tastes better?” He nods fast.
I drop to my knees, my fingers spreading him open wide. Fuck. “This is a pretty fucking cunt.” I smooth my thumb around his rim and dive in. “Or did you prefer pussy? I can’t remember.”
“Sawyer, fuck, I don’t care,” he snaps. “Just do something!”
A low chuckle leaves my lips. “So desperate.”
He attempts to crane his neck at me to glare, but it only makes me laugh. I jiggle his cheeks in my hand. Gorgeous fucking ass, pussy, cunt. I don’t even care. It’s paradise, that’s what it is.
I lean in and inhale. My cock thickens. His musky sweet taste hits my tongue and I’m diving back in for more. I hear his cries and feel him collapse against the counter. “Sawyer, fu-fuck, god.”
“Spread your legs wider.” He listens, and I grab his balls, milking them while I feast on him, fueled on the whines spilling from his lips.
I pull his cock back and latch my lips around the tip, sucking him into my mouth.
Fucking sweet. “Grab your cock, Aiden. Jerk yourself off while I eat your ass.”
Aiden listens and I grab his ass, spreading his cheeks as wide as I can. My tongue dips inside that tight ring, wiggling as he groans while stroking his cock. I spread him wider, push my tongue deeper.
“I’m going to come.”
“Already?”
“Fuck you,” he whines, jerking himself faster.
I let go with one hand, dipping it inside my shorts and stroking myself fast. I bury my face between his ass and feel him shake and tremble.
“Sawyer,” he cries out, grabbing the back of my head and pushing me deeper. I can barely breathe. And I love every second of it. “Sawyer, I’m coming. I’m coming.” I moan as I make a mess of my own.
He loosens his grip on my hair and I pull away, taking a deep breath with the dumbest grin on my face.
Aiden’s thighs are shaking, and I crawl between his legs to sit in the mess he made, with my back to the counter, looking up at him.
His cock softens in front of me. I suck it into my mouth and feel him buckle.
“Fuck! Warn me.” He heaves. “I’m dying.” He laughs. “Holy shit.”
He slips his leg out of one boxer leg then drops into my lap. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’ve never been this happy to be clueless.
Our faces are inches apart, breaths mingling in the quiet hum of the kitchen. I don’t know what to say, but with Aiden the silence is easy. It’s in his eyes. It’s like I can see every thought running through his mind.
Slowly, he leans in and my world narrows.
The feather-light touch of his lips sends a jolt through me. Then, like some unspoken understanding, he deepens the kiss. Slow and deliberate. His fingers touch my face. Gentle and light. My hands land on his waist, my thumbs brushing his soft skin.
It’s like time slows while his lips move against mine.
When he finally pulls back, his violet eyes are the softest I’ve ever seen them. It’s scary how badly I don’t want him to leave tonight. His forehead rests on mine, and a smile tugs at my lips. My heart is hammering against my ribcage.
“Did you like it?” I hear him whisper through the fog in my brain.
“Huh?” I feel drunk. Drunk on him.
“Do you like doing that?” he asks, but I snag the vulnerability in his tone. “It’s twice now.”
“Eating your ass?” I laugh. A blush spreads up his temples. I drag his gaze to me then kiss him hard. “I love doing it.” I kiss him again. “Fucking delicious.”
“The frosting or my ass?” Aiden doesn’t joke often, and seeing this side of him warms me. I know he deals with a lot, and maybe I’m projecting, but I like to think he feels safe with me. When he lets his guard down, it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed.
I cup his jaw and thumb just under his bottom lip. I could sit in this kitchen all day and just kiss him. “I can safely say your ass covered in frosting is definitely my favorite.” I grin, tugging him down for a quick kiss. “Unfortunately for everyone else, your ass isn’t on the menu.”