Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
AIDEN
“I don’t think I’ve slept this much maybe in my entire life.
” Sawyer stretches. Sometime during the evening we fell asleep watching some baking competition.
His arm is draped over my stomach, his head on my chest. I have zero strength to move him.
I just watch him slowly rise and fall with my breaths.
My walls have never felt heavier than when he’s around me.
I couldn’t have seen this man coming if I’d tried.
This frustrating man who burns himself out, who can’t accept help for anything. This man who makes me laugh and irritates me both in equal measure. This man who can bake incredible desserts but doesn’t truly understand how talented he is.
His chocolate eyes flutter open, and it takes me a moment, like every day since I found safety in him, to remind myself that this can’t last.
It’s not permanent. It just can’t be.
Don’t get used to it. I can’t have it.
I have a goal, and Katya is relying on me.
We’ve done nothing in this bed for the last few days but sleep and watch TV. The first two days I couldn’t move much, I was so sore, and Sawyer worked on his desserts for the event on Friday while I watched. Now it’s not as bad. Or I’m used to it.
“I’m not usually this tired,” he mumbles.
“You probably are, but now I’m just forcing you to lie in this bed with me. You have no choice but to surrender.” My hand smooths along the muscles of his back, his fingers splayed on my stomach. He lifts his head a little.
“It’s three in the morning.” He groans. “My sleep schedule is fucked.”
I should probably go back home at some point. My heart is breaking.
Ivan still expects me to do this. I won’t stop finding a way out of it, though.
Katya is counting on me.
Everything is calm in this bed. I really don’t want to go back to sleeping in my car. I’m tired of fighting this. Instead, I need to be focused on fighting him. Ivan needs to be taken down.
This whole thing is a mess.
“What are you thinking about?” His finger runs along my jaw, and I look down at him, just taking him in to keep with me when I leave.
One more day.
“Just thinking about never wanting to leave this bed.” It’s the truth. I run my nose along his hair. He still smells sweet from the shower he took with me last night.
“How’s your back?”
The pain has quieted some. The medicine he keeps rubbing on it is helping and it doesn’t hurt now when I have a shirt on.
“Can I see?”
I look down at him before lifting my arm out from under him and rolling onto my side. He lifts my shirt up gently, shining his phone light on my back.
“Oh, baby,” he whispers. I love that name a little too much coming from his lips. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m okay,” I whisper back. “I’ll be okay.”
“This is not okay.” Sawyer gently pulls my shirt back down and then his lips are on my shoulder. He’s so gentle with me. He’s careful not to press against my back, but I feel his heat and slowly move back into him. His cock rubs along my ass.
Hard and waiting.
The perfect distraction from the things I’m feeling. “Sawyer.”
His breath fans over my neck, his lips grazing my skin causing a full-body shiver. He always smells so goddamn sweet. “What?”
I go to say one thing, and then a thought pops into my head. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.” He presses a kiss to my neck.
“When you have sex, which do you prefer?”
Sawyer’s lips freeze on my skin. “You mean do I top or bottom?” I nod. “I top. Why?”
“I want you to fuck me.”
He pulls back, sitting up to look down at me. “Your back—”
“It’s okay.” I lean back into him. “It feels fine. I’ll leave my shirt on.” I’m grinding back now, just needing to turn these thoughts off. “If you want to.”
“I think you can feel how badly I want to.” Sawyer leans down, gently tilting my head to kiss me.
He’s pressed so carefully against me. “Do you need to be fucked, Aiden?” he purrs, and I nod against his lips.
I reach back, finding his hair and tugging him closer.
“Yeah, you need to be fucked.” His lips press to the back of my neck before I feel him get up.
A drawer opens and I try to look behind with zero luck.
I turn a little to watch him. “I want to shower first.” My face burns. I have no clue how to do this. I showered hours ago, but it’ll make me feel better.
“Go ahead.” He kisses the back of my head and I get up.
I peel off my shirt and look in the mirror. The wounds look clean now, though they bled for a day or two after.
In the shower, I scrub myself raw, careful to not get my bandages soaked. I’m eager and equally scared. I’ve never done anything like this before, and I don’t know what to expect.
Then I think about his fingers in the car and everything we’ve done since. I don’t know what to expect, but I know Sawyer will treat me like he always does.
With care.
I turn off the water and dry off with a towel, not bothering to put anything back on. When I walk into the room, Sawyer smiles. “You’re fucking beautiful.”
I look down at my body. “You’re delusional.”
He laughs.
“Can I have another shirt?”
Sawyer nods, going to his dresser and handing me a blue T-shirt. I take it, slipping it on, and then inhale. Fuck. “Smells like you.”
“Yeah?” He walks over to me, kissing my lips with a gentle touch. He reaches between my legs stroking my cock. “Get on the bed, Aiden.”
I lie down on my back and watch him settle between my legs. I draw them up, looking down at him.
“You sure?” My nerves are starting to rattle me. What if it’s not good? What if he gets bored or something doesn’t feel right?
I can’t relax.
“I’m sure.” His palm lands on my ass cheek and he jiggles it with his hand. “Obsessed with this ass.” He runs his fingers along my skin. “Sexy stretch marks.” His fingers touch and play like they’re helpless to do anything else.
“You think stretch marks are sexy?”
“Yes.” He traces his fingers over the little white lines from my hips all the way over my cheeks.
I’ve always had them for as long as I can remember.
“You’re stunning.” He presses slow kisses to the inside of my thigh, soft and lingering, while his warm eyes watch me.
My mouth parts when I feel his breath on my balls.
He pulls my ass apart. Warm air crawls along my crack. His hands rest on my hips. “Sawyer, what—”
Whatever I try to say morphs into a moan. Warm wet heat licks along my ass crack and up along my balls until he travels his tongue up to the crown of my cock.
His lips wrap around my head, sucking me into his mouth, and my fingers tighten in the sheets. Oh fuck. I hear the click of a cap before his wet hand runs along the seam of my balls. His hand moves along my crack, rubbing, massaging, driving me crazy.
His pinky runs over my hole.
He slips inside and my body tenses at the slight pressure. Then I’m taken back to the night of the car. His fingers. His lips. My stomach dips as he slides it all the way inside. Thrusting in and out, in and out, he leans in, kissing the crease where my pelvic bone meets my thigh.
“So warm, Aiden.”
He kisses again, then nips my thigh.
“Can this pretty cunt stretch for me? Or did we land on pussy?” I feel him grin. “I can’t remember.” I groan when he slips his ring finger in with his pinky.
“I don’t care,” I choke out. Whatever he wants to call it, it’s his. My body is all fucking his. His thumb smooths along my crease. It’s like being massaged from the inside out.
“Does this feel good?”
I reach for him, trying to touch him. I want to feel him. He kisses that spot then nuzzles his nose into my pubes with a groan as his fingers stretch me. The loose shirt is enough of a barrier for my back. It aches, but it’s nothing like the fire I felt when I first came here.
I don’t know if I’m numb to it or just so fucking happy here in this bed that I don’t care about the pain.
“Get naked.” I groan as he reaches deeper. “Sawyer—”
“Yeah?”
I nod. His fingers stretch me and I push back, needing more, craving his fingers deeper.
His soft lips map a path over the sensitive skin between my balls and my ass.
I don’t deserve this slice of happiness, but I’m drowning here in this bed and I don’t want to come up for air.
“Carefully spread your legs a little more.”
Then he stands up and takes his boxers off. My eyes go right to his dick. I reach out, running my fingertips down the defined lines of his abs. His cock juts forward.
He gets back on the bed between my thighs, and I grab myself under my knees, pulling my legs back.
“Damn.” His hands land on my ass, giving them a jiggle before he grabs my cheeks and spreads me open.
“Fuck, Aiden.” Kisses land on the inside of my thighs, close to my balls, before he peppers them softly all over my skin.
His fingers rub my rim before they’re replaced by the warm, heavenly stroke of his tongue.
“Oh shit.” I reach for him as he licks and sucks my hole.
“Holy shit.” Fuck, this feels—“Sawyer.” My head hits the pillow as I grab the back of his head and pull him deeper.
He rewards me with his tongue, the soft slide setting my skin on fire.
His fingers wrap around my cock, milking me as his tongue works me open.
I’ve never felt a thing like it. All the while he hums and moans happily, pushing me over the edge.
It’s a soft tease, and his chuckle when I whine is cuter than I want it to be.
“You taste so fucking good.” He dives back in. Takes his time. I’m a fucking puddle by the time he lets up and fits himself over me. His soft heat and sweet smell fill my lungs and I swallow, ignoring the tightening in my gut.
It’s just sex.
No big deal.
People have sex all the time. Sawyer has sex all the time, most likely.