Chapter 24
Leona had been staring at the same section of embroidery for the past hour without actually seeing it.
Her needle remained poised above the fabric, thread dangling uselessly, while her mind replayed the scene in Murdock’s study for what must have been the thousandth time.
The feel of his hands on her skin. The devastating pleasure he’d wrung from her body. The way he’d looked at her afterward, vulnerable and raw and still so impossibly closed off.
This is what I can give ye… Why is it nae enough?
Because it wasn’t. It would never be enough. And she’d told him as much when she’d finally found her voice, when she’d managed to fix her clothes and face him with what little dignity she had left.
The memory made her chest ache.
“This is what I can give ye. This passion. This protection. This… devotion to yer pleasure, to yer safety, to yer happiness. Why is it nae enough?”
“Because I want yer heart, too, me Laird.”
She’d left before he could respond. Before she could see whatever expression crossed his face at her use of his title rather than his name. Before she could change her mind and tell him that maybe it could be enough, that maybe she could learn to live with half of what she wanted.
But she couldn’t. She’d witnessed her parents’ marriage, had seen what real love looked like, and she couldn’t settle for less. Not even to save her own life.
So she’d hidden in her chambers for two days, taking her meals alone, avoiding everyone, including Rufus, who’d knocked several times with increasing concern. She’d told the maids she was preparing for the wedding, but in truth, she was trying to gather the strength to go through with it.
To marry a man who wanted her but wouldn’t love her.
A knock at the door made her jump, the needle piercing the fabric with such force that it sent the embroidery hoop flying.
“I’m fine,” she called out, not bothering to hide the irritation in her voice. “I daenae need anythin'.”
The door opened anyway.
Leona turned, a sharp rebuke on the tip of her tongue, then stopped. These weren’t the maids or Rufus coming to check on her for the dozenth time.
Two women stood in the doorway, both beautiful, both watching her with open curiosity and bright smiles.
“Lady Leona?” the younger one asked, her voice warm and enthusiastic. “We’re sorry to intrude, but we simply couldnae wait any longer. I’m Ailis, and this is me sister, Kristen. We’re Murdock’s sisters.”
Leona stood quickly, smoothing her skirts with hands that trembled slightly. “His sisters. Of course. I… forgive me, I didnae ken ye were comin'.”
“Neither did Murdock, from what we’ve gathered,” Kristen said with a laugh as she entered the room. She was slightly older and more reserved than Ailis, but her eyes held genuine warmth. “Hamish invited us. Said our brother was getting married, and it would be a shame if his family missed it.”
“We’ve been travelin' for two days straight,” Ailis added, practically bouncing into the room. “The roads were terrible, and I swear every rock in the Highlands found its way under our wagon wheels. But we’re here now, and just in time!”
She moved to the window, looking out at the courtyard below, where preparations were clearly underway.
“Look at all of this! The flowers, the ribbons. Cook must be overwhelmed by all the food she has to prepare. Is she still making those honey cakes? The ones with the crystallized ginger?”
“I… I daenae ken,” Leona admitted. “I’ve nae been very involved in the preparations.”
“Too nervous?” Kristen asked kindly, lowering herself into a chair. “I remember me weddin' day. Could barely eat for a week beforehand.”
“The entire clan is buzzin' with excitement,” Ailis continued, still at the window.
“We passed dozens of people on our way in, all talking about the weddin'.
Some of the younger lasses were practically swoonin' over how romantic it all is. The fierce Laird, finally tamed by love.” She turned back with a grin.
“Though between ye and me, I daenae think Murdock has ever been tamed by anythin'.”
“Certainly nae by sense or reason,” Kristen added dryly. “Our brother is as stubborn as they come.”
Ailis laughed. “Do ye remember when he decided he could jump the creek on that half-feral horse? Broke his arm in three places and still insisted on tryin' again the next week.”
“Maither was furious,” Kristen said, her voice softening slightly. “That was shortly before she… well…” She paused, something unreadable crossing her face.
“But ye ken Murdock. Once he sets his mind to somethin', there’s nay stoppin' him.” Ailis’s expression shuttered for just a moment before she recovered with a bright smile.
“Speakin' of which,” she said, moving closer to examine the wedding gown that hung near the wardrobe. “Is this what ye’re wearin'? Oh, it’s beautiful! Look at the lacework on the bodice. The seamstresses here are truly talented.”
She ran her fingers over the fabric with clear appreciation. “And the color suits ye perfectly. The cream with the blue undertones. Very elegant. Much better than the pure white everyone seems to favor these days. White shows every speck of dust.”
“Ailis has opinions about fashion,” Kristen explained with obvious affection. “She redesigned every gown in her wardrobe the year after she married Killian.”
“Because they were all terrible,” Ailis protested. “Dark, heavy things that made me look like I was in mournin'. I wanted color. Life. Somethin' that felt like me rather than what someone else thought I should be.”
“And now her wardrobe is a rainbow,” Kristen teased. “Killian says he can spot her from across a field.”
“He likes it,” Ailis said firmly. “Says it’s like havin' sunshine follow him everywhere.”
Despite herself, Leona’s lips curved slightly. “That’s sweet.”
“It is,” Ailis agreed, her expression softening.
“He’s a good man. Patient with me. Understandin'.” She turned back to the gown.
“Now, have ye tried this on yet? We should make sure it fits properly. There’s nothin' worse than discoverin' on yer weddin' day that the bodice is too tight or the hem is too long.”
“The maids fitted it yesterday,” Leona assured. “It should be fine.”
“Should be and is are two different things,” Kristen said practically. “Try it on for us. Let us see.”
“I’d really rather nae.”
“Please?” Ailis’s eyes were wide and pleading. “I’ve been dreamin' of weddin' preparations the entire ride here.”
Soon, the sisters were helping her into the gown, fussing over the laces and the fall of the fabric with the practiced ease of women who’d done this many times before.
“There,” Ailis said, stepping back to survey their work. “Oh, Leona. Ye’re absolutely beautiful.”
“She’s right,” Kristen agreed, her voice warm. “Murdock is goin' to lose his mind when he sees ye.”
“Assumin' he even looks at me properly,” Leona muttered, then wished she’d kept her mouth shut.
But Ailis had heard. “What do ye mean?”
“Nothin'. Just…” Leona gestured helplessly at her reflection in the polished metal mirror. “It doesnae matter how I look if he’s nae really seein' me, does it?”
The sisters exchanged glances again, that wordless communication that came from years of shared understanding.
“Let’s sit,” Kristen said gently. “The gown looks perfect on ye. Ye can change back in a moment.”
She guided Leona to the bed while Ailis settled into the chair, both of them watching her with concern.
“Now,” Ailis said. “Tell us everythin'. How did ye meet? Was it terribly romantic? Did he sweep ye off yer feet with a grand gesture?”
“It was…” Leona searched for the right word. “Complicated.”
“The best stories usually are,” Kristen said. “Ignore me sister. She’s been reading too many romance novels lately.”
“I havenae!” Ailis protested. “I simply appreciate a good love story. And our brother finally findin' someone after all these years… well, that’s worth celebratin'.”
“Did he never… Was there never a chance for him to marry again? After his first wife died?” Leona heard herself ask.
“He never wanted to,” Kristen said, her voice softening. “Threw himself into his duties, into raising Skye. Said he’d had his chance at marriage and wouldnae try again.”
“He only cared about protectin' the clan, protectin' us, and now he forgets that there’s more to life than responsibility,” Ailis said.
“Speaking of the clan,” she added, clearly trying to lighten the mood, “did ye hear about Councilman Malcolm’s wife? Apparently, she’s expectin' again. Their fifth child.”
“Fifth!” Kristen shook her head in amazement. “How does she manage? I have three, and some days I feel like I’m drownin'.”
“Ye love every minute of it,” Ailis said knowingly.
“Aye, I do,” Kristen admitted with a grin. “Though I’ll nae be havin' a fifth. Neil agreed that three was plenty after they nearly destroyed our home last winter.”
“What did they do?” Leona asked, finding herself drawn into the conversation despite her earlier determination to keep her distance.
“Decided to ‘help’ with the bakin',” Kristen said, making air quotes. “Somehow, they got flour everywhere. And I mean everywhere. We were finding it in odd corners for months. Neil found some in his boot last week.”
Ailis laughed. “At least they’re creative.”
“Creative is one word for it,” Kristen snorted. “Exhaustin' is another. But I wouldnae trade them for anythin'. Even when they’re drivin' me to distraction.”
“Speakin' of children,” Ailis said. “Have ye met Skye yet, Leona?”
“Aye,” Leona said, softening for the first time in two days. “She’s wonderful. Smart and kind and so full of life.”
“She takes after Murdock in many ways,” Ailis said. “That same determination. That fierce protectiveness of the people she loves.”
“But she’s lighter than he is,” Kristen added. “Less burdened. It’s nice to see.”
“She’s been helpin' plan the weddin',” Leona revealed. “Very enthusiastically.”