Chapter 24 #2
“That sounds like Skye,” Ailis said with a laugh. “I cannae wait to see her again. It’s been too long.” She turned her attention back to the window, watching the activity below. “Oh, look. Is that Fraser? He’s grown so old. And there’s Angus. Still as stern-faced as ever, I see.”
“Some things never change,” Kristen agreed. “Though the castle looks wonderful. Better than I remember from our last visit. Murdock’s been makin' improvements.”
“He always does,” Ailis said. “Always tryin' to make things better, stronger, safer.” She turned back to Leona with a softer expression. “That’s who he is, ye ken. A protector. Sometimes to a fault.”
Something in her tone made Leona look up sharply. Ailis was watching her now with more perception than her cheerful chatter had suggested.
“Ye look sad,” she noted quietly, moving to sit beside Leona. “Why do ye look so sad on yer weddin' day?”
The direct question, asked with such genuine concern, made Leona’s carefully constructed walls crack. She felt tears prick her eyes and blinked them back furiously.
“I’m fine,” she managed. “Just… nervous. As ye said.”
“That’s nae nervousness,” Ailis said gently. “That’s heartbreak. I ken the difference.” She reached out to take Leona’s hand. “What’s wrong, sweetheart? And daenae say nothin'. We’re goin' to be sisters soon. Ye can tell us.”
Leona looked between the two women, seeing only kindness and genuine concern on their faces. They didn’t know her, had no reason to care about her troubles, but they were offering comfort anyway.
“He’s protectin' me,” she said finally. “From me cousin. That’s why we’re getting' married. For protection.”
“Ah,” Kristen hummed, understanding dawning in her eyes. “So it’s an arrangement.”
“Aye. An arrangement.” Leona’s voice was hollow. “He’s givin' me his protection, his name, but nae his…” She stopped, unable to continue.
“Heart,” Ailis finished softly.
Leona nodded, not trusting her voice.
The sisters exchanged glances, something passing between them that Leona couldn’t quite read.
“Our brother is…” Kristen started, then paused, searching for the right words. “He’s complicated.”
“He’s afraid,” Ailis corrected. “That’s what he is. Terrified of lettin' anyone too close.”
“Why?” Leona asked, the question bursting from her before she could stop it. “What happened to make him so afraid of…” She gestured helplessly. “Of this? Of carin' about someone?”
Kristen opened her mouth to respond, but Ailis touched her arm gently, stopping her.
“That’s nae our story to tell,” Ailis said quietly. “Those are his demons to share, when he’s ready.”
“But I’m marryin' him in hours,” Leona protested, her frustration bleeding through. “How am I supposed to understand him, to help him, if I daenae ken what I’m fightin' against?”
“Maybe ye should try askin' him,” Kristen suggested gently. “Really asking. Nae in anger or frustration, but as someone who genuinely wants to understand.”
“I’ve tried,” Leona said, her voice breaking. “But he shuts down. Pushes me away. Tells me he cannae give me what I need and offers nay explanation for why.”
“He’s protectin' ye,” Ailis said. “In his own twisted way, he thinks keepin' ye at a distance is safer. For both of ye.”
“But it’s nae safe,” Leona whispered. “It’s lonely. And cold. And I cannae live like that. I cannae marry someone who willnae let me in, who sees carin' as a weakness rather than a strength.”
Silence fell between them. Ailis still held Leona’s hand, her grip warm and comforting. Kristen watched with troubled eyes.
“What if I told ye,” Ailis said slowly, “that despite everythin', despite all his walls and his fears, I think me brother cares for ye more than he’s willin' to admit?”
“Maybe ye’re right,” Leona said. “But I need more than just scraps of affection, even when he thinks I’m nae paying attention.”
“Aye,” Kristen agreed. “Ye deserve more than that. The question is whether ye’re willin' to wait for him to figure out how to give it.”
“I’ve been waitin',” Leona said. “I’ve been patient. I’ve tried to show him that love doesnae have to be destructive, that carin' about someone doesnae mean losin' yerself. But he willnae listen. He’s so convinced that…” She stopped, not sure how to finish.
“That he’ll become someone he’s nae?” Ailis suggested gently.
Leona nodded.
“He’s carried that fear for a long time,” Kristen said. “Since he was young. Since before…” She glanced at Ailis, who gave a small nod. “Since before a lot of things happened that showed him what power could do when wielded without care.”
“But he’s nae that person,” Leona said desperately. “He’s gentle with Skye. Patient with his people. He’s nothin' like…” She paused. “Like whatever he’s afraid of becomin'.”
“We ken that,” Ailis said. “Ye ken that. But he doesnae. Nae yet. Nae fully.”
“Then how do I make him see it?” Leona asked. “How do I convince him that he’s allowed to be happy? That lovin' someone willnae destroy them both?”
“I daenae ken,” Ailis admitted. “I wish I did. But our brother is stubborn. Once he’s decided somethin', changin' his mind is like tryin' to move a mountain with yer bare hands.”
“He’s nae always been like this, though,” Kristen added thoughtfully. “When we were young, before… Well, before things got difficult, he used to laugh more. Used to believe in things like hope and happiness.”
“What changed?” Leona asked.
“Life,” Kristen said simply. “Responsibility. Loss.” She paused. “Fear.”
“Fear of what, exactly?” Leona pressed. “What is he so afraid of? He told me his father wasnae the best of men, but--”
Ailis opened her mouth to respond, but a deep voice from the doorway interrupted.
“Ye should put those questions to me.”