Chapter 35 Evan
EVAN
“What do you think to this for the Life of Wine logo?” I ask Nate, turning my screen towards him.
Nate rises from his seat in our office and takes the few steps over to my desk, tucking a loose piece of his white shirt into his trousers.
My eyes wander over his broad chest and lower, below his belt. I pull my focus back to the screen before Nate notices. The more time I spend with him and Nora, the more I want them, and not just sexually. Fuck, this is so hard.
He rests his hand on the back of my chair and leans over me. “I like it.”
“Nora did the doodle of the wine glass and paintbrush.” I click the mouse to enlarge it on the screen.
Nate places his hand over mine and moves the mouse over the letter V.
Warmth spreads through my fingers and arm as his rough, calloused hand envelops mine.
“Life with an F, not a V.” He makes the change on my keyboard, but doesn’t make fun of me.
“Oh yeah. Thanks.”
His other hand moves from the back of my chair to my back and slides up to my neck. “No problem.” His eyes lock on mine, a smile on his lips, and I’m fucking mush.
I need to get a grip. Need to stop having intrusive thoughts about my best friend. It’s one thing to be with his wife, but being with him is crossing so many boundaries. At least with Nora I have an excuse, even if we’ve moved past it being purely functional.
“You wanna grab a pint after work?”
My stomach curdles. I’m never drinking again after getting trolleyed the other night with Emilie. “I’m on a detox.”
“Come round tonight, then?” His touch sears into my hand over the mouse, his other burning into my neck.
I gulp. “I didn’t think Nora would be ovulating so soon.”
“She’s not, but does it matter?”
“I’d made plans for tonight.”
He straightens his spine, moves his hands to his hips. “Oh, who with?”
“I have friends, you know. Other than you and Nora.”
My phone vibrates on the desk. Nate zeroes in on Emilie’s name lighting up the screen, his eyes widening as his jaw flexes and he strides back to his desk.
I slide the bar across the screen to answer her call and put the phone to my ear. “Hey, Em.”
“Hiya. Are we still on for tonight?”
“Yeah. I’ll meet you at the hotel after work. About six ish.”
Nate stares at his computer, his fingers hitting the keys on the keyboard as if he’s trying to break them.
“Great. See you then.”
“Bye.” I cancel the call and place my phone back on my desk with a gulp. “It’s not what—”
“It’s none of my business who you fuck. But I thought you’d have more respect for Nora.” He doesn’t look at me when he speaks.
“I’m just going for a meal—”
He stands from his desk, his chair wheeling back and hitting the wall. “Is that where you were the other night when I invited you round?” He faces me, eyes filled with rage and hurt. “Or are you avoiding us?”
I stand from the desk and hit the button for the blinds. There’s no need for the staff to see us arguing. “Yes, I went to meet her. She’s staying in the city for an art exhibition she’s doing.”
“Ev.” He scrubs a hand over his face and lets out a ragged breath.
I scamper towards the corner of the room to the coat hook and lift off my jacket, needing to put some distance between us.
Nate pushes me up against the wall and cages me in. “Don’t go.”
I’m not sure if he means don’t leave the office or don’t meet Emilie tonight.
My chest breaks in two. I want to please him, but he’s right. I have been avoiding him. For two weeks, I’ve been avoiding both of them. It’s no longer just about getting Nora pregnant for me. And I don’t think it is for them either. I have to protect my heart.
“I’m sorry, Nate. I can’t do this anymore.” My head hangs low in shame. The last thing I want to do is let them down, but I just can’t do it.
“Don’t do this. Please.” He’s begging me and more of my heart cracks. “At least do it for Nora. I don’t even have to be there if it’s too much.” His eyes glaze over as if a dark storm swirls in the depths. “Please don’t let her down.”
I swallow hard. “I won’t let Nora down. When she’s next ovulating, I’ll be here.”
His face hardens. “And in the meantime you’re just gonna fuck around with Emilie?”
I push at his chest, annoyed that he thinks I could disrespect her like that. “I’m not fucking anyone else, you idiot.”
He points his index finger to his chest. “I’m the idiot?”
“If you can’t see what’s going on here, then yeah, you’re a fucking idiot.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” He steps back, giving us both some breathing room.
“You’re asking me to come round, but we both know what’s gonna happen if I do.” My voice is louder than it should be, and I’m thankful for the soundproofing we have in here.
“I thought you enjoyed it.”
“Yeah, Nate. I fucking do. Too much. And that’s the problem.” My body vibrates as I loosen my tie, needing more air.
“I don’t get why that’s a problem. She likes you too. We’re all consenting adults.”
“But you’re not the one who’s gonna get tossed to the kerb when the baby comes.” I shrug my jacket on. “You think there’s gonna be room for me in your bed with a screaming baby keeping you up all night?”
“I’ll never toss you to the kerb.” His eyes soften, and he reaches a hand to my shoulder and squeezes.
“Three’s a crowd when the baby comes, Nate. It was fun, but we need to put a lid on it now. I’m falling for Nora and she’s not mine to fall in love with.”
He massages my shoulder, but he’s not helping the tension—he’s just creating more. “What if she wanted you too?”
“She’s not the only one I’m falling for.” I choke on the last word, my mouth dry as if I’ve eaten a pack of tissues, my tongue heavy, and I can’t speak or form any more words. They all scramble in my head.
Nate surveys me, his hand warm on my shoulder. His chest rising and falling with each ragged breath. He steps closer. Both hands now heating my skin as he holds my face between his palms. “Who else are you falling for, Ev?”
“If you don’t know, then you really are an idiot.”
His thumbs caress my jaw. “I need to hear you say it.”
It’s as if all the air has evaporated, and I need oxygen.
My knees weaken, threatening to give way at any minute.
He’s inches from my lips, our eyes locked in a trance, him willing me to speak, but I can’t breathe, let alone do much else.
Just as I think my heart will beat its way out of my chest, I reach up and pull his face towards mine.
Our lips meet, his warm and soft—a contrast to his rough fingers and unshaven jaw.
He pulls back, making eye contact with me again, but only for a second before he takes control and pushes me back against the wall.
His entire body presses against me as he breathes life into me, giving me what I need.
His tongue slips through my parted lips and he dominates, swirling his tongue around mine, his hands wandering, exploring my body until they reach my ass and he squeezes there, grinding his erection against mine and I’m finished.
The box is unlocked and I don’t ever want to seal it again.
“Fuck, Evan,” he murmurs against my lips, then kisses me again. No, devours, and I kiss him back, duelling for dominance.
My hands have a mind of their own as I slide them over his chest and down until I reach his belt.
I’ve never touched a man’s cock before, but I’m desperate to feel the weight of Nate’s in my hand.
Over his trousers, I stroke him, and he reciprocates, matching my movements with his own, his large hand squeezing me through the cloth. I might come in my boxers.
“Nate. Holy shit.” I breathe into him, my head light, but I need more. I need him.
“Ev.” My name on his lips is like a plea. He wants me too. His mouth claims mine, his hands torturous as they stroke me, but it’s not enough. I need us both naked. I need him inside me, filling me. Owning me.
The office phone rings. Lou’s line flashing.
I freeze. We’re at work. The door isn’t locked. Anyone could walk in.
Nate steps back.
Both of us gaze into each other’s eyes, breathless.
I reach out to straighten Nate’s tie and then step aside and around the desk to answer the phone. “Yes?”
“I have someone on the phone wanting to know if we can print one thousand brochures today.”
A laugh bursts from my chest. “Sure. I’ll just stay here all night and shove a broom up my arse while I’m at it.”
Nate silently laughs.
“What planet are these people on?”
Nate strides over to the desk and speaks into the speaker. “If it’s artwork supplied, they can have them by the end of the week. Tell them to email all the details to me, and I’ll process the order.”
“I’ll let them know,” Louise says. “Oh, and before I forget, Nora left for the day. She said she’d see you at home.”
“Thank you, Louise.” Nate presses the button on the phone to end the call.
We both stand here unmoving, silence filling the space between us, but this time it’s not awkward.
Nate scratches the short hairs on his jaw, a lazy smirk tugging at his mouth. “So that just happened.”
“Yeah.” I run my fingers through my hair, my ears ringing.
I want to kiss him again. Being in his arms is the only place that feels right.
He calms me even as he makes my pulse race, like a wave hitting the shore—violent, yet soothing.
My feet move of their own accord, my body knowing where it belongs.
A knock at the door has me turning away from him and sitting in my chair. “Yes?”
Cal opens the door. “Evan, the owners from the gym are here. I’ve set up the presentation in the conference room. You gonna be long?”
“Give me five minutes.” I hunt through the paperwork on my desk.
“Looking for this?” Nate holds up my notebook, and my shoulders relax a little.
Cal closes the door.
“Thanks.” I stand from the chair and run a hand through my hair.
“Here, let me.” Nate bats my hands away and rakes his fingers through my hair, styling it. “There, you look good.”
“There’s really nothing going on with Emilie. I just needed someone to talk to.”
Both of his large hands rest on my shoulders. “You can talk to me.”
“I couldn’t exactly talk to you about you, could I?”
“Well, you can now.” His weighty hands squeeze my muscles, easing the tension in my shoulders.
I push my glasses up the bridge of my nose. “Will you tell Nora?”
“How about you come over later, after you’ve had a drink with Emilie, and we can tell her together.”
“Will she be okay?”
Nate shrugs. “I don’t know, but I don’t want to keep this a secret from her.”
“Me neither.”
His fingers curl around my neck, his thumb caressing my cheek. “Go to your meeting. We can talk about this later. The three of us.”
I stroll towards the door and turn back. “What even is this?”
Nate considers me from behind his desk. “I don’t know, but I don’t want it to stop.”