Chapter 9
“Enough mooning.” An indelicate touch came to my elbow, starling me enough that I spilled a bit of my drink. Recognizing that voice, I knew at once it was Miranda yanking me away. Handsy and insistent, she said, “Cyderial, you are going to have to hand her over now. We want to get to know your Lorieyn. Go speak to the men and behave yourself. You can have her back when we’re done.”
Shaking droplets of liquid from my fingers, I found it was not just Miranda who had approached. Several of the women, all friendly and smiling, had come to collect me.
And they were not asking.
Drawing me into their sphere, Cyderial was forced to relinquish me. Though, he had grown stiff, a vein throbbing at his temple.
I could not imagine anyone other than ancient Miranda getting away with such a scheme. Not when he looked ready to snatch me right back to see if I might pet him more.
Waving off his irritation, Miranda tugged me away. “He’ll be fine. Come.”
The ringleader of the introduction marched me to a grouping of tables the ladies had pulled together, seating me right in the middle. My back to the general, he was out of my line of sight. A tactical move on Miranda’s part, her smirk over my head toward my mate troublesome.
Taking the seat across from me, her flowing floral garment billowing enough I could see a belly no different than mine, Miranda settled in.
With a wink and a large gulp of her wine, the ageless beauty said, “You seem much less the frightened mouse tonight. I assume he has been behaving himself?”
Unsure what to make of her, I remained rigid. “Hello again, Miranda.”
“Look at you, the picture of mated bliss.” Leaning forward, she gave an unsettling grin. “You are navigating the situation beautifully.”
Gesturing at my burgeoning belly, I said, “You could have explained this to me.”
“You figured it out!” She cackled, patting her own bump. “We all do, don’t we, girls?”
That sent the women at the table laughing, several murmuring to one another in voices too low for me to hear.
I didn’t find it amusing at all. “You expect me to fall in line and submit; you made that very clear. But he was not happy that you told me about the arena yet failed to guide me with any useful female knowledge.”
“Sweetheart, no one expects you to fall in line. I am just trying to save you years wasted on regret. You didn’t want him, but you have him now.” She looked around at the women gathered, a collection of mated hybrids of standing, and said, “There is enough wisdom at this table to assure you there is no escaping the inevitable. I really am trying to help you.”
Perhaps to a point, but I had the very real sense she was trying to wield some control over Cyderial through me. Ultimately, she had an agenda. So did I.
And I was shameless. “Good, because I need your help.”
I had her attention, her interest, and her smile as she sat back and waited to hear what so young a female might want. “Do tell.”
A deep breath expanded my ribcage, my back as straight as my belly might allow. “It is a horrible thing, keeping females in the dark. Purposefully sustaining our ignorance about our bodies, the addiction, and a male’s ability to manipulate our senses. We have a right to know what they intend to do with us. Unmated females should be taught about sex. You can help me convince the men.”
She gave a low whistle. “The way the world is now, it is not safe for unmated females. Some humans are depraved and dream of opening a hybrid girl. Many hybrid males cannot control their urges, even without a song to draw them in. Those who can—” Her eyes went past me to where the general had been standing at the bar. “—have no reason to cede knowledge when they gain nothing from it.”
I sat taller, wishing I felt more confident. “Cyderial promised to support me.”
Surprise was open on the faces of many of the woman gathered around me, but not on Miranda’s. A chilling question on her lips, she leaned forward. “I wonder why he would want to change something that no longer directly affects his mate?”
Because it was what I wanted, and I was right.
But… it didn’t matter if I was right, did it?
And there were many things I wanted that he was more than happy to deny me.
Such as the fog.
A heart-shaped face and short, bouncing brunette curls, the woman in the seat at my side introduced herself. “I’m Valentyna. Mate to that one.” She pointed to one of the males who approached to converse with Cyderial. A Cyderial who had yet to break his gaze away from me, I found when I turned around to see who she gestured to. “Commander Silva. Our mates are practically brothers.”
The concept of Cyderial having close friends felt so odd that I had no idea how to reply beyond, “It’s nice to meet you.”
Valentyna gave me a smile. “Is it true he waited ten years to claim you? He let you grow into adulthood?”
Nodding, I agreed, “Yes. I met him when I was twelve.”
As if Valentyna were half in love with him herself, she gave him a longing stare. “I was fourteen when my mate claimed me. Other women at this table were taken even younger. Unmated girls are now locked away under armed guard, and still, it isn’t enough. The most determined brutes find a way.”
Another female, who looked an awful lot like Maeve, whispered, “I was opened and raped in a closet at the academy by a Watcher forty years ago. He kept his hand over my mouth to keep me quiet, but I couldn’t breathe. I still have nightmares while I’m sleeping in the arms of the man who did that to me. The saddest part is, there are far worse stories than mine.”
A communal melancholy descended over the group, each woman at the table remembering a moment of their own dark history.
Staring down at my drink, I muttered, “I know now that he was careful with me, but I was still terrified. When it started, I was so confused. None of it was expected nor encouraged. He wouldn’t stop…” The heart of my grief lay in the following confession. “And now I know it was my fault things at the academy were so awful. The punishments are extreme; boys can be hung for looking at a female too long. My song made Cyderial insane for ten years, and everyone suffered for it.”
“You are giving yourself far too much credit,” Miranda interjected, gentle enough, and she reached to pat my hand. “The man you are mated to isn’t the average hybrid male. Were our world different, he would be our king. Your song may have caused him to suffer as he practiced restraint—because he could have mated you any time he wished—but I assure you, every choice he made in your keeping and in the care of the recruits, he did so fully aware of the long-term consequences of his actions. You are not responsible for any of it.”
Miranda’s history was her own, but mine was ugly and unnecessary. “He’s murdered children.”
“It isn’t that simple, and you know it,” she said, urging me to pay attention. “Grieve them; that is noble. But do it with your eyes open. We are walking a knife’s edge of existence, and it is his duty to keep you alive. As a general, it is his duty to keep us all alive. Young as you are, you cannot image what he is up against.”
I still could see the redheaded boy’s face when the Watchers descended upon our hiding place. That terror he’d known, I would never forget. “It’s a pity he didn’t mate you, Miranda. You’re just as ruthless as he is.”
She grinned, and in a face so lovely, it was truly a hideous thing. “I think God had a hand in delivering you right to his feet, ruthless as I may be. You suit him, and you’re using the freedom he is allowing you, not to seek pleasure and play, but to come here, barely more than a child, in an attempt to convince powerful hybrids to go against their best interests so your sisters may not suffer as we did. I’m too jaded to even remember what idealism may have felt like.”
Then it would be my job to remind her. “Is it against their best interests if their mates are happy? If their females are loving and feel safe?”
Cocking a brow, Miranda asked, “Are you loving? Do you love General Cyderial? Has he benefited from this experiment at all?”
He had sworn to me that I would love him one day. Deep down, I was terrified that day would come far sooner than it should. “I haven’t been locked away. He puts effort into my care. He’s taken time to educate himself for my benefit. He even brought you into his home to help remedy a mistake. I can respect and appreciate those things. Considering our history, that is sufficient for now.”
Chuckling, Miranda pulled a face. “Idealistic and magnanimous—no wonder he’s madly taken with you.”
I felt like I’d been slapped.
“Why are we not on the same side in this?” My sisters at the academy would’ve never actively worked against the betterment of the whole.
She clicked her tongue, shaking her head at me. “You misunderstand. I am your greatest supporter. As someone who is much older and far wiser, I have knowledge that has yet to fit into your innocent noodle. But one thing I will not tolerate is self-delusion.”
Eager to say her piece, Miranda continued, “You’re confused by your feelings. He’s claimed you against your will, and you woke up to find your personal demon is now all affection and sweetness. How could you possibly fit the two extremes into one character? He has given you liberties few hybrid females have ever known, promised you support to confront his comrades’ exploitation of unmated females.” Her eyes narrowed. “The same man who executed a boy caught out of the dorms in a private math lesson with a little Lorieyn, who was only intent on saving him from failing and subsequent execution.”
Miranda brushed it off like it was nothing, gesturing at my tight expression. “Yes, he told me that you have refused the truth of the matter. Private Cullen—was that his name?—confessed he intended to assault you. It is Cyderial’s duty to mete out punishment, and considering the boy was only hung and not ripped limb from limb, I would say he was even temperate. But you refuse to see what was done was done out of necessity, and even done well. My mate would have gutted the boy and rolled around in the viscera. I may have been served his hearts for dessert.”
Commenting on an experience she had not lived fueled my antagonism. “You think that is the only issue between us? You told me to get on my knees and please him for your cause.” I was angrier about her inferences than I realized, my tone very unfriendly. “You expected this of me, knowing he raped me days before!”
Eyebrows waggling, Miranda pursed her lips. “And you are still angry that he forced you into a bond you didn’t ask for. Let’s talk about that, shall we? For years, you manipulated your test scores in hopes you’d be assigned the position of surveyor.” Looking to the engrossed women watching us spar, she said, “Our little dove here craves the fog, an eager explorer hellbent on self-destruction.” Then those terrible green eyes came right back to me. “When Cyderial denied your graduation and confronted you about the deception, you took matters into your own hands. Armed with a fragment of misinformation, you snuck out of the academy, seeking any male to ruin you, under the impression that once it was done, there would be no barrier between yourself and the position you desired so greatly.”
Wagging a finger at me, she spilled my secrets to every woman watching. “But things did not go as you thought they would. You didn’t know how men would behave. Several pursued you and your foolish cohort across the city in a mad rampage. You ran home to the academy for shelter. You ran right to the very man who must have aged a thousand years to learn you somehow slipped his trap. He almost lost you.”
Tilting her head as if considering it all from a new angle, Miranda sighed. “Cyderial waited all those years, urging you to choose the list, so he might court you properly. Yet, he was compelled to clip your wings before you hurt yourself. You forced him to act. Yes, he raped you, but only because you played your hand and lost.”
I had lost. I had lost everything and gained a life I didn’t know how to handle. “And if I had known the truth of men, I would have come up with a different plan. I had no useful concept of sex or the repercussions.”
Her finger came out to boop my nose, the woman obviously unafraid of any reaction I might have. “And that right there is why the men will not support educating the females about sex. We’re too wily when we’re free of a bond. They want to keep us in a little fishbowl and pluck us out when we’re old enough to breed, not instruct us on how to evade them.”
“It’s wrong!” I snarled, an aggressive rumble breaking free of my chest.
The drumming was pure threat and purely unintentional. Catching myself on a choking swallow, I put my hands to my chest as if I might hold back the offensive noise, saying, “Forgive me.”
Several of the women at the table had shifted away, looking at me as if I were a vorec toeing the fog and looking to charge. But not Miranda.
She appeared only impressed. “I forgive you, but turn around and give your mate a wave,” Miranda said, cocking her chin at the male who was no doubt glowering at my back. “You clearly do not realize you are dangerous or that your reactions are currently being cataloged by a man who will never forget a single frown you make. We do not want Cyderial coming down on us or our mates. And he will, if you do that again. Your sweetheart is a very somber fellow. Keep him calm, please.”
Peering over my shoulder, I found not only Cyderial but every last male staring right at me, tense as if ready to spring. All of them unblinking and hyper-focused.
Forcing a smile, I gave him a wave.
Cyderial measured me a good while before nodding. When he looked away, the males followed his lead in perfect sync, conversation starting up again as if nothing untoward had taken place.
“They are strange creatures, aren’t they?” Miranda murmured, watching the same display. “Beautiful, yet far more vorec than human. Sometimes they remind me of a school of fish in their uniformity. But a school of fish cannot wreak the same kind of devastation a single untethered hybrid male can. When they have a mind to work as one, even we can’t stop them.”
And that was the root of our suffering, wasn’t it? “I don’t understand them at all. Their need to control us causes harm.”
Abandoning my observation of the men, I gave them my back and settled into my chair.
Miranda waited, chin on her knuckles and a knowing curl of her lip. “I think you understand him perfectly.”
If he were reduced down to the drive to fuck, feed, and breed a mate, perhaps I did. But he was a complex person and so much more than sheer animal drive. “He gives me the illusion of control when I have none. That, I know.”
It was as if I was finally understanding her point, Miranda lighting up as she nodded. “Except, you have control over one thing and one thing only.”
I took a sip of my drink, calming my breath and waiting for the relaxing effect I had been promised would kick in. “Children?”
Nodding in agreement, the old woman said, “You want to get your way? Let’s see how you can do it. We know General Thayer heard your friend Maeve’s song. He’s already registered the intended mating. That is one who may support you if you sell your friend to him. The mated males will not hear you at all. But what about the other unmated males?” Miranda popped her lips. “If you want their support, you will have to give them a reason to take on the risk. Remember, they don’t want their little princesses vulnerable to the attentions of another.”
Countering, I said, “I’m only asking to teach them about sex, not to let them run around the city. They would still be locked away… for now.”
Valentyna spoke up at my side. “My duty is to catalog hybrid lineages, which gives me access to certain information. There is a subsection of older males who have had terrible luck with the list of available females. Each of them shares a common vorec ancestor that has only produced male hybrids. The female embryos created from that vorec’s genetics were highly unstable, resulting in zero live births. Your genetic code was labeled as coming from a different source, but I have looked over your DNA. Markers of that vorec are there. I believe your mother’s egg must have been impregnated with mislabeled sperm. Your genetics adapted in the womb and, through some miracle, you made it to term. The first healthy female born of that line.”
Quickly, she added, “Do you understand what this means? Powerful unmated males want your daughters. You have the authority to force the men to yield to your demands.”
Miranda popped her lips again. “Yet it’s still only supposition. Birth a daughter now to prove it’s true, and you could force the males to give you what you want… if you offer them a mate in return.”
My womb was full of fertilized eggs held in stasis. Cyderial had taken great care in creating them—that much I remembered. On his office floor, rubbing my aching stomach, directly after he raped me.
Under my palm, every child I might ever birth was already sleeping within. And I promised each of them I would never give them to the academy.
Not to mention I was young, lacking all interest in motherhood.
Yet now I knew why the women had gathered in masse. Female eyes lingered upon me in eager anticipation. Practically pleading.
I had been cornered for a purpose, and it was not to extend a hand of friendship. It was to ask something awful of Cyderial’s young, na?ve, and stupid mate.
Looking as if she were admitting a crime, Valentyna whispered, “The males are aware of this. General Boreal came into my office the day your mating was announced. You are not supposed to exist, yet you do. And now they know why.”
My gut response was easy. “I do not know what the academy was like in your years, but it is hell now. I cannot birth a girl into this world, knowing she would suffer the academy and also be shadowed by men with the drive to take her before she is ready. I don’t trust a single one of them to wait.”
“Cyderial waited for you,” Miranda urged, leaning on her elbows, all pretense of arrogance gone. “You must understand, sacrifice is required if you want to achieve your goals. Every last one of us knows that. Offer them your daughters, grow gravid, and you can assure a softer future for all our girls. Don’t do it, and nothing will change, no matter how sweetly Cyderial may promise his support. The men will not back you.”
Valentyna leaned closer, softly saying, “You could do a great deal of good, and all of us would be in your debt. You are not the only one who longs for change.”
Did they not hear themselves? “You’re asking me to birth a child who will be harmed!”
Her sweet face conveyed she was resisting the urge to stroke me, her hands fumbling in her lap, “We’re asking you to birth a child who will be obsessively loved by males almost as powerful as your mate. We are asking you to improve the world for all of us.”
Miranda cut in, eager to add, “Cyderial’s alterations to academy procedure have prevented many females from being harmed. He did that for your sake but did it in manic secret without the guidance of a female. Your daughters will not be a secret. You will have a say in their care. Cyderial will also protect his young as diligently as he protects you. Will you not be assigned to the academy, where you can watch over your child as she grows? Women at this table would kill for that opportunity.”
Dark-skinned with a deep voice, the female beside Miranda said, “We know you are young and ill-prepared, but when opportunity for change arrives, it must be taken. Please birth a daughter, so the daughters I wish to carry might have a better future.”
Miranda, brimming with a slow-simmering expectation, said, “Even if the humans were removed from the equation, even if the academy were no longer necessary, the handling of our daughters remains the same. Think on that after you run back to your mate. It’s only a matter of days before your friends graduate and it becomes their turn to be pinned down, knotted, and locked away. A precious child could be happily settled in your womb by then.”