His Surprise Return

Chapter 9

9

A s Erin woke, something didn’t feel right. The bed was too hard, the covers too thin, there was the soft sound of snoring coming from the other side of the room. Erin turned to her side and slowly cracked her eyes open. There was a stuffed train in front of her. She reached out to grab it. All of a sudden, everything came back to her.

Parker.

Logan.

Heart racing, she sat up straight in bed—Parker’s bed. Erin didn’t remember falling asleep in it, but that was a testament to just how tired she was. She looked at the clock on his nightstand. She blinked several times. That couldn’t be right. If it was, that meant that she’d been in here for three hours. Logan had told her two .

She pushed herself up off the mattress and found her balance on her sleepy legs. Her eyes went to where Samantha slept peacefully. Since she was already here, Erin closed the distance between her and Samantha’s bed to see if she was also sick. Erin reached out to touch her forehead. It felt normal, not hot at all.

Thank goodness.

With a sigh of relief, she walked out and quietly closed the bedroom door behind her. She needed to talk to Logan. Ask him why he let her sleep so long.

When she entered her bedroom, she realized why he hadn’t come for her. Logan was slouched over in the chair, eyes closed, his breathing heavy and even. The poor man had fallen asleep keeping vigil over Parker. The thought of him refusing to leave Parker’s side made her heart skip a beat.

Erin crept across the floor, closer to Logan. When she pressed her fingers to his shoulder, he shot up. “I was just resting my eyes.” The words came out in a mumbled mess of syllables Erin only barely understood.

Erin covered her mouth with her hand to hide the smile. It was adorable how he tried to hide the fact that he’d fallen asleep. Beneath the amusement, her heart warmed. Logan had stayed with Parker, even though he had no obligation to him. In doing so, Erin was able to get some much-needed rest. Even though she was still exhausted, she felt more capable of keeping an eye on Parker for the rest of the night .

Logan rubbed his eyes. “I think I fell asleep.”

Erin sat on the bed, careful not to bump into Parker, and faced Logan. “It’s okay. I’m sure it was hard to stay awake.”

Logan’s grin was sheepish. “Yeah, well, I told you I would keep watch. I’m sorry I let you down.”

He hadn’t let her down. Not yet, at least. He’d been making small efforts here and there. Erin wanted to know what it meant that he was helping her the way he was. Why was he investing so much into her children? Logan was leaving soon.

She shifted her focus to Parker. “How has he been doing?”

Logan pointed at the cup Erin left on the nightstand. “He woke up a bit ago and was thirsty. He drank two glasses of water.”

“Did he complain about anything hurting?”

Logan groaned as he stretched his hands out in front of him. “Nope. Just asked if I would stay.” He looked like he wanted to add something else, but he eventually clamped his lips shut and focused his attention back on Parker. “I’m not sure how I can help, but if there’s anything you want me to do, I will.”

Erin bit her lip. She wasn’t sure what to ask for at this point. Logan had already let her sleep. She gently ran her hand over the side of Parker’s face and cupped his cheek in her palm. His skin didn’t feel as warm as it had earlier. She looked up at Logan. “You didn’t give him more medicine, did you? ”

Logan shot up in his seat. “No, no. I wouldn’t even know how much to give him or when. I’m leaving that to you.”

“Hmm.” It had still only been a few hours since she’d given him medicine. She guessed it was still doing its job at keeping Parker comfortable. She was happy he seemed to be sleeping fine now. Erin’s stomach growled, and she had the sudden desire to sneak downstairs and grab a snack. Since Parker seemed to be doing okay, she decided it would be okay to leave him for a short while. She looked up at Logan. “Wanna go down to the kitchen and grab a midnight snack with me?”

He looked at the clock. “Does it count if it’s past midnight?”

It was well into the early hours of the morning, but since it would still be a few hours until everyone woke up for the day. It absolutely counted. “Do you want to grab something with me or not?”

She kept her face neutral, like she didn’t care if Logan said yes or no, but inside, she was a ball of nerves while she waited for his answer. Why did she care so much? It was just a snack with an old friend. When he didn’t answer right away, she gave him the smallest smile, hoping to encourage him to say yes.

“Sure.”

Close enough.

Erin pressed her lips together hard to keep the satisfied smile from curving across her lips, and turned her back to Logan as she led the way down to the kitchen. She could hear his steady steps behind her.

Once they were downstairs and in the kitchen, Erin pulled out some cookies she’d made earlier in the week. She lifted the plastic container she’d been storing them in. “This okay?”

Logan nodded. He was reaching for glasses from the cabinet before Erin could ask if he wanted milk. That had always been their ritual in the past. Even though the last bits of youth had left Logan long ago, Erin was happy that some things never changed. She grabbed the carton of milk from the fridge and wordlessly poured the cold liquid into the glasses Logan had set on the counter.

Logan leaned against the countertop, and she walked up beside him. How many times had the two of them hung out in this kitchen sharing snacks and stories from their days? In a strange way, it felt like old times as she dipped her cookies into her glass. She let it sit in the milk for several moments, allowing the crunchy treat to soak up as much liquid as possible without breaking and settling into the bottom of her glass.

“Better than I remembered,” Logan said from beside her, chewing on a bite.

Erin wondered how long it had been since Logan enjoyed the simplicity of cookies and milk. It hadn’t been very long for Erin. She’d shared this treat with her children all the time, but the way Logan savored his bite with his eyes closed, Erin imagined it had been a while.

She was happy he was here, happy to have her friend back after so much time. Erin realized with a pang of sadness that there were so many things the two of them had missed out on. She mourned the time that had passed that they could never get back. She needed to know why he’d left. It was finally time to have this conversation.

Erin took a steadying breath. “Why did you leave?” She hoped that the fact that they’d started becoming more comfortable with one another would mean he would answer this time.

Logan’s hand stilled, the cookie hovering above his glass. “I ... ”

“Please.” Her voice was quiet. “I just need to know why you disappeared.”

Logan took a deep breath as he set the half-eaten cookie and glass on the counter. He wiped his hands over the front of his jeans. “It’s been a long couple of days. Parker is sick. Are you sure you want to do this now?”

Erin didn’t understand. Had something awful happened that she’d been completely in the dark about? Had she been the terrible friend all this time? She shifted so that she was facing him. She put her hand on his arm. “Logan, what happened?”

He pushed off the counter and stepped back, so that her hand fell. His forehead creased in worry. Erin wanted to grab him with both of her hands and shake him until he just spit it out, but Logan would speak the words when he was ready. She held her breath as she waited.

“I left,” his eyes bored into hers, “because I was in love with you.”

Erin felt like she’d been punched in the gut. All the breath left her lungs, and she gripped the counter as she tried to force herself to breathe. He left because he was in love with her? There was no way she’d heard him correctly. “What?”

Logan’s face was scrunched up and he put his hands out in front of him. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair of me. I shouldn’t have told you.” He looked at her for a beat longer before he turned to walk away.

She reached out to grab his arm before he could leave, barely gripping his bicep before he was out of reach. “Don’t go.” Erin was surprised by how firm her voice sounded to her ears, considering she could barely speak.

Logan stopped, but he didn’t turn to face her. They stood in silence like this for what felt like an eternity. The ticking of the second hand on the wall clock was the only sound in the room. Erin wanted Logan to explain, but as time continued to march on and he didn’t say anything, she realized she would have to prompt him if she wanted to know more.

“I don’t understand,” she said, pulling her hand from where she held him. “We’re friends. You always treated me like a friend.”

“I know.” Logan’s shoulders sagged. “I wish I could say when things shifted from strictly platonic into something more romantic. Maybe those feelings had been there all along and I just didn’t realize it.” His head bowed toward the floor. “All I know is when Jake showed me the engagement ring, something in me snapped. Things were changing, and I was going to get left behind. Or mess everything up. There was only one option. I had to leave.”

She took a tentative step toward him. “You left ... because you loved me?”

He heard Logan’s loud swallow. “Yeah.”

Erin’s hand went to her mouth as she attempted to process the weight of what Logan had just admitted. If this was true, if Logan truly loved her and it wasn’t just some childhood crush, she could understand he wouldn’t feel like he had another choice. It would be impossible to stand by and watch as she and Jake got married and started a family. It would have put a wedge in their relationships and could have possibly ruined things beyond repair.

It had been painful when Logan left. Without an explanation, she’d been confused and hurt. But she now understood that he didn’t feel like he had a choice.

“I didn’t know.” The words felt so insignificant compared to what he’d just admitted, but he had to know that she didn’t have a clue.

Would things have been different if she had? Erin shook her head. No, she could not, would not , go down that path. She had loved Jake and had been happy with him before he’d died. She twisted the wedding band that she still wore on her left hand. Logan’s admission didn’t change her relationship with Jake. She’d been his wife for ten years.

Logan turned, his eyes finding hers. He left out a self-deprecating laugh. “Yeah, like I said, I didn’t know either. By the time I realized it, it was too late. I want you to know I am so sorry that I left like that. I wish I would have done things differently.”

“Logan.”

Grief filled his features as he looked at her. “Will you forgive me?”

Erin’s heart shattered. Just a few weeks ago, if someone would have asked her if she could ever forgive Logan for what he’d done, she wouldn’t have had an answer. Now, after spending these last couple of weeks with him and hearing his confession, there was no question. Her friend was standing before her, broken and raw and hurting. “I forgive you.”

His shoulders relaxed. Erin could see the shimmer of unshed tears in his eyes as he nodded. “Thank you.”

“I hate that you’ve been carrying this around.”

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. ”

Having feelings for your best friend’s wife had to be hard enough on its own. To carry that guilt as you moved to a new city and started a new life? Erin couldn’t even begin to imagine how difficult it had been for Logan.

“I came back for Jake’s funeral.” He rubbed his hand over his face and closed his eyes. “It was a beautiful service.”

Tears streamed down Erin’s cheeks. It was another heartbreaking detail she wished she’d known sooner. She’d held a grudge against Logan for too long, most of it unwarranted. The emotions of the evening built up inside her until they began to bubble over and become too overwhelming.

Erin did the only thing she could think of. She closed the distance between them and pulled Logan into a hug. He stiffened in her embrace, but after a moment, his arms tightened around her back, and he pulled her close against him. She breathed the familiar woodsy scent of him as she rested her head against his chest and listened to the steady rhythm of his heart. This was different from the time she’d hugged him after the destruction of the wedding cake. There was something more to it, though she was afraid to name what that thing was.

At any rate, this was a wordless way to tell him that she still cared. She hoped he knew his confessions hadn’t sent her running, even if they had caught her off guard .

If Logan wasn’t so set on leaving, Erin could almost imagine life with him back in Frostford. In what capacity, she wasn’t sure. He’d admitted to loving her. Did that mean he still had those feelings for her? Did she have those feelings for him?

She loved Logan, always had, but as a friend. The love he’d admitted to was a completely different ballgame. It was new and scary—and completely unexpected. It would take time for her to sort through what all of this meant and to be able to formulate a thoughtful response.

The sound of coughing broke through the silence of the house. She and Logan broke apart like they were burned by each other’s touch. Erin ran shaky hands down the front of her robe. “I should?—”

“Yeah, I need to ... ” Logan rubbed the back of his neck as his words trailed off.

Their eyes found each other, and she quickly looked away. A nervous laugh escaped her lips. It was hard to know if the embarrassment she felt came from the fact that she was contemplating Logan’s romantic feelings toward her, or that it was at the expense of taking care of her son—her sick son who needed her attention.

“I really should go check on Parker.” She hitched her thumb toward the stairs.

“I know.”

She didn’t move. Instead, she continued to look at Logan as she played with the tie of her robe, twisting the worn fabric in her fingers.

“Go,” Logan said. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Not yet, at least , Erin thought, as she turned to go upstairs toward her bedroom, but he would be leaving. Soon. With that looming deadline also came Erin’s impending eviction.

She reminded herself that Logan was here to sell Aunt Betty’s house. When that happened, she would need a new place to live. Erin needed to start looking at apartments because it didn’t look like she’d have enough to buy this house—not after the wedding cake fiasco. She needed to stop getting distracted by how nice it would be to have Logan around all the time. She needed to put some distance between her and Logan so she didn’t get her heart broken when he left again.

Neither of these things were what she wanted to do, but she didn’t get to choose the difficult circumstances that came into her life. She could only control how she handled them. And Erin resolved to steel herself for the inevitability of losing two things she really wanted but couldn’t have—even if that meant having to get rid of them herself.

Logan poured the milk from their glasses down the sink and rested his hands against the counter. He’d done it. He told Erin how he felt about her. It was one of the hardest things he’d ever done, but Erin had forgiven him. It wasn’t easy, it was messy, and Logan felt like he was more exposed than he’d ever been.

He didn’t regret it, but he also wasn’t sure what he was trying to accomplish.

He turned the water on and started washing the glasses. He made quick work of the small load, and once the dishes were resting in the dish drainer, he looked up at the clock. It was that terrible hour of the morning—too late to go back to sleep, too early to be awake.

There was a faint glow on the horizon as the sun prepared for its ascent. The stars were fading against the dark night sky as the day prepared to break.

Logan stretched his hands over his head. He twisted his back to ease the stiffness, and his eyes caught on the guesthouse through the kitchen window. He hadn’t really given the small building much thought, other than sleeping there. It really wasn’t a bad space. It had a bedroom, and bathroom, and a small kitchenette. Compared to some apartments in the city, it was positively spacious. It would be more than enough for a single man such as himself.

He stilled at the thought. He could not think about moving into the guesthouse. He had a plan, and that plan was to fix up Aunt Betty’s house, sell it, and then bring her with him. It was a good plan.

Of course, nothing had gone according to plan. Instead, Logan had gotten close to Parker and Samantha and had confessed his feelings to Erin .

Logan wiped the cookie crumbs from the counter as he pondered over what to do. He knew that he still loved Erin—loved her so much it hurt—but was that enough for him to break his commitment to his other job? The commitment he’d made to Aunt Betty? He didn’t know. He wasn’t sure Erin felt the same way or if something could ever work between them. Jake and Logan had been friends. Erin was still grieving her late husband’s death, and Logan was thinking about wanting to date her?

No, he would need to stick to the plan before making more of a mess of an already complicated situation.

“You’re up early,” Aunt Betty said, coming up behind him. Logan had forgotten that she was always up before the sun. Her hand settled on his shoulder.

“I was up with Erin,” he said.

Aunt Betty’s brows shot up.

“Helping her take care of Parker,” he said quickly.

Aunt Betty’s lips curved into a knowing smile. “I see.”

Logan shook his head. “No, not like that. He was sick. He asked for me and ... ” His words trailed off as he realized how his ramblings must sound.

Aunt Betty pointed to the dining room table. “Wanna sit with me for a minute?”

Logan nodded and followed her to the table. He took a seat across from her and took a deep breath. This was his opportunity to talk to Aunt Betty about his plans. He needed her to help him think clearly again.

Her eyes narrowed as she looked at him. “What’s going on? You look more distraught than usual.”

Logan snorted. “There’s just a lot on my mind.”

“Your new job?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“And the house?”

He nodded again. “Uh huh.”

There was a brief pause before Aunt Betty added, “And Erin?”

Logan slumped in his seat and rubbed a hand over his face. “Yep.”

Logan pressed his lips together and closed his eyes. He wasn’t sure how to explain to Aunt Betty that he was questioning his entire plan—a plan she had a huge hand in forming.

He’d be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t considering staying in Frostford. But if he did that, he’d be messing everything up—and not just for himself. He had to consider what such a huge change in plans would mean for Aunt Betty and his new employer.

If he decided to stay in Frostford, it would break Aunt Betty’s heart. She’d been the one to ask him to come and help sell the house. She’d been excited about the idea of moving to Florida with Logan and living out her golden years near the beach—something she deserved after years of serving others. If he backed out, he worried that Aunt Betty would think that he didn’t want to take care of her, which wasn’t true at all.

Logan worried about Aunt Betty, but he also worried about his employer. His start date was just around the corner. If he didn’t show up, he would be letting his boss down. They’d put time and money into Logan getting him ready for this new position. He’d not only waste their time, but they would be in a time crunch to find a replacement. That wasn’t fair to them.

Not to mention, Logan wasn’t entirely sure that Erin wanted him here. They’d grown closer to one another over the last few weeks, and she’d forgiven him, but Logan wasn’t sure if it was right for him to want to have a romantic relationship with his best friend’s widow—or if she was interested. She hadn’t said she loved him after his confession, not that he’d expected her to, but it would be a really bad idea to break all of these other commitments for someone who didn’t want him here.

“You going to tell me what’s going on in that head of yours? Or are you going to make me guess?”

Logan shook his head and looked up at Aunt Betty, who was watching him expectantly.

She leaned over and pressed her wrinkled hand to his forehead. “You always get this crease in the middle of your brows when you’re concentrating hard on something. So, why don’t you spit it out already?”

Where did he start? Did he begin by telling Aunt Betty that he was thinking about backing out of his commitment to her or his boss? No matter how he approached it, he felt like there wasn’t a solution that was good for everyone. He let out a slow breath and simply said, “Erin.”

Aunt Betty didn’t look surprised. She only nodded in acknowledgment. “Things seem to be going well between you two. It feels like there’s a lot less tension than there was that first day.”

He snorted. “Well, that kind of thing happens when you’re forced to attend dinner together every night.”

“Or when you’re teaching Samantha how to ride a bike, or helping bake a cake, or taking care of Parker when he’s sick ... ”

Logan didn’t like the twinkle in Aunt Betty’s eyes, like she was privy to something he wasn’t. “What was I supposed to do, walk away and do nothing?”

“Of course not.” She smiled at him. “You’re not that kind of man, Logan.”

She said it with such conviction. If only she knew the thoughts swirling around in his mind right now. She wouldn’t think him a man of honor. But that was Aunt Betty, always seeing the best in people. “What kind of man am I?”

“You’re a man in love.”

Logan opened his mouth to argue, but there was no point. It was true. He still loved Erin. Loving her was the reason he was questioning everything else. He tapped his fingers gently against the wooden table. “I was a man in love when I left ten years ago, hurting everyone in the process. I don’t think that’s a compliment.”

Aunt Betty didn’t respond right away, confirming what he already knew to be true. He made the wrong decisions when he let his emotions lead him. Silence stretched between the two of them as Logan continued to turn over the different difficult decisions he needed to make. He was pretty sure he knew what he was supposed to do—sell the house, move to Florida—but the idea of following through made him sick to his stomach. He didn’t want to leave Erin. He didn’t want to leave the kids.

“I know it wasn’t easy when Jake proposed,” Aunt Betty said, breaking the silence. “It wasn’t easy for me either.”

They’d never talked about why he left. Logan wanted to pretend it never happened and Aunt Betty had always known somehow not to bring it up—not until this trip back to Frostford. Logan looked up at her hoping she would elaborate.

“I knew you loved Erin from day one. It takes a mighty love to make someone want to leave their rebellious years behind them.” She gave him a knowing smile. “As much as I’d like to think it was me, I know better.”

“I—”

“Logan.” She stopped his protests with a tone that was both stern and loving at once. “I love you like you were my own son. I never thought I’d get the opportunity to have children after Frank died. But then the sheriff brought me this scared, young little boy, and I knew that God had given you to me for a reason. I vowed I would love you fiercely until the day I died.”

“You have.” She really had, even when he probably deserved to be kicked out and told to never return. Even now while he was struggling with what to do, her love for him was obvious.

Aunt Betty smiled warmly at him, the wrinkles at the corners of her eyes deepening. “But I can also recognize that no matter how much I loved you and prayed for you, I wasn’t going to be the one to convince you to change your wild ways. So I tried to be patient while the Lord took his sweet time to answer my prayers.” She chuckled to herself.

Logan felt the corners of his mouth lift into a fond grin. He was so thankful that she’d never given up on him.

She folded her hands on the table in front of her. “It was why I was so happy when you and Erin started spending time together. It was quite an unlikely friendship, but I saw the way you started to change. Not overnight, but little things here and there. I started getting less midnight calls from the sheriff. It was wonderful when I got to sleep through the night again.”

Logan leaned forward and touched Aunt Betty’s hands. “I’m sorry I put you through that.” He was sorry for a lot of things.

Aunt Betty pulled her hands away and waved one in front of her. “Oh, I know you are. And that’s not why I brought that up. I say all this because I had always hoped your friendship with Erin would turn into more.”

“You did?”

Aunt Betty nodded. “It was obvious that you both loved each other, and you just didn’t realize it.” She closed her eyes. “I was so happy you and Erin chose to go to the same college. I was sure that was it. But then you met Jake and the three of you became inseparable. I could see what was happening before it played out, but promised myself that I wouldn’t become that meddling old lady who got involved in everyone else’s business.”

Logan choked on a laugh. Aunt Betty had always loved getting involved in everyone’s business, and she was fooling herself if she thought she didn’t. Though it was strange how she convinced herself not to do it when it came to Logan and Erin. How different things would have looked if Aunt Betty would have got involved. Would Logan have proposed? Would they be married now? He shook his head to clear his thoughts. He couldn’t go down that road. What was done was done.

“Now, don’t get me wrong. Jake was a good man. He loved Erin. He was a great father before he died. They were happy.”

Logan’s throat constricted. These were the things that he’d refused to think about for years. Hearing Aunt Betty talk so plainly about it felt like she was ripping his heart out from his chest.

“But I think she could be happy again ... with you.”

Logan narrowed his eyes. “Why are you telling me this?”

If she understood the turmoil Logan was going through, surely she would also know that talking like this would only make it more difficult to follow through with his plans. He didn’t dare dream that she might be right, that Erin might be happy with him.

Aunt Betty got up from her spot and walked over to Logan. She bent over just enough so she was looking directly into his eyes when she said, “I can see you are at a crossroads, and I think it’s important for you to have all the data before making a decision that will affect the next decade of your life.”

Logan didn’t dare speak now. Whatever he decided would affect the next ten years of his life. At least this time, he understood that his actions would affect others for just as long, if not longer.

“I love you, sweet boy, and I have no doubt that you’ll make the right choice.”

With that, Aunt Betty walked away and left Logan to his thoughts once more .

He needed to decide what to do—and fast. There were time limits to some of these things. The real estate agent was coming over to look at the house this week. He had a few places he was looking at in Florida. He couldn’t dwell on his different choices indefinitely. And yet, he also knew this was not a time for rash decisions either.

This was a time for him to go to the Lord in prayer because he was going to need divine guidance before doing something that would have long-lasting effects on the people he loved most in this world. And he needed to do the right thing this time.