36. Chapter Thirty-six
Chapter Thirty-six
Phoebe
Hannah’s small engagement dinner had turned into a medium-sized party. Fortunately, Hannah was no wallflower, so she didn’t mind having a bigger crowd to show off her ring to, and Remi…well, he liked whatever made Hannah happy.
Thirty or forty people milled around my grandparents’ kitchen and expansive back patio, chatting and drinking champagne. It was easy for my mother to use the resort’s resources to arrange for the flower sprays around the home, catering, and event staff. There wasn’t much for me to do, but I found ways to keep myself busy anyway. I’d baked sweets and made continuous rounds, ensuring trays were filled.
I had to stay busy, or I’d get sad, and I refused to be sad while celebrating my sister’s happiness. Maybe tomorrow, I’d indulge a little—definitely not tonight.
Not even when my parents masked their disappointment when I’d shown up alone.
Really not when I’d put on a cheery smile and explained again and again Deacon had something he couldn’t possibly get out of but had sent his congratulations.
Margot cornered me in the kitchen as I piled fresh cookies on a tray that had been picked over. I hadn’t seen her since the night we’d run into each other at Joy’s, but from her smeared lipstick and the smirk her cowboy had given her before he’d walked away, things were still going well between them.
“Hey, Phe. Mind if I steal a cookie?” She perched on one of the stools on the other side of the massive marble island from me.
I pushed the tray toward her. “Go right ahead. I thought I’d overbaked for tonight, but the rate these things are going, maybe it’s the opposite.”
She bit into a warm cookie and moaned. “My goodness, darling. Somehow, your food keeps getting better. I don’t think you’re going to have to worry about leftovers.”
I smiled, trying to feel it. “Let’s hope. If there are, I’ll send them home with Hannah and Remi.” I winked. “Do you think I can call it my engagement present, or is that too gauche?”
She snorted a laugh and stole another cookie. “You’ve made all the desserts for their party. I’m quite sure that’s going above and beyond the call of duty.” She angled herself closer and dropped her voice. “Now, where is that handsome man of yours? I was looking forward to seeing you two together again.”
My stomach dropped like an anvil. It had done that each and every time I’d been asked that question tonight. I had always been comfortable being on my own, and I would have been fine now if I was able to share a true, valid reason Deacon wasn’t with me, but I didn’t have one. Oh, he’d given me excuses, and I’d tried my hardest to believe him, but I’d never been great at lying to myself. If he’d wanted to be here, he would have found a way.
His absence spoke a thousand words without him even opening his mouth.
I was all in with this man, and it seemed he was keeping one foot out the door. When we were together, it felt like we were building a future. I’d thought he was on the same page, but now, I wasn’t sure.
Not sure at all.
Margot raised an eyebrow, and I realized I hadn’t answered her. “Oh…well, he’s—”
She perked up, focusing on something over my shoulder. “There he is, and even more handsome than I remembered.”
I whirled around, and my lungs seized at the sight of Deacon prowling toward me with Hailey nipping at his heels. He didn’t stop until he reached me, slid his arm around me, and gently pulled me against him. Dropping his chin, he murmured, “I’m sorry I’m late, sugar,” then firmly pressed his lips to mine, not letting go until my heart thundered in my ears and my fingers curled into his button-down.
Only then did he pull back, his eyes darting between mine. “I’m sorry, Phoebe,” he whispered.
I nodded, forgiving him in an instant. “You’re here. That’s what matters,” I whispered in return.
Then it registered he was wearing a button-down. I pulled back to look at him. Starched dress shirt, dark blue jeans, and cowboy boots—I hadn’t known he’d owned clothes like these, let alone had seen him wearing them. “Wow, you’re handsome.”
His mouth quirked. “Trying to keep up with my gorgeous girl.” He took a long, slow perusal of me. My dress was flowy until it hit my waist, where it nipped in nicely, and the square neckline dipped low enough to show the rounded tops of my breasts. Finally, his eyes claimed mine again, vivid with appreciation. “Love you in pink, Phoebe.”
“And I just love you.” In my relief and excitement at his presence, seeing him all dressed up for the occasion, the words just tumbled out. I meant them, but I hadn’t intended to say them at this moment.
Deacon blinked at me. “Phoebe, I—”
“Phoebe!” Hailey cried, launching herself at me. She wrapped her arms around me from the side, her head hitting my shoulder. “This place is crazy. Did you really grow up here?”
Laughing, I let go of Deacon’s shirt to hug his sister. “This is my grandparents’ house. Mine is down the road. You’ll have to come back during the sunlight hours, and I’ll take you on a tour. I’m still trying to get Deacon on a horse. Maybe we can make a day of it.”
Margot chittered and pressed her hands together beneath her chin. “Oh my, you must get that man of yours on horseback. There aren’t too many things sexier than a cowboy.”
Hailey wrinkled her nose. “Wow, I don’t want to think about my brother being sexy.”
That made Margot laugh. “You’re a doll.” Then she held her hand out to Hailey. “Want to come with me? I’ll show you where the good food is, and we can let these two have a moment.”
Deacon’s gaze bored into the side of my face as I watched them go. When we were alone, he jerked me against him, putting his mouth to my ear.
“Is there somewhere we can be alone?”
My heart skipped a few beats. “There is.” I took his hand. “I’ll show you.”
His hand was tight around mine as he followed me through the house. Most people were outside, so we were able to avoid being seen.
I led him into the attached garage and flicked on the lights. My grandad was serious about his vehicles and workshop. His garage was more of a showroom and body shop with six parking spots, a lift, and every tool anyone could possibly need stored neatly in gleaming red cabinets.
There was also no reason anyone would come out here during the party.
My breath caught at the sound of the door closing and the lock clicking into place. I spun around to face Deacon, his hand still gripping mine. His brow furrowed over an intense gaze so heavy it felt like a weight pressing into me.
“Hi,” I whispered.
He tugged me closer, his free hand carving into the back of my hair. “Say it again.”
I knew what he wanted, but my mouth was suddenly dry, and those three words weren’t as slippery as they’d been a few minutes ago.
Lowering his forehead to mine, he pleaded, “Please, sugar. Tell me.”
My lashes fluttered until they stayed up, and my eyes focused on his. “I love you.”
His exhale was a blast of such sweet relief it was staggering. “I almost didn’t show tonight.”
“I know.”
“And you still love me.”
“You’re here.”
“I’m screwed up.”
I didn’t believe that. But he did, and that was what mattered. His wounds wouldn’t heal overnight, but I’d keep loving him until he saw himself the way I did—a beautiful man who had overcome circumstances that might’ve broken someone with less grit.
“As long as you show up, we’ll figure it out,” I promised. I’d hold on until he had no choice but to believe he wasn’t the sum of his past.
“Phoebe,” he croaked, “how are you mine?”
“It’s just the way it is, Deacon.” I touched my lips to his. “Okay?”
“Yeah, okay.” His fingers in my hair balled into a fist. “You have to know I love you too, angel.”
Then his mouth was on mine, and there was nothing soft about it. He kissed me like he’d been away for years, yearning for me. Deep, hard, searching, he found every corner of my mouth and laved it with his tongue. He loved me, and he was showing me just how much he meant it.
His hands were all over me, moving with more freedom than he’d ever allowed himself to have. He didn’t stop to ask permission before he shoved my bodice under my breasts and pulled my nipple into his mouth. Nor did he ask if he could explore beneath my skirt. He helped himself to all my softest parts as he kissed me into oblivion.
Something had shifted between us. A wall had been knocked down, and we were touching each other in a way we never had. I’d never been shy with him, but I had been careful. Now, all I wanted was to show him how much I loved him in every way I could.
I yanked his shirt free from his pants to get my hands on his smooth abdomen and the long, taut planes of his back. Then I dipped inside his waistband, cupping his ass and pulling him as close as we could be in this position. It wasn’t enough, so I tugged at his hair, bringing his mouth back to mine.
Our kisses were messy and urgent. Our touches were bordering on desperate. He hiked my skirt up to my waist, and his fingers were inside my panties, sliding through my folds and over my clit. I shuddered as he caressed me there and latched onto my throat with his warm lips.
“Deacon,” I cried softly. “I love you.”
He sucked harder, groaning against my skin, rocking his thick erection into my stomach.
“I didn’t intend for this,” he murmured into my throat. “This isn’t why I wanted to be alone with you.”
“I don’t care about intentions. I need you.”
“Now?” he asked thickly.
I nodded vigorously, my nails digging into his chest. “Right now.”
He walked me back until I collided with the wall and my breath whooshed out of me. Then he hooked his hand under my knee, lifting until he could prop my foot on a stool. He cupped between my spread thighs, dipping two fingers inside me. I was so soaked and needy. When the heel of his hand rubbed against my clit, I jerked and moaned.
“Yes, yes!” My head fell back, and I rode his hand as he thrust and ground exactly where I needed him. “Keep going, just like that.”
From beneath heavy lids, I watched him pleasure me. His gaze roamed over my body, pausing for long beats on his fingers disappearing inside me. The way he looked at me turned me on to the point where it was impossible to hold back a second longer. His eyes came to meet mine at the last second, so heated they were the spark I needed to explode. Writhing and wild, I grasped at his shoulders so I wouldn’t fall—not that he’d ever let that happen.
My orgasm had barely crested when Deacon slipped his fingers from my body, stepped between my legs, and drove into me—hard and deep. Raw nerves were set alight as he fucked me into the wall, and I continued coming around him, rasping my pleasure uncontrollably.
He covered my mouth with his, muffling the wild noises I was making, and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. Our bodies were aligned, chest to chest, belly to belly, toe to toe. He kissed me like a tidal wave and fucked me like a tornado, leveling me to the ground. Consuming all in his path and leaving his mark forevermore. Even as it was happening, I felt changed and made over. I knew I’d never had anything like this before. This connection, this deep bond…it was something Deacon and I had formed, and it belonged solely to us. Special, hot, loving, and unbreakable, so long as we tended it.
“I love you,” I uttered, shaky and thick, as he bounced me on his cock.
“Love you more,” he gritted out, his gaze burning into mine. “I’m all yours.”
“Oh, thank god.” I took his face in my hands, memorizing exactly what my man looked like when he gave himself to me.
He indulged me for a few seconds before shaking free so he could claim my mouth again. That was where he stayed as his thrusts increased, faster, harder, our skin slapping each time we collided. My inner walls were swollen, gripping his sliding length to pull him deeper. There was no getting enough of him. I had him, and still, I wanted more.
He hooked his arm beneath my bent knee, lifting my foot from the stool to open me wider, then planted himself solidly inside me, stealing my breath. Shoving, grinding, he hit my clit so perfectly, I was struck with another teeth-rattling orgasm. Quivering in his arms, I held on tight, trusting him to keep me from falling apart.
His groan echoed in my brain, heart, lungs, and chest. It was so visceral and unleashed. He thrust through my climax, making his way beyond my flexing muscles to my farthest depths. With his mouth on mine, his hand on my ass, the other on my thigh, he went still except for the hot pulsing inside me, filling me to the very brim.
When it was over and our bodies began to relax, he placed my foot back on the stool and pulled back enough to look me over. His brow was pinched with worry, and his pink, puffy lips rolled into a flat line.
“Are you okay?”
Okay was such a silly word to describe what I was. So silly my mouth curved into a goofy smile, and I giggled softly.
“Oh yeah, I’m okay,” I replied. “Don’t I look it?”
He cocked his head, his concern giving way to something more amused. His fingers skimmed my throat, trailing down to my collarbone then tracing lightly over my chest.
“You’re all red from my scruff and mouth.”
I pressed my thumb to his bottom lip, feeling the heat still lingering there. "And you're red from how hard I kissed you."
He nipped at my thumb. “How am I gonna take you back out there with all your family?”
My grin widened. “We should probably clean up before we do that.”
He cradled my face with both hands, his gaze locked on mine. After a moment, he released a long exhale. “You mean it, don’t you? You love me.”
"I do, honey." I curled my fingers around his wrists, the rapid flutter of his pulse beneath my touch. "I mean it, and I couldn’t be happier that you came here for me."
He chuffed. “Just had to get my head out of my ass. Hailey did a lot of the dragging.”
“We can talk about what was keeping you away later. For now, I’d like to go celebrate my sister, and I want you with me.”
“I’m all in,” he vowed.
Finally.