Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
S ix days later, Lacie was sitting on the wicker chair on the patio outside her bedroom at South Haven, one hand supporting her baby while she breastfed, and the other hand trying to type on her phone. She was surprised how full-on her time in hospital had been: nurses doing regular obs, lots of different health professionals visiting at random times, and every free moment spent trying to catch up on sleep. She was finally writing her birth announcement on Facebook, complete with her favourite newborn photo out of the hundred or so she’d already taken. With a smile, she pressed post, then opened a text message and sent a brief message to Xavier, informing him of their daughter’s birth. She knew he didn’t want to play a role in her life but he’d offered to help financially, and she wanted him to at least see her photo if not meet her in person.
She lifted the baby up to her shoulder for a burp, and heard footsteps approaching. She glanced to the right to see Nathan walking along the curved pathway he’d created from the gate entrance to the firepit area. He slowed and gave a wave, and she gestured that it was okay for him to come over.
‘Gotta get used to doing things one-handed,’ she said, putting her phone on the table. She’d sent him a photo after the birth and thanked him for driving her to hospital, and he’d said he’d let her get some rest and meet the baby sometime when she was back home.
Lacie tilted her shoulder forward so Nathan could see her baby’s little face. ‘This is Elliana Rose Appleby,’ she said softly.
‘Oh hey there, little one.’ Nathan gently touched her cheek with the back of his curved finger. ‘She’s beautiful.’ He smiled. ‘Beautiful name too.’
‘Ellie was pleased I half named her after her,’ she said.
‘I bet. And how are you feeling?’
‘I’m good. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but what a reward huh?’ She patted Elliana’s back and a burp came out. ‘Oh, taking after uncle Chris there, bub.’ She chuckled.
‘How tiny are those fingers. And fingernails! So cute.’ Nathan smiled in awe.
‘Do you want a hold? Here.’ She held her daughter out to him and his eyebrows rose as if to say ‘you sure?’.
He positioned his arms and gently took hold.
‘Just have to support the head,’ she instructed, allowing his hand to replace hers. Her protective instinct was on high alert.
‘Oh wow,’ he said. ‘She’s so light.’
‘Felt a lot heavier in my belly!’ Lacie laughed. ‘Have you… held a baby before?’
Nathan looked up from the baby and into Lacie’s eyes. He shook his head, and smiled. ‘Thank you for this milestone moment in my life.’
‘My pleasure,’ she replied. She let him sway her gently for a while, then as she grizzled he handed her back, and she lovingly took hold. ‘I’ll just put her in the bassinet, one moment.’ She opened the screen door to her room and after swaddling her in a muslin wrap, placed Elliana on her back in the co-sleeper that sat next to her bed.
She watched her for a moment, never able to get enough of looking at her, then returned to the patio where she could still see and hear her daughter.
‘I guess you should take this chance to have a nap?’ he asked.
‘I’ll actually get some breakfast first, I’ve only had the banana I kept by my bed last night. Mum is making scrambled eggs. I’m so lucky she’s here to help.’
‘I won’t hold you up. I just wanted to ask, when would it be suitable to mow the lawn? I won’t do it now while Elliana’s sleeping. I’ve got some other things I can do in the meantime.’
‘She probably wouldn’t wake anyway, but just in case, how about I text you when she’s up again?’
‘Sounds good, I’ll keep my phone on me.’ He scratched his head, and a moment of silence hung in the air.
Lacie didn’t know whether to end the conversation there or continue talking, but thankfully he spoke.
‘I’ve been thinking about all you said, before you went into labour.’ He took a seat on one of the chairs and gestured for her to do the same. ‘I know I was still upset, and we didn’t get to continue or resolve anything, but…’ He exhaled. ‘I can understand why you withheld it from me.’
He did?
‘Of course I would have liked to have known, but I know it was your private situation to share or not share as you wish, and I respect that. Once we started getting closer though, and things felt… different, special, like there was definitely something between us regardless of the distance, I guess knowing that you still kept it from me then was what upset me. I wouldn’t have just disappeared, Lacie. I can’t say for sure how it may have impacted things, but I’m sad you didn’t feel you could tell me.’
She nodded and sighed. ‘I understand your side of things too and I’m sad I upset you. You weren’t just a temporary flirtation to me, Nathan, and I don’t want you to feel like you weren’t – aren’t – an important part of my life.’
‘I know, I get that now. I know you weren’t deceitful, just cautious, and that’s a good trait to have in life. I think I may have overreacted a bit due to my past experience with Tess. She was deceitful, so it kind of triggered all that again.’
Lacie felt bad for him. ‘I’m sorry how it all happened. I definitely would never do anything like that.’
‘I know you wouldn’t.’ He took her hand. ‘I forgive you. And I hope you’ll forgive me for being angrier about it than I should have been.’
‘Thank you. But there’s nothing for me to forgive because you didn’t do anything wrong. You felt minimised, and you had every right to be upset.’
He stroked her hand. ‘It hasn’t changed my connection with you, but it did change the dynamics. I wish we could go back to the way it was, but you’ve just had a baby, and I think it’s best if I let you focus on that… it’s going to be full on, I’m sure. And I don’t want to get in the way of your special experience or confuse things.’
Part of her wanted to resume where they left off with some slight adjustments, her being the mother of a newborn, but he was right. What she needed most right now was to focus on this new stage of her life, and cherish every moment with her daughter, shower her with love and look after herself while she recovered. She was exhausted from everything – the pregnancy, the birth, the emotional upheavals from what happened with him, and Ellie’s issues.
‘I’m really glad you moved back though,’ he said. ‘I didn’t expect that, so it’ll be nice to see you and Elliana around.’ He stood, and she followed suit.
‘Don’t be a stranger,’ she said. ‘I might even need your help with landscaping around the cottage for my new salon I’m going to open next year sometime.’
‘I’d love that. And keep an eye on YouTube for my special video about feature gardens, uploading tomorrow, featuring none other than Tarrin’s Bay’s best pebble artist, Jessie.’
‘Oh, I was wondering if she’d had her interview yet! She showed me Elliana’s special pebble in the garden when I got home. Can’t wait to see the video. And Gloria’s in it too?’
‘She sure is. Her interview brought a tear to my eye, so you have been warned.’
‘Thanks for the heads-up.’ She smiled.
Nathan held out his hand. ‘Friends?’
She grasped his hand and shook it. ‘Friends.’ And instead of letting go and walking back inside, she pulled him close, and he enveloped her in the long awaited, loving embrace she thought she’d never get.