Chapter 25
TWENTY-FIVE
“And that’s how the software executes prescription-based variable rate seeding,” I say, turning from my laptop screen to the group of equipment operators and field hands gathered around the tractor.
“Cool stuff,” Rob says, leaning against the rear tire as he looks up at the display in the cab where the prescription map fills the screen, with management zones layered over the field map, each colour-coded and tagged with its assigned seed population.
Al nods from the seat in the cab, leaning forward to scroll through the rate summary. “This will save a lot of input, that’s for sure.”
I smile, but it falters as I flick my eyes around the garage for what feels like the hundredth time since we’ve been in here.
We’ve spent close to an hour going through all of this and how to use it and read the data… and Silas didn’t even show up. And since he runs the equipment and plays a big role in operations, it’s kind of fucking important that he does.
And it pisses me off even more because I went to him, opened the door, and held out my hand. He didn’t take it, but he listened, and he didn’t walk away. So I thought maybe we had a chance. But it looks like he’s just slamming the door in my face instead.
Scott steps forward and claps a hand on my shoulder with a smile. “Thanks for leading this, Levi. I’m looking forward to seeing it in action.”
I nod and return the smile. And I can’t help but wonder if Silas has said anything to him.
Scott has always been careful not to speak for Silas, and I’ve always appreciated that.
But right now, I have to bite back the urge to ask why it seems like he’s ok with his son being so fucking stubborn about this.
And at that thought, an immediate wave of guilt rolls over me.
Fuck.
“Alright,” Scott’s eyes flick to the large clock on the garage wall that shows it’s just past 7:00 PM. “Everyone get out of here.”
“Aye-aye,” Keith says, throwing him a quick salute before heading towards the door.
Everyone says their good nights as they head out, and I turn back to my laptop on the workbench.
“Don’t stay too late,” Scott calls as he heads towards the door, and I chuckle as I throw him a wave.
“I won’t,” I say.
He gives me a look that says he doesn’t believe that before he disappears into the yard, and I drop onto the stool.
My gaze doesn’t move from the open bay door as I sit quietly in the now-empty garage, and I trace the long shadows cast across the gravel with my eyes. The daylight is slowly slipping away… but it’s not gone yet.
With a heavy sigh, I turn back to the workbench and pull my laptop closer.
The keys click softly as I continue to work on one of the prescription files, refining the zone parameters for the southwest block, and just getting lost in my work for a bit before I head home.
But boots on concrete behind me make me pause, and I look over my shoulder.
Silas stands just inside the garage doors, his gaze travelling over the tractor and down to my laptop.
My jaw tics when his eyes reach me, and I turn back to the screen.
“You missed it,” I say, typing in the updated transition smoothing values.
“I know.”
I don’t say anything as I keep typing, but I only last a second before I turn to face him with a frustrated sigh. “You hate me. I get it. Fine. But this is something you need to—”
“I didn’t want to learn with everyone else.”
I pause, staring back at him as he drops his eyes, and he bites the inside of his cheek.
His fingers pick his thumb at his side, and he shifts his weight before he takes a careful step towards me.
When his gaze lifts again, I release a breath.
Even though he’s trying to hide it, I can see the flicker of fear in his eyes.
His hoodie and jeans are dirty from seed cutting all day, and annoyance bubbles that he chose that instead of coming here.
But the annoyance doesn’t last long. Because while I know it was avoidance, I also know that his being here now is pretty fucking big.
And I know him well enough to understand that burying himself in something familiar is easier than learning something new.
“Want to learn now?” I ask.
His eyes flick towards the tractor, then back to the laptop, and he gives me a small, tight nod.
My heart thumps as I nod back at him, and I swallow hard as my eyes fall down him again.
His sleeves are pushed up to his elbows, revealing his muscular forearms and his hands covered in dirt and grease. My focus lingers on them longer than it should, and my stomach flips as his fingers fidget and his muscles flex.
I quickly pull my gaze away, hoping he didn’t see me staring at his fucking forearms. What the fuck?
Silas stays right where he is as I click on my computer, pulling the prescription file up again and opening the live controller screen as I wait for him to join me. But he doesn’t.
I glance over my shoulder, and he’s just standing back, watching me.
“Well, you’ll have to get close enough to see,” I say, gesturing to the laptop.
His throat bobs, and he reaches up to adjust his backwards hat before he finally steps forward. My eyes stay locked on him as he crosses the garage floor, walking straight towards me, and my chest tightens.
He stops just a couple feet away from me, and I fight the overwhelming urge to push up from my stool and pull him into a hug.
This is the closest he’s been to me since I’ve been here, and I can’t help but take this moment to look into his hazel eyes, at the familiar flecks of green, and the faint freckles across the bridge of his nose.
The small details of Silas I haven’t seen for so long.
And I’m suddenly hit with how much I’ve missed seeing them every day.
A smile spreads over my lips, and his gaze drops to it.
But he doesn’t smile back.
Instead, his eyes fill with tears, and he blinks them back as he bites the inside of his lip.
My smile falls as I watch him fight to hold himself together. “What’s—”
But before I can finish, Silas takes a step back, like he’s going to leave.
I’m off my stool before I can even think about it, stepping towards him in a desperate attempt to keep the space between us from growing any bigger. But as his shoulders stiffen, I stop.
And he stops too.
We stand in complete silence, the only sound coming from the hum of the overhead lights, as Silas keeps his gaze fixed on the concrete floor, and I keep mine on him.
While my heart hurts that he still can’t come all the way to me… I know this is a big step. And I’ll take it.
Silas lifts a hand and gestures towards the laptop, his gaze shifting with it. “What do I do?”
I draw in a slow breath and nod, stepping back to sit on the stool again and give him the space he needs. He stays where he is, so I angle the laptop towards him so he can see.
The live planter profile in the controller interface fills the screen, showing the field boundary map overlaid with management zones and their assigned populations.
“This is the prescription map tied to the planter monitor,” I say.
“Each coloured zone represents a section of the field with a different target population. When you cross from one zone into another, the controller adjusts the seed rate automatically instead of holding one flat number across the entire field.”
Silas’s brows draw together as his eyes move across the screen, and I watch his chest rise and fall as tension seems to build within him.
I shift the laptop away and point towards the tractor. “You know, it’s actually better to see it on the display inside the tractor.”
He pulls in a breath and glances up at the cab, and he looks so defeated already. Like he already knows he’s not going to understand this and is ready for failure before he’s even tried. I’m sad that this belief still lives in him, even after everything he’s done here on the farm to prove himself.
He turns towards the tractor, and my eyes immediately land on his ass when his jeans pull tight across it as he steps up onto the ladder and swings himself into the cab.
And once again, my stomach flips, heat travels up my neck, and my heart picks up its pace.
What the actual fuck…
He drops into the seat, and I snap my focus back to the laptop, shifting on the stool as I try to push that visual out of my mind… even though I apparently don’t want to.
“You should see the usual display up there right now,” I say, keeping my eyes on my screen.
Silas doesn’t say anything, so I look at him again, and he’s just staring at the monitor in front of him.
“Silas?”
His eyes snap to mine, then back to the display with a nod. “Yeah.”
“Ok…” I watch him for a moment as he shifts in his seat and awkwardly looks over the display while his fingers twitch.
This is too much for him.
I know that. In the seat where he’s always felt comfortable, he now looks completely out of place.
And it’s breaking my fucking heart.
“What do you need?” I ask.
He turns his head towards me, and the surprise flashing in his eyes is hard to miss. He looks back at the display, then lets his eyes roam over the inside of the cab, like he’s searching for something to hold onto.
“I don’t know,” he says eventually, in a voice so quiet I almost don’t hear him.
I nod, watching his hands fidget as he holds himself with so much tension, it’s like he’s working impossibly hard just to be here.
But he’s not leaving.
I reach out and close my laptop, and Silas’s eyes track the movement.
“I could… come with you in the tractor next time you till,” I say hesitantly. “And show you how it works in the field while you’re working?”
Silas just watches me with a blank expression, and I brace myself for a fiery rejection.
But just when I think he’s going to tell me to fuck off and storm out of here, he gives me a small nod. “Ok.”
Holy fuck.
I was not expecting that…
“Oh, yeah, ok,” I say with a nod that’s probably way too over-exaggerated, and I try to reel in my disbelief. “Just... let me know when.”
Silas climbs down from the cab, and I avert my gaze before I stare at his ass again.
Seriously, what the fuck?
He turns to face me once he’s on the ground, and I give him a small nod, expecting him to head out.
But just as he starts to turn away, he pauses.
“The hollow heart field…” he starts, and my pulse picks up as I keep my mouth shut and just wait. His eyes drift past me towards the back door and the stretch of land beyond it. “It’s taking longer for the soil to warm up.”
I nod, my heart lurching as his eyes meet mine again.
“It just needs more time,” I say.
Something in his gaze softens slightly, and he nods back at me.
Then he turns and leaves.
And a small smile tugs at my lips.
Because this time, it doesn’t feel like he’s running away.