Chapter 39
“What on earth is all this?” I ask, laughing, as I open the door to Xander. He grins, winking at me, and dammit, but it sends my heart to fluttering wildly in my chest. He steps inside, leaning down to kiss me quickly.
“I’m cooking us dinner, to celebrate your new job starting tomorrow.”
“You’re cooking dinner? Here?”
He nods as he straightens, though he drags his mouth along my cheek. The rasp of his beard tickles, sending shivers down my entire body. “Mmhmm.”
Stepping into the kitchen, he sets the two paper grocery sacks on the counter and reaches into one, and then pulls out a bottle of wine. He digs into his pocket, producing a wine key, and proceeds to open the bottle. “I’m on food, dishes, and kid duty. Pour a glass of wine and go take a bath while I get dinner ready, okay?”
“Xander, this is too much,” I breathe as he starts pulling groceries out of the bags. He nods to the cupboard, and I dutifully pull down a wine glass. He takes it, our fingers grazing, then pours out a small amount of wine before handing it back to me. I’m staring at the back of his dark head like he’s some kind of mythical being.
“I should have asked first, do Dalton and Penny like spaghetti?” he asks, turning to me as I stare at him. His eyes soften, like he can see the awe on my face, but continues like this isn’t out of the ordinary for us. “If not, I can make something else.”
“We love s’ketti!” Penny exclaims from the other side of the couch, where she’d been laying on the floor playing. She jumps over the back of the couch, ignoring my warning scowl, and launches herself at Xander’s legs as she barrels into the kitchen. He scoops her up into his arms, placing her on his hip. Her little face scrunches up then, pointing to a produce container sitting on the counter.. “I don ’ like muh’rooms though.”
Xander laughs, bouncing her in his arms to get a better hold on her. “That’s okay. These are for me and Mom.”
“Do you have garlic bread, too?” Dalton asks, climbing into one of the barstools on the opposite side of the counter. He leans on his forearms across the space, peering into the bags and at the items Xander has already fished out of them.
Xander reaches into the bag and pulls out a loaf of French bread. “Homemade is the only way to go. Do you want to help me mash the garlic and mix it into the butter?”
“Yeah!” Dalton says, bobbing his head.
Xander turns to me then, grimacing slightly. “You do have a garlic press, right? My dad wasn’t big on home cooking, so he didn’t leave me with much in the way of homewares.”
“Yes, I have a garlic press,” I laugh, skirting around him and Penny to fetch it out of one of the drawers. “Xander. This is a lot.”
Spreading his hand wide across my lower back, he urges me closer, so that I’m tucked against his other side. “I’ll be the judge of that. Come on, take that wine and go take a bath. Has Bea eaten? ”
I blush and nod. “Yes, but she’ll be hungry again before bed.”
“So just one small glass,” he whispers and winks. “Gotta keep my little one fed, too.”
“Xander…”
“You keep saying my name like it’s going to change the outcome of this evening,” he laughs, dropping a kiss to my lips. Penny snickers behind her hand. He twists his head to look at her. “What’s so funny?”
“You kissed Mommy,” she giggles behind her hand.
“I did,” he says, nodding. Looking at her and then over to Dalton, he asks gently, “Is that okay with you guys?”
Dalton shrugs his shoulders from where he’s still leaning on the counter, watching us. “Yeah, I think so. You make Mom smile, so it makes me happy.”
My heart squeezes in my chest, and my nose stings with unshed tears.
Xander’s arm tightens around my waist and he turns his head to look at me. “She makes me happy, too, champ.”
I blink rapidly to dispel the tears lining my eyes, and I avoid looking directly at Xander. His lips press into my temple and I sigh. I’m so screwed.
“Go on, Mama. I’ve got things handled out here,” he whispers against my temple, and I nod.
“Okay,” I whisper hesitantly. Picking up the glass of wine, I head down the hall.
Shutting the bathroom door, I turn the taps on to start filling the bathtub and even squeeze in a little bubble bath I find under the sink.
I don’t remember the last time I indulged in an actual bubble bath or even had time to consider one.
I strip out of my shorts but hesitate before I pull my shirt off over my head. Padding out of the bathroom, I grab up a couple candles and bring them back with me. Lighting them, I turn the overhead light off, and the candle flames flicker across the walls and cast just enough light to see. It’s quiet and cozy. God, what a luxury this is.
Sinking into the warm water, I sip my wine, reveling in the moment. I never get to do this.
Xander is spoiling me, and if he’s not careful, I could get used to it.
I must languish in the warm water for close to half an hour before a soft knock sounds on the door. “Come in,” I call quietly, and then Xander appears around the door. He has a glass of water in one hand, and he swaps out my empty wine glass for the water.
I have barely a second to be embarrassed, very aware that the only thing keeping him from seeing all of me is the thin layer of bubbles clinging to the surface of the water before he leans over the tub. Bracing those sexy, strong arms on the rim of the basin to leverage himself over me, he drops his mouth onto mine in a soul stealing kiss. One hand disappears beneath the surface of the water, slipping between my thighs. I moan into his mouth, my entire body heating as his fingers find what he’s looking for.
“Are you enjoying your bath?” he husks against my mouth. I nod, my eyelids fluttering closed as those fingers slide inside me, slow and deep. “Good. Dinner should be ready in about ten minutes. Come join us when you’re dressed.”
And then the bastard leaves me practically panting in the dim light of the room and ridiculously turned on. Holy shit.
Stepping out of the tub, I dry off and then wrap the fluffy towel around my body before padding into the bedroom. I move to grab my go-to outfit of biker shorts and a loose tunic top, but stop myself. Instead, I step over to the closet and thumb through the hangers, my fingers sliding over a simple, dusty blue maxi sundress with a built-in shelf bra, so I don’t have to put a nursing bra on beneath it. It has thin straps that cross over my shoulders, a V neckline, and a slit clear up the thigh. I haven’t worn it since last summer, before I was pregnant with Bea. It’s flowy and comfortable, and casual enough for a simple dinner with Xander and the kids, while just provocative enough to drive this man a little crazy.
God, I hope it still fits.
I pull on a pair of cheeky panties and then slide the maxi dress over my curves. I’d piled my hair up in a claw clip while I’d lounged in the warm bath, and stray tendrils are curling against my neck and temples. Brushing just a touch of blush to my cheeks and refreshing my mascara, I stare at myself in the mirror for a long second, running my palms over the dip of my waist and down the wide fullness of my hips. My right thigh peeks out of the high slit of the dress, my feet bare where the hem brushes my ankles.
Garnering my courage, I open the bedroom door and step out, releasing a long breath. It smells divine, but it’s the music drifting to me from down the short hallway that steals my breath. I can’t help but laugh as I enter the living room.
Lifelong hotshot bachelor Xander Macomb is currently listening to Disney sing-along songs playing from the bluetooth stereo. Penny is singing loudly along with Elsa, her arms thrown wide as Xander spins her in the center of the kitchen by one hand. Bea is cradled in his other arm facing outward, her little back tucked into his chest, her arms and legs kicking and waving like crazy. A wide, mostly toothless grin stretches across her face. Dalton is sprawled out on his back on the couch, his head propped up on the arm and a chapter book resting on his chest, but he grins up at me as I walk through.
My heart cracks wide open in my chest at the scene before me.
Oh god, I missed this. My kids missed this. These moments that mean so damn much but seem so little in the grand scheme of things. Something as simple as making dinner together as a family and dancing in the kitchen. Tears sting my nose, but the smile that pulls at my lips is one of pure happiness.
Dalton is right. Xander makes me smile. He makes me happy.
I never thought I’d have this again. I was so sure that I would never want to have this again.
Xander’s eyes find mine then as I come into the kitchen, and his gaze travels from the top of my head down to my toes and back. The heat in that gaze when it finds mine again is scorching. He licks his lips, then bites the bottom one between his straight, white teeth. I swear I hear a deep growl rumble out of his chest a second before he steps over to me.
Clasping the back of my neck in his palm, he angles my head up and back so that I’m looking up at him. My breathing is stuttered, eyes bouncing between his as he brushes his lips across the corner of my mouth.
“Fuck, Teddy,” he whispers beneath his breath, that low rumble for my ears only. I’m practically panting. “You are stunning. So fucking pretty, Mama. Goddamn, the things I want to do to you…”
Penny chooses that moment to interrupt us, wrapping her arms around my thighs as she bounces in place. “Mommy, dance with me!”
Xander kisses me swiftly, then backs away. I don’t miss the way the back of his hand passes over the fly of his jeans, making me blush as I turn toward Penny.
“Last song and then dinner,” Xander says, stepping around the kitchen counter to set Bea in her pack ‘n play in the living room. He makes sure she has several toys within reach, and then he’s back to the kitchen. He dishes up everyone’s plates, asking me about portion sizes for Dalton and Penny while Dalton helps set the table with silverware and napkins.
Once I have both kids settled at the table, Xander stops me with his hands on my waist and his mouth on the curve of my neck. “This may be dinner, but I know what I want for dessert.”
I giggle, shaking my head. “Xander.”
“Sit down and eat while it’s hot. Would you like a little more wine with dinner?” he asks, stepping away. I shake my head, and he refills my water instead, placing it on the table. Once we’re all seated, he leans on his elbows and looks over at Dalton. “How was school today, champ?”
Again, my heart cracks open. Dalton launches into a tale about what they’d learned in science, and then Penny gets a turn to regale us with her knowledge of the full alphabet. Sitting kitty corner to one another at the table, Xander looks over at me and winks before sliding his left hand over the bare skin of my thigh that’s peeking out of the slit in my dress.
The heat of his palm on my skin burns through me, his fingers squeezing around my thigh, just above my knee. I can’t deny that I love having his attention, his open affection, like this. It’s like a balm to my soul, and to my heart.
It’s a little ridiculous how truly crazy I am about this man. He hasn’t said he loves me again since that first time, but his actions say it for him. I can see it in his eyes as he watches me.
I want this. I want this so bad I ache with it. It’s so damn easy with him. And he’s so good with my kids it’s unfair.
Dinner is always a little chaotic, and Penny manages to spill her milk on the table. Before I can stand to grab a towel, Xander is pushing to his feet and dropping a kiss to the top of my head. “I’ve got it. Stay here.”
Once dinner is done, he sends both big kids to the bathroom to wash their hands and faces and to change into pajamas just as Bea starts to fuss from the pack ‘n play. He takes my empty plate to the sink while I grab her. Glancing over at him almost shyly—how this man can still make me blush after everything is beyond me—I slip one strap of my dress down my arm and settle the baby in to nurse .
Bea cradled in one arm, I wander around the dining space, picking up plates and bringing them to the sink. Xander rinses them before putting them in the dishwasher, and then dries his hands. Turning, he leans his hips against the counter, legs crossed at the ankles. Crossing his arms over his chest, he drags one hand down his lower face, staring raptly as I shift Bea from one breast to the other with practiced ease, righting my dress single handedly.
“You amaze me, you know that?” he asks, raising his eyes to mine. The awe, the wonder, the pure adoration on his face as he watches me steals my breath entirely.
I blush again and lower my eyes, letting my fingers trail over Bea’s soft cheek to avoid the intensity in his gaze.
“Thank you for tonight.” My words are quiet and earnest. I don’t have the courage to look him in the eyes as I say it, so I keep my eyes trained on Bea’s face. “This was…I really liked having you here with us like this, Xander.”
“I’d like to spend all of my nights with you like this, Teddy. When I’m home. I want to be with you and the kids,” he says quietly, and I can sense that he’s still staring at me. “If that’s what you want.”
I nod slowly, raising my eyes to his. A tentative, hesitant smile tugs at my lips, and they wobble just the slightest. “Yeah, I think I do.”
“Good,” he whispers, one corner of his mouth tilting up in that adorable grin that I’ve come to love so much.
Shit. Do I love Xander? Could it be possible that I’ve fallen for him this quickly?
Later, after we’ve tucked all three kids into bed—together—he draws me into his arms in the darkness of the kitchen and slow dances with me to the quiet stillness of the house around us. And I admit that yes, it’s very possible that I’ve already fallen for Xander.