Chapter 8
Austin
“Okay, what has gotten into you?” Charlie asks, coming to stand at my side as I angrily chug down a bottle of water. We just spent a good hour practicing, getting ready for the game tonight, and I’ve done shitty. Like, worse than I’ve ever been.
“I’m just distracted,” I mutter, throwing my bottle into the locker before pushing past him for the showers.
“Is everything good? I mean with you and Levi?” Charlie asks.
“Everything is fine. Just peachy,” I say in a way that's not at all believable.
“Yeah, because that sounds convincing,” Charlie drolls, leaning against the wall as I strip out of my dirt-covered clothes. Giving him a glare, I yank the shower curtain shut.
“I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. Just tired.” Because I was up all night thinking about Levi.
I know he works a lot. Too fucking much if you ask me.
But I don’t know, I really wanted him to be there for this game.
It’s one of the biggest ones for us. Not for the league, but for us personally, because this team is one we always have trouble beating, and this year is going to be the year we kick their ass.
At least that's what I was hoping for until my mind was pulled right out of the game.
I should have known better than to even get my hopes up. There was nothing so far that showed Levi would have any free time. But still, like a love-sick sap, I wished for it.
“You know I’m happy for the both of you, right?
You guys mean the world to me. But are you sure that you two being together is the best idea?
At least right now? Levi is so dead set on working, and I understand why.
He took the hit for Megan to be able to have her dream wedding, and now he believes he has to do it all on his own.
But he doesn’t. Yet he won’t take anyone's help.” He sighs.
“Anyway, I don’t see Levi changing any time soon.
Even for you. He’s missed a lot of holidays because of work.
He doesn’t do it because he doesn’t care, he just has his mind set on his future.
Any of the times you’ve talked about you and Levi hanging out, it’s always been just coffee. Is that how it’s always going to be?”
I want him to shut up. I want him to stop talking because I know everything he’s saying is true. And I hate it.
I have no right to be upset that I don’t get to see him as much as I want. To Levi, this is just fake. We’re not actually dating. He owes me nothing. Not even the friends with benefits arrangement we agreed to.
Although the way he made it sound, like he was a very sex positive person, I thought I would at least have gotten a call or text to come and take care of his needs.
Not that I’ve asked him about taking care of mine. And trust me, I’ve been craving another taste of that man for weeks.
I just, I don’t know. I don’t want him to think I only want to see him for sex. This whole plan of making Levi fall for me so we can really be together is bombing. Big time.
Maybe I need to face the fact that Levi really isn’t wanting or ready for a relationship. He did say as much after all.
I should save my heart and just accept whatever I can get as friends and move on.
Only I don’t want to move on. Levi is the one I want. The only one I’ve ever wanted to be mine. The best I could probably do is wait until he’s ready.
Or, you could be a man and tell the guy how you really feel.
Yeah, no, that sounds terrifying.
“I love you, man. But I really don’t want to hear you tell me how you don’t think I should be with my boyfriend.
I like Levi. A lot. I’m not just going to give up on him because it’s not easy.
No relationship is easy. Things are new, we’re just finding our way, and how things will work for us.
We’ll be fine. I just have to be patient. ”
“Damn.” Charlie whistles. “You really do like him, don’t you?” More than you know. “I approve, by the way. Your answer was pretty perfect.”
“Were you testing me?” I pause, washing my hair.
“Maybe,” he chuckles. “But you passed. Levi... he has a big heart. He is always putting other people before himself, for the most part. He’s a people pleaser, and too many people have taken advantage of that fact.
Not to mention his ex is a real piece of fucking work,” Charlie growls.
“I swear, if I could kick his ass without it possibly causing issues between Levi and me, I’d have done it a while ago. ”
“Why haven't you?” Because I sure as fuck would have.
“Because he asked me not to,” he mutters. “And I don’t want to break his trust. He’s already been put through enough of that.”
A punch of guilt hits me right in the gut. Fuck.
Not knowing what to say to that, I don’t respond. Charlie leaves me to finish my shower.
I spend the rest of the day in my own head. And because I didn’t get my morning coffee with Levi, the lack of sleep gets to me more than normal.
I’m not present in any of my classes and have to ask a buddy of mine to send me his notes.
By the end of the day, I’m tired, cranky, hungry, and in an all-around pissy mood. I agree to go out for supper with the team to carb load before the game.
Once it’s time for the game to start, I feel like shit. And I know I’m not going to play well. Knowing I’m going to let my team down tonight fills me with even more guilt, adding to my crappy feeling.
“We got this!” Andy shouts. “C’mon, boys. Let’s go kick their arses!”
Being the scrum-half, I play an important part for this team. And seeing how my head is in fact not in the game, not at all, I don’t cheer with the rest of the team.
We make our way out onto the field, and I groan as the rain pelts down. Fucking hell. Just what I need on top of my already pissy mood.
It’s Newfoundland, and we’re right on the water. Rain is almost a daily thing here. I’m used to it. Normally, I love playing in the rain, getting all muddy. It provides a challenge, pushes me.
Not today.
The coach says something, but I don’t pay attention. The only thing I can think about is Levi. He’s all I can seem to think about these days.
The coach calls for a team chant. I join half heartedly. Breaking, we get ready to start.
“Well, I’ll be fucking damned,” Charlie laughs disbelievingly.
“What?” I blink, water getting in my eyes.
“He came. He actually showed up.”
“What? Who?”
Charlie points to the stands, and my eyes follow in the same direction. “He has never come to a game in his life. I wonder why today is different?” Charlie gives me a knowing look.
Sitting there in the stands is Levi. Holy shit! He’s really here.
He’s sitting under an umbrella, snuggled up in a jacket. When he sees me looking, his handsome face shifts into a nervous smile as he gives me a small wave.
Like a shot to the heart, pure glee seeps into my body. He’s here. He’s fucking here. Because I asked him to be. He’s here for me.
The smile that splits my face is nearly painful, and I don’t care how much of a fucking dumbsss I look like, I lift my hand and wave.
“Hey, baby!” I whistle. “This is for you!”
And just like that, just seeing Levi in the stands, showing up for me even though he said he had to work, has all the bad feelings drifting away.
Maybe, just maybe, things are looking up. Baby steps. But still. It’s something. I’ll take it.
I’m pumped, ready to go. Ready to kick these fuckers ass and bring on the win we deserve.
“Let’s go, Sea Serpents!” I roar. “Let’s fucking go!”