Chapter Twenty
The following morning getting out of bed at his regular time was really difficult.
Riley had had a hard time sleeping the night before.
Letty, and what he could do to change her mind, was all he could think about.
Even while he took care of the horses, he tried not to focus on the fact that from now on he and Letty were over.
He’d see her, but only occasionally. He’d never hold her, kiss her, make love to her…
Shit, he needed to stop thinking about that. Talk about counterproductive.
At least he’d successfully avoided his mother the night before. But she caught him in the kitchen right after he’d seen to the animals. “I want to talk to you, Riley.”
Shit. He knew that tone. If you looked up implacable in the dictionary that would be his mom when she used that tone. Nevertheless, he tried. “Can we talk later? I’ve still got chores—”
“No, it can’t wait. I also know you’ve already done most of the chores so the rest can wait. No excuses.” She walked to the den, expecting him to follow.
Which he did.
Lorraine sat on the couch and waited until he sat beside her. “What is going on between you and Letty? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Riley, I’m neither stupid nor oblivious. Something is clearly very wrong between you.”
He sighed. His mom almost certainly had heard from Jasper that Riley was serious about Letty.
He should have known she’d be too perceptive to not realize something wasn’t right.
“I want to marry her. She doesn’t want to marry me.
In fact, when I told her I loved her, it freaked her out so much we broke up. ”
“When did this happen?”
“Christmas Eve.”
“And yet, she was here for Christmas dinner.”
“She came to Christmas because she didn’t want to disappoint you. I was going to tell you about us, but I was giving you time.”
“Do you really think I’m so pitiful, so weak, that you can’t tell me the truth?”
“I don’t think you’re pitiful or weak. You were really sick and scared the hell out of all of us. You’re still not completely well. I didn’t want to cause a setback.” He could have thrown Mercy under the bus, but he didn’t. That would have been pretty chickenshit of him.
“I suppose I can’t get mad at you for loving me and trying to spare me.” She smiled and patted his hand. “But back to Letty—do you love her?”
“More than I can say. I also want to shake her for being so stubborn.”
“Does she love you?”
“I think so, but she won’t admit it. I don’t know why she’s so adamant about not getting serious. She says she ‘can’t,’” he said, making air quotes for the last word.
“Have you asked her why?”
“Of course. She said something about not wanting to lose me. Which makes no sense. She’s losing me now. If breaking up isn’t losing each other then I don’t know what is.”
His mom looked thoughtful. “Do you remember when Letty came to live with us?”
“Yes, but I was in college and wasn’t around much. I was either in class or working. But I remember how sad she was when she first came to live with us.”
“Letty lost her parents her senior year of high school. It was a critical time in her life. She was a mess, to put it bluntly. She seemed to pull it together in a few months, but I’ve never been sure about how together she really was.”
“She never told you or talked to you about it?”
“Superficially, yes. But she never completely opened up. At least, that’s what I always thought. You know Jasper and I love her like our own. And I know she loves us, but we aren’t her parents. I would be surprised if she didn’t have unresolved feelings about her loss.”
“I thought she went to counseling?”
“She did. But while it can help, counseling doesn’t necessarily resolve those feelings of loss and abandonment. It depends on how much she was willing to share. Partly, anyway. It’s not a panacea. I’m not sure how much good it accomplished.”
“So what am I supposed to do?”
“Be patient with her. If she loves you, she’ll come around. And Riley—” She put her hand on his arm. “I believe she does.”
“I wish I had your confidence.” What else could he do, though? He had to wait and hope she’d realize she loved him enough to get past whatever was stopping her from being with him.
Or she wouldn’t and he’d have to figure out a way to live without her.
*
Letty knew she had nothing to complain about. It had been her idea in the first place for her and Riley to break up after New Year’s. Of course, it had been Riley who’d broken things off before that.
She wasn’t going to let it bother her. She’d go on just as she’d always done. Independently. She didn’t need a man to make her life complete. Even if the man in question was a smart, gorgeous cowboy who was amazingly sweet. Or had been until she’d broken his heart.
Two days after Christmas she went back to work.
She had the time off but decided she might as well cover for another librarian who had a family to go home to.
Hardly anyone came in and short of reorganizing shelves that didn’t need it, not to mention, the other librarians wouldn’t know where anything was if she did that, she had nothing to do.
She tried to read but not even one of Cici’s thrillers could hold her interest. Mostly she sat and tried not to think about Riley.
Then Val came in. Uh-oh, Letty thought. One look at her best friend and she knew three things. Val had talked to Riley, she knew they’d broken up, and she was loaded for bear.
“What is wrong with you?” Val asked.
“Hello to you too. Want to clue me in on what you’re so pissed about?”
“Like you don’t know. Why did you break up with Riley?”
“Technically, he broke up with me. But it was a mutual decision. And absolutely none of your business.”
“He’s my brother and you’re my best friend. That makes it my business.”
“Look, Val, it was fun. It was never intended to be serious.” Did that sound as thoughtless to her friend as it did in her head?
“Bullshit. You broke him, Letty.”
Letty stared at her. “You’re wrong. He might be…upset right now but Riley is fine.”
“If you call being absolutely miserable fine, then sure. He’s just dandy.”
“Riley knew when we started this that it was just a fling. He’s the one who decided to end it.” Even though if he hadn’t ended it when he did, she’d have had to break up at New Year’s.
“I don’t think he sees it as a fling. He told Mom he wanted to marry you, but you wouldn’t. Is that true?”
“He might have mentioned marriage but I don’t believe he meant it.” And that was a big ol’ lie. “Your mother must have misunderstood.”
Val studied her critically. “No offense, but you pretty much look like shit. Apparently you’re not happy about the breakup either.”
“We were getting too serious. I can’t, Val. I just can’t.”
“Are you saying you can’t get serious with Riley, or you can’t do it with anyone?”
“I’m working, Val. I’m not getting into this with you.”
“I don’t understand you, but I know when you get this way you won’t talk. So I’ll drop it.” She didn’t add ‘for now’ but it was implied. “Are you going to Logan and Cici’s housewarming holiday party tonight?”
Crap. She’d forgotten about that. Much as she didn’t feel like partying she knew she had to go. “I’ll be there but I probably won’t stay long.” Especially if Riley was there. Which he would be.
Why hadn’t she considered how awkward it was going to be once she and Riley broke up?
Because at the time you wanted him. Badly. You weren’t thinking about the future.
*
The last thing Riley wanted to do was go to a party, but he was stuck. Logan and Cici were friends of his and he’d already said he’d come. Of course, when he said he’d come, he’d thought he’d be bringing Letty.
Maybe she wouldn’t show. Right. Highly doubtful since she was good friends with Cici. He’d just have to suck it up and try to act as if it didn’t bother him to see Letty. Hell, he was going to have to get used to it. He just hadn’t wanted to start quite this soon. Or honestly, ever.
Logan and Cici’s new house was a medium-sized cream brick home on Chance Avenue. It was close to the hospital for Logan and not far from the elementary school. Not that they had kids yet, but Riley suspected they soon would be announcing a pregnancy.
The first person he saw when he walked in was Letty. She was talking to someone he didn’t know—a man, naturally. The dude was good-looking, he supposed. Letty seemed to think so. She was all but hanging on his words.
She looked good. Great, actually. She wore a short, red skirt with a white sweater and black boots that went up to her knees. Classy and sexy.
He found Cici and Logan and, after telling them congratulations on the new house, he asked who the stranger was.
“I’ll be back, Logan,” Cici said. “I think we need more chips.”
Riley looked at Logan. “Well, who is he?”
“Ryan Hunter. He’s just moved here. He’s a buddy of Connor’s. They served together in Afghanistan.”
“Was he a medic too?” he asked, knowing Logan’s brother, who was a flight paramedic now, had been a combat medic in Afghanistan.
“No, he was a combat surgeon. He’s a trauma surgeon now. He’ll start work at the hospital sometime after New Year’s.”
Great. A veteran doctor. Probably a hero. And Letty seemed taken with him. Well, they weren’t together so there was nothing he could do about it. “Is he single?”
“Yes.”
They both looked at Letty and the surgeon. “Shit,” Riley muttered.
“That reminds me, what’s going on with you and Letty?”
“We broke up.”
“Obviously. Val told me. She’s upset about it.”
“Not her problem. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay. I get it.”
“I need to get back to the ranch. Tell Cici goodbye for me.” So, he was a chicken. Sue him.
He’d nearly reached his truck when he heard Letty call him. “Riley, wait up.”
Shit. He’d nearly made it. He stopped and turned around to face her. “What do you want, Letty?”
“I want to talk to you. Can you come to my apartment?”
“We can talk here.” No way was he going to her apartment. Far too many memories.
“No, we can’t. Please, just come to my place.”
He looked at her, trying to figure out what she wanted. “Maybe you should ask the new doctor over. You two looked pretty cozy.”
“We weren’t. You sound like you’re jealous.”
Riley shrugged.
“Are you coming or not?”
“Fine.” Seeing her again was killing him but she was determined to get him to her apartment. So he’d go. And leave damn quickly.