Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
NADINE
Driving away from Nights shouldn’t make me want to cry, but it does.
Every single mile I drive farther away causes more tears to slide down my cheeks.
I’d planned on calling Brody on my way out of town, but even fifty miles out, I’m still crying.
I figure between now and the next two hundred miles, I’ll be able to call him.
I’ve made a decision to drive to South Carolina and start my new life on the beach.
I’m not sure what I’m going to do for work or where I’m going to live, but now that I don’t have to look over my shoulder for Landon, I have the time to figure it out.
What I’m not sure of is if my heart will continue beating.
I can’t imagine living life without Grayson.
I fell in love with him without meaning to.
Sure, for years, I was infatuated by him, too afraid to speak up or make a move, but then it happened.
I was at my absolute worst, yet it happened, and it was beautiful and perfect in every way it could be.
But it was not meant to last.
Maybe that’s exactly what it was supposed to be.
Maybe he was meant to show me how good it could feel to be desired.
To be treasured and protected.
The tears begin to dry around the one-hundred-mile point.
And that’s when I get the bright idea to call Brody.
“Are you okay?” he calls out with a panicked tone.
“I’m okay,” I somewhat lie because physically, I am fine.
Mentally and emotionally…
not so much.
He doesn’t call me out on my lie, though he probably knows it’s one.
Brody and I may have shared emotions and feelings when we were younger, but that is not the case any longer.
He’s not the teenage boy he once was, and I’m not the little girl I was.
Our connection is the same and yet different.
I don’t know him as well as I used to, but I don’t love him any less.
We’ve gone our separate ways.
He found family in the club, a club that was part of our history.
And I lived a nightmare until I was able to escape.
But my escape wasn’t freedom, at least not until now.
Now that I have my complete freedom, I want nothing more than to be tethered to someone.
Well, not to just anyone.
To Grayson.
Always to Grayson.
“I left Nights. I wanted to let you know,” I announce.
There is a long moment of silence, and I hold my breath, waiting for him to respond.
Before he speaks, I hear him clear his throat, then he lets out a heavy sigh.
“Where are you headed?”
“South Carolina, somewhere on the beach.”
“Do you know which one?”
I laugh softly but decide not to tell him the truth, mainly because I’m not sure if I’ll stay there.
“I don’t know where I’m going to land. When I do, I’ll call you.”
Silence again.
But this time, he doesn’t stay quiet for long.
Instead, he speaks, continuing to ask me more questions.
Brody has been the only man I have ever been able to count on.
I know that he harbors massive guilt about me being sent to Landon in the beginning and then being tied up while Landon did what he did to me.
But I don’t blame him.
I never did.
Our parents were the problem, and Brody did whatever he could to help me when I needed it.
“I could tell you what I think, but it wouldn’t matter. Stay vigilant. Landon might be gone, but nobody knows just how deep his shit goes or who could be looking for him.”
He’s right.
There could be people looking for Landon, and they know by now that he’s gone.
It’s been all over the news here, so I assume it has been in DC as well.
It’s not hard to figure out that I’m his wife.
Those records are public.
“I will keep an eye out. But, Brody?” I ask.
He grunts, not saying anything, waiting for me to continue.
Pressing my lips together, I stare ahead at the road, the sky turning lighter as the sun begins to rise.
“If something happens to me, whatever it is, just let it happen.”
“Nadine?” he asks, his voice deepening.
I hum as my gaze continues to search the skyline in front of me.
It’s beautiful, and I watch as other colors begin to mix with the deep shades of blue and the light shades of gray.
There is orange and pink, plus a little purple.
It’s stunning.
And for whatever reason, the sight causes tears to prick my eyes again.
It’s so beautiful, and I should be feeling very blessed that I’m able to see another sunrise, but instead, I’m feeling very sorry for myself.
“Yeah,” I whisper.
“I love you, you know that?”
Hearing my brother tell me that he loves me does something to my heart.
It squeezes but in a good way.
Sucking in a breath, I let it out slowly before I answer.
“I know that, Brody. I love you so much.”
“Don’t run from me. I know you’re running, but don’t run from me. Not when I’ve just got you back.”
My whole body jerks as a sob escapes my lips.
“I’m not going anywhere. I am just a phone call away. Maybe I’ll end up back in Nights, but I need to do this. I need to find myself.”
“You do,” he says.
“But don’t hide yourself away, either.”
“I won’t.”
Ending the call, I attempt to focus on the road, but it turns blurry from my tears, and I have to pull over for a full-on crying jag before I get myself together, grip my steering wheel, and go.
GRAYSON
Walking into the office, I can’t help but wonder what the fuck sight is going to greet me.
I expect to see Nadine’s sullen face focused on mine when I walk toward her desk, but it’s empty.
As I move through the building, I’m alarmed because the whole place is empty.
There isn’t even anyone in the surveillance room, which doesn’t surprise me, considering we’re no longer on the job that kept us in that room twenty-four seven.
I can’t deny that I miss it, the excitement and the completely mundane part of the whole thing.
I head toward my office and sink down in my office chair.
I should be gathering my shit to head out to my next job, but I find myself wasting time so that everyone else can show up.
So that I can see Nadine and know that she’s okay.
That she is safe.
I need to know that she’s okay.
I have to.
I fucked this up so goddamn bad, and I only have two weeks to fix it.
The office begins to fill up, mainly with the guys and Colette.
When Theron arrives and stops at Nadine’s desk, he turns his head and looks toward my office.
The expression he wears is, without a doubt, murderous.
Then he walks toward me.
No, he marches, and he doesn’t stop until he’s right in front of me.
He tilts his head to the side, his murderous gaze focused on me and only me.
Arching a brow, I attempt to appear nonchalant.
My heart races as I think about what the fuck he’s going to say to me.
I can tell that he’s, without a doubt, pissed the fuck off and that anger is focused on me.
As much as I want to deflect his anger, I know that I need to soak it up because I am the reason for it.
It is my fault.
“Where the fuck is she?” Theron asks.
“I have no goddamn clue,” I respond.
He stares at me, his brows knitting together.
I can tell he’s confused.
“How do you have no clue?” Theron asks.
I almost laugh.
Shaking my head, I clear my throat.
“We got into a thing last night. I walked away.”
“You walked away,” Theron repeats my words.
Standing up from my seat, I walk around to the window and look out at the street.
Sinking my teeth into my bottom lip, I worry it for a moment, then I turn around and look at Theron.
His anger fills the room.
It becomes completely all-consuming.
I can’t breathe.
“I walked away,” I choke out, repeating the words.
I’m such a goddamn pussy.
“Why?” Theron demands.
Looking down at my shoes, I take them in; they’re brown.
Polished to perfection, except for the small scratch on the left side of the right toe.
That shit is going to bother the fuck out of me.
I need to get them repaired.
“She left me a voicemail on my work cell and said that she would not be coming back. I wasn’t sure that she was serious until I got here, and she wasn’t sitting behind her desk.”
“She left you a voicemail?” I ask.
Swear to fuck; this entire conversation is like pulling goddamn teeth.
“She left a voicemail,” he confirms.
I wait for him to continue, but he doesn’t.
Instead, he just fucking stares at me, waiting for me to say something, although I’m not sure what the fuck he expects me to actually say.
Opening my mouth, I start to ask him what the hell is going on, but he continues instead, saving me from having to actually ask anything.
“Her voicemail said she was leaving town. She left it around two in the morning. So what the fuck happened?”
I didn’t want to say any of this shit to anyone.
Being vulnerable is not something any one of us wants to be—ever.
However, we tend to go in that direction more often than not.
Our backgrounds make it that way.
We can never be the cold, unfeeling bastards we need to be when we’re together.
When we’re alone.
We know too much about one another for that shit.
So the fact that he’s talking to me right now means he wants me to be completely and totally honest with him.
“I gave her a ring but told her I’d never marry her, never have kids with her, and I would never fuck her again.”
“Grayson,” Theron warns.
Crossing my arms over my chest, I dip my chin slightly.
“That is fucking that,” I state.
“I don’t know what else to do. That is what she fucking wants, and I can’t give it to her.”
“Grayson,” he hisses, “what the fuck? I thought you were going to fix this.”
I thought I was going to fix this, too, but all I did was fuck it up even more.
Completely and goddamn totally screw it up.
I don’t know how to fix any of this shit.
Not in the fucking slightest.
I ruined everything.
Everything .
And I can’t fix it, or anything, or myself, or Nadine.
Nothing.
It would be better for her and everyone involved if I were the one who left, not her.
She needs to be around people who love her and care for her.
She needs to be in Nights.