Chapter 11
Danny
Rob had been subdued the entire time I’d been with him, and I couldn’t help thinking I should just take off, but when we got back to his house, he was adamant I sit at the table while he set about heating plates of food for the four of us.
Who was I to argue? If it meant spending more time with this wonderful little unit of three, I was happy to do it.
As we dug into Mama’s delicious meal, however, I finally cracked. “What’s wrong?”
He dug his fork into the mashed potatoes—slathered in gravy—and hesitated. “I need a job, Danny. Really badly.”
“Is it money?” I didn’t have much, but I could give him something. I could definitely help get more for him. Even if that meant hitting up every family member I had and?—
He shook his head. Then winced. Then nodded. “I get some money from the state for a bit, but that’s going to run out.” Finally, he met my gaze. “I’ve never had a real job before. I want to feel like I’m contributing. I want to show my kids?—”
I waved my hand in the air. “Hang on a second.”
He stared.
“You’ve been taking care of two beautiful, amazing, brilliant children for four years?”
“Well…” He eyed them.
Hallie sat watching us, while Thomas nibbled on the turkey I’d cut up for him.
“What’s brilliant?” Hallie blinked.
I’d have to remember to watch my words. She was very smart, so that was true. Just…she apparently understood more than I gave her credit for.
Rob feathered her hair. “Smart. You and Thomas are smart.”
That appeared to satisfy her as she ate a green bean.
“Maybe we can take up this discussion later?” Rob’s gaze was pleading.
Later? I should be getting on the road soon—back to either Huntington Beach or LA. I could crash with James, of course, but I didn’t like to drop in unannounced. If Colin was having a bad day, then that wouldn’t be fair. “Sure. I, uh, have some news to share with you. But you have to promise not to say anything.”
Rob chuckled. “And who, precisely, would I tell?”
“I don’t know.” I cut a piece of turkey. “You might feel an obligation to run over to tell James and Colin.”
He laid down his fork and, after a long moment, placed his hand over mine.
The contact shocked me. I’d been so careful not to touch him. Not to spook him. But here he was the one initiating contact. I had to be respectful of that.
“If you tell me something in confidence, I’ll hold it to my heart and never share it, okay? You can trust me.” He blinked several times. “I’ve only ever said that to two other people. Two women.” He gazed at his children. “God, I hope—wherever they are—they’re not regretting their decision. I don’t ever want to let them down. To let my children down.” He added that in a whisper as Hallie gazed at him.
“Papa?”
“I’m thinking we should read one of those wonderful books from the library.” He gave her a smile. “We didn’t have much of a nap today.”
I’d noticed Thomas was nearly falling asleep in his food. “I’ll do the dishes.”
“And help me put them to bed?” Rob gave me a look I struggled to interpret. “It’s good that…”
That someone else do this as well? I wasn’t certain I was filling in the blank correctly, but I understood. He’d probably been the only one taking care of the kids for four years. If something happened to him… “Happy to help.” I slowly rotated my hand so our palms touched.
He grasped my hand.
Our gazes held.
The man was so stoic that I struggled to interpret his expression. But I understood he was asking for help.
We finished eating dinner, then had some of Mama’s homemade apple pie. She’d even made the crust, and Rob was clearly impressed.
I made a note to try to learn myself so I could impress him on my own. That was what I wanted—that he saw me as competent. Not just a college student living in a dorm who never did anything for himself.
In the end, I read a book for Hallie as, in the other room, Rob sang quietly to Thomas. The song broke my heart because it took me back to my childhood. Mama had sung to each of us. James, who shared my room, had said he was too old. Yet he’d never left the room as Mama enjoyed that nighttime ritual. I vowed to tell her how much that had meant to me the next time I saw her.
Hallie was asleep by the time I finished the story. Slowly, all day, she’d been less wary around me.
Finally, as I pulled her door closed, but not shut, I breathed a sigh of relief. I wanted her to like me. Rob had enough shit in his life. If he let me help—which was a big if—I needed the kids to be comfortable around me.
I made my way back to the kitchen and did the last of the cleaning up. Mama was going to be so happy to know how much everyone enjoyed her dinner. In fact, I decided to text her that moment. I shot off the text of gratitude.
Moments later, she said she was pleased and asked if I would be home that night or if I was going to LA.
That made me think. LA made more sense. I needed to pack up my dorm room and move my stuff to Whitney’s. Thank God I didn’t have much, so her storing it wouldn’t be a big deal.
I told Mama I’d head back to LA.
She admonished my decision—clearly thinking I should be home in her nest—but said she’d see me Christmas Eve. An entire two days from now.
After sending back an I love you text, I put my phone in my back pocket.
“Hey.” Rob appeared in the kitchen, offering a smile. “You didn’t have to clean up.”
I waved him off. “Of course I did. You think Mama wouldn’t lose her mind if her baby didn’t do everything in his power to make life easier for someone…”
“In need?” He wrapped his arms around himself.
“That wasn’t what I was going to say.” I stood a little taller.
Rob arched an eyebrow.
“The dishwasher should be turned on. I just didn’t know if it would bother the kids.”
He shook his head as he moved to the cupboard under the sink. He had some doohickey thing that ensured darling Thomas couldn’t get into the space. After pulling out the dishwasher soap, he loaded it into the dishwasher and set it to run. “Thomas can sleep through anything, and Hallie…” He put the soap back under the cupboard, breaking eye contact. When he straightened, having put the soap away, his eyes were bleak as they met mine. “She sleeps heavily at first. Then, often, the nightmares come.” He blinked. “Most nights she winds up in my room.”
His bed was a decent size, having been James’s—who was huge—but something about the crib, the bed, and three beings in that one small room felt overwhelming. Still… “They need you, Rob. I know you feel you have to be strong. It’s okay to falter with me, though, okay? I can hold you up when you need it.” What the fuck are you saying? You barely know this guy. This is so presumptuous.
Yet, as soon as the words were out, I didn’t regret them.
Especially because, slowly, he moved toward me. He held out his hand.
I took it.
“You’re very kind, Danny.” He offered a slightly crooked smile. “But you said we could talk about you. About this secret you’re holding in that’s about to burst out.”
As much as I wanted to keep the closeness and create a space for him to open up about his life, I didn’t have the qualifications to help him emotionally. I saw his pain. For all his stoicism, moments flitted by when his pain flickered across his face. Still, I did need to unburden. And maybe helping me would be the best thing for Rob, would even the scales a bit. Best for me, too. I’d told Whitney, obviously, but no one else. “Maybe we can sit?”
“Sure.” His gray eyes flashed compassion as he indicated we should make our way to the living room. If we were quiet, the kids wouldn’t hear.
To my surprise, he didn’t let go of my hand. Instead, he tugged me down next to him. He turned his body toward me, open in a way he’d never been before. Part of me acknowledged that level of trust. He had no reason to believe I wouldn’t hurt him. Yet he clearly did. And that warmed something inside me. I drew in a deep breath. “You know Colin’s sick.”
He nodded. “Everyone being protective of him was a pretty good clue…but he doesn’t look well. I take it that the situation’s serious.”
I winced. “Yeah. Close to critical. He needs a liver transplant. As soon as possible.” I let those words sink in.
“And James is donating…” He cocked his head. “You’re donating.”
“Yeah, I am. It’s complicated, but I’m donating to someone who needs a liver, and their friend is donating to Colin. Well, half a liver. And it’ll grow back. The risks are pretty minimal?—”
“But there are risks.” He gripped my hand. “All major surgery involves risk.”
“Pretty much.”
“When?”
“The first of January.”
He held my gaze. “What does your family think of this? Mama? James?” His eyes flashed. “Colin? They don’t know, do they? Because they’d try to talk you out of it? Hell, if I didn’t know you as well as I do, I’d try to talk you out of it.”
If I didn’t know you as well as I do… Did he know me that well? As I pondered the question, the answer of hell, yes came up. We’d spent little time in each other’s company, yet I felt like I knew him and I was certain he knew me. I was mostly an open book—I didn’t try to hide who I was. Except… I cleared my throat. “Colin would try to talk me out of it. The rest of the family would fuss and smother me. Plus, I’m also taking a semester off school. That’s not likely to go over well.”
“That makes sense.” Rob tilted his head. “But the transplant’s not the only reason, is it?”
“Nothing gets past you.”
“Lots get past me.” His voice held a tinge of bitterness. “Otherwise I would’ve seen the monster I married before we brought two kids into the mix.”
No one today had commented on his still-purple nose. Joe, Alec, and Kevin had been respectful. Plus, not everyone who had a broken nose had been hit. Things happened. People really did walk into walls and doors. That was a thing.
“We can all be deceived.”
He looked away.
“Rob.” Said quietly.
Slowly, after what felt like an eternity, he met my gaze again. I had to offer the truth as I saw it. “What’s going on?.”
“He didn’t touch the children.” Clearly, he needed me to understand.
Understanding dawned. I saw it in his eyes. “But he was about to. And that’s why you intervened.”
He blinked several times then, finally, nodded. “Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “But we were talking about you. When are you going to tell your family? Christmas is?—”
“Never, if I can avoid it.”
“Danny.” His chastisement was clear.
“Why? Why do I have to tell them? Colin’s going to get his new liver. I’ll stay with Whitney until I’m better.”
“And tell your parents what, exactly? Don’t you visit them regularly? And won’t they notice if you’re not in school?”
“I, uh, plan to lay low until I’m feeling a bit better. Then tell them.”
Rob barked out a laugh. “And you think your parents aren’t going to notice you’re not in school?”
“Hey. You sound like you know my family.” Because yeah, if they thought I was in trouble they would totally do that.
He arched that damn eyebrow again.
“Well…by then it’ll be too late. Colin will have his liver. I’ll recover. I’ll go back to school for the spring semester, and everything will be as it’s supposed to be.”
“That sounds awfully neat and tidy.”
I shrugged.
Still, he held my hand. “I might be na?ve about a lot of things. I might not have seen much of the world.”
“Okay…”
“But I’ve learned that things rarely go as planned.”
I gulped.
Rob offered the couch that night, but I really did need to get back to LA. I resisted the urge to hug him goodnight. I waved goodbye and headed my car north.
Have I just made a big mistake or is saving Colin’s life worth it?