Chapter Four
Raven
“You’re going down!”
I pound on my controller buttons as the guy next to me continues to shout words he thinks will throw me off my game. His monkey character is far ahead of mine—way, way too far—but if he thinks I’m going to give up without a fight, he has another thing coming.
“You’re going down,” I say through clenched teeth as I tilt my controller to the side and press hard on a button, causing my adorable monkey with a pink bow on her head to sprint forward.
The rec room is pretty full today, even though it’s a school night and not the weekend.
Most kids wouldn’t choose the rec room as a place to hang out because it’s “not cool” or whatever, but it’s snowing outside and they’re probably bored out of their minds.
They’re playing the arcade games or pool or foosball, and some are complaining that my opponent and I are hogging the Xbox all to ourselves.
But do I care? Nope. I love video games and play to unwind and because it warms my soul.
“She’s gaining on you, Richie!” a boy sitting on the sofa armrest sputters like it’s the biggest crime in the world.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got this.”
I can’t see him because my focus is on the TV screen, but I feel him press his lips together and narrow his eyes as he concentrates hard. I want to tell him to calm down because he might burst a blood vessel, but I don’t want anything to cost me this win. I’m so close to beating his butt—
“Yeah!” Richie throws his controller on the sofa and jumps on top of it. “I win! I win! You lose!”
Some of the other kids cheer along with him, making him grin so widely I swear his face might split in half.
Richie is a scholarship student, too, but unlike my friends and me, he desperately wants to fit in with the rest of the students.
Sophie tried getting to know him better a few weeks ago, but he turned out to be just as rude as the rest of them.
Don’t ask me why I agreed to play against him.
I’m about to hold out my hand and say, “Good game,” but he punches the air and says, “See, what did I tell you, guys? You think this girl could beat me?” He snorts and then grins at me. “I have to admit, you do play good for a girl. You grew up with a lot of brothers?”
I can literally feel the steam shooting out of my ears. He said it. The three words that trigger me so bad. You play well for a girl. For. A. Girl. As if we live in the freakin’ 1980s.
“First of all, learn grammar,” I snap at him. “It’s play well, not good. And second of all, no, I don’t have brothers. I have a little sister. And I certainly can whip your butt in another game.”
His eyes widen for a moment, totally thrown off by my words, but then he snickers to the guys he’s desperate to impress and says, “Ooh, I think I ticked her off.”
“Did the little girl get upset because the boys aren’t playing nice with her?” another one says before hollering.
I ignore him as I narrow my eyes at Richie. “Rematch. Right now.” I snatch his controller off the sofa and slam it into his hands. “Choose your character. And we’re playing on Death Mode.” Which is the hardest mode you can play on.
He stares at me for a moment before chuckling. “Death Mode? Piece of cake, girl.”
Many kids watch us as we start the game. I once again choose the monkey with the pink bow—the only female character in the game because the developers are idiots—and we race toward the end of the level, grabbing as many bananas as we can for an added bonus.
My gaze is pasted on the screen as I concentrate super hard on the game.
I feel like I’m carrying the weight of every female gamer out there.
I know it doesn’t matter what these stupid boys think—for me, gaming is all about having fun and not for the competition or trying to prove anything to anyone—but I’m one of the only girls who’s an avid gamer at this school.
I’ve got to take this one home for the girls.
When we’re about halfway through the level, I realize that I’m slightly ahead of Richie, and I even have more bananas than him.
My heart shoots to my throat and my controller is wet from my sweaty palms, but I need to just focus on getting my little monkey to the finish line as fast as possible.
All of the guys who are watching the game are rooting for Richie, of course.
I try not to let it get to me, but it kind of sucks not to have anyone cheer me on.
My friends would have hung out with me, but they’re spending time with their boyfriends. Which I’m completely cool with.
I’m just about to reach the end, and I’m still ahead of Richie! My heart hammers so strongly that I think it might burst through my chest. Just a little bit longer and I’ll prove once and for all that girls can very well whoop the boys’ butts—
At the last second, the burly-chested monkey zooms forward and reaches the end of the level, with my monkey literally a second behind.
“No,” I whisper, my hands frozen over my controller.
“Yeah!” The guys cheer and whoop like Richie just won a billion dollars.
“What did I say?” Richie gives me this cocky grin as he rolls his eyes. “Boys always beat girls. But good effort.” He pats the top of my head before guffawing and getting up from the sofa, the guys following behind and continuing to howl with laughter.
I dump my controller on the sofa as I throw my arms over my chest, glaring at the floor. I was so close. So darn close.
Ugh, why does it matter? Like I said before, I don’t need to prove anything to those jerks.
But it still stings.
“Are you done with the Xbox?” a voice asks.
I turn my head to the left and find Beckham standing there with his hand outstretched toward my controller. Leo stands behind him with Jasper…and Kylen.
Ice enters my bloodstream. Were he and his friends here the whole time? Did he see my epic fail?
Again, why do I care?
“You were a beast, Raven,” Kylen says with that sweet smile that used to melt my heart. “I remember how amazing you were at video games. Looks like you’ve still got it.”
“Clearly not.” I tear my gaze away from him and continue glaring at the floor, still not sure why I’m so upset about this whole thing.
“He cheated, though.”
My face snaps to his. “What?”
“Well, I guess it’s not exactly a cheat.” He lowers himself next to me, so close that his thigh brushes against mine. Once again, my heart rate spikes and my breathing is constricted. How is he sitting next to me right now? After how awkward things were at lunch today…
“There’s a combo you can do to give yourself a temporary boost,” he explains as he picks up Richie’s controller and loads a new level.
“When you have exactly a hundred bananas, you press these two buttons, see?” He shows me.
“But it only works if you have exactly one hundred bananas. That’s why he made sure not to go over a hundred. ”
I gape at the screen. “How did I not know this?”
“You can turn off the boosts to make it more fair. The guy was a jerk for not telling you. Everyone knows you’re supposed to turn it off when you play PvP.
” He disables the boosts and then gives me a shy smile that makes him look so cute my heart aches.
“You want to play against Beck and me? Jasper’s a pro at this. ”
He winks. “I’ve got you, partner.”
Leo frowns. “I guess I’ll go check out the pinball machine.” He walks off.
The pit in my stomach weighs heavily. The way Kylen is talking to me right now, it brings me back to all those days we spent together at camp, especially when we were all alone and had so much fun playing video games and talking about…well, everything.
It takes all I have to keep the tears at bay as I yank my gaze away from his. If he can talk to me so freely without feeling anything, it’s obvious what we shared at camp meant nothing to him.
“Raven?” he asks.
I shut my eyes for a second before forcing them open and glancing at him. “Sure. Two versus two sounds fun.”
“Score!” Jasper rushes to grab two more controllers before plopping down next to me. “Ready to dominate, Rave?” He holds out his hand for a fist bump.
“If you never call me ‘Rave’ again,” I say as I bump his fist.
He laughs. “As you wish.”
Even though there are only three of us on the sofa—Beckham is sitting on the armrest—it feels like we’re squished together.
Actually, it feels as though I’m squished with Kylen.
But I know it’s all in my head because there’s still plenty enough room between us, even though his thigh touches mine every so often.
I also feel his body heat leaping off of him.
And his shampoo or soap makes him smell so darn good.
“The girl monkey is mine,” I say as the character selection loads. I choose her before any of them can object.
“Aw, that’s a shame,” Beck says. “Kylen always chooses the girl monkey.”
“He’s just messing with me,” Kylen says.
“Why? She’s got tiny muscles just like you. Squishy boy.” He squeezes Kylen’s arm.
Kylen flicks his hand away. “She may not have as many muscles as your guy.” He nods to the monkey with the largest chest. “But she’s got agility and more wits than all of the rest of the monkeys combined. Isn’t that right, Raven?” He offers me another one of those sweet smiles.
My throat grows dry. I stare at the screen as I mutter, “Yep.”
“Let’s start!” Jasper whines.
We begin the level. It’s so chaotic because there are four monkeys running and jumping around on the screen.
I’ve never played with more than two players before, so it takes a few seconds to get used to this.
The guys seem totally cool with it. I guess the four of them play video games with each other all the time.
“Sorry I took Leo’s spot,” I tell them.
“What do you mean?” Beck asks.
“Don’t the four of you play together? Many games have up to four players in multiplayer.”
“Meh,” Jasper says, sticking out his tongue a drop as he concentrates on the game. “He’s used to it, since he was replaced with Carrie basically all last year.”
My heart drops to my toes. “Carrie?” Is that Kylen’s girlfriend?
“My sister,” Jasper tells me. “Twelve years old and a pro already. She plays professionally and wins tons of money.”
“Really? That’s cool. She should show the boys at this school.”
“She wouldn’t step foot in this place,” Kylen says with a laugh.
That laugh. Why does it still stir something inside me?
“Almost at the finish line, Rave!” Jasper says. “We can do it!”
“What did I say about calling me ‘Rave?’” I demand as I press hard on my buttons.
“You know you love it.”
“I know I don’t.”
He chuckles as he focuses on the game. Just a little bit longer and—
“Heck, yeah!” He holds out his hand for a high-five, and I give it to him. “Rave and I are dynamite.”
“Call me ‘Rave’ one more time, Jasper, and I swear I’ll—”
“Yo, Jas!” Leo calls from the foosball machine. “Game’s free. You in?”
“Heck, yeah!” He throws me a smile. “Later, Rave.” And he dashes away before I can say anything.
“Does the guy have a death wish?” I grumble.
Beck pats my arm. “It happens to the best of us. Unfortunately, you’ve been Jaspered.”
“Jaspered?”
“It means Jasper likes you,” Kylen tells me. “He only annoys people that he likes.” His eyes widen. “I m-mean, not like you like that. I only meant he thinks you’re cool.”
My face flushes for some reason. Maybe because Kylen and I are talking about someone liking me? “Oh, um, that’s good to know,” I mutter.
The sofa grows quiet.
Beck frowns. “Why did things get so weird all of a sudden?”
“I should get going,” I say as I stand. “I still have some homework to do.”
“Lame,” Beck says.
Kylen gives him a look. “Some of us think it’s important to do their homework.” His gaze moves to me. “Beck had a double economics class today and has a quiz tomorrow. Ask him if he’s going to study.”
“Are you going to study?” I ask.
“Absolutely not,” he says. “I plan to have my good bud Ky here give me a crash course first thing in the morning.” He messes up Kylen’s hair. “Darn, man. How do you have such thick hair?”
I get a flashback to when I touched his hair for the first time and marveled at how soft it was.
I quickly shove the memory away.
“I’ll see you guys around,” I tell them. “Good night.”
“‘Night,” Beck wishes.
“Good night, Raven,” Kylen says.
I nod to them before heading to the exit of the room. Just as I pass through the doorway, Kylen calls, “Raven?”
I turn around and find that he’s right behind me.
“Hey,” he says with a nervous smile. “I was hoping we could talk?”
It takes all I have not to flee. No, I don’t want to talk to you, Kylen Barrett. What I really wanted from the moment I saw you walk into the auditorium was to pretend you don’t exist. But you had to ruin everything by saying hi.
“Uh…okay,” I say.
He smiles again, still nervously. “Thanks.” He clears his throat as he averts his gaze to the floor. “What happened at camp…” He slowly raises his eyes to me. “You and I. It was…”
“Silly.” The word bursts out of my mouth before I can stop it.
His brows fly up. “What? I mean, y-yeah, it was silly…”
“We were just stupid kids,” I continue, no idea why these words continue to shoot out of my mouth.
“Yeah, totally,” he says. “Stupid kids. What did we know about…?” He clears his throat. “I’m glad we feel the same way because…well, I was hoping we could be friends.”
I look into those green eyes, eyes that are always so full of life and enthusiasm.
Then my eyes lower to his mouth that is always smiling in that crooked or sweet way that causes so many emotions to pass through my body.
He wants to be friends? Friends. Does he really think we can be buddies after everything we’ve been through?
Every time he’s near me, I’m brought back to that summer.
After trying so hard to get over it and put it behind me and move on with my life, he decided to drop in at my school and drag everything back to the surface.
If he got over everything so easily and thinks we can actually be friends, it almost makes everything I went through so not worth it.
“I don’t want to be friends,” I say.
His mouth falls open as he stares at me in shock. Then he seems to gather himself. “Oh…that’s cool. I get it.”
He looks like he doesn’t get it at all. A part of me wants to explain because he looks really hurt, and that kills me. But I don’t owe him anything, not after the way he treated me.
“I wish you lots of luck here,” I say with a forced smile. “I’m sure you’ll do great.”
I turn around and walk away.
As I make my way to the dorms, I can’t help but kick myself.
Why did I blurt that what happened between us at camp was silly?
What if there was a chance he was trying to…
I don’t know, apologize for what happened?
Maybe he was trying to figure out if I still felt anything for him?
No, that’s silly. I know he didn’t feel the same way for me as I did for him.
Then why do I feel like I just messed up royally?