Thirty-Two
I hated lying to her, but yeah, it hadn’t just been a few hours. I’d woken in the night with the headache, and didn’t want to disturb her, but it was getting worse, and the way I felt like I was vibrating from inside? Yeah, that was horrible. I think I missed some of this shit last time around. Maybe I shouldn’t have cursed them for making me sleep through it. I almost wished I could do that again this time.
“I’ll make us something to eat, maybe that’ll help.” Lissa pushed up from the sofa and started fussing around the kitchen, while I held a hand over my roiling stomach and wondered if the nausea would pass and let me eat. Jesus. No wonder people didn’t bother getting clean. It fucking sucked, and this was my fault. I was going through this again because I fucked up. Again .
I checked my phone when it pinged, noting that Has-Been had already been to the clinic and collected Lissa’s stuff, which he had left in my room for us like it was a done deal that she was coming back there with me, and maybe it was. Why weren’t we there yet? Oh right… no fucking wheels.
I thanked him, but the phone rang almost instantly and I groaned, but answered.
“Thanks, man.”
“So that bitch who runs the place? What a first class cunt.”
I raised my eyebrows, surprised to hear him use that word in relation to a woman. He was pretty respectful of them most times, well, until they posted his sex videos online. Shit. I should still be monitoring for those. I rubbed at my forehead as pain throbbed in time with my heartbeat.
“Did she give you any trouble?”
He laughed. “She tried, but I put her in her place. Wouldn’t be surprised if Reacher gets a call though. Oh, and some bird called Cammy was asking after Lissa. She seemed nice enough though.” Cammy . I’d seen a text come up from her on Lissa’s phone. Thank god it was a woman.
“I’ll let her know.”
“She okay?”
It shouldn’t bother me that he cared, right? I swallowed down the surge of jealousy, before I fucked up this brief accord we had going on.
“Yeah man, she’s good. Well, she was upset, but she’s gonna be fine. Uh… we’ll probably come back at some point. I already told Reacher.”
He snorted. “I bet that was a fun conversation. You gonna need me and the van?”
I wasn’t used to feeling grateful to him, but yeah, there it was.
“Thanks man. Okay if we text when we’re ready?”
“Yeah. Say hi to Lissa for me.”
“Whatever.” I went to look for her in the kitchen after that call, because I felt strangely fucking possessive after talking to him. He was a little too invested in my relationship with my old lady and it bothered me, even as I knew I needed him, and that he’d really been there for her while I couldn’t.
“Whatcha making?” I leaned over Lissa’s shoulder as she fussed with something. She jumped out of her skin, and elbowed me in the stomach, which wasn’t exactly the welcome I’d hoped for.
“Jesus, woman.” I rubbed at my stomach, while she raised her eyebrows at me.
“You can’t just sneak up on a person like that! I’m used to being alone, remember?”
“You forgot I was just in there? Already? Might wanna get that looked at.”
She was giggling as she plated up two breakfast sandwiches. She’d fried up bacon and eggs, and hell… mushrooms too? All in a toasted sandwich. Fucking awesome.
“If I wasn’t already in love with you, this sandwich would be all it’d take.”
I took a huge bite, and groaned as flavours burst in my mouth. God yes, and then God no. My stomach roiled and surged, as I forced myself to swallow. I set the sandwich back down, and groaned, my hand covering my stomach.
“Jesus.”
“You okay?”
“This isn’t a reflection on your cooking, babe, it really fucking isn’t. I just don’t think I can eat that, not right now.”
“Nausea is a common symptom of-”
“I know.” I didn’t mean to snap, but I was pissed as hell. I wanted that fucking food, and I knew I needed it.
“It’s my fault. I should have made something simpler. Something less fatty. Let me get you-”
“Enjoy your food, babe. I’m just gonna sit for a minute.” It took a few minutes, but my stomach seemed to settle, so I took another tentative bite, and then another, and suddenly I was all fine again. And happy as fuck that I didn’t have to waste the food she’d cooked for me. She fucking cooked for me. Like I was her man. Like I am. I fucking am.
But this was something I’d never had with a woman, because I used to just shag around, and then when I got, yeah ‘addicted’, I didn’t even want to, most of the time, if my dick even showed any interest.
Apart from Jessica at the clinic, back when I was getting those rape drugs for Ryder, yeah… I hadn’t been with anyone in longer than I’d ever admit. She’d been fun, and the sex was, yeah, good, but nothing like it was with us. It was like no other woman fucking existed now. Not for me.
Lissa
H e was fine for maybe an hour, and then he cursed and disappeared up to the bathroom. I felt so guilty. Why didn’t I prepare something gentler on his stomach? I knew he was suffering withdrawal symptoms. I felt like such an idiot.
“Maybe we should try and get to see a doctor,” I suggested when he returned, looking a little pale.
“We’ve got one at the clubhouse. He might be able to give me something.”
And that was all it took for me to suggest that we arrange to return to his clubhouse, for at least the day and night, assuming that Reacher would even allow me in.
It took less than an hour for us to gather up some of my things, and for a knock on the door. I let Has-Been in for a minute, to start picking up my things, while Ice was in the bathroom again.
“He okay?”
I shook my head, my hands twisting together in agitation.
“Withdrawal. He’s suffering.”
He cursed. “Doc’ll fix him up, don’t worry. I’ll go load your bags. Tell him to take his time.” He was so nice. I was determined to get to the bottom of their rivalry, because they seemed like they really should get on better.
“You’re a good man, Has-Been.”
He shrugged, his cheeks colouring slightly.
“It’s family, innit.”
Ice returned while he was outside, walking slowly and looking pale and clammy.
“Sorry about this, babe.”
He glanced around for my bags, and I nodded at the door.
“He’s loading them now. Let me get you some water before we go.”
He shook his head. “I’d rather just get there. I feel kinda shit right now, and you know he’s gonna be all ‘it’s your own fault’ and ‘suck it up, buttercup’.”
I hoped his doctor was a little less self-righteous, and uncaring than all that.
“Surely not.”
T wenty minutes later, he proved Ice right, and that protective side of me returned with a vengeance.
“Hey, don’t lecture him like that!”
The club doc smirked. “Feisty one, your lady. Hey… are you the therapist who got banned from the club?” My cheeks burned with shame. Yikes.
Everyone knew what a disaster I was, and that I’d deserved to get fired. Who the hell did I think I was, trying to help other people with their lives, when mine was completely destroyed?