Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Levi was on his side of the bed and I was on mine when we fell asleep.
What I hadn’t known was we wouldn’t wake up that way.
As consciousness slowly roused me, I realized that there was a comfortable weighted blanket on me, one that was a little too good to be an inanimate object.
His arm was around my waist, holding me tightly to his chest. I wanted to be horrified or embarrassed, but the only thing on my mind was what I thought of last night as I touched myself.
I liked him. That much was for sure—and liking someone made me way hornier for them. I tried to push it out of my mind, but I was already seeing memories of the way his hair curled against his neck, the way his jaw clenched when he was thinking hard about something.
The way he smelled .
And the third thing was very much a problem because I was surrounded by it while in bed with him, and, God, was I horny.
Who knew getting married and being given everything you wanted would cause that? I sure as fuck didn’t.
But I told myself the night before that nothing good could come from sleeping with the man who only wanted me to enact revenge on my brother.
However, when I woke up, it was impossible to think that way.
Levi was everywhere . His torso was behind mine. Every inch of him was pressed against me.
And he was hard. Because of fucking course he was.
The second I felt it, I knew there was no way I was getting out of this with my pride intact.
I could feel every inch of him at this angle, and I knew right where I wanted him. My mind knew this was a bad idea, but my body had no such reservations.
Levi took in a deep breath. His hand trailed circles onto my stomach.
I was on fire. I knew I should move away, especially since he was waking up. I needed to get out of bed and put a healthy distance between the two of us.
But I could feel him. All of him. And it was way better than my fantasy had been.
I swallowed and slowly turned. Levi’s hand stilled, and I wondered if he was as shocked as I was. I might have propositioned him last night, but I was sure we’d put that to bed.
And now it was morning.
“Are you awake?” I asked.
“Yes. I can?—”
“Don’t move,” I ordered.
“But—”
“Please.” I was begging, and I didn’t feel ashamed. “I need you to touch me.”
“Because you want to pay me back?”
“Because I need you to. Levi, I can’t .”
His eyes grew dark and his hand felt steadier on my hip. “Didn’t get it out of your system?”
“W-what?”
“Last night. When you came and said my name. Was it not enough?”
My breath stuttered. “You heard that?”
“I did, and it was so fucking hot.”
“More like embarrassing. I’m so sorr?—”
“Don’t apologize.” His voice was harder now, as was his grip on me. “Just let me give you the real thing and give me the chance to prove how good it can be.”
Yep. That was all I needed to hear. “Y-yes, please .”
His arms tightened and his cock rubbed against me again. I let out a broken gasp. “Do you like that, darling?”
I nodded, mind fully on all of the things he could do to me in this bed. And I’d let him do it all.
“Let me touch you,” he said. “You came on your hand. Let’s make it even.”
“Wouldn’t it be even if you’re the one who gets my hand?”
His lips ghosted over the shell of my ear. “I haven’t had the pleasure of hearing every sound you make up close. I want that first.”
“A-and if we do this, we won’t make it weird?”
“No. We’ll be perfectly normal. Better than that, even.”
“Okay.” I gasped as he pressed into my ass again. “Now, please touch me.”
“That’s what I was hoping you would say.” His hand went under the band of my pajamas. “You should have worn the pajamas you had on our wedding night. The see-through ones.”
“I thought it would be a problem if I did.”
“That sight is never a problem. Only what I might do when I see you in them is.”
His hand found my core, crushing against the wetness that was only for him. I gasped, my eyes fluttering shut, and leaned into him. His lips latched onto my neck, and my hands tangled through his dark hair, needing something to grab on to as he touched me.
Levi made leisurely movements, gently tracing my clit. It had been too long since someone else had touched me there, and my body sang for him.
In the depths of the night, I always wondered what it would have been like to sleep with him. At first, I told myself he would have been a selfish lover, only caring about himself. And I thought I was right, judging by how the night of our first kiss had gone.
But now I knew that I had been wrong. Without a shadow of a doubt. Pleasure curled into my nerves, making me arch into him as it built up.
“The noises you’re making,” he growled in my ear, “they’re gonna drive me to an early grave.”
“I-I can quiet down.”
His teeth sunk into my neck, a warning. “Don’t you fucking dare. You can drive me to that grave. Or to insanity. As long as I get this .”
He punctuated his sentence with a press of his finger into my pussy, and I couldn’t help but mewl.
“Fuck, do that again.”
“Gladly.”
His strokes changed. He traced a line from my clit down to my entrance, pressing in each time. I opened my legs for him, whining when his teeth found my neck again. My hips jerked, barreling me toward an orgasm that was going to change my life.
“ Levi ,” I gasped. “Yes.”
He kept up the torture, and my eyes closed as everything in me turned into white-hot pleasure. It filled my every cell, made my jaw hit the floor.
And quite possibly destroyed me.
I came down from my impossible high, still panting from the climb. I rolled to my back and Levi wasted no time capturing my lips with his.
But I wasn’t done. I could still feel the memory of his cock pressing into my ass, and I knew without a doubt that it was his turn.
I was good at making guys come, too good at it. In my one-night stands, I usually got him off before he even tried with me, and once they were spent, I was an afterthought.
But Levi had taken care of me first, and I was going to make him feel as good as I had just seconds ago.
“Stand up,” I said as I pulled away.
“But—”
“You’re not giving me an orgasm like that without some reciprocation.”
“I felt good making you feel good.”
“I’m sure you did, but now it’s time to be a good boy and do what I say.”
“And what’s that?”
“Stand the fuck up.”
His eyes widened, but he did as I instructed.
I pulled my hair into a ponytail and sunk to my knees in front of him.
His arousal was visible from the outside of his sweatpants, and I wasted no time taking it into my grip.
“Amy, you don’t?—”
“Sh, I’m enjoying myself.” I dragged down his pants, mouth watering when I saw my prize spring to life in front of me.
“But—”
“What happened to doing what I said? You’ll have to remember it, because my mouth is about to be very busy.”
Levi’s eyes were intense on me. I waited a moment just in case this wasn’t what he wanted before I covered the head of his cock with my mouth. He let out a rough groan, his hands coming to my head.
I worked the entire length of it, letting it hit the back of my throat.
“You’re impossible, Amy.”
What was impossible was how good this felt, even with just his fingers holding onto my ponytail. I loved sex, yet I hadn’t enjoyed it like I was with him.
I listened to every one of his groans and moans as I sucked. His hands tightened on my head with every second that passed.
“I need to fuck your face,” he said. “Please tell me I can.”
I looked up, smiling around his thickness in my mouth, and nodded.
Levi lost all control. He slammed into me, letting loose as he pumped every last inch of his cock into my mouth. I loved the roughness, and I wondered what his hardness would feel like pounding into my pussy instead of my mouth.
It would be world-ending, just like my first orgasm was.
He sped up, and every muscle in my body tightened in anticipation for him to come. The first jet of it landed in the back of my throat, but then he pulled out, spilling the rest on my chest and on the top of my shirt.
Glad I brought an extra.
“That was ...” He was still out of breath, but I interrupted.
“Next time, I swallow.”
“But then I can’t see my come all over you,” he said. “And that’s a sight worth seeing.”
I looked down, and it was hot. “Still. You wasted my breakfast.”
“After what you just did? You can get breakfast anywhere. No matter the price.”
“I plan on taking you up on that. And then after, I want to hike up a mountain. Think you can handle that?”
“I can more than handle anything you throw at me.” In contrast to his words, he flopped on the bed. “I’ll just need a minute.”
Levi did, in fact, order what I wanted for breakfast, and after eating far too many of the greatest flapjacks Gatlinburg offered, we went to a hiking trail in the mountains. The second the sky was obscured with trees, I felt at home.
I loved my walks through the neighborhood, but I didn’t realize how much I needed a new setting. Sure, there were trees in the city, but the majority of them had been chopped down over the years, slowly changing the sight lines of the neighborhood.
“It’s a perfect day for a hike,” I said. The air was cool and clear, and though there wasn’t a lot of leaf color, evergreen trees surrounded us.
“The sign says there’s a one mile or a four mile.”
“I’m going on the four mile,” I replied. “But if you can’t go that long, then I won’t judge.”
“I can go plenty long,” he replied. “You’ve seen that yourself.”
“Dick health isn’t connected to leg stamina,” I said with a shrug. “Let’s see if you can keep up with me.”
The trail was covered with roots and rocks, some of which we had to climb on. I had the time of my life and felt challenged in a way walking on the side of the road never could. I was a kid on a playground again. But instead of metal and plastic below my feet, it was all the earth itself.
Levi kept up with me easily, seemingly never out of breath. A few times he offered a hand to help me get up and down trickier spots, which I accepted gratefully.
It was just us out here, and I found that I really liked it.
That was the thing with Levi. When we weren’t talking about Calvin, things were great. He seemed like the kind of man I’d be very interested in if things were different. We were compatible in all of the ways, sex included, apparently.
But like everyone else in my life, he’d met my brother first, and that was all that mattered.
Sometimes Calvin being the favorite wore me down, and my walks were the way to process that. Levi seemed quiet, only telling me where to go and what roots to watch out for, so I had time to think about all the ways I hated my lot in life.
I stayed positive on the outside simply because there was nothing I could do to change the fact that people liked my brother more than me.
Inside, I let myself feel everything. Even the worst parts of it.
When Levi offered me help for a particularly tall rock, I took it, but he didn’t let go.
“You got quiet.”
“I get introspective on walks sometimes.”
“Anything you wanna share?”
I didn’t want to talk about Calvin and ruin this moment, but I also knew I couldn’t lie. “Sometimes it feels like I got the short end of the stick with life.”
His lips pursed. “Not anymore, darling. I promise you, things are gonna change.”
Not for forever. The reminder bounced in my head but wouldn’t leave my lips. If I said it out loud, it made it all the more real.
“We should be near the top,” I said instead. “That’ll put me in a better mood.”
“Then come on.” He didn’t let go of my hand and stayed next to me as we finished the climb.
My eyes widened as I saw vast, open land dotted with fluffy white clouds and tall mountains. Even in the winter, evergreen trees made the landscape beautiful.
“Wow,” was the only thing I could mutter.
“Smile,” Levi said. I turned to him and realized he was taking a photo with his phone.
“Hey, at least let me fix my hair.”
“Why would you cover something so beautiful?”
My hands, which were trying in vain to tame my curls, stilled. “They’re a mess.”
“And they’re still beautiful.”
My cheeks heated and I could only stare, unable to process him being too kind about something that I’d been told made me look bad ever since I was a kid.
Silence stretched over us, and eventually, he broke it.
“Besides, we need photos. Candid ones. Isra will ask.”
Now that made sense. “Right. Okay. Take all the ones you need. Just try not to make me look ugly.”
“I’m pretty sure that would be impossible.”
He snapped a few more of me, us, and the skyline before we made the trek back down and headed to get lunch. I eventually had to excuse myself to the bathroom, and when I came out, I saw him scrolling through messages. A lot of messages.
“You reading through all of your conversations with your secret woman?” I teased as I sat.
He set his phone face down and sat up straighter.
“No. There’s nothing.”
I jerked back, all thoughts of teasing gone. That was a very telling reaction.
What I didn’t know was what it meant. It could have been innocent—just something he didn’t want me to see. Or it could be that he was talking to someone else.
I knew I was not the person he spent his nights with before. But I also trusted that he wouldn’t cheat. Whatever he had before me was put on hold for the time being, and both of us knew it.
I wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to do this, that he could keep whoever this person was as long as it didn’t blow our cover.
But was that what I wanted?
We’d gotten physical, and while it didn’t mean anything, it was something more than I expected. Could I live with myself if I wanted more and he was with someone else at the same time? Or would I make myself suffer even more than I already was?
“I ... It’s not what you think.”
“Does it affect the marriage?”
“It won’t.”
I could see the ghost of Gram telling me this was how men were. She’d gone through this time and time again.
This was my reminder—one that I desperately needed.
“Then I’ll pretend I didn’t see it.”
“Amy,” he began, “I promise ?—”
“You don’t have to promise anything.”
It was better if he didn’t.
I wouldn’t get let down that way.
My eyes finally met his and I saw the look.
Guilt.
It would have gutted me had I not known Gram.
“ The first time I got my heart broken, he told me he regretted it the second he did it. He felt terrible. He looked terrible. And that’s real life, Amy. People do bad things and they feel bad about them. But it doesn’t make what they did right. ”
Levi hadn’t cheated on me, but there was something else going on.
And whatever it was needed to be the thing that prevented me from falling for him.
“Let’s finish up here,” I said. “There’s a drive-up vista point that I want to see, and then I need to sit in hot water to recover from that hike.”
“You want another bath?”
Yeah, right. I wasn’t letting last night happen again.
“No, a shower this time. I need to wash away all of the dirt and grime of the day.”
And maybe I could wash away the feeling of regret too.