6. Sai
CHAPTER 6
Sai
“You know you didn’t have to come with me,” Tian says with a chuckle.
We’re walking around Russell Square—the actual small square park, not just the general area. The grass is a surprisingly lush green underneath the swathes of orange and brown leaves that have fallen from the now bare trees. Through the crooked branches, various buildings the same colour as the leaves loom over us, several stories high.
Night has basically fallen, but the park is illuminated by the usual lampposts and the outdoor lighting incorporated into the architecture. Several Christmas trees have also been set up for the season as well as a charming archway of fairy lights that I’m walking Tian under.
He grins up at me and I’m aware that I’m being overprotective, but I can’t help it. I sigh and reach out to squeeze his hand through both our gloves.
“I know I didn’t have to come, but you’re my baby boy.”
“And I love that,” he assures me. “However, you didn’t have to meet me after work all the way from Clapham. I could have made it to Evan’s place by myself.”
“It gave me an excuse to leave the house,” I insist.
As an architect, I have the luxury of working remotely from home most of the time. Sometimes I only get out to walk Bow, and actually do benefit from having an excuse to put real clothes on instead of jogging bottoms and an old T-shirt. Meeting Tian at Goodge Street station meant I didn’t even have to change Tube lines, and now we can enjoy a nice twenty-minute stroll together.
Of course, he immediately calls me on my bullshit.
“I know we like to pretend I’m five years old,” he teases. “But I am, in fact, twenty-five.”
“And I will fret over you until I’m a hundred and five,” I assure him with a wink.
He’s quiet for a few moments as we walk along. We’re about halfway to the address that Evan gave us, so I don’t push him to say what he’s thinking as we’ve still got some time.
“Are you worried about me?” he asks eventually.
I consider my words before speaking. “I know you’re perfectly capable of taking care of yourself and making good choices,” I say truthfully. “And I know you’ve been clear with yourself, Jude and I, and Evan about your expectations for this evening.”
“But?” Tian prompts playfully, making me smile.
He knows me too well. “But I know you’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what it means for you to be interested in someone that isn’t me or Jude. I wanted to show you that I support you a thousand percent, even if this date is just some innocent Daddy/little time.” I glance at him and grin. “Although if things change and you decide you want the very handsome older Daddy to fuck you silly, that’s absolutely fine, too. We’ll just want to hear all the juicy details afterwards, okay?”
He blushes under his hat and scarf, but he doesn’t look uncomfortable. “I know, Daddy,” he says softly.
It gives me such a thrill when he says that out in public, even after all this time. Jude has been my everything since the day we met. But Tian and I have a different dynamic, and it brings me so much joy.
Jude was annoyed he couldn’t be here to escort Tian as well, but he’s on a dayshift so won’t get home until around eight o’clock. I do, however, fully intend on finding a way of making it up to him that he had to miss out before we come back and pick Tian up at ten.
My baby boy is right, and there’s nothing stopping him making that very simple journey alone. But as this is an evening where he specifically wants to regress, I thought accompanying him would help him get into little headspace before he arrives. Little boys don’t get the Tube alone, after all.
But in truth, I know that Jude and I both want to make sure this man who upset our baby last week is actually worth his time and affection now. Plus, looking at his address, I know Jude wants to have a snoop around his house as much as I do. It looks fancy.
I sense that Tian is still worrying about things, so I swing our joined arms and smile brightly at him, letting my playful Daddy side come to the surface. “Is my Baby Tee excited to make a new friend?” I ask in a sing-song voice. “Have you packed your favourite toys to show him?”
Tian beams at me and I can practically see the tension fading from his body. He shakes the duffle bag he’s got slung over his shoulder. “I didn’t know what Daddy Evan would have as he said he’s out of practice, so I’ve brought all sorts!” he declares proudly. “Toys and books and comfy clothes I can change into and even my special plate, and spoon, and beaky.”
‘Beaky’ is what he calls the bamboo beaker that’s part of his train themed kids set. Evan said he’d make dinner for them both, so I’m glad Tian thought to pack his age-appropriate crockery and cutlery if he wants an evening of being his lovely little self.
Despite all my protests otherwise, I do feel a flash of worry that this man is going to treat Tian properly. I know that he’s had some issues, and Tian wants to help him get back into Daddying. But if he makes my boy feel stupid or vulnerable, I won’t be impressed. I feel like I’m handing over my most prized possession.
When Jude hooks up with someone else, I never worry unnecessarily, because that cheeky brat can defend himself all day long. But Tian is so sweet and gentle. When Jude and I first met him, I would have even gone so far as to call him fragile. He’s come a long way since then, but still, he’s mine to protect and this other man better respect what an extraordinary gift he’s being given.
We’re walking down Evan Zegler’s street now. It’s long and wide compared to so many other roads in central London. The terraced townhouses are all five stories high including the basement levels hidden behind individual black wrought iron fencing. Every few metres stand trees as tall as the buildings themselves. They’re bare like the ones in Russell Square, but in spring and summer they look like they’ll give a lot of leafy shade.
It’s quiet and I see numerous other people walking purposefully along, possibly heading home after a day at work. I wonder what it might be like to live in an area like this. Would the neighbours be friendly or terrible snobs? In typical London fashion, we don’t know another soul in our apartment complex aside from our neighbour, Mrs Havisham, who sometimes looks in on Bow for us. Is it the same here?
A lot of the houses have Christmas decorations and fairy lights outside, but as we near the number Evan told us, it’s quickly apparent that his place is dark and a little uninviting. I try not to judge. Some people keep their festivities indoors for various reasons and he might currently be towards the back of the house, leaving the front gloomy.
Still…I do feel Tian slow down next to me. I wouldn’t blame him if he was feeling a little trepidation. At first glance, Evan hasn’t exactly rolled out the red carpet for my boy. Tian mentioned that Even had said he was out of practice with people. But ultimately, he has invited Tian over, so I think he should make an effort to welcome him.
We walk past the railing, and I glance down to look at the basement window. Ah—that light is on at least, which gives me hope that the house isn’t vacant. The black-and-white tiles under our feet are in a cheerful diamond arrangement. The wide front door is a soothing teal colour with a heavy looking brass knocker in its centre.
With an apparent burst of confidence, Tian rushes forward and lifts the bulbous metal, banging twice. Then he scuttles back to wait by my side. I spy a doorbell that might be better to use considering the size of the house. I’m not sure how well sound will travel inside there. But I decide not to undermine Tian and give it a minute before suggesting we try that.
Just as I’m itching to press the button, a light comes on through the semicircle window above the door. Then it’s pulled back to reveal a flustered man in his mid-forties. He’s white with dark hair that’s showing just a touch of silver at the sides, and he’s wearing well-fitting light blue jeans and a ribbed navy jumper.
And he’s handsome . Christ, Tian showed us a couple of photos he found online, but they don’t do Evan justice. He’s got a strong jaw under his short, dark beard and he greets us with wide, piercing blue eyes. His smile is nervous, but he sighs when he catches sight of Tian.
If he’s going to melt at the sight of my boy, that earns a significant amount of favour from me.
“You came,” he says, almost sounding surprised.
“Of course!” Tian cries, rocking on the balls of his feet. “I’ve been excited to see you all day!”
It’s obvious to me after all these years that he’s allowing himself to slip quickly into his little self, and that means he trusts Evan. So I need to as well. Unfortunately, it’s difficult for me in that moment to remember that my boy isn’t technically five years old. The urge to shield him surges through me, and I turn to face Evan, ready to challenge him on the spot about his intentions towards my baby.
Except Evan is still looking at Tian like he can’t believe he’s real. “I’ve been looking forward to seeing you, too, Tian,” he says breathlessly.
He seems like he really means it. Mentally, I stand down, willing to give him some space before I jump down his throat.
He blinks and it’s as if he realises I’m there. “Oh, hello.”
He thrusts his hand towards me, and I quickly remove my glove before pressing my palm against his. The squeeze he gives me is strong but not in a way that suggests he’s trying to prove anything. It simply conveys confidence to me that I wasn’t expecting.
“You must be one of Tian’s boyfriends.”
“Yes, this is Daddy Sai,” Tian informs him proudly.
I raise my eyebrows, pleased that Evan hasn’t got his knickers in a twist about Tian already being in a relationship. Tian did say he’d explained everything and that Evan had been cool. But I’ll be honest I might possibly have had a hidden agenda in surprising him on his doorstep. It’s all well and good to say our arrangement doesn’t matter to him. But it’s a bit harder to ignore when the guy you’re about to have a date with is standing next to his current boyfriend who loves him dearly.
Evan just nods at us both, though, before waving his hand. “Come in, come in. It’s cold out there. Truth be told, it’s a bit cold in here. I don’t bother heating the whole house. Downstairs is all cosy, though. That’s where I thought we could spend the evening, Tian, if that’s all right with you?”
Checking in with my boy is also a green flag. Some Daddy Doms think they can just boss their littles or subs around with no questions asked. If the other person consents to that, I guess it could work for some people. But Tian needs to be cared for, not bullied.
I love the way he beams at Evan, who is already gently taking my boy’s coat and hanging it on the wall. “Cosy sounds perfect!” Tian enthuses. “Your house is amazing!”
That smile doesn’t reach Evan’s eyes. “It was my parents’. I inherited it. I don’t even use half the rooms, but…” He shakes himself ever so slightly and puts on a brighter smile for Tian. “Now you’re here, it’s going to feel a lot less empty.” Then he glances at me. “And is Daddy Sai going to stay for the evening?”
Okay, wow. Another green flag. Whatever issues this man has been struggling with, he clearly doesn’t have a jealous nature. He almost looks hopeful that I’ll agree.
“Oh, I need to get home to meet my husband when he gets back from work,” I explain. “I just wanted to drop Tian off.” I itch to explain why, but my reasons seem uncharitable in that moment. “Thank you, though,” I say instead. “That’s very kind of you to extend the invitation. I think Tian’s been really looking forward to having you all to himself, however.”
“Yes, Daddy,” Tian says, looking coy and snuggling up to me. He looks at Evan through his dark eyelashes. “I’m happy you got to meet each other, though!”
My gaze catches Evan’s. “Me, too,” I say genuinely.
“Well, would you like to follow us downstairs, at least?” Evan suggests to me. He picks up Tian’s duffle that he dropped to the floor when he took his coat off. “Then you can be assured it’s a great deal warmer than this old entrance hall.”
We share a chuckle, and I nod. “Sure, that would be nice.”
The walls are white and the tiles underfoot are brown and cream as well as a little ragged from wear. There are no photos or works of art hanging up and the lights on the brass chandelier above our heads are set low. I can’t deny it’s chilly and uninviting, but Evan seems aware of that, at least.
Tian has kicked his shoes off and grabs Evan’s hand. “Is it this way?” he asks, pointing down the hall to where a staircase bends around to the right. Evan’s wide-eyed gaze drops to their connected hands and for a second he just stands there with his mouth open.
“Oh, um, yes,” he splutters with a smile. “Why don’t you lead the way, Tian?”
Delighted, my baby bounces down the corridor, pulling Evan with him. I follow, giving them some space. We pass by a couple of closed doors, and I wonder what lies beyond them, but there’s no real way of knowing. If this used to be Evan’s parents’ home, perhaps there are rooms where he’s just shut their belongings and memories away.
Tian, Jude and I are incredibly lucky that our parents are not only still with us, but we have good relationships with all of them. My dad probably had the hardest time adjusting to a gay son because apparently, I ‘just didn’t seem like that’ when I was growing up. But my mum talked sense into him years ago and she boasts to anyone who’ll listen that she has not one but two very handsome sons-in-law.
Looking at the closed doors and glancing up at the rest of the dark, cold house, I wonder what sort of family Evan comes from.
They’re still holding hands as Tian drags Evan down the stairs. I could have probably left then feeling satisfied that Tian was going to be okay. But after Evan went out of his way to invite me to check out the basement level, I don’t want to be rude. I have a feeling that from one Daddy to another, he wants me to be assured by seeing where my boy is going to be spending his evening.
Green flag.
Going down the stairs is like sinking into warm water. The heating is absolutely cranked up on this level and I almost take my scarf off to appreciate it. But I really do want to leave them to it soon, so I refrain.
“Oh, wow!” Tian cries as I walk past a small bathroom at the foot of the stairs and join them both on the lower floor. My boy has let go of Evan’s hand and is slowly spinning around, taking the space in. “You’re right, this is cosy!”
Evan looks just the tiniest bit proud. He’s got Tian’s duffle hanging from his shoulder, and he twists the strap between his hands. “Thank you, sweetheart,” he says.
The term of endearment hangs in the air for a second, but not in a bad or awkward way. Just weighted. Important. Tian smiles sweetly at Evan, and my own heart swells at the tenderness of such a simple moment.
My boy is right. This is a lovely space. A reasonably large square supporting pillar stands in the centre of what is otherwise a completely open room. To my left is a kitchen and to my right beyond the stairs we just descended is a rectangular dining table big enough to fit eight people. A large L-shaped sofa separates both those areas to create a living room vibe on the left with a massive TV hanging from the wall. Beyond that are French doors that presumably lead out to a garden that’s currently hidden by the darkness of the night.
A delicious scent of roasting chicken fills the air. Instead of utilising the overhead downlights, Evan has lit a few lamps. I see a bookcase full of battered paperbacks with one novel on the coffee table by the sofa, a bookmark slotted in halfway through the pages. The space is still kind of sparse compared to the borderline chaos bursting from mine and Jude’s flat. But it’s enough that I feel like this is probably where Evan spends most of his time in this enormous house all by himself.
He’s not by himself anymore, though. He has my Tian, and I genuinely hope they’ll have a lovely time together.
“Okay, baby boy,” I say brightly, catching Tian’s attention. “I’m going to head home now. Jude and I will see you at ten o’clock unless you message me to tell me otherwise.”
He skips over and hugs me. “Yes, Daddy.”
I smile and kiss the tip of his nose. “Are you going to be good for Evan?”
It’s funny how offended my baby looks at me. “I’m always good, Daddy.”
Chuckling, I give him another chaste kiss on his cheek. “Of course you are,” I mollify him. Then I look over and meet Evan’s eyes. He’s watching us cautiously. “I’ll let myself out,” I assure him. “You two have fun.”
He slips his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I’m sure we will,” he says.
I sure they will, too.
It’s cold as I make my way back upstairs and then even more so out in the night air. But my heart is warm.
Tian isn’t just doing this man a favour by reminding him what it’s like to have a playdate with a little. I’m confident my baby is going to enjoy himself and realise that he’s always free to meet up with someone new with mine and Jude’s blessing. That warms my heart up more than enough for the walk back to the Tube.
With one of my boys in safe hands, it’s time to think about the other.
I think he deserves a treat as well, and I’m just the Daddy to give it to him.