18. Tian
CHAPTER 18
Tian
Nerves flutter in my tummy as I ring Daddy Evan’s doorbell, but this time I insisted on coming to his house alone. I’m sure Sai and Jude would have both loved to drop me off, but this is something I need to do on my own. Besides, they know Evan now. It’s not that they’re worried about me. Far from it.
I think if I’d let them tag along, they’d be unable to stop themselves barging in and joining us.
But this is special. When I first came here, both Daddy Evan and I were filled with such trepidation. I was trying to be there for him whilst he fumbled his way back into Daddying. But since then, he’s had such wonderful dates with Jude and Sai.
I’m excited to think I might get to see the real Daddy Evan tonight.
He was very insistent that I didn’t need to bring a bag of goodies like last time, but I am still wearing a silly Christmas jumper under my coat and a pair of my favourite undies that have racing cars on. My heart is thumping as I wait under the awning, noticing how more of the lights are on inside the house. It’s as if Daddy Evan is slowly waking up from hibernation.
When the front door flies open, I can’t help but gasp in surprise. Daddy Evan is also wearing a Christmas jumper. It has a gingerbread man playing an electric guitar on it.
A laugh bubbles out of my chest before I can help it. “Daddy Evan, you look so good!” I cry.
He beams and holds out his arms, displaying the jumper in all its glory. “You like it?”
“I love it!” I declare as I skip inside the house. He closes the door and immediately wraps his arms around me. It’s a good job he’s strong, because my knees have gone weak and I’m in danger of folding to the floor. “Thank you for inviting me over again.”
He squeezes me tighter and rests his head against mine. “Thank you for accepting, Baby Tee. Here, let me take your things.”
As we remove my coat and other outer accessories, he cries out in delight at my jumper with Father Christmas riding a skateboard on. I also proudly show off my socks that are patterned with mince pies.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I did bring my slippers,” I tell him, pointing to the tote bag that’s resting by my shoes.
“Of course that’s fine,” he says, fishing them out for me. “We don’t want your toesies getting chilly.”
I giggle, but then he’s crouching down and slipping them on my feet for me, and suddenly my heart is at a high risk of melting like a snowman in summer.
“Thank you, Daddy Evan,” I whisper.
He stands up and takes my hand. For a second we stare into each other’s eyes, and I want to kiss him so badly. But I also need to let him set the pace, so I smile instead and swing our arms.
“What did you want to do this evening?” I ask, genuinely curious.
Daddy Evan’s returning smile is bashful, but he also looks excited. “I’ve got us an easy dinner. It’s just chips and chicken nuggets shaped like Christmas trees that we can put in the oven, and baked beans we can microwave. The nuggies are organic and free range, I checked.”
I beam, so pleased he remembered that’s important to me. “That sounds yummy for our tummies!”
“That’s what I thought,” he agrees. “Nice and warm for a cold winter’s night. But the reason we have an easy tea is because we’re also going to be baking gingerbread. Some to eat now and some…to make a gingerbread house!”
I gasp and dance on my toes. “Really?”
He nods. “You enjoyed decorating the cupcakes last time, so I figured this was like the next level up.”
“Can we go start now?” I cry, genuinely eager. This is already such a good little date!
Daddy Evan takes a deep breath and squeezes my hand. “If it’s okay with you, Tee, I’d love to show you something first. It’s very special to me, a bit like a secret. I want to share it with you.”
My heart starts thumping again, so loud I’m sure he can hear it. A special secret just for me?
“I’d love that, Daddy Evan,” I whisper.
He nods and takes another breath before turning…and leading me up the stairs. I try not to tremble with excitement but also pride. It’s a big deal for him to share something of the rest of the house with me. I know from Sai and Jude that all of us have only been down to the basement level before.
Quietly, I keep hold of his hand and follow him up to the second floor where we stop in front of a closed door. “This room used to belong to someone extremely important to me, Tee,” Daddy Evan says, his low voice a soft rasp. “He’s not here anymore, and that made me so incredibly sad. I didn’t go in here for a very long time. But I thought you might like it, so I gave it a good clean. I think he would want you to enjoy it. We’ve got lots of time for baking, so if you wanted to stay here for a while, that would be okay.” He takes another deep breath. “Or if you don’t like it, that’s okay, too. No pressure.”
I bite my lip, trying not to feel overwhelmed. This is absolutely incredible. I feel so privileged to be here in this moment. “I’m sure it’s wonderful, Daddy Evan,” I tell him sincerely.
He swallows and looks like he steadies his nerves. Then he reaches out and opens the door, letting it swing inwards.
I can’t help it. I gasp again, my eyes brimming with tears.
This is Beau’s playroom. I just know it. The bedspread has animals all over it and one of the walls is papered to look like big, jungle leaves. A hammock hangs in the corner from the ceiling, filled with animal cuddly toys. As I step inside, the rug under my slippers is shaped like a lake with fish and octopi peeking out to say hello. Butterflies hang from the lampshade above my head, and there’s colourful flower-patterned bunting all around the tops of the walls.
The room smells fresh and lemony. Daddy Evan did say he’d given it a good clean. But there’s also a big candle in a glass jar on the dresser, recently lit and filling the air with sweet and spicy scents of Christmas. The lightbulb is dimmed low, making the space feel cosy.
It takes me a moment to trust myself enough to speak. “It’s amazing,” I say, sincerity in every syllable. I could imagine losing myself in here for hours, my imagination running wild.
“I bought you some presents,” Evan murmurs, moving beyond me to where a few items are laid out on the bed. “I know you like vehicles and travel themed things, so this is a game where you have to sail your hot air balloon around the world.”
I try not to let my hands shake as I take the box and look at the beautiful illustration on the front. It’s an old-fashioned map of the globe, and like Daddy Evan said, each player gets a different coloured hot air balloon piece to play with, just like my bedside lamp in my playroom back over at Daddy Sai and Jude’ place.
At a glance, the game rules look like a version of Snakes and Ladders, and I can’t wait to play it. “Can we open it when the gingerbread is cooling?” I ask excitedly.
He nods with a hint of a smile. “That’s what I was thinking, too.” Then he reaches back to the bed and picks up a neatly folded pile of clothes. “I had to guess your size, so I hope they’re not too big. But good boys deserve special Christmas pyjamas, don’t you think?”
Carefully, I place the game on the dresser away from the candle and accept the bundle. The material is thick and soft under my fingers, and when I shake it out, I discover a long-sleeved top with a single big design of reindeers flying Santa’s sleigh, then full-length bottoms with lots of little sleighs and reindeers.
“I love them!” I squeak, clutching them to my chest.
“If they fit, they’re yours to keep, baby boy,” Daddy Evan says warmly.
I jiggle on the spot before thrusting the clothes back into his hands and yanking my jumper over my head. “Help me put them on, Daddy Evan!”
It’s only when I drop the top on the floor that I realise my T-shirt came off with it, leaving my torso naked. Daddy Evan’s eyes have gone wide, and I giggle. Rather than feeling shy, I’m playful.
“Dah-dee,” I whine with a pout, really leaning into my regression. “I only little. Baby Tee need Daddy help.” I lift my foot and waggle it in front of him. “Pull! Pull!”
Swallowing, Daddy Evan places my pyjamas back on the bed. Then he gently touches my ankle, easing the first sock off.
By the time both socks are off and he’s unzipping my jeans, I’m no longer giggling. My breaths are ragged and I’m clasping my hands in front of my chest, watching the way his big hands move so delicately to take care of me. As he slides the jeans down my legs, he looks up at me, his eyes filled with wonder.
“Daddy Evan,” I whisper, touching the side of his face lightly. I’m only wearing my undies now, and my pee-pee is feeling all stiff and tingly inside them.
“You’re so beautiful, Baby Tee,” he croaks. His fingers are resting on my shins, and even just that little bit of contact is electric. “Thank you for coming back to see me again. Thank you for rescuing my broken heart.”
I’m definitely trembling now, even though it’s nice and warm in the playroom. I brush my thumb against his cheek, looking into his bright blue eyes. I’m a bit bigger again now.
Sexier.
“Baby Tee would do anything for Daddy Evan,” I say, realising in that moment that I mean it. I trust him like I do Daddy Sai and naughty Jude.
“I’d do anything for you, too, baby boy,” he says, still kneeling at my feet with his hands pressed against my skin. “Tell Daddy Evan what you want, what you need.”
My chest rises and falls rapidly as I look down at him, and I’m almost getting dizzy from the shallow breaths. It’s a rush. I like it. “Daddy play with Tee?” I ask in hushed tones. “Play a special grown-up game?”
He groans and closes his eyes for a second before looking back at me. “Do you want Daddy to touch you, Tee?” I nod, bunching my hands in front of my face to try and hide my grin.
“Daddy. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.”
There’s only me and him in this moment. I know I have another Daddy who loves me, but right now, I don’t need to use this amazing Daddy’s full name. We both know who we’re talking about.
“Do you want Daddy to make you feel good?” he asks, and I nod again. He takes a breath. “Do you want Daddy to take his clothes off as well?”
“Yes, please,” I hiss urgently. “And we can play on the nice bed with all the animals. I’ll be soooo good for you, Daddy. I promise.”
Daddy makes a keening noise and pulls me into a hug with his head against my hip. I run my fingers through his soft hair, scratching his head with my nails. He shudders. “You’re already so good for me, baby boy. Better than any Christmas present. You’re so beautiful.”
My cheeks flush and I almost lose the battle with my unstable knees. “Thank you, Daddy,” I whisper, my throat thick with emotion. I want to show him that he’s such an amazing Daddy and that I can be absolutely perfect for him. “I’ll do anything you want me to. Just tell me and I’ll be good.”
He’s breathing heavily as he rises to his feet, his hands cupping on either side of my face. “Can you kiss me, sweet boy?”
I don’t even bother answering. I just rise on my tiptoes and press my lips to his, tasting his warm mouth. He moans and immediately kisses me back as he holds my sides tightly, his mouth connecting with mine over and over. Then his tongue starts sneaking through, licking past my lips, and I giggle, copying him.
My pee-pee is very tingly now.
“Can Daddy kiss me on my special private places, too?” I ask against his lips, squirming in his grip. I’m clinging to his jumper with both fists, otherwise I think I might have collapsed like a puppet whose strings have been cut. I’m completely boneless and quivering, my skin hot and my breaths fluttery like the butterflies above our heads.
Daddy hums and runs his hands up and down my flanks. “Where are the special places you want Daddy to kiss, Baby Tee?” He wraps one of his hands over mine, covering it completely. “Show Daddy.”
Giggling, I guide his hand, making a map like the one for the hot air balloons.
“Here,” I say, starting by brushing his fingers over one budded nipple, then the other. Then I push it down to where I’m hard and wet in my undies. “H-here,” I say again, feeling lightheaded as he strokes me through the soft cotton. “A-and here.” I turn around and slide his middle finger along my crack over the undies, my hole puckering at just the thought of it.
Daddy moans as he fondles my botty. Then he starts kissing the side of my neck, his other hand reaching around and rubbing my pee-pee. “If you lie very still and be such a good boy,” he mumbles against my skin, “Daddy will kiss you in all those places for as long as you want.”
I gasp, leaning my back against his chest for support. “Until my pee-pee is happy?” I ask.
He squeezes it and I yelp and shiver. “Is this your pee-pee?” he asks.
“Uh-huh,” I say with a nod.
“I bet it’s so pretty, just like Baby Tee,” he murmurs between kisses along my jaw. He’s massaging my pee-pee firmly, making it throb. “I bet it tastes like candy canes. If Daddy plays with his baby boy’s pee-pee, will it be happy enough to drip yummy cream for Daddy to lick?”
“Y-yes,” I practically sob. “I promise, Daddy. I’ll be so good for you. You can play with my pee-pee and my botty and anything you like.”
He growls and hooks his thumbs over the top of my undies. “You’re so sweet, Tee. So good for Daddy. Please lie on the bed with your botty in the air and your head on the pillows.”
He slides my last scrap of clothing down my legs, leaving me totally naked. My pee-pee is pointing upwards and shiny. I want Daddy to make it so happy, I’ll do whatever he asks.
I scramble onto the bed and hug the pillows, resting on my knees so my botty is up high. I spread my legs so Daddy can see my hole. I feel so naughty but in a good, tingly way. Twisting my head, I see that Daddy has already pulled his jumper off so I can see his solid, hairy chest. His eyes meet mine as he undoes his trousers and pulls everything else off together so he’s naked as well.
“You’re gorgeous, Daddy,” I say breathlessly. I love that he looks different to both Daddy Sai and Jude. I’m such a lucky boy with all these beautiful men in my life.
His pee-pee also looks excited as he walks towards me, smiling at me and making me feel adorable. “Not as gorgeous as Baby Tee,” he insists, running his hand along my spine and cupping my botty. “Thank you for doing exactly as Daddy asked. Now, can you be a good boy and stay still whilst Daddy gives you all his kisses? You can talk as much as you like. In fact, Daddy wants to hear all your pretty noises. But you have to be good and stay still unless Daddy tells you otherwise, okay?”
“Yes, Daddy, yes,” I say over my shoulder. “I promise I’ll be good. You’ll see.”
He leans forward and holds the side of my face, looking at me with such warmth I feel like melting all over again. “I know you will, sweet baby. Now you just relax and let Daddy make you feel so good. If your pee-pee gets very happy, you have to tell Daddy. You only have permission to make Christmas cream when Daddy says it’s okay. Do you understand, baby boy?”
I nod, having hung onto every word. “Yes, Daddy.”
“Good boy,” he says softly.
The bed dips as he kneels behind me. Then his strong hands pull my botty wide, and he starts to kiss my secret hole.
I wail. I cry. I call his name and say all the bad words baby boys are allowed to say. I grip the pillow and tears run down my face, but I never move, not even when my legs are trembling like crazy.
He buries his face between my cheeks as he licks and sucks and kisses me silly. His hands tickle up and down my thighs, around my bee-bees, and along my pee-pee. It feels so amazing, my cream wants to spit out, but Daddy said I can’t until he says it’s okay. So I hold on, because I’m going to be the best boy ever for him.
“So perfect,” he mutters as he kisses up my spine and squeezes my peachy cheeks. “So good, Baby Tee. You’re being absolutely perfect for Daddy. Can you roll on your back now?”
I shift under him, my chest heaving and my limbs all shaky like jelly. My skin is sweaty but so is Daddy’s, and that means we’re playing the special grown-up game right. I can smell it in the air along with the nice Christmas candle, and I like the way it tastes on my tongue.
Not as much as I like the taste of Daddy kissing me when I can taste Baby Tee on his lips as well. I giggle and squirm against him.
“I’m having so much fun, Daddy.”
He grins and brushes my hair off my sticky forehead. “So is Daddy, baby boy. Now, can you lie still whilst Daddy kisses you some more? Remember, Daddy is allowed to play with Baby Tee’s pee-pee for as long as he wants. Baby Tee has to be a good boy and stay still and he’s not going to make Christmas cream until Daddy says so, is he?”
“No, Daddy,” I say breathlessly, but then I’m not sure. “I mean…yes, Daddy? I’ll be good, is what I mean.”
He chuckles and kisses my mouth gently. “Of course you will, sweet boy. Because you’re the best Christmas present a Daddy could hope for. Now, you just relax. Daddy will take care of everything.”
My hands flop on either side of my head as he slowly trails kisses down my tummy before swallowing my pee-pee all the way down, so it hits the back of his throat.
“Yes, Daddy, yes! Don’t stop! Like that! I love it!” I just babble and squeal and gnash my teeth, desperate to spit out lots of sticky cream, but I dig my fingernails into my palms and hold on, even when Daddy is being so wicked. “I’m a good boy,” I chant. “I’m a good boy for my Daddy. I’m good, I’m good, I’m good.”
Eventually, Daddy pops up and kisses his way back up to rub his nose against mine. I’m gasping for air and dangerously close to shaking apart. He snuggles up next to me on his side and wraps his big hand around my pee-pee, caressing it.
“So perfect and pretty, Baby Tee,” he murmurs against my lips. “So gorgeous and good. You stayed so still, just like Daddy asked. He knew you could do it. Now Daddy wants to watch you spill your cream. Do you want to give it to him?”
“Yes, yes, yes,” I sob.
“Tell Daddy what you are,” he says, his hand speeding up. Oh, oh, oh! My cream is almost coming!
“I’m a good boy,” I say, my face burning. I feel so shy I have to close my eyes rather than look at him. My hands fist the animal duvet cover.
“What else?” Daddy asks. “Remember, Baby Tee can’t come until Daddy says so.”
He’s stroking my pee-pee so fast, and where it got shiny it’s made it slippery, so it feels especially good. I moan and try and make my brain tell my mouth what words to use. “Uh…uh…I’m perfect.”
“What else?” Daddy Evan demands.
“I’m…I’m good and perfect and pretty and gorgeous,” I whine, the tears leaking down the sides of my face.
Daddy kisses my cheek. “Daddy loves watching Baby Tee and touching his pee-pee. Tell Daddy one more thing, and then you’re allowed to come, baby boy. What are you?”
It’s like my mind has a bluescreen computer error. I just need to say one more thing, just one…
“I’m…I’m…I’m yours!”
As I let go, the cream explodes all over my tummy and I scream, burying my face against Daddy’s shoulder. Sobs wrack through my chest as the cream keeps coming and coming, making a big mess all over me and Daddy’s hand. When I can, I take a really big breath in, then relax back on the pillow.
Daddy’s face is shocked at he looks at me, and suddenly all the lovely floaty feelings are in danger of disappearing as I get worried.
“Was I bad, Daddy Evan?” I whisper in horror.
He blinks and shakes his head. “Oh, goodness, no, baby boy! Tee, you were even better than perfect. Daddy was just surprised because, well, I didn’t know you could be so good. That’s Daddy’s fault for underestimating his amazing boy.”
His.
His boy. I said I was his, just before I spilled my cream.
And he liked it.
Even though a lump rises in my throat and my eyes sting, I ignore that and smile. Because even if I’m having a lot of big boy emotions, they’re happy ones. It might just be for right now, but I am his.
“Thank you, Daddy,” I say hoarsely. Then I reach down and gently stroke his big, hard pee-pee. “Can Tee help you make cream, too?”
He shakes his head before kissing me, pushing me on my back again and straddling my hips, sitting up on his knees. “You’re helping by being so good and doing everything Daddy says. You look so pretty covered in all your cream. Daddy is going to paint you with his as well. You just lie there for him.”
He starts pumping his hand, and I watch his shiny red pee-pee disappearing again and again inside his fist. He looks so strong and powerful as he looms over me. His thick, hairy legs are trembling like mine did and his heavy bee-bees swing and bounce between them.
My hands are by my head again as I lie underneath him. “Can I still talk?” I ask, and he nods.
I take a deep breath, knowing what I say right now is very important, even if I’m just a baby.
“I want my Daddy’s cream all over my body,” I say, deliberately switching from third person to first. I don’t want to detach myself from this experience at all. “My Daddy Evan is so sexy, and he takes such good care of me. I don’t have to worry about anything when I’m with Daddy Evan because he’s perfect, too. I want to watch him touch himself and spill his cream all over me because I’m his baby boy. I do whatever he tells me to because I’m his.”
He snarls and drops his head back, close to the edge. “Baby boy,” he rasps. “Baby boy, sweet baby.”
“Come all over me, Daddy. I’m yours.”
Thick ropes shoot out, streaking along my chest. Some of them even hit my chin as he keeps pumping it out. I drink in the sight of him as his whole body shudders until his bee-bees are finally empty, and he collapses on top of me, squishing our mess between our chests.
“Mine,” he croaks, hugging me tight.
It might not be something I can take home and show Daddy Sai and Jude, but I know I’ve still been marked all the same.
We stay like that for a while. He shifts so he’s not crushing me, but he keeps me wrapped in his arms as he strokes my sides and kisses my damp hair. My big boy thoughts come drifting back, but not in an intrusive way. I’m ready to mull over certain things.
Like how I don’t think these are dating lessons anymore. Like how Daddy Evan might need some help to understand that he’s ready to take the next step and how we all want him to do that together.
And about baking.
“Daddy Evan?”
“Yes, baby?” he answers sleepily, kissing my temple.
“You know how it’s a Friday?”
“I do, yes.”
“Did you also know that you have to let gingerbread houses set for several hours before you can decorate them?”
He blinks and lifts his head to look at me. “Really?” I giggle and nod, and he crinkles his brow for a second. Then he smirks at me. “And because it’s a Friday, you want to stay overnight and decorate it in the morning?”
I wriggle gleefully in his arms. “I do have new Christmas jammies I can wear,” I say wisely. “And Daddy Sai packed my toothbrush, just in case.”
“Did he now?” Daddy Evan says warmly. He traces his fingers over my face for a bit, touching my cheeks and lips and nose, like he’s memorising a map. “I’d love nothing more than for you to stay over, Baby Tee,” he murmurs.
Happiness rushes through my entire body and I can’t stop myself leaning up and kissing his mouth.
I think we’re so close to something monumental happening not only between us two but Daddy Sai and Jude as well. This is such a huge step forward.
But if he’s going to jump off the cliff with both feet, I have a feeling he’s going to need a gentle push.
Luckily, I don’t just have an idea of how to do that. I know two men who are going to be very eager to give me a hand doing it.